Are We Christians Changing About How We Treat Others?

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  1. #1
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    Default Are We Christians Changing About How We Treat Others?

    I feel that many of us, Christians are changing about how we treat other Christians & others these days, as we follow politics & real life.

    I remember debating with a fellow Christian one nite. I said "my wife has been on her death bed for a month, I just brought her home a few ago & got her to bed to sleep". "She came out of all of it, but will have to have therapy to learn to talk & walk again".

    This poster, after I said "I just put her to bed to sleep" said "well, why aren't you in there with her instead of being on here"?

    I know I've changed in some ways. I no longer feel like helping others the way I once did. When I got saved years ago, I tried to help everyone I met.

    In the 90's both of us were making good money with good jobs & high credit ratings. We decided to sell our home of 30 years & buy new one.

    We picked out a home we liked in a new sub & started the process. Our daughter said that she wanted buy our home that she was born in.

    We sold it to her & moved into our new one. I suppose every parent helps their kids, so it's really no big deal about our selling our home to our daughter cheap.

    After our daughter closed out, she came to me & said "daddy, you sold us the house $30000 under what it was worth". I said "Baby I know that, your sister has a home of her own, so we wanted you to have one you can afford too".

    That really isn't what I'm getting at, nor is it bragging. When we received the money from the sell, I met both my daughters at the bank & gave them $5000 each, just for the fun of it. Again, not bragging.

    We lived in our new home for six months, then decided we wanted to build the same home in another sub next to my wife's parents. One nite as I sat down after getting home from work, the banker who loaned us the money for the home called.

    She said "can I speak to your wife". I said "she's at work". My wife did all the planning & buying of the house, so she wanted to talk to her.

    I said "I'll talk with you". She said "OK, I'd like to buy your house for my younger daughter". She further said "my oldest daughter just bought a home down the street from you, now my youngest want's to have one also".

    I said OK, it's yours free". I hoped that she didn't have false teeth when I told her that! Anyway, I had more paint, so I went thru every room, filled in the picture holes, then painted over every scratch. The carpet & everything was perfect as any new home should be.

    My wife's father said as he sold his home, that he wanted to live debt free in his new home the rest of their lives, especially if he died first.

    So my wife asked can we make up the difference in what my parents' money they got from the sale of their home & make them debt free, with a paid for home? I said "of course". We put $85000 cash in for them, as well as buying them new furniture.

    That was 16 years ago that they have lived debt free. Tho her father passed away 3 three years ago & her mother is 87.

    I really don't know if this makes sense, I hope so.
    This week under President Trump the DOW reached over 23000 & we're talking about something Trump said. WOW!

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  3. #2

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    It does make sense, it's just kind of disconnected parts.

    As to the contents, I am sorry about you're wife's illness, (I'm guessing stroke), and I add that since, in your story, you had apparently been doting over her and gad put her to bed, having some of your own time ia perfectly healthy even spiritually and emotionally necessary.... for each of you.

    more in a bit.

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  5. #3

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    You asked "Are We Christians Changing About How We Treat Others?" and told some stories about being charitable toward your daughter and VERY charitable toward your parents and to bank's loan officer (all three stories from shortly after you were saved some 16 years ago.)

    All I can do is to relate that to my own experience, those I have observed or read about in others.

    I have absolutely ZERO reason to believe that Christians or Christianity has undergone a major change in the past 16 years.*

    I have seen that as people come to see love is an action verb, and that Christ is about love, not about rules and laws, it is not unusual to take actions, that seem to start off 'big' and later wane.

    1) The Thessalonians were among the first Gentiles St. Paul converted. Being suddenly, upon conversion, uninterested in personal worldly wealth they enacted a form of communalism only to find it wasn't working out. Some two decades later Paul had to write to them in 2Thess. that "those who do not work, should not eat."

