Is creamy penut butter biblical?

[buflineks]

I just didn't want to feel left out.

Any scripture to back this up?

[Citizen]

Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Ezekiel 4:9 Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself.

[Jeemie]

LOL!!!!!!!

:)) :)) :)) :)) :))

Now THIS was funny!

The recent spate of "Is such and such a sin?" threads were getting to be too much!!!!!

Bacon with your eggs must be right out though, I guess!

[Dancer]

Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Ezekiel 4:9 Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself.
Does that mean chunky is better?

[Citizen]

Does that mean chunky is better?


That's the way I interpret it. :cool:

[buflineks]

Bacon with your eggs must be right out though, I guess!

Infidel, don't you know that it's Green Eggs and Ham please refer to Seuss 36:3

[Dancer]

That's the way I interpret it. :cool:7 Now the manna was like coriander seed, and its appearance like that of bdellium. 8 The people would go about and gather it and grind it between two millstones or beat it in the mortar, and boil it in the pot and make cakes with it; and its taste was as the taste of cakes baked with oil. 9 When the dew fell on the camp at night, the manna would fall with it.

I don't know...

It was ok for the Israelites to grind the manna when it fell. ;) Maybe both chunky AND creamy peanut butter are allowed??? :shifty:

[JFKLiberal]

I just didn't want to feel left out.

Any scripture to back this up?


No, it is unnatural - Romans chapter one.

Thou shalt eat chunky peanut butter only!

[buflineks]

I don't know...

It was ok for the Israelites to grind the manna when it fell. ;) Maybe both chunky AND creamy peanut butter are allowed??? :shifty:

Didn't we adress the issue of chunky v. creamy during the Council of Hannity 2005 A.D.?

[Dancer]

Didn't we adress the issue of chunky v. creamy during the Council of Hannity 2005 A.D.?links, please? ;)

[stormy]

Peanut butter is an affront to the Jelly gods of the sky!

What is this blasphemy you speak?

[CatholicGuy]

Peanut butter is an affront to the Jelly gods of the sky!

What is this blasphemy you speak?

You accuse someone of blasphemy...yet....yet you are an LSU fan. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black :rolleyes:

To make it even worse, somehow you used your bayou mojo to hex the honorable Crimson Tide.

[buflineks]

links, please? ;)


http://hannity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28774&page=15&highlight=creamy

Start at post # 20.

[stormy]

You accuse someone of blasphemy...yet....yet you are an LSU fan. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black :rolleyes:

To make it even worse, somehow you used your bayou mojo to hex the honorable Crimson Tide.YOU JUDAS OF THE SEC!!

Was 30 pieces of silver all it took for you to betray the SEC Tiger gods for which you are to hold allegiance until the coming of the new year?!

A bayou mojo hex is now tossed on your head! :twisted:

[Dancer]

http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t=28774&page=15&highlight=creamy

Start at post # 20.ROFL

Although I understood your analogy of chunky vs creamy (so I must need to go to the funny farm), I actually agreed more with archangelo's determination of the Orthodoxy of creamy...lol

[CatholicGuy]

YOU JUDAS OF THE SEC!!

Was 30 pieces of silver all it took for you to betray the SEC Tiger gods for which you are to hold allegiance until the coming of the new year?!

A bayou mojo hex is now tossed on your head! :twisted:

But I still have an LSU friendly sig line...doesn't that count for somethin'?

[buflineks]

YOU JUDAS OF THE SEC!!

Was 30 pieces of silver all it took for you to betray the SEC Tiger gods for which you are to hold allegiance until the coming of the new year?!

A bayou mojo hex is now tossed on your head! :twisted:

<Irish whiskey all over the keyboard and monitor>

LMBO:)):)):)):))

<falling out of my chair, hitting my head on the desk>

ROTF:)):)):)):)) PIMP.

[buflineks]

ROFL

Although I understood your analogy of chunky vs creamy (so I must need to go to the funny farm), I actually agreed more with archangelo's determination of the Orthodoxy of creamy...lol

Again, as a member of the Council of Hannity, I must abide by the decision of the Council, For Creamy is truely the pure form and thus it has been made doctrine.

[stormy]

But I still have an LSU friendly sig line...doesn't that count for somethin'?HEX BE ON YOUR HEAD !!!!!


BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[basilisk]

I like Jif brand, personally. It smells good.

[texan_rep]

Again, as a member of the Council of Hannity, I must abide by the decision of the Council, For Creamy is truely the pure form and thus it has been made doctrine.

:eek:

As I stated in the previous thread...

More History on the Question of "Chunky" vs. "Creamy"

In the mid-1500s, a German soybean farmer named Martin "Skippy" Looser complained to the authorities about the large subsidies being paid to peanut farmers in order to increase their crops. Large crops of peanuts were needed to produce the only peanut-butter in existence at the time, what we now call "chunky". These subsidies were not extended to other farmers, such as those growing soybeans.

Looser determined that if the chunks were removed from the peanut butter, smaller peanut crops could be grown, and thus subsidies to peanut farmers could be eliminated. He then began growing his own (small) crop of peanuts, and produced a different kind of peanut butter...what we now know as "creamy".

Needless to say, the peanut farmers didn't take to this too well. The leader of the worldwide peanut farmer combine, "Pope" Peter Pan, immediately pronounced "creamy" peanut butter to be "not" peanut butter, and forbade its sale in countries wishing to be friendly with the combine. He is quoted as saying, "If any man believe that peanuts belongeth not in peanut butter, let him be anasema. Pass me that banana, will you?"

[texan_rep]

BTW, buf...

What is a "penut"?

I'm really really REALLY afraid to ask...

:eek:

[buflineks]

CG,

Don't mess with them cajun vodoo women. My mama said.........my mama said.....my mama said...........my mama......my mam........My mama said that they can do things like bury your drawers in the back yard and you won't never be able to leave the house.:eek:

[buflineks]

BTW, buf...

What is a "penut"?

I'm really really REALLY afraid to ask...

:eek:

The result of drunken fingers.:redface:

[texan_rep]

hmmmm...

a "penut" is a result of drunken fingers...:think:

:eek:

No...I resist the temptation...

[Dancer]

The result of drunken fingers.:redface:It is the Penut (pronounced Pen-oot). Like the Penutlemate, close to the final?

[Citizen]

Didn't we adress the issue of chunky v. creamy during the Council of Hannity 2005 A.D.?


Some of us don't recognize that Council.

"Sola Threadera."

[buflineks]

Some of us don't recognize that Council.

"Sola Threadera."

Does that mean that you are refering to the Council of Chunkydon and the 59 legumes?

[basilisk]

Some of us don't recognize that Council.

"Sola Threadera.":)) Oh, that's classic!

[Citizen]

Does that mean that you are refering to the Council of Chunkydon and the 59 legumes?


I am simply making a case for the chunky goodness as it was God-given. I think the original meaning of the Chunky Jiff's has been lost and/or corrupted.

[Citizen]

:)) Oh, that's classic!


We need to laugh with each other more often! It's "funner."

[buflineks]

We need to laugh with each other more often! It's "funner."


:dance::dance::dance::clap::clap::clap:

[basilisk]

We need to laugh with each other more often! It's "funner."Amen!

So...are you a Jif man, too?

[Citizen]

Amen!

So...are you a Jif man, too?


Yup. It's got everything I need.

[centurian_trev]

Amen!

