The Cancer Thread

[Gregor]

Before my husband had lymphoma I knew very few people who had cancer and rarely talked to them in depth about it. Now I feel as if I know more than I wish I ever knew. I thought perhaps it might be beneficial to have a thread in which we could discuss the struggles we have faced either going through cancer or assisting a loved one fighting this disease.

These past few weeks more than all the others, I have been noticing what I call the "bald brigade." They are women undergoing chemo who seem to have developed this incredible strength. It could be that they're at Sloan which is very empowering, but I can't begin to describe my admiration for them and the way they have been confronting this disease. I'd really appreciate other people's observations and thoughts. Thanks!

[wwrwtw]

Gregor.
I am a female and a cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed 4 years ago with advanced squamous cell cancer of the toungue. The doctors in my state gave me little hope of survival and wanted to cut off my toungue, do radical neck surgery and remove my voice box. I went to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston for a second opinion. Thank God I did.
They put me in an experimental program. My oncologist said my cancer was a very agressive form and the treatment would have to be even more agressive.
I went thru the treatment. It was difficult. In addition to the "chemo ****tail", I went thru radiation twice a day which resulted in me losing my voice and my ability to eat for 4 months. Here I am four years later....still alive. I can speak although not too succinctly and I can eat anything I want as long as I am careful. I had to go thru therapy to learn how to speak and swallow again because the muscles were radiated so much. The radiation to my salivary glands has limited the amount of saliva they produce which results in having constant dryness in my mouth. I live with it. Not that big of a deal considering the alternative.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to the team of Drs. I had in Boston. They saved my life and have given me a quality of life I didn't think was going to be possible.
As for being bald from chemo, all I can say is hair is sooooooo overrated. I actually enjoyed being bald. It made life so much easier. Showers were shorter and I didn't have to shave my legs. It was WONDERFUL! :D
I think beling bald bothered others more than it bothered me. People would always give me that "look" when I went out without my wig. Sometimes the bandana was just easier and more comfortable.
Anyways...I told my oncologist quality of life was more important to me than quantity of time. I have had a few small bouts in the past 4 years but nothing too serious. I am back working again on a somewhat limited basis and it is good to still be able to enjoy life.

Sometimes people are so focused on the person that is ill that they forget how hard it is on those that are their support system. I have been in that position also so I understand what you are going thru, too.

[Gregor]

Gregor.
I am a female and a cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed 4 years ago with advanced squamous cell cancer of the toungue. The doctors in my state gave me little hope of survival and wanted to cut off my toungue, do radical neck surgery and remove my voice box. I went to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston for a second opinion. Thank God I did.
They put me in an experimental program. My oncologist said my cancer was a very agressive form and the treatment would have to be even more agressive.
I went thru the treatment. It was difficult. In addition to the "chemo ****tail", I went thru radiation twice a day which resulted in me losing my voice and my ability to eat for 4 months. Here I am four years later....still alive. I can speak although not too succinctly and I can eat anything I want as long as I am careful. I had to go thru therapy to learn how to speak and swallow again because the muscles were radiated so much. The radiation to my salivary glands has limited the amount of saliva they produce which results in having constant dryness in my mouth. I live with it. Not that big of a deal considering the alternative.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to the team of Drs. I had in Boston. They saved my life and have given me a quality of life I didn't think was going to be possible.
As for being bald from chemo, all I can say is hair is sooooooo overrated. I actually enjoyed being bald. It made life so much easier. Showers were shorter and I didn't have to shave my legs. It was WONDERFUL! :D
I think beling bald bothered others more than it bothered me. People would always give me that "look" when I went out without my wig. Sometimes the bandana was just easier and more comfortable.
Anyways...I told my oncologist quality of life was more important to me than quantity of time. I have had a few small bouts in the past 4 years but nothing too serious. I am back working again on a somewhat limited basis and it is good to still be able to enjoy life.

Sometimes people are so focused on the person that is ill that they forget how hard it is on those that are their support system. I have been in that position also so I understand what you are going thru, too.