    **THEY HAD TO CHANGE, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY REGRETTED TRYING.**

    2) Years ago employed only as a part-time deli clerk in my local supermarket I worked the 5 am shift. My boss was having trouble finding a 'kid' to work my days off. He took a chance and hired a homeless vet. I pitched in by taking the same guy into my house, letting him eat my food, drink my beer and drive a broken down car I had not yet taken to the junkyard.

    Suffice it to say, the guy was not a drug addict, and it didn't work out.

    **I HAD TO CHANGE BUT I DID NOT REGRET TRYING.**

    3) I'm an alcoholic-in-recovery myself, I attend six meetings a week. Long story, but I had been providing McBurgers and coffee and a listening ear to street people for months. No judgement, no prostelytizing, just being a nonjudgemental friend showing one day at a time that I am one of you, if I can do it you can too.

    I was living in a 'sober house' and working in a Wal Mart, trying to put my life together. The burgers and coffee cost a substantial part of my disposable income.

    This April, (I had 6 months sobriety) a disheveled but well dressed woman who recognized me from the meetings, walked upon my break area outside work (Walmart).

    She had been living in a 'sober house,' but relapsed and had been living on the streets for 3 nights. Good looking, totally drunk, and totally lacking in street skills there was no 'maybe.' In that neighborhood she would have been owned by a pimp within weeks.

    I pulled out all the stops. I told my boss I had a 'personal emergency,' and took the rest of the day off. I took her to the local homeless meal at an Episcopal Church. She took the Eucharist, but passed on the wine. I took her to an AA meeting she picked up a new white chip.

    I had been trying to get her into a homeless shelter, but she said she was afraid (bad things happen in those places). She was expecting me to give a hug and wish her luck.

    The holy spirit must have entered me because I told her 'No. I'm going to the mat on this one. I'm not leaving you to drown.'

    I told her I would sleep on the sidewalk in front of the shelter if that's what it took, but she was going to sleep under a roof tonight.'

    She knew that meant I would miss curfew, lose my housing, be on the street, probably lose my job . . . be on the streets instead of her.

    In the end, she spent two sober sleepless nights in a parked car, then I gave her $150 for 2 nights in a hotel. With 4 nights sober she could pass a urine test and got back into a sober house.

    That was 7 months ago. Today she is employed as a paralegal making twice what I do. We live in different states and stay in touch by text.

    POINT BEING it isn't always about money, but if we give and keep giving, if we love and keep loving, we will probably do it the wrong way many times, but eventually, God will hear us praying for others and show us the right way to do His work.

    Everything (job transfer etc.) seems to be lining up for me to move back to Long Island in a couple of weeks.

    *****
    Matthew 25 21
    “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small affair, so now I will give you many more responsibilities."
    *****

    Perservere.

    Do not be afraid to grow and change, and to do God's work in new ways than you have in the past.

    Keep the faith and God will come to you allowing you to do His work in new and more beneficial ways.

    I can think of no greater reward.

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  7. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaius View Post
    You asked "Are We Christians Changing About How We Treat Others?" and told some stories about being charitable toward your daughter and VERY charitable toward your parents and to bank's loan officer (all three stories from shortly after you were saved some 16 years ago.)

    All I can do is to relate that to my own experience, those I have observed or read about in others.

    I have absolutely ZERO reason to believe that Christians or Christianity has undergone a major change in the past 16 years.*

    I have seen that as people come to see love is an action verb, and that Christ is about love, not about rules and laws, it is not unusual to take actions, that seem to start off 'big' and later wane.

    1) The Thessalonians were among the first Gentiles St. Paul converted. Being suddenly, upon conversion, uninterested in personal worldly wealth they enacted a form of communalism only to find it wasn't working out. Some two decades later Paul had to write to them in 2Thess. that "those who do not work, should not eat."