So...are you a Jif man, too?


i've never met a peanut butter i didn't like.

you all ought to try smucker's peanut butter. the ingredients?

peanuts, salt.

[Yehudah]

Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Ezekiel 4:9 Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself.
Any OT refrences to peanut butter don't count, since all that's important now is 'grace'.

[centurian_trev]

Any OT refrences to peanut butter don't count, since all that's important now is 'grace'.

it is by grace that our peanut crop is saved.

[buflineks]

Any OT refrences to peanut butter don't count, since all that's important now is 'grace'.

:lol::lol:

Touche'!:mrgreen:

[centurian_trev]

Folks, I just realized the whole time that we have been following a hoax!

penut butter doesn't even exist!

the OP was playing off of our love for peanut butter.


drat. i thought this was the real deal :(

...i hope he doesn't start serving kool-aide soon.

[buflineks]

I am simply making a case for the chunky goodness as it was God-given. I think the original meaning of the Chunky Jiff's has been lost and/or corrupted.

I to be the Harbinger of doom, but boy, are you in for a sermon when Archangelo gets outta class.:lol:

[Citizen]

Any OT refrences to peanut butter don't count, since all that's important now is 'grace'.


Except that Jesus declared all foods clean.

Mark 7:1-23

[Citizen]

I to be the Harbinger of doom, but boy, are you in for a sermon when Archangelo gets outta class.:lol:


I just don't see why we would dare limit God's ability to reveal himself through scripture concerning peanut butter to only those who claim a certain title.:razz:

[buflineks]

I just don't see why we would dare limit God's ability to reveal himself through scripture concerning peanut butter to only those who claim a certain title.:razz:


:lol::lol::lol:


I like this game! it's silly!:mrgreen:

[LeroyBrown]

Is creamy penut butter biblical?

I just didn't want to feel left out.

Any scripture to back this up?

All peanut butter is bad. God hate's crushed nuts. Deuteronomy 23:1

:whistle:

[buflineks]

All peanut butter is bad. God hate's crushed nuts. Deuteronomy 23:1

:whistle:


ow!!!!!!:eek:

[centurian_trev]

All peanut butter is bad. God hate's crushed nuts. Deuteronomy 23:1

:whistle:


more evidence that we have been tricked!

[Citizen]

All peanut butter is bad. God hate's crushed nuts. Deuteronomy 23:1

:whistle:


Sinner. :whistle:

[Dancer]

Sinner. :whistle:Them's fightin' words














to someone.

[basilisk]

All peanut butter is bad. God hate's crushed nuts. Deuteronomy 23:1

:whistle: What're you whistling for? :hand: :eek:

[Socrates]

Any OT refrences to peanut butter don't count, since all that's important now is 'grace'.
Creamy does not destroy the chunky. It fulfills the chunky. [Skippy 5:17]

[bobfisher]

All will be SMOOTH & CREAMY in the end.

Luke 3

5 Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill shall be brought low; and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough ways [shall be] made smooth;

6 And all flesh shall see the salvation of God.

[archangelo]

HEX BE ON YOUR HEAD !!!!!


BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Please, Sister Stormy, get a grip! If this was a Peanut Butter v. Mormonaise thread, I'd understand, but...:rolleyes:

[stormy]

Please, Sister Stormy, get a grip! If this was a Peanut Butter v. Mormonaise thread, I'd understand, but...:rolleyes::))

Oh this one put me in tears. :))

[archangelo]

Some of us don't recognize that Council.

"Sola Threadera."
Oh, sure...and I suppose you try to pass off tahini as the real thing, too!:rolleyes:

[archangelo]

We need to laugh with each other more often! It's "funner."
Oh, yeah!:dance: :clap: :))

[archangelo]

Any OT refrences to peanut butter don't count, since all that's important now is 'grace'.
No, no! That's "grease" as in the "bacon grease" that remains after the communal sharing of a bacon and peanut butter sandwich. Of course, the use of bacon would only be permitted in the new dispensary ("cafeteria" to Catholics).:whistle:

[buflineks]

No, no! That's "grease" as in the "bacon grease" that remains after the communal sharing of a bacon and peanut butter sandwich. Of course, the use of bacon would only be permitted in the new dispensary ("cafeteria" to Catholics).:whistle:

:)):))

[archangelo]

I to be the Harbinger of doom, but boy, are you in for a sermon when Archangelo gets outta class.:lol:
Skippus locuta est; fluffernuce finita est.

Besides, my Caesar sig says it all.:cool:

[buflineks]

Skippus locuta est; fluffernuce finita est.

Besides, my Caesar sig says it all.:cool:

ROTFLMBO

:)):)):)):))

[archangelo]

Except that Jesus declared all foods clean.

Mark 7:1-23
Peanut butter stickiness notwithstanding:

"If you were sticky, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, 'We are clean,' your stickiness remains."

John 9:41
Textus Jifficus

[buflineks]

Peanut butter stickiness notwithstanding:

"If you were sticky, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, 'We are clean,' your stickiness remains."

John 9:41
Textus Jifficus

Praise the lord and pass the Ritz crackers.:pray:

[archangelo]

What're you whistling for? :hand: :eek:
If thou art a true pealiever, thou canst not whistle, for sealed be thy pucker.

[Lord Dreadmore]

so this is the official mock the bible thread from the usual suspects

[Socrates]

so this is the official mock the bible thread from the usual suspects
Yeah, the official "Self righteous indignation from people lacking senses of humor" is down the hall.

[archangelo]

so this is the official mock the bible thread from the usual suspects
Please forgive us, Lord! Thy countenance is dreadful! Thy righteousness is without question!

[archangelo]

Yeah, the official "Self righteous indignation from people lacking senses of humor" is down the hall.
With all the other faithful witnesses with demonic avatars who refer to themselves as "Lord.":rolleyes:

[Lord Dreadmore]

Yeah, the official "Self righteous indignation from people lacking senses of humor" is down the hall.
mocking the bible is fun huh?

[Dancer]

Is a sense of humor a gift of God? (http://www.hannity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39757)

1 Corinthians 12
1Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant.

2Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.

3Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.

4Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.

5And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.

6And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.

7But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.

8For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;

9To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;

10To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:

11But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.

12For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.

13For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.

14For the body is not one member, but many.

15If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

16And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

17If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?

18But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

19And if they were all one member, where were the body?

20But now are they many members, yet but one body.

21And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

22Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:

23And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

24For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked.

25That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

26And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

27Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

28And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.

29Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?

30Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret?

31But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.God didn't consider Sarah laughing to be 'mocking' him. He even renamed her "She laughs".

God knows the intent of our hearts.

[Socrates]

With all the other faithful witnesses with demonic avatars who refer to themselves as "Lord.":rolleyes:
http://www.free-smileys.org/emo/whacky055.gif

[Citizen]

All will be SMOOTH & CREAMY in the end.


:))

[Citizen]

Creamy does not destroy the chunky. It fulfills the chunky. [Skippy 5:17]


:)) Oh dear Lord this thread is cracking me up....

[Socrates]

:)) Oh dear Lord this thread is cracking me up....
That's 'cuz you're a heathen who likes to mock the bible.:rolleyes:


:razz:

[Dancer]

:think: Based upon these scriptures... Does that mean one can fully digest the chunky through the creamy?

[Citizen]

That's 'cuz you're a heathen who likes to mock the bible.:rolleyes:


:razz:


:razz: And there I thought I was mocking myself. :))

[Citizen]

:think: Based upon these scriptures... Does that mean one can fully digest the chunky through the creamy?


