I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
and was in line to checkout. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? (is she kidding???) On impulse, I told her no I didn't have any
dogs, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably
shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story,
particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street
licking my ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he
staggered to the door laughing his ass off.
A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy right
up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I
would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big, and he exclaimed, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my
license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen!
Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well, now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
__________________
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress-Obama
A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy right
up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I
would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big, and he exclaimed, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my
license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen!
Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well, now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Good one Sarah. Hope you tighten up (from your "loosely" Hannitized line).
So I said to the taxi driver, 'King Authur's Close'. He said,
'Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next set of lights'
__________________ And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected...Spike Milligan
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