    **THEY HAD TO CHANGE, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY REGRETTED TRYING.**

    2) Years ago employed only as a part-time deli clerk in my local supermarket I worked the 5 am shift. My boss was having trouble finding a 'kid' to work my days off. He took a chance and hired a homeless vet. I pitched in by taking the same guy into my house, letting him eat my food, drink my beer and drive a broken down car I had not yet taken to the junkyard.

    Suffice it to say, the guy was not a drug addict, and it didn't work out.

    **I HAD TO CHANGE BUT I DID NOT REGRET TRYING.**

    3) I'm an alcoholic-in-recovery myself, I attend six meetings a week. Long story, but I had been providing McBurgers and coffee and a listening ear to street people for months. No judgement, no prostelytizing, just being a nonjudgemental friend showing one day at a time that I am one of you, if I can do it you can too.

    I was living in a 'sober house' and working in a Wal Mart, trying to put my life together. The burgers and coffee cost a substantial part of my disposable income.

    This April, (I had 6 months sobriety) a disheveled but well dressed woman who recognized me from the meetings, walked upon my break area outside work (Walmart).

    She had been living in a 'sober house,' but relapsed and had been living on the streets for 3 nights. Good looking, totally drunk, and totally lacking in street skills there was no 'maybe.' In that neighborhood she would have been owned by a pimp within weeks.

    I pulled out all the stops. I told my boss I had a 'personal emergency,' and took the rest of the day off. I took her to the local homeless meal at an Episcopal Church. She took the Eucharist, but passed on the wine. I took her to an AA meeting she picked up a new white chip.

    I had been trying to get her into a homeless shelter, but she said she was afraid (bad things happen in those places). She was expecting me to give a hug and wish her luck.

    The holy spirit must have entered me because I told her 'No. I'm going to the mat on this one. I'm not leaving you to drown.'

    I told her I would sleep on the sidewalk in front of the shelter if that's what it took, but she was going to sleep under a roof tonight.'

    She knew that meant I would miss curfew, lose my housing, be on the street, probably lose my job . . . be on the streets instead of her.

    In the end, she spent two sober sleepless nights in a parked car, then I gave her $150 for 2 nights in a hotel. With 4 nights sober she could pass a urine test and got back into a sober house.

    That was 7 months ago. Today she is employed as a paralegal making twice what I do. We live in different states and stay in touch by text.

    POINT BEING it isn't always about money, but if we give and keep giving, if we love and keep loving, we will probably do it the wrong way many times, but eventually, God will hear us praying for others and show us the right way to do His work.

    Everything (job transfer etc.) seems to be lining up for me to move back to Long Island in a couple of weeks.

    *****
    Matthew 25 21
    “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small affair, so now I will give you many more responsibilities."
    *****

    Perservere.

    Do not be afraid to grow and change, and to do God's work in new ways than you have in the past.

    Keep the faith and God will come to you allowing you to do His work in new and more beneficial ways.

    I can think of no greater reward.
    You're quite a guy.
    This week under President Trump the DOW reached over 23000 & we're talking about something Trump said. WOW!

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  9. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Duck View Post
    You're quite a guy.
    And you sir, are quite extraordinary

    You have done a huge amount of good for your family. These days, just being a 'typical' good man is rare enough. that is rare enough, it probably always has been.

    But the generous things you did are rare indeed.

    My experience, and that of the Thessalonians, is that first we help one way, then we find a different way.

    'First one way, then a different way,' hasn't changed in 2,000 years and certainly, if your method of doing God's work has changed from 16 years ago, that doesn't mean you are doing worse, or doing less.

    Wanna help some more? I have a friend, a devout Christian, who herself is mobility impaired and experienced in being a live-in aid for severly or terminally ill women. She is having a hard time finding a job.

    Maybe you or someone in your circle of similarly-situated friends has need of her services.

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  11. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Koushi Shinigami View Post
    .
    Think what you want.

    Amazing things do happen and I have seen them. Since I now live on society's poverty-stricken edge, when I see these amazing things the happen to and among people for whom the next step down is to a pretty hellacious place, the street, the park bench or worse.