I don't think you can actually appreciate the chunky without acquiring a knowledge of the creamy. :think:

[buflineks]

so this is the official mock the bible thread from the usual suspects


No, NO, NO!!!!!!!


It's not plural, it's singular. I am solely responsible for it. I started it. I'm to blame. Granted, The CCC joined in as well as some of my other playmates. Heck, we even gained a new convert, Citizen. He understands the value of humor.

But who cares? All I have to do is buy an indulgence and I'm off the Hook.:rolleyes:

And you've totally missed the point of this thread, I'm not mocking the Bible, I'm mocking people who take "evangilizing" way to seriously. It's humor intended to show absurdity, it's called SATIRE.

This forum is sometimes WAY TOO INTENSE. A little levity now and then about silly piddly stuff is a way for people to stop, look a things and maybe bring a smile to their face.

We have said nothing here that is "out of line" or vulger, or crude.
We're having fun. If you have a problem about that I suggest you go post in the mod forum and try to have me banned for " Mocking the bible".

But until such time, I will continue to engage in humor and try to bring smiles to the faces of my fellow members .

So, THERE!!!!!!!!!!:razz::razz::razz::razz::razz:

[PaleoPaul]

LD, go to hben's thread about the Texas Poker game. Is HE mocking the Bible TOO?!

[Citizen]

Personally, poking fun at our pomp and circumstance concerning the Holy word doesn't bother me. I am more than confident about my knowledge of the word. I suspect those who participated in this thread are just as confident.

[centurian_trev]

Personally, poking fun at our pomp and circumstance concerning the Holy word doesn't bother me. I am more than confident about my knowledge of the word. I suspect those who participated in this thread are just as confident.


sigh... i can't believe this fun thread, a thread that united all of us believers of different doctrines, has turned into this. so sad.


not blaming you, citizen... you were just the last one to make comment on the subject, so i quoted you.

[buflineks]

mocking the bible is fun huh?

No, mocking people like you is fun. :whistle:

[Citizen]

sigh... i can't believe this fun thread, a thread that united all of us believers of different doctrines, has turned into this. so sad.


not blaming you, citizen... you were just the last one to make comment on the subject, so i quoted you.


No worries, I didn't think you were referring to me since my hands are a tad dirty.

[vir doctus]

Hey Boss, you really blew it on the title.

Just thought I'd let you know...:whistle:

[Dancer]

I don't think you can actually appreciate the chunky without acquiring a knowledge of the creamy. :think:So, creamy is fulfillment of the chunky?

[buflineks]

sigh... i can't believe this fun thread, a thread that united all of us believers of different doctrines, has turned into this. so sad.

And that was my true intent. Regardless of our differences, it is truely a gift from God when we can all come together and laugh.


I think next time I start a thread like this I'll post a warning for Lord Dreadmore to consult his spiritual advisor before reading it because it may be against his religion to laugh at anything put out by the Catholic Comedy Corps.:rolleyes:

[buflineks]

Hey Boss, you really blew it on the title.

Just thought I'd let you know...:whistle:

It wasn't my fault, my fingers were drunk while the rest of me was sober.

I swear!

[Socrates]

LD, go to hben's thread about the Texas Poker game. Is HE mocking the Bible TOO?!
Hey that was MY thread, so LD will still be riding his high horse.

I was actually mocking all the threads asking whether things were "biblical." As was the peanut butter one I imagine.

It's just a shame that the poles up some people's butts have poles up their butts.

[Socrates]

So, creamy is fulfillment of the chunky?
Once creamy, always creamy.

[vir doctus]

I swear!

That is frowned upon more than misspelling. :naughty:

[Citizen]

So, creamy is fulfillment of the chunky?


I think the creamy revealed the need for the chunky.

[buflineks]

I wonder if Lord Dreadmore is actually a disciple of Tofu?:think:

[Dancer]

I wonder if Lord Dreadmore is actually a disciple of Tofu?:eek: :sick:

[buflineks]

I think the creamy revealed the need for the chunky.

I thought creamy revealed the need for Ritz crackers?:wall::wall::redface:

[Citizen]

I thought creamy revealed the need for Ritz crackers?:wall::wall::redface:


Heresy! Ritz Crackers provides us a means to reach the peanut buttery goodness. It is through daily Ritz Crackers that allow us to become close and experience the fullness of the chunky butter.

[buflineks]

I think I found out why LD is so upset about this. His last three threads he started in the Religion forum only net 92 posts. Where as this single thread (sponsored by the Catholic Comedy Corp) now has 92 posts with this reply.

Could it be a little jealousy?:think:

[HardHammer]

I don't know how Biblical it is, but I sure like, Jiff preferably...

[Citizen]

I don't know how Biblical it is, but I sure like, Jiff preferably...


Good man! Afterall, "choosy moms chose Jiff."

Of course I'm a dad but you get the idea.

[HardHammer]

I think I found out why LD is so upset about this. His last three threads he started in the Religion forum only net 92 posts. Where as this single thread (sponsored by the Catholic Comedy Corp) now has 92 posts with this reply.

Could it be a little jealousy?:think:

Peanut butter over serious intellectual religious discussion, Hmmm, i'll take peanut butter every time, LOL...

[PaleoPaul]

I don't know how Biblical it is, but I sure like, Jiff preferably...
Nah, Peter Pan peanut butter beats all of them.

[buflineks]

Why HH, you little culinary thrill seeker you..............:mrgreen:

[Socrates]

I think I found out why LD is so upset about this. His last three threads he started in the Religion forum only net 92 posts. Where as this single thread (sponsored by the Catholic Comedy Corp) now has 92 posts with this reply.

Could it be a little jealousy?:think:
He's still steamed because nobody fell for his scheme to play puppet master a while back.

[Citizen]

Nah, Peter Pan peanut butter beats all of them.


Bah! It's Peter Pan not St. Peter!

[HardHammer]

Why HH, you little culinary thrill seeker you..............:mrgreen:

I am quite the cook, I love Cajun Food, not as much as Jesus, but it's a close second...

[buflineks]

I am quite the cook, I love Cajun Food, not as much as Jesus, but it's a close second...

Thanks for the reminder, I gotta beg mom to make up some red beans and rice this weekend.

[vir doctus]

I am quite the cook, I love Cajun Food, not as much as Jesus, but it's a close second...

Jesus loved Cajun food?

[vir doctus]

Thanks for the reminder, I gotta beg mom to make up some red beans and rice this weekend.

How about you do something for her instead of asking her to do something for you? You know, the whole JFK thing... Try flowers, a note of thanks, some housework and something that sparkles.

[buflineks]

Jesus loved Cajun food?

Especially Crawfish Etufee.

[HardHammer]

Jesus loved Cajun food?

Why not, according to some in this forum, he roamed the US you know, The Big Easy is very accommodating...

[buflineks]

How about you do something for her instead of asking her to do something for you? You know, the whole JFK thing... Try flowers, a note of thanks, some housework and something that sparkles.

I'm installing a new oven for her this weekend. Does that count?

And my mom gets flowers on the 8th of every month "just because".

[PaleoPaul]

Why not, according to some in this forum, he roamed the US you know, The Big Easy is very accommodating...
:mrgreen:

[St.Conrad of Piacenza, KS]

Does that mean chunky is better?


depends on if you are going to eat it or take it out to a movie........... some things just differ like that.