Thank you for sharing that. AND Thank God for that second opinion! We decided to try a local oncologist first. He completely misdiagnosed my husband's lymphoma. He said it was Follicular, when in fact it was Diffuse B Cell. He talked about the various options with great caution, as if they were new and he would have to "figure it all out." Then he took my husband's marrow from ONE side--a real no-no since all tests should be done bilaterally. As soon as we got to Sloan, my husband was immediately put into an aggressive treatment plan by the doctor who is researching and writing the science in the area of lymphoma treatment that our LI doctor was trying to read and understand. The difference in our confidence is night and day, and while it's a haul going into the city, the hosptial is beautiful and the antithesis of depressing.

In any event, we're not sure where this will all go, but wherever it does, we will at least know we did everything possible with the best of the best.

I'm so happy for you...what an ordeal!!!!!! And you're right: Bald is beautiful....except when my husband does his Dick Cheney imitation...that freaks me out.

[AugustGem]

My father had prostate cancer that has moved into his bones. No cure, his treatments make him sick as a dog and speaking of dogs, his best friend Fritz, his dog, was run over at the beginning of the week. His treatments are being written through Sloan but treatment is in FL. I am trying to get him to switch to American Cancer Centers (I think thats what it is called) with all my research, I have heard EXCELLENT things about it. Sloan is GREAT, but my experience with them is that they are great if they are the first line of treatment, if you've started treatment elsewhere, the same luck doesn't apply. Thats why I want him to switch. It seems this American cancer place is a last resort type of place and seems to do wonders. (I read blogs and chats from cancer sites) He can't be cured, I finally get it, but from what I read, they can make his time extended but enjoyable.
My best friends father had a rare brain tumor, they couldn't operate and they gave him 3 months. He went to Stony Brook hospital who did an experimental treatment (thank God two fold, he had no insurance) and for 18 months he went to Atlantic City every other weekend, enjoyed his grandkids and still drove before he passed.
Jon-Bennet Ramseys mother (no opinion of guilt or innocence here) had stage 4 ovarian cancer, she got experimental treatment from Duke, she was on the vurge of death and came back to live another 15 years, dying of a completely different cancer
As long as my father, your husband, Jeny and anyone else is breathing, there is hope. I tell everyone that. With every breath, there is life and miracles can happen.

[AugustGem]

Gregor.
I am a female and a cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed 4 years ago with advanced squamous cell cancer of the toungue. The doctors in my state gave me little hope of survival and wanted to cut off my toungue, do radical neck surgery and remove my voice box. I went to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston for a second opinion. Thank God I did.
They put me in an experimental program. My oncologist said my cancer was a very agressive form and the treatment would have to be even more agressive.
I went thru the treatment. It was difficult. In addition to the "chemo ****tail", I went thru radiation twice a day which resulted in me losing my voice and my ability to eat for 4 months. Here I am four years later....still alive. I can speak although not too succinctly and I can eat anything I want as long as I am careful. I had to go thru therapy to learn how to speak and swallow again because the muscles were radiated so much. The radiation to my salivary glands has limited the amount of saliva they produce which results in having constant dryness in my mouth. I live with it. Not that big of a deal considering the alternative.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to the team of Drs. I had in Boston. They saved my life and have given me a quality of life I didn't think was going to be possible.
As for being bald from chemo, all I can say is hair is sooooooo overrated. I actually enjoyed being bald. It made life so much easier. Showers were shorter and I didn't have to shave my legs. It was WONDERFUL! :D
I think beling bald bothered others more than it bothered me. People would always give me that "look" when I went out without my wig. Sometimes the bandana was just easier and more comfortable.
Anyways...I told my oncologist quality of life was more important to me than quantity of time. I have had a few small bouts in the past 4 years but nothing too serious. I am back working again on a somewhat limited basis and it is good to still be able to enjoy life.

Sometimes people are so focused on the person that is ill that they forget how hard it is on those that are their support system. I have been in that position also so I understand what you are going thru, too.