    And it remains true that for many people their first attempts at really truly doing God's work succeed in little more than draining their time and their bank accounts. Only later do we 'get it right.'

    ****
    James CH1
    2 My brothers, consider it a great joy when trials of many kinds come upon you,
    3 for you well know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, and
    4 perseverance must complete its work so that you will become fully developed, complete, not deficient in any way.
    ****

    Christianity is not about,
    - go to church,
    - don't cheat at golf,
    - hold a bingo fundraiser for the Catholic school
    - and don't wear a condom.
    It's a real thing. You'll see it when you believe it.

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  13. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex McAlpine View Post
    What in the world?

    Gaius shares a heart-felt story and you're being sarcasatic toward him? Gaius??
    Not a problem. People can believe what I post or not.

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  15. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaius View Post
    Not a problem. People can believe what I post or not.
    It was a nice story regardless. Thanks for sharing.
    “It is precisely the minor differences in people who are otherwise alike that form the basis of feelings of hostility between them.” Sigmund Freud

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  17. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Christian View Post
    It was a nice story regardless. Thanks for sharing.
    Thank you.

    An alcoholic in early recovery, who relapsed, found another alcoholic in early recovery asked for, and received help. Nothing unusual there.

    The unusual part was that she happened to be unusually close to a precipice, I happened to be unusually situated to provide exactly the help she needed.

    Once another friend really did receive a free house from one of his old high school buddies. Friend 1 was a single dad of modest means. His buddy was dying of cancer and estranged frim his family.

    Unusual? Yes, but amazing things do happen.

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  20. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaius View Post
    Think what you want.

    Amazing things do happen and I have seen them. Since I now live on society's poverty-stricken edge, when I see these amazing things the happen to and among people for whom the next step down is to a pretty hellacious place, the street, the park bench or worse.

    And it remains true that for many people their first attempts at really truly doing God's work succeed in little more than draining their time and their bank accounts. Only later do we 'get it right.'

    ****
    James CH1
    2 My brothers, consider it a great joy when trials of many kinds come upon you,
    3 for you well know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, and
    4 perseverance must complete its work so that you will become fully developed, complete, not deficient in any way.
    ****

    Christianity is not about,
    - go to church,
    - don't cheat at golf,
    - hold a bingo fundraiser for the Catholic school
    - and don't wear a condom.
    It's a real thing. You'll see it when you believe it.
    You are reading too much into a dot on a page. I think there is a better than even chance the quoted post will be deleted when the poster realizes how much of his ass he has shown. Now that content will remain regardless of what he decides to do.
    .

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  22. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Koushi Shinigami View Post
    You are reading too much into a dot on a page. I think there is a better than even chance the quoted post will be deleted when the poster realizes how much of his ass he has shown. Now that content will remain regardless of what he decides to do.
    You are probably correct. I DID take the period to imply agreement (you with Duck) anything beyond that was my imagination. 😌

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  24. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Duck View Post
    You know what, you're real funny!
    I do know that. Thank you.
    .

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  26. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaius View Post
    Think what you want.

    Amazing things do happen and I have seen them. Since I now live on society's poverty-stricken edge, when I see these amazing things the happen to and among people for whom the next step down is to a pretty hellacious place, the street, the park bench or worse.

    And it remains true that for many people their first attempts at really truly doing God's work succeed in little more than draining their time and their bank accounts. Only later do we 'get it right.'

    ****
    James CH1
    2 My brothers, consider it a great joy when trials of many kinds come upon you,
    3 for you well know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, and
    4 perseverance must complete its work so that you will become fully developed, complete, not deficient in any way.
    ****

    Christianity is not about,
    - go to church,
    - don't cheat at golf,
    - hold a bingo fundraiser for the Catholic school
    - and don't wear a condom.
    It's a real thing. You'll see it when you believe it.
    Wait a minute man................I'm not supposed to cheat at golf?
    “Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been. ”
    ― Jimmy Buffett

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  28. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Duck View Post
    Really? I'm a totally honest man that says what I mean & mean what I say. I don't allow anyone to kick me & not kick them back.
    In the first place, Gaius did NOT kick you. He was totally sympathetic toward you. He pointed out to you that your story was just a wee bit disconnected but that is hardly a "kick!" And then he went on to show nothing but sympathy for your situation.