[crystalclear]

In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts it is against the law to eat peanuts in church or to use tomatoes in making clam chowder. But it doesn't say anything about creamy peanut butter, so it must be biblical. Surely we could bring Ritz crackers to church as well.

[archangelo]

No, NO, NO!!!!!!!


It's not plural, it's singular. I am solely responsible for it. I started it. I'm to blame. Granted, The CCC joined in as well as some of my other playmates. Heck, we even gained a new convert, Citizen. He understands the value of humor.

But who cares? All I have to do is buy an indulgence and I'm off the Hook.:rolleyes:

And you've totally missed the point of this thread, I'm not mocking the Bible, I'm mocking people who take "evangilizing" way to seriously. It's humor intended to show absurdity, it's called SATIRE.

This forum is sometimes WAY TOO INTENSE. A little levity now and then about silly piddly stuff is a way for people to stop, look a things and maybe bring a smile to their face.

We have said nothing here that is "out of line" or vulger, or crude.
We're having fun. If you have a problem about that I suggest you go post in the mod forum and try to have me banned for " Mocking the bible".

But until such time, I will continue to engage in humor and try to bring smiles to the faces of my fellow members .

So, THERE!!!!!!!!!!:razz::razz::razz::razz::razz:





I disagree. When we do what we are doing, which is poking fun at the human language through which we try to understand the Word of God (with all sorts of strange results, some not so funny) we are mocking ourselves, not God or His Word. The Word of God is God's. The Bible is our "translation" of it done with His permission in response to His gift. With His help we do our best. But a little humility and self-deprecation goes a long way -- much farther than a soberness that trends to self-righteousness can take us.

[archangelo]

I think the creamy revealed the need for the chunky.
Actually, you are born chunky and to chunkiness you would return had not the Spirit not made you smooth.

[archangelo]

I thought creamy revealed the need for Ritz crackers?:wall::wall::redface:
You would, you spreadetic.:snooty:

[vir doctus]

I'm installing a new oven for her this weekend. Does that count?

And my mom gets flowers on the 8th of every month "just because".

Ovens can sparkle. Very good. It seems you do not need as much help as some men. :mrgreen:

[archangelo]

Nah, Peter Pan peanut butter beats all of them.
Not so sure...the Catholic Church has just come out with a document about that, and I'm not sure that Peter's Pan-ness will be tolerated much longer.:snooty:

[archangelo]

Why not, according to some in this forum, he roamed the US you know, The Big Easy is very accommodating...
And, after all, he was known to walk on the water...:shifty:

[archangelo]

In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts it is against the law to eat peanuts in church or to use tomatoes in making clam chowder. But it doesn't say anything about creamy peanut butter, so it must be biblical. Surely we could bring Ritz crackers to church as well.
If it's against the law in the Commiewealth of Massachusetts it must be O-TAY!

[archangelo]

Hi, Vir! Guess what? We're up WAY to early to be bouncing around this place!:dance:

[vir doctus]

Hi, Vir! Guess what? We're up WAY to early to be bouncing around this place!:dance:

We don't sleep much when my better half is on call. Can't we just put a sign on the ER entrance that says "Dr. Vir Doctus is on call, come back later so his wife can sleep."?


OK, maybe not. :mrgreen:

[buflineks]

You would, you spreadetic.:snooty:


OH! That's just wrong. It is a well known fact that I do not engage in Sola Spreadtura.

Just for that, the next time there's one heck of a specticale here on the boards, don't you be coming to me when you run out of peanut butter and crackers. :razz:

addum: and you can forget about borrowing milk also.:snooty:

[buflineks]

A little OT here ( since it's my thread I can do that)

My fingers were drunk and I misspelled "peanut". I was then chastised about it.

Then over on another thread, someone who shall remain nameless ( Lisa4catholics) misspells "Baptist". But I don't see the usual "spelling police" over there.

My feelings are hurt.:(

May all of you who chastised me run out of milk just as you finish you next "penut" butter sandwich.:razz:

[markd]

We expect it from her. It's a well known fact that Catholics can't spell or type.

[buflineks]

We expect it from her. It's a well known fact that Catholics can't spell or type.

I didn't know I'd been excommunicated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:


why didn't anyone send me a memo?

Arch, Tex, Soc, Teri, Lisa, Why didn't you guys let me know these things?!?!?!?

[vir doctus]

A little OT here ( since it's my thread I can do that)

My fingers were drunk and I misspelled "peanut". I was then chastised about it.

Then over on another thread, someone who shall remain nameless ( Lisa4catholics) misspells "Baptist". But I don't see the usual "spelling police" over there.

My feelings are hurt.:(

May all of you who chastised me run out of milk just as you finish you next "penut" butter sandwich.:razz:

I'm not employed by her to proof.

Or is this a call to war? http://www.free-smileys.org/emo/signs012.gif Well, just in case it is, here we go:

Why don't the Packers have a website?


ANSWER:They can't put three w's together :mrgreen:

[buflineks]

I'm not employed by her to proof.

Or is this a call to war? http://www.free-smileys.org/emo/signs012.gif Well, just in case it is, here we go:

Why don't the Packers have a website?


ANSWER:They can't put three w's together :mrgreen:

Sagely, Fair, Youthful, and Honourable Vir.

This was not intended for you. You are correct, you are in employ for that purpose.

That post is intended for others who shall remain nameless (Tex and others)

As always, with your guidance, hopefully, someday, I might indeed be worthy of publishing a major paper.

as for the packers comment. OY! YOU"RE SO RIGHT!:((:((

[vir doctus]

Sagely, Fair, Youthful, and Honourable Vir.

This was not intended for you. You are correct, you are in employ for that purpose.

That post is intended for others who shall remain nameless (Tex and others)

As always, with your guidance, hopefully, someday, I might indeed be worthy of publishing a major paper.

as for the packers comment. OY! YOU"RE SO RIGHT!:((:((

My humble apologies. And, I can see war will be no fun with you so just get yourself a Kleenex and shape up.

[buflineks]

My humble apologies. And, I can see war will be no fun with you so just get yourself a Kleenex and shape up.


You evidently didn't see the post yesterday about the Vikings/Packers and superbowls.:whistle:

[vir doctus]

You evidently didn't see the post yesterday about the Vikings/Packers and superbowls.:whistle:

Being a historian doesn't mean I live in the past. Your team would do well to adopt the same perspective and get Grandpa out of the QB position. :mrgreen:

[buflineks]

Being a historian doesn't mean I live in the past. Your team would do well to adopt the same perspective and get Grandpa out of the QB position. :mrgreen:

Well, you're right, with Farve in there now, we'll never win ANOTHER superbowl.........................................

What's the Vikings excuse?:mrgreen:

[buflineks]

What's the Vikings excuse?:mrgreen:

Not enough Creamy Peanut Butter?

[texan_rep]

Sagely, Fair, Youthful, and Honourable Vir.

This was not intended for you. You are correct, you are in employ for that purpose.

That post is intended for others who shall remain nameless (Tex and others)

As always, with your guidance, hopefully, someday, I might indeed be worthy of publishing a major paper.

as for the packers comment. OY! YOU"RE SO RIGHT!:((:((

buf...I really wasn't correcting your spelling. See, if I really set out to do that, I wouldn't have time for my real job! Ba-da-bing!