Thank you, you give hope to everyone. I have tears in my eyes, always share your story, you never know when someone you share it with may share it with someone who needs it.

[Gregor]

As long as my father, your husband, Jeny and anyone else is breathing, there is hope. I tell everyone that. With every breath, there is life and miracles can happen.

Absolutely!!! And every day new and advanced discoveries are being made. When my husband was first diagnosed he didn't want to tell people at work because he didn't want them to talk about "cancer boy." By being very open about his illness, he has learned that there are MANY cancer "boys" out there, and the more you talk about it, the more empowered and in control you feel. I'm sorry Sloan has not proved favorable for your husband. There are so many good cancer hopsitals and oncologists that if one isn't right, it doesn't pay to stay with it. Sending many, many healing thoughts your way.

[jwil59]

My MIL is fighting colon cancer right now. her lower body is burnt up from the radiation and they have posponed her last chemo treatment til next week. My wife traveled home today Georgia where her mother lives and we are both amazed by her bravery. My wife said she thought her mother was handling the whole thing extremly well but what was actually happening is her mother was just not complaining. She's a brave soul and I appreciate all the prayers ans support we have recieved from the posters here at hannity.

[JenyEliza]

Absolutely!!! And every day new and advanced discoveries are being made.

Absolutely!

When my husband was first diagnosed he didn't want to tell people at work because he didn't want them to talk about "cancer boy."

I debated about how much and *who* to tell about my illness in the beginning for similar reasons too. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Pity is useless and does nothing for anyone.

By being very open about his illness, he has learned that there are MANY cancer "boys" out there, and the more you talk about it, the more empowered and in control you feel.

I have found the more I talk about it, the more I learn. And like you and your husband, I keep running into people who have had the same type of tumor and been cured, or knew someone else who did.

I'm sorry Sloan has not proved favorable for your husband.

Sloan has an excellent record, they are leaders in their field(s).

My kind of tumor is almost always benign (ie, for those not in on the lingo--it's not cancerous), but Sloan is one of the preeminent centers researching, treating and curing people of these kinds of pituitary tumors.

Even though this tumor isn't likely cancerous, it is wreaking great havoc on me--mind, body and soul right now. Massive headaches, horrific mood swings, dangerously high blood pressure, osteoporisis and bone pain, difficulty with short-term memory, severe fluid retention, blah blah. You get the picture--it's gotta come out, cuz it can't stay!!!

I am still in the testing stage--we don't have final confirmation on the size and/or location of the tumor. We just know I have a tumor somewhere in my body that secretes steroids/hormones. Depending on the size and location, we will know where to go for treatment. There are *very* few places that specialize in treating these kinds of tumors in the US, and I'll be darned if I'm going to let just *anyone* dig around in my brain. ;)

Fortunately, Sloan is one of the options.

There are so many good cancer hopsitals and oncologists that if one isn't right, it doesn't pay to stay with it.

Absolutely excellent advice! When serious illness strikes, it's very important to assemble a team of professionals you trust with your life. Because that is what you are doing--entrusting your life to that team. If a doctor's approach to your illness doesn't feel right--change doctors--until you find one that is a good fit.

Sending many, many healing thoughts your way.

As do I.

[repchick]

I have breat cancer and getting the best care you can is important.I got my second opinion at U.V.A. I ended up getting all my surgery and treatment locally only because their findings where the same, as was the course of treatment.I have had wonderful care here . I have a friend that has advanced lung cancer and she goes to Cancer Treatment Centers of America because they offer treatments she can't get anywhere else.

My heart goes out to you because this can be a very stressful time.

I Will be keeping you and your husband in my prayers.:pray:

[Gregor]

Fortunately, Sloan is one of the options.



If you do end up at a NYC or LI hospital please let me know. I am not that far away and I've become an expert cheerleader and second set of ears. That is SO key. Early on we were told that my husband would forget everything he was told when consulting, which seemed just ridiculous. It wasn't. So many times I caught things he was either confused about or misunderstood or just forgot....and more than that....the doctor has come to rely on me as well. He recently had forgotten about a PET scan my husband had as did my husband. Not only did I remember, but told him the numbers. It's key to have an advocate with you when you're dealing with something so emotionally taxing.