    In the second place - isn't there something called "turning the other cheek?" If you're secure in your faith, these little kicks should be like water off a duck's back to you. You should speak more in sorrow than in anger.

    Gaius' response:

    It does make sense, it's just kind of disconnected parts.

    As to the contents, I am sorry about you're wife's illness, (I'm guessing stroke), and I add that since, in your story, you had apparently been doting over her and gad put her to bed, having some of your own time ia perfectly healthy even spiritually and emotionally necessary.... for each of you.
    Sounds to me like he's totally sympathetic to you.

    You said:

    Of all the sins anyone could do against another, I believe lying is at the top.
    Lying is worse than beating you to a pulp?


    However, I have NEVER told a story that has happened to me or my family that was a lie, period.
    It may not be a lie in that you are telling a deliberate untruth. That doesn''t mean that you aren't telling an untruth. Easy to misinterpret or misremember things if you're sick or if you're stressed out.

    Have you noticed, that only when another poster replied to me all of you came on like wolves attacking me?
    We "attacked" you because you attacked this poor guy who was actually sympathetic toward you and sharing his own positive story. He was the only one who thought your post worth responding to and he did so in a positive way, and you dissed him.


    I don't mind being hated.
    I don't think "hate" is the emotion in question.

    I just don't like being called a liar. Duck
    As I'm sure other people don't.

    But again, some people say things that they *believe* in all honesty to be factual, and true, when in actual fact they aren't.

    That's why eye-witness testimony is unreliable. Most witnesses who saw the same events tell different stories - and each one swears on the Bible that they're telling the truth. And they believe it. But they're mis-remembering or misinterpreting what they saw - as you did with Gaius.
    Last edited by Alex McAlpine; December 6th, 2017 at 2:52 am.
    "Let joy and innocence prevail."
    "Everyone's important to somebody."
    "Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can break hearts."

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  30. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex McAlpine View Post
    In the first place, Gaius did NOT kick you. He was totally sympathetic toward you. He pointed out to you that your story was just a wee bit disconnected but that is hardly a "kick!" And then he went on to show nothing but sympathy for your situation.

    In the second place - isn't there something called "turning the other cheek?" If you're secure in your faith, these little kicks should be like water off a duck's back to you. You should speak more in sorrow than in anger.

    Gaius' response:



    Sounds to me like he's totally sympathetic to you.

    You said:



    Lying is worse than beating you to a pulp?




    It may not be a lie in that you are telling a deliberate untruth. That doesn''t mean that you aren't telling an untruth. Easy to misinterpret or misremember things if you're sick or if you're stressed out.



    We "attacked" you because you attacked this poor guy who was actually sympathetic toward you and sharing his own positive story. He was the only one who thought your post worth responding to and he did so in a positive way, and you dissed him.




    I don't think "hate" is the emotion in question.



    As I'm sure other people don't.

    But again, some people say things that they *believe* in all honesty to be factual, and true, when in actual fact they aren't.

    That's why eye-witness testimony is unreliable. Most witnesses who saw the same events tell different stories - and each one swears on the Bible that they're telling the truth. And they believe it. But they're mis-remembering or misinterpreting what they saw - as you did with Gaius.
    I realize that I have cognitive impairment & at times I don't make myself clear, BUT nothing that I said after I said I was using sarcasm had ANYTHING to do with Gaius, nothing at all. I was speaking of how I'm called a liar daily here.
    This week under President Trump the DOW reached over 23000 & we're talking about something Trump said. WOW!

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