Actually, I only chimed in on your spelling because of your...ummmm...interesting misspelling of the word. And of course your explanation of that misspelling was even better. :mrgreen:

If you are still confused...drop me a PM and I will explain...

[markd]

Not enough Creamy Peanut Butter?

They trade their good players to the Cowboys.

[buflineks]

buf...I really wasn't correcting your spelling. See, if I really set out to do that, I wouldn't have time for my real job! Ba-da-bing!


He shoots............................................ ..HE SCORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mrgreen:

[vir doctus]

What's the Vikings excuse?:mrgreen:

Failure to execute a victory.

[Socrates]

We expect it from her. It's a well known fact that Catholics can't spell or type.
We can't sing either.

[Socrates]

I didn't know I'd been excommunicated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:


why didn't anyone send me a memo?

Arch, Tex, Soc, Teri, Lisa, Why didn't you guys let me know these things?!?!?!?
You've been put on double-secret excommunication.

[markd]

We can't sing either.
You guys are very good at standing and sitting tho.:mrgreen:

[Socrates]

You guys are very good at standing and sitting tho.:mrgreen:
We're best at kneeling.

[buflineks]

You've been put on double-secret excommunication.

Well, I'm not gonna sit around and take this.

Did We give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

What this calls for a really futile gester of Contempt.

LET'S DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Socrates]

Well, I'm not gonna sit around and take this.

Did We give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

What this calls for a really futile gester of Contempt.

LET'S DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

[buflineks]

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

TOGA! TOGA! TOGGAAAAA!

[Socrates]

TOGA! TOGA! TOGGAAAAA!
Cool avatar. Did you go neo-gnostic on us? No wonder you're on double secret excommunication.

[buflineks]

Cool avatar. Did you go neo-gnostic on us? No wonder you're on double secret excommunication.


Unlike those gnostics who wish to be templars, since the recent reinstatement of the Poor Knights of the Temple of Solomon, I have a better chance of becoming one, if after my parental obligations are over I should decide to dedicate myself to God and defend the Faith

[buflineks]

The really great thing, Socrates, is that I recieved my military training courtesy of the American Tax payers. I wonder if the ACLU will then sue for violation of Church and State?

[Socrates]

The really great thing, Socrates, is that I recieved my military training courtesy of the American Tax payers. I wonder if the ACLU will then sue for violation of Church and State?
You'll have to give your training back, I guess.

[markd]

The really great thing, Socrates, is that I recieved my military training courtesy of the American Tax payers. I wonder if the ACLU will then sue for violation of Church and State?

Thanks for the info, you will be receiving a call from my attorney. I have been wronged and shall seek restitution.

[Dancer]

I keep hearing about these 'Ritz' crackers. Didn't the Bible say something about 'Ritz'y stuff? :think:

[Citizen]

I keep hearing about these 'Ritz' crackers. Didn't the Bible say something about 'Ritz'y stuff? :think:


Does the Bible mention the word "trinity?" :snooty:

[Dancer]

Does the Bible mention the word "trinity?" :snooty:lol

I was more thinking along the lines of how yummy Ritz crackers are...sinfully delicious and 'rich' tasting ('specially with peanut butter).

Are you sure we are allowed to eat them? Is it allowable under the law? :shifty:

[Citizen]

lol

I was more thinking along the lines of how yummy Ritz crackers are...sinfully delicious and 'rich' tasting ('specially with peanut butter).

Are you sure we are allowed to eat them? Is it allowable under the law? :shifty:
http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=wafer&x=0&y=0

[Socrates]

lol

I was more thinking along the lines of how yummy Ritz crackers are...sinfully delicious and 'rich' tasting ('specially with peanut butter).

Are you sure we are allowed to eat them? Is it allowable under the law? :shifty:
Only if you use marshmallow Fluff along with the peanut butter.

[Dancer]

http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=wafer&x=0&y=0
Leviticus 7:12
" 'If he offers it as an expression of thankfulness, then along with this thank offering he is to offer cakes of bread made without yeast and mixed with oil, wafers made without yeast and spread with oil, and cakes of fine flour well-kneaded and mixed with oil.
Leviticus 7:11-13 (in Context) Leviticus

[Dancer]

Only if you use marshmallow Fluff along with the peanut butter.Wouldn't that make it a fluffernutter?Marshmellow, peanut butter, wafer....

I GET IT!!!!! It's the trinity! (Thump myself in the head).

[Socrates]

Wouldn't that make it a fluffernutter?Marshmellow, peanut butter, wafer....

I GET IT!!!!! It's the trinity! (Thump myself in the head).
The group I used to work with occasionally had "Fluffernutter Day" to raise money for charity. People would bring in the fixin's and set it out on a desk somewhere. Then anyone who wanted one could have a sandwich as long as they made a donation to whatever the charity was.

[Citizen]

Where does all of this leave nutella?

[Dancer]

The group I used to work with occasionally had "Fluffernutter Day" to raise money for charity. People would bring in the fixin's and set it out on a desk somewhere. Then anyone who wanted one could have a sandwich as long as they made a donation to whatever the charity was.That is really nice. I wish more places would think to do things like that...

[hardW0rk1ngM0m]

Peanut butter, mashmellows and crackers....

It is a sin to mention such things with pregnant women around!

Craving alert!!!

Gretchen

[basilisk]

Where does all of this leave nutella?:drool: Nutella. Ohh... :drool::drool::drool:

[Moral Savant]

I just didn't want to feel left out.

Any scripture to back this up?

Not sure if there is, but you spelled peanut wrong. Enough said.

[PaleoPaul]

Not sure if there is, but you spelled peanut wrong. Enough said.
Lighten up. This is a FUN thread.:rolleyes:

[Citizen]

:drool: Nutella. Ohh... :drool::drool::drool:


Oh yeah. I just scoop a spoon down in it and don't even bother with Ritz.

[centurian_trev]

what is nutella?

[Citizen]

what is nutella?


WHAT??!??!?!

http://www.nutellausa.com/

[centurian_trev]

WHAT??!??!?!

http://www.nutellausa.com/


mm.. that looks good

...nutellllllaaaa...

[Citizen]

mm.. that looks good

...nutellllllaaaa...


I'm tellin ya...go get some! You'll thank me when you do!

[buflineks]

bump just to irritate LD.:))

[Socrates]

bump just to irritate LD.:))
Mocking Lord Dreadsnore is fun, huh?

[centurian_trev]

I'm tellin ya...go get some! You'll thank me when you do!


where can it be bought? i've never heard of this stuff.

what do you do with it?

i mean, it sounds good.. but i'm not going to eat it out of a jar.

[centurian_trev]

where can it be bought? i've never heard of this stuff.

what do you do with it?

i mean, it sounds good.. but i'm not going to eat it out of a jar.


n/m... i found out

http://www.nutellausa.com/usage.htm

[basilisk]

Try this: A crepe with Breyers strawberry ice cream drenched in melted nutella.

You'll about die it's so good.

[buflineks]

Try this: A crepe with Breyers strawberry ice cream drenched in melted nutella.

You'll about die it's so good.


MMMMMMMMMMM. I can hear my arteries hardening just thinking about it.

[Citizen]

n/m... i found out

http://www.nutellausa.com/usage.htm


We put it on saltines. I get it at Wal-Mart--it's usually right next to the "penut" butter.