[Gregor]

I have breat cancer and getting the best care you can is important.I got my second opinion at U.V.A. I ended up getting all my surgery and treatment locally only because their findings where the same, as was the course of treatment.I have had wonderful care here . I have a friend that has advanced lung cancer and she goes to Cancer Treatment Centers of America because they offer treatments she can't get anywhere else.

My heart goes out to you because this can be a very stressful time.

I Will be keeping you and your husband in my prayers.:pray:

Thank you so much. The same to you. Please keep me posted on your progress.

[JenyEliza]

If you do end up at a NYC or LI hospital please let me know. I am not that far away and I've become an expert cheerleader and second set of ears. That is SO key. Early on we were told that my husband would forget everything he was told when consulting, which seemed just ridiculous. It wasn't. So many times I caught things he was either confused about or misunderstood or just forgot....and more than that....the doctor has come to rely on me as well. He recently had forgotten about a PET scan my husband had as did my husband. Not only did I remember, but told him the numbers. It's key to have an advocate with you when you're dealing with something so emotionally taxing.

Thank you! :hug:

Your offer is *very* generous, and I just might take you up on it if I end up in the Big Apple. Right now everything is very much up in the air. I'll let you know how things go.

There is the possibility of doing everything locally--as we have a Neuroendocrinologist and a Neurosurgeon who work together at Emory University and they specialize in pituitary tumors. They have an excellent reputation and I have been in touch with several of their (cured) patients to speak with them about their experiences. So that may be where I go. Don't really know yet. We're still doing all the necessary testing before we can really think about surgery yet.

Wherever I go, I will make sure I have a *very* high comfort level with the whole team of professionals. There are many areas of the body where a surgical error is not good--but you can come back from it and recover.

However, brain surgery isn't one of those areas. The surgeon who works on me will have all of his/her bone fides checked out to the "Nth degree". There's no room for mistakes when it comes to the brain. ;)

[JenyEliza]

So many times I caught things he was either confused about or misunderstood or just forgot....and more than that....the doctor has come to rely on me as well.

Of course I am *not* surprised. Your irritating ability to remember even minutae has come to your husband's rescue. ;) :D

He recently had forgotten about a PET scan my husband had as did my husband. Not only did I remember, but told him the numbers. It's key to have an advocate with you when you're dealing with something so emotionally taxing.

You're absolutey right about having an advocate, a hand-holder and someone to take notes for you.

I am fortunate that my mother is an RN and if push comes to shove, she will take time off from work to act in this capacity. We've discussed this possibility, but we're trying hard not to put the horse before the cart. At this time we don't think it's necessary. Probably will be later down the road as we approach surgery.

Since she lives 500 miles away from me, I currently report in to her by phone after my appointments and she is welcome to call my doctor's office and speak to them directly in case I don't know all the answers to her questions. I have given them written permission to speak with her.

[repchick]

If you do end up at a NYC or LI hospital please let me know. I am not that far away and I've become an expert cheerleader and second set of ears. That is SO key. Early on we were told that my husband would forget everything he was told when consulting, which seemed just ridiculous. It wasn't. So many times I caught things he was either confused about or misunderstood or just forgot....and more than that....the doctor has come to rely on me as well. He recently had forgotten about a PET scan my husband had as did my husband. Not only did I remember, but told him the numbers. It's key to have an advocate with you when you're dealing with something so emotionally taxing.

You are so right about having a second set of ears. As a patient sometimes you just go on overload.I have my husband,my SIL and A close friend that go with me.My husband goes to all my doctors appointments. My SIL went with me to all my chemo treatments and my friend fills in whenever needed. It never hurts to take a pad and pencil either.Write down questions you want to ask beforehand that way you don't forget. I also kept a list of my chemo drugs in case I had to go to the doctor or the ER for somethimg non-cancer related.