[centurian_trev]

We put it on saltines. I get it at Wal-Mart--it's usually right next to the "penut" butter.


lol @ "penut"


i'll have to pick some up sometime, as well as some saltines (gotta start out easy... my arteries haven't had conditioning to the crepe/nutella/ice crema level yet).... maybe i'll do so this weekend.

[basilisk]

lol @ "penut"


i'll have to pick some up sometime, as well as some saltines (gotta start out easy... my arteries haven't had conditioning to the crepe/nutella/ice crema level yet).... maybe i'll do so this weekend.Also, you could try it with some fresh strawberries, fresh apples, fresh bananas, fresh...well, most fruits. Oh, and pancakes! It's wonderful on pancakes.

[vir doctus]

Also, you could try it with some fresh strawberries, fresh apples, fresh bananas, fresh...well, most fruits. Oh, and pancakes! It's wonderful on pancakes.

Just tell us how many shares of their stock you own... :mrgreen:

[centurian_trev]

Also, you could try it with some fresh strawberries, fresh apples, fresh bananas, fresh...well, most fruits. Oh, and pancakes! It's wonderful on pancakes.


i tell you the truth:

my local wal-mart does not sell nutella.

[Socrates]

i tell you the truth:

my local wal-mart does not sell nutella.
Knowing wal-mart, someone probably stocked it next to the squirrel feeders.

[vir doctus]

Knowing wal-mart, someone probably stocked it next to the squirrel feeders.

Verily! Frustrate the logical - send them to Sprawl Mart.

[basilisk]

Just tell us how many shares of their stock you own... :mrgreen:It's too much of an oddity product for me to invest any significant amount, but I like it. It's yummy.

[vir doctus]

It's too much of an oddity product for me to invest any significant amount, but I like it. It's yummy.

So were computers 30 years ago... :think:

[vir doctus]

NUTELLA'S INGREDIENTS

Sugar, vegetable oils, hazelnuts (13%), cocoa, milk, skimmed-milk powder (5%), milk proteins, lecitine (emulsifying agent), natural flavours.

[basilisk]

So were computers 30 years ago... :think:Are you suggesting that Nutella could create as favorable an economic shock as the information age has done?

:think: I'm considering the possibility...

[vir doctus]

Are you suggesting that Nutella could create as favorable an economic shock as the information age has done?

:think: I'm considering the possibility...

If you continue to sing its praises as you have been, I have no doubt it will rake in large profits.

[archangelo]

If you continue to sing its praises as you have been, I have no doubt it will rake in large profits.
In an attempt to return this thread to its original intent:

Nutella is simply another example of how that highest form of human intelligence, the Italian, has taken an idea concocted by others as a mere human experience and transformed it into a heavenly one (i.e., spaghetti, tomatoes, pizza),

While this transformation does indeed serve as a reminder of the glories that await us, Nutella remains a human concoction, while peanut ("penut" in the original Aramaic) butter holds a revelatory place in the life of faith, alongside manna, water from the rock, milk, honey, wine, bread, and grape jelly.

[vir doctus]

In an attempt to return this thread to its original intent:

Nutella is simply another example of how that highest form of human intelligence, the Italian, has taken an idea concocted by others as a mere human experience and transformed it into a heavenly one (i.e., spaghetti, tomatoes, pizza),

While this transformation does indeed serve as a reminder of the glories that await us, Nutella remains a human concoction, while peanut ("penut" in the original Aramaic) butter holds a revelatory place in the life of faith, alongside manna, water from the rock, milk, honey, wine, bread, and grape jelly.

You really need to step off. Italian schmalian. Vikings - the source of all things superior. http://www.free-smileys.org/emo/signs012.gif

[archangelo]

You really need to step off. Italian schmalian. Vikings - the source of all things superior. http://www.free-smileys.org/emo/signs012.gif
La sola cosa che il vichingo ha lasciato per l'umanitá é l'immagine del "cornuto." :dance:

[vir doctus]

La sola cosa che il vichingo ha lasciato per l'umanitá é l'immagine del "cornuto." :dance:

http://bestsmileys.com/sad/4.gif

[archangelo]

http://bestsmileys.com/sad/4.gif
That smiley has made my day! :)) :)) :))

[buflineks]

It's really does my heart good to see a thread that was started for the sole purpose of making people laugh and bringing smiles to some faces with mine and others sophomoric humor to hit over 150 posts.

I want to say to each of you who have posted on this thread ( those who took it in the spirit intended, not the one who couldn't get a joke if it sprayed seltzer water in his underware) that I truely think that God is sitting upstairs looking down on this and saying, " My goodness. Even though they can't agree on a lot of things, at least they can laugh and bring happiness to each other on occasion."

Thank you all for reaffirming my faith in mankind this week. :dance::clap::hug:

[LeroyBrown]

Are you suggesting that Nutella could create as favorable an economic shock as the information age has done?

:think: I'm considering the possibility...

I thought she was saying that 30 years ago computers were yummy and I'm wondering how she knows about the declining quality of taste in PCs.

[Socrates]

I thought she was saying that 30 years ago computers were yummy and I'm wondering how she knows about the declining quality of taste in PCs.
It stands to reason. When manufacturers make their chips smaller, they aren't as satisfying anymore.


BTW, Vir, that is the SADDEST smiley I have ever seen.

[vir doctus]

BTW, Vir, that is the SADDEST smiley I have ever seen.

I was dashed - but I am bouncing back getting ready for Monday Night. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/verkleidung/costumed-smiley-082.gif

[archangelo]

It's really does my heart good to see a thread that was started for the sole purpose of making people laugh and bringing smiles to some faces with mine and others sophomoric humor to hit over 150 posts.

I want to say to each of you who have posted on this thread ( those who took it in the spirit intended, not the one who couldn't get a joke if it sprayed seltzer water in his underware) that I truely think that God is sitting upstairs looking down on this and saying, " My goodness. Even though they can't agree on a lot of things, at least they can laugh and bring happiness to each other on occasion."

Thank you all for reaffirming my faith in mankind this week. :dance::clap::hug:
Hey!! Waddayou tring to do? Kill this thread?! Cut out with this touchy-feely crud and get back to it!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

[Socrates]

I was dashed - but I am bouncing back getting ready for Monday Night. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/verkleidung/costumed-smiley-082.gif
That's going to be like watching arm-wrestling night at the nursing home.

[Socrates]

Hey!! Waddayou tring to do? Kill this thread?! Cut out with this touchy-feely crud and get back to it!!!!!!!:rolleyes:
:shhh: It's just the booze talking. It's the forum equivalent of "I love you, man!"

[vir doctus]

That's going to be like watching arm-wrestling night at the nursing home.

Grandpa is the Slacker QB...:think:

[buflineks]

The following is a sad attempt to be like Arch. The music is taken from ZZ Top's "I need you tonite".


It's one O'clock in the morning.
As the rain begins to fall.
And I know what I'm needing,
To get me through it all.
I'm needin' somone like you.
And some Creamy Peanut Butter too.

Baby, Baby, I need Ritz tonite.

[archangelo]

The following is a sad attempt to be like Arch. The music is taken from ZZ Top's "I need you tonite".


It's one O'clock in the morning.
As the rain begins to fall.
And I know what I'm needing,
To get me through it all.
I'm needin' somone like you.
And some Creamy Peanut Butter too.

Baby, Baby, I need Ritz tonite.
Not bad...if there is a problem, it's not in the verse, but in the image of peanut butter all stuck up in those ZZ Top beards...with cracker crumbs, besides.
:sick:

However, the theme of peanut butter theology is somewhat ambiguous, with the verse seeming to be applicable to either the Divine, or the Funny Little Honey. Just think of all the ado over the Song of Songs!

[Dancer]

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please, join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.











The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

[julodle]

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please, join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.











The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.


LOL! :)) :)) :))

[vir doctus]

Much better than the PB discussion - thank you Fair Dancer.

[RLSH700]

Dancer that is hilarious. :)) :)) LOL!!!

[basilisk]

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.How sad! :(( :think: :drool:

[vir doctus]

How sad! :(( :think: :drool:

Honourable Earp is eyeing the dead guy! :eek:

[Socrates]

Honourable Earp is eyeing the dead guy! :eek:
Pass the butter.

[basilisk]

Pass the butter.Passes the butter to Socrates and takes the Nutella.

[vir doctus]

Passes the butter to Socrates and takes the Nutella.

Stock ticker: UP http://bestsmileys.com/money/5.gif

[archangelo]

Honourable Earp is eyeing the dead guy! :eek:
Yet, though he stand guard, still will the scone be rolled aside and the bread shall rise again!

[Socrates]

Yet, though he stand guard, still will the scone be rolled aside and the bread shall rise again!
Is that why churches are built facing yeast?

[archangelo]

Is that why churches are built facing yeast?
of course...and why we pray on our kneads.

[Socrates]

of course...and why we pray on our kneads.
ad doughrientum

[archangelo]

ad doughrientum
Concedo!:hand:

[Socrates]

Concedo!:hand:

:silenced:

[Dancer]

of course...and why we pray on our kneads.I don't get the yolk... :think:

[Hadassah]

Oh, this looks like fun. I'll have to read all 22 pages when I get home.


Is creamy peanut butter Biblical? Probably not. Neither is crunchy. However, I seem to recall that the Apostles(have to look back in history and read the Church Fathers for evidence of this) prefered Crunchy peanut butter. :cool:

[eaglewings]

I believe in Acts, St Peter was shown all the foods in the world that they were good to eat, thus both chunky peanut butter and smooth peanut butter are approved for consumption. So saith Saints Scippius and Jifius.

[terri910]

I am so glad someone bumped this.....

I love classic CCC...:))

[basilisk]

I like peanut butter, so the gospel according to earp proclaims it good eats!

[Fire Watch]

3rd Jibaro 4:13

But anything of the field that does causeth the bowels to be stopped, of it thou shall not eat, for it is adomination unto me.


infidels

[Lisa4Catholics]

I just didn't want to feel left out.

Any scripture to back this up?:)) :)) :)) :)) :))

[republicanprincess]

Oh, this looks like fun. I'll have to read all 22 pages when I get home.


Is creamy peanut butter Biblical? Probably not. Neither is crunchy. However, I seem to recall that the Apostles(have to look back in history and read the Church Fathers for evidence of this) prefered Crunchy peanut butter. :cool:

Nope you are wrong. The Aplostles were more fond of creamy peanut butter than crunchy. :razz:

[Hadassah]

Peanut butter is an affront to the Jelly gods of the sky!

What is this blasphemy you speak?


Amen, sister! Preach it!

[KAOSKTRL]

I dont think so It has the word Butt in it

[KAOSKTRL]

In fact the entire word is filthey and should be changed

[terri910]

I dont think so It has the word Butt in it
pea
nut
butt
er


This is not good. Not good at all. :eek:

[Hadassah]

Nope you are wrong. The Aplostles were more fond of creamy peanut butter than crunchy. :razz:


What are your sources for that? :razz:


This thread is hilarious! :))

[Fire Watch]

1 Jibaro 6:10

I shall not tolerate peanut butter without the crunch of the nut, for is not wholesome.

11: Yea it is even as an abomination unto Jibaro, for to forsake the crunch is to deny the nut.

12: If ye deny the nut, then ye deny me, and ye shall surely constipate.

ALL HAIL!!

[buflineks]

Recent discovery of the Nut Terbutter texts from the ancient gnostic writers clearly defines that though peanut butter is biblical, the greatest schism was over chunky v. creamy.

In the Gospel of Jiff, gnostic writters proclaimed that chunky was indeed first used by Christ during his youth. Since he was not Ashkenazic there was no restriction on legumes during the Pesach.

Now in the 2nd century, Skippus of Antioch, wrote the famous Adversus Chunkes in which the scriptural debate against chunky peanut butter was found.

In the 4th century Peter Panathasius of Smartaleca wrote the Nutella Creed that is the basis of creamitarian doctrine.

[Dancer]

Recent discovery of the Nut Terbutter texts from the ancient agnostic writers clearly defines that though peanut butter is biblical, the greatest schism was over chunky v. creamy.

In the Gospel of Jiff, gnostic writters proclaimed that chunky was indeed first used by Christ during his youth. Since he was not Ashkenazic there was no restriction on legumes during the Pesach.

Now in the 2nd century, Skippus of Antioch, wrote the famous Adversus Chunkes in which the scriptural debate against chunky peanut butter was found.

In the 4th century Peter Panathasius of Smartaleca wrote the Nutella Creed that is the basis of creamitarian doctrine.Well, since Jiff isn't canon, we can eat it for edification, but not consider it without fault. I believe Skippy supported that assertion. My understanding of the Jellical texts were the most disturbing to my state of mind though. They completely countered the original taste.

I fully support the Nutella Creed. I believe it expanded upon the intentions of those who were 'in the know' and gave greater flavor to the faith.

[wayne230]

Would the Creator mind if I put a bit of jelly on my peanut butter sandwich?

[ChrisMSU]

The real question is how can chunky peanut butter be considered chunky if you can remove the chunks?

[Hadassah]

All I can say is :Chunky rules! Especially with a little marmalade!

[texan_rep]

Since this thread's been resurrected, I need to re-post my history lesson...

More History on the Question of "Chunky" vs. "Creamy"

In the mid-1500s, a German soybean farmer named Martin "Skippy" Looser complained to the authorities about the large subsidies being paid to peanut farmers in order to increase their crops. Large crops of peanuts were needed to produce the only peanut-butter in existence at the time, what we now call "chunky". These subsidies were not extended to other farmers, such as those growing soybeans.

Looser determined that if the chunks were removed from the peanut butter, smaller peanut crops could be grown, and thus subsidies to peanut farmers could be eliminated. He then began growing his own (small) crop of peanuts, and produced a different kind of peanut butter...what we now know as "creamy".

Needless to say, the peanut farmers didn't take to this too well. The leader of the worldwide peanut farmer combine, "Pope" Peter Pan, immediately pronounced "creamy" peanut butter to be "not" peanut butter, and forbade its sale in countries wishing to be friendly with the combine. He is quoted as saying, "If any man believe that peanuts belongeth not in peanut butter, let him be anasema. Pass me that banana, will you?"

[Dancer]

Since this thread's been resurrected, I need to re-post my history lesson...

More History on the Question of "Chunky" vs. "Creamy"

In the mid-1500s, a German soybean farmer named Martin "Skippy" Looser complained to the authorities about the large subsidies being paid to peanut farmers in order to increase their crops. Large crops of peanuts were needed to produce the only peanut-butter in existence at the time, what we now call "chunky". These subsidies were not extended to other farmers, such as those growing soybeans.