I'm having a PET scan next week ? I haven't had one of them before and I was wondering what to expect?

[JenyEliza]

I'm having a PET scan next week ? I haven't had one of them before and I was wondering what to expect?

I don't know about PET scans, but I sure hope they won't treat you to any Banana flavored barium milkshakes. :mrgreen: :dance:

Hope you had a great Mother's Day today. :hug:

Jen

[wwrwtw]

I'm having a PET scan next week ? I haven't had one of them before and I was wondering what to expect?

PET Scans are like a CT Scan. No biggie. In my case they injected me with radioactive glucose and made me lay still for about 45 minutes then put me thru a CT Scan like machine. The glucose adheres to any cancerous tumors if there are any. I have them once a year now to make sure I am clean.

[repchick]

Thanks for the info.WW it doesn't sound bad at all.

[repchick]

See Jeny no milkshakes for me.:dance:

Thank You I did have a nice Mothers Day.I hope you did as well.:hug:

[Gregor]

Thanks for the info.WW it doesn't sound bad at all.

I think my husband's only complaint is the fluid they made him drink, but I'll double check. Also they give you this card to show so that if you set off radiation detectors--like at tunnels and such-- they let you pass through. I know....totally weird! Maybe that's only in NYC?

OH and don't move or fidget. It can give false readings. Anyway, I'll check with him on any other info he might have.

[repchick]

I had a radioactive tracer injected into my breasts before my mastectomy. This is for the sentinal node dissection. It's injected and then a weight is put on your chest that pushes it into the lymph nodes. They have a probe they run along your armpit that locates the first node so they don't have to surgically look for it . Then they can continue using the probe to locate additional nodes for removal. Saves alot of cutting. I had to lie still and not figit.I didn't get a card in case I set off anything .

I hope I don't have to drink anything nasty at least they haven't given me anything. I hope WW right.

I hope and pray everything works out with the shots they are giving Mr.Gregor.:pray:

[wwrwtw]

I think my husband's only complaint is the fluid they made him drink, but I'll double check. Also they give you this card to show so that if you set off radiation detectors--like at tunnels and such-- they let you pass through. I know....totally weird! Maybe that's only in NYC?

OH and don't move or fidget. It can give false readings. Anyway, I'll check with him on any other info he might have.

They don't give me anything to drink....just the injection. It kind of freaked me out the first time they brought in the vile totally encased in lead (at least I think it was lead).
It may depend on what area they are looking at. In my case it is my head and neck. Once it was my lungs as my oncologist saw something on an x-ray and wanted to make sure it wasn't a cancerous spot. It turned out to be nothing.

No card about radioactivity but I live about an hour and a half south of Boston so there is nothing to pass through that would be considered "threat worthy".

The hardest part for me is trying to lay totally still for a long period of time.
They suggest I take something that makes me sleepy if I think I may have a difficult time staying still. I took my oxycontin for the first one because I was nervous and didn't really know what to expect. Now when I have them I am fine so I don't need anything.

[Gregor]

ww:
That could be. My husband's tumor is right smack in the middle of the chest. I will ask him when I get home to tell me more about what they did with him, but you're absolutely right, there is nothing to fear with a PET. The only reason I know he had to drink it was he was complaining about it this time, and to make matters worse, the lowering of his levels resulted in a urinary tract infection...while this is odd in men, his was caused by some kind of ecoli infection from within his own bowels. He was really uncomfortable, especially with all the fluid from the PET, but as soon as they started him on antibiotics and transfused him, he was immediately better. This all had nothing to do with the PET, just his low levels.

[olympian2004]

The one thing missing in all this talk about surviving cancer is the recovery and even taking out the cancer itself with excellent nutrition.

A basic simple plan that anyone can do.

Completely eliminate alcohol, drugs and / or cigarettes (cigars) from your life FOREVER. If you drink wine then eat grapes instead. You get the benefit WITHOUT the deadly alcohol.

Juice at least 5 times a week and during the initial recovery from a traumatic event such as cancer do it everyday, or twice a day in the first few months. I'd recommend these two, but there are many possibilities:

Carrot, apple, red beet, parsley
Carrot, kale, spinach, celery, collard greens, parsley

Each day have a handful of raisins and at least two type of nuts (sunflower, pecans, walnuts, almonds).

Have a fruit plate every day:

Banana slices, kiwi slices, strawberries (or other fruit in season like blueberries, mango), grapefruit wedges, orange wedges

Have a good source of protein with rice each day. Baked fish, chicken breast, etc.

Have one or two yogurts everyday. There are soy based varieties for the folks who are lactose intolerant.

Get an excellent nutritional supplement like the one I've been using since 1992, Super Blue Green Algae.

Available at:
http://www.simplexityhealth.com/

I'd also recommend a high quality calcium supplement.

And finally get your body in motion at least three to four times a week. Their are many sports, games and other activities like hiking to get that heart pumping.

Anyway, just some excellent ideas that I know work based on my own experience of never having to face this type of situation (AND never will) and observing others who have made an easy full recovery from a life threatening disease like cancer.

When I hear about someone like Gregor's husband it makes me want to drop what I'm doing, get in my 4Runner, drive to wherever the person is and implement and oversee this recovery process that I've highlighted even if it takes a few months of my time.

---

[jwil59]

My MIL has colon cancer and has been taking chemo and radiation. She is burnt to a crisp from the radiation and they posponed her last chemo treatment because of that. The first few weeks on treatments went fine but now she is terribly sick and there are huge open sores from the radiation burns. It's really sad but we are praying these treatments will get rid of the tumor.

[wwrwtw]

My MIL has colon cancer and has been taking chemo and radiation. She is burnt to a crisp from the radiation and they posponed her last chemo treatment because of that. The first few weeks on treatments went fine but now she is terribly sick and there are huge open sores from the radiation burns. It's really sad but we are praying these treatments will get rid of the tumor.

The burn sores from radiation are the WORST but they WILL heal.
I had open oozing sores on my neck from ear to ear. I think I was sicker from the radiation than I was from chemo. I went to radiation twice a day. I have a huge scar on my neck from it.
Burn cream seemed to soothe it a little.
If she has some I suggest applying it liberally and often. If she doesn't you should ask for a prescription for some. I know how painful it can be

[olympian2004]

The burn sores from radiation are the WORST but they WILL heal.
I had open oozing sores on my neck from ear to ear. I think I was sicker from the radiation than I was from chemo. I went to radiation twice a day. I have a huge scar on my neck from it.
Burn cream seemed to soothe it a little.
If she has some I suggest applying it liberally and often. If she doesn't you should ask for a prescription for some. I know how painful it can be

Wow, your experience and the one posted by 'jwil59' is incomprehensible. Having worked at a hospital for two years I've seen people in the cancer ward who are in very bad condition, but had no idea that the suffering was as awful as you have described here.

---

[Gregor]

I had a radioactive tracer injected into my breasts before my mastectomy. This is for the sentinal node dissection. It's injected and then a weight is put on your chest that pushes it into the lymph nodes. They have a probe they run along your armpit that locates the first node so they don't have to surgically look for it . Then they can continue using the probe to locate additional nodes for removal. Saves alot of cutting. I had to lie still and not figit.I didn't get a card in case I set off anything .

I hope I don't have to drink anything nasty at least they haven't given me anything. I hope WW right.

I hope and pray everything works out with the shots they are giving Mr.Gregor.:pray:


Okay, this is what my husband said:
You receive an injection of a radioisotope, and have to drink about a quart of a reflective chemical that interacts w/ the radio isotope. You wait about 45 minutes, and then they bring you into what looks like an MRI machine. It
pulls you through in five minute increments and then you're done. For his abdomen and chest it took around 25 minutes. He said it's a lot like a CAT scan.

Hope that helps!