Looser determined that if the chunks were removed from the peanut butter, smaller peanut crops could be grown, and thus subsidies to peanut farmers could be eliminated. He then began growing his own (small) crop of peanuts, and produced a different kind of peanut butter...what we now know as "creamy".

Needless to say, the peanut farmers didn't take to this too well. The leader of the worldwide peanut farmer combine, "Pope" Peter Pan, immediately pronounced "creamy" peanut butter to be "not" peanut butter, and forbade its sale in countries wishing to be friendly with the combine. He is quoted as saying, "If any man believe that peanuts belongeth not in peanut butter, let him be anasema. Pass me that banana, will you?"Heretic. You should be over there with the even Jellicals...

;) :razz:

[texan_rep]

Heretic. You should be over there with the even Jellicals...

;) :razz:

Sacrilege! Anasema! Weak teeth! :razz:

[Fire Watch]

2 Jibaro 2:9

Only the jelly of the vine shall be mixed with the butter of the peanut, for it is good.

[texan_rep]

Yeah, and we see where Jibaro is now, don't we? :))

[Fire Watch]

All Hail!!!!! Infidel

[Dancer]

We will eat of One Butter
Creamy Almighty
Created of Peanuts and salt.
Of all things edible and inedible.

And in Nutella, only flavorful cream
begotten of the Butter before all foods
Cream of Cream
Taste of Taste
True Cream of True Cream
Flavorful, not tasteless
Being of one substance with the Butter from which it is made
who for us men
and for our enjoyment
came down from heaven
and was created from Chocolate and Hazelnuts
and was made good
For our sake it was blended under Skippy and Jiff
was blended, spread and eaten
On the third day
We had more
In accordance with the scriptures
and enjoyed it
It is eaten with pleasure in combination with toast
and we shall enjoy it forever
It's reign has no end.

We believe in Fluff
the cream and lightest of spreads
who proceedeth from the Sugar
Who with the Butter and Nutella together is desired
which was eaten by the farmers
We believe in one Universal and gifted kitchen
We acknowledge one sandwich
for those without taste
We look for the resurrection of the Fluffernutter
and the food of the kitchen to come.

[obiwanjacoby]

LOL!! That was awesome!!! http://www.joecustoms.com/board/images/smilies/bowing.gif

-PJ

[texan_rep]

We will eat of One Butter
Creamy Almighty
Created of Peanuts and salt.
Of all things edible and inedible.

And in Nutella, only flavorful cream
begotten of the Butter before all foods
Cream of Cream
Taste of Taste
True Cream of True Cream
Flavorful, not tasteless
Being of one substance with the Butter from which it is made
who for us men
and for our enjoyment
came down from heaven
and was created from Peanut Butter and Hazelnuts
and was made good
For our sake it was blended under Skippy and Jiff
was blended, spread and eaten
On the third day
We had more
In accordance with the scriptures
and enjoyed it
It is eaten with pleasure in combination with toast
and we shall enjoy it forever
It's reign has no end.

We believe in Fluff
the cream and lightest of spreads
who proceedeth from the Sugar
Who with the Butter and Nutella together is desired
which was eaten by the farmers
We believe in one Universal and gifted kitchen
We acknowledge one sandwich
for those without taste
We look for the resurrection of the Fluffernutter
and the food of the kitchen to come.

Taken directly from the King James Cookbook! (That's right...the one with all the missing pages...) :razz:

Blasphemy!!! Heresy!!!

[basilisk]

Peanut butter is to man as Nutella is to the Divine. (Yumm...) :drool:

[Dancer]

Taken directly from the King James Cookbook! (That's right...the one with all the missing pages...) :razz:

Blasphemy!!! Heresy!!!Hey, what can I say? I could probably find more evidence to back it up...

I would like to point out that NO mention of 'chunky' is made in our creed. :snooty:

[Dancer]

No response from tex on the fact there is NO mention of chunky? :snooty:

[texan_rep]

The King James Cookbook was written by some old guy with termite-ridden dentures. He took old recipes for peanut butter (and the things you can do with it) and diabolically stripped all mention of "true" peanut butter. He and Skippy Looser were buds, too. :razz:

[basilisk]

He and Skippy Looser were buds, too. :razz:And all this time I thought they were reefers... :whistle:

[texan_rep]

:doh:

No, that's just what they and their followers are smoking. :mrgreen:

[tracifish]

:doh:

No, that's just what they and their followers are smoking. :mrgreen:

Friends don't let friends smoke weed and profess to know about peanut butter...sometimes people get high and think it would be good with bacon ...

[Dancer]

Which came first, the chunky or the creamy?

http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blpeanutbutter.htm

Agricultural chemist, George Washington Carver discovered three hundred uses for peanuts and hundreds more uses for soybeans, pecans and sweet potatoes. He did start popularizing uses for peanut products including peanut butter, paper, ink, and oils beginning in 1880. (With the most famous of Carver's research taking place after he arrived in Tuskeegee in 1896.) However, Carver did not patent peanut butter as he believed food products were all a gift from god. The 1880 date precedes all the above inventors accept of course for the Incas, who were probably first. It was Carver that made peanuts a significant crop in the American south in the early 1900's. http://www.peanutbutter.com/funfacts.asp "Arachibutyrophobia" (pronounced I-RA-KID-BU-TI-RO-PHO-BI-A) is the fear of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of your mouth.http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=238514

Well, it seems that the first peanut butter was neither "creamy" nor
"chunky." Rather, it was "pasty" and "gritty."

The earliest peanut butters did not have the "creamy" texture that we
enjoy today. Rather, early peanut butters have been described as
"gritty." Creamy peanut butter was developed in the 1920s by "Skippy"
inventor Joseph Rosefield.

sources:

"In 1922, Joseph L. Rosefield began selling a number of brands of
peanut butter in California. These peanut butters were churned like
butter so they were smoother than the gritty peanut butters of the
day."
source: Peanutbutterlovers.com
http://www.peanutbutterlovers.com/history/

"In 1922, Joseph L. Rosefield developed peanut butter as we know it
today. His peanut butter was "churned" like butter making it smoother
than the gritty peanut butters of the day. It was a shelf stable
product that maintained freshness for up to one year without
refrigeration."
source: "Jif Peanut Butter" hosted by kellogg.nwu.edu
http://www.kellogg.nwu.edu/faculty/sterntha/htm/module3/8.html

"... Joseph [Rosefield] developed the hydrogenation process that
transformed peanut butter from a pasty to a creamy consistency."
source: svcn.com
http://www.svcn.com/archives/lgwt/03.21.01/obituaries-0112.html

--------------------

On the other hand, "chunky" peanut butter was not developed until the
1930s. Basically, "chunky" peanut butter is just creamy peanut butter
mixed with "peanut granules."

"In 1934, Skippy added the first chunk style peanut butter."
source: "Jif Peanut Butter" hosted by kellogg.nwu.edu
http://www.kellogg.nwu.edu/faculty/sterntha/htm/module3/8.html

"To make chunky peanut butter, peanut granules are added to the creamy
peanut butter."
source: aboutpeanuts.com
http://www.aboutpeanuts.com/every.html

"to make chunky peanut butter, the manufacturer will add peanut
granules to the creamy peanut butter. "
source: gapeanuts.com
http://www.gapeanuts.com/kids/faq.htmTherefore, in reality, creamy is orthodox.