[Gregor]

The burn sores from radiation are the WORST but they WILL heal.
I had open oozing sores on my neck from ear to ear. I think I was sicker from the radiation than I was from chemo. I went to radiation twice a day. I have a huge scar on my neck from it.
Burn cream seemed to soothe it a little.
If she has some I suggest applying it liberally and often. If she doesn't you should ask for a prescription for some. I know how painful it can be

Oh dear. This is what we have to "look forward" to next week?

[Gregor]

When I hear about someone like Gregor's husband it makes me want to drop what I'm doing, get in my 4Runner, drive to wherever the person is and implement and oversee this recovery process that I've highlighted even if it takes a few months of my time.

---

I wish you could! But I really appreciate the info you've provided. I absolutely will go over your suggestions with him.

[olympian2004]

I wish you could! But I really appreciate the info you've provided. I absolutely will go over your suggestions with him.

The juicing is the biggie of all the suggestions because it the quickest way to get life promoting nutrients into the body where they are needed for healing.

Anyway, hope all goes well.

---

[wwrwtw]

I was unable to take food by mouth for 4 months so they inserted a feeding in my stomach. I lived on Ensure thru my feeding tube all that time. I was supposed to use 5 cans a day but I just couldn't put that much in me because it made me too full. I did lose some weight but did not experience too much weakness at all.
I still drink one for breakfast everyday.

[Rhonda]

I was unable to take food by mouth for 4 months so they inserted a feeding in my stomach. I lived on Ensure thru my feeding tube all that time. I was supposed to use 5 cans a day but I just couldn't put that much in me because it made me too full. I did lose some weight but did not experience too much weakness at all.
I still drink one for breakfast everyday.

Hey you...I have prayed for you and I think of you often...God Bless you :exclaim:

[Gregor]

The juicing is the biggie of all the suggestions because it the quickest way to get life promoting nutrients into the body where they are needed for healing.

Anyway, hope all goes well.

---

Well thank you! My husband was drinking juice like crazy and I yelled at him because he was gaining weight....I'll get on it right away!

[repchick]

The juicing is the biggie of all the suggestions because it the quickest way to get life promoting nutrients into the body where they are needed for healing.

Anyway, hope all goes well.

---

I'll have to try this because I have trouble getting enough nutrients . My weight is still down from chemo and I'm still somewhat weak. Maybe this will help.

[repchick]

Okay, this is what my husband said:
You receive an injection of a radioisotope, and have to drink about a quart of a reflective chemical that interacts w/ the radio isotope. You wait about 45 minutes, and then they bring you into what looks like an MRI machine. It
pulls you through in five minute increments and then you're done. For his abdomen and chest it took around 25 minutes. He said it's a lot like a CAT scan.

Hope that helps!

Thanks this does help.

[olympian2004]

I'll have to try this because I have trouble getting enough nutrients . My weight is still down from chemo and I'm still somewhat weak. Maybe this will help.

It'll help with the nutrition part of your recovery for sure. Juicing is a great way to get a high concentration of what your body needs to heal itself.

---

[Sasuke]

It'll help with the nutrition part of your recovery for sure. Juicing is a great way to get a high concentration of what your body needs to heal itself.

---

beWARE carrots. do not drink much of the juiced carrots.

unless you're into industrial methane production.

but it's still not advisable. the people you live with will thank you.

:))

[Gregor]

Okay we met with the "radiation" team today. They were very accomodating and positive, so we both felt well enough to walk around the city afterwards, just enjoying the day, something that rarely...well never...happens when we go into Sloan.

My husband will have a "team" meeting next week. They will do a CAT scan and then extensive analysis of where to radiate and how. After all of that they will being ten days of radiation, twice a day. They don't really think there will be any bad side effects. The skin irritation should be very minimal because of where the tumor is located. Phew.

I feel as if we're going in the right direction, and we certainly trust the team that is working with him, so hopefully we will have more to celebrate than just my daughter's wedding this August. Fingers crossed...toes too...arms, legs, braided hair....and such.

[rhet 2]

Okay we met with the "radiation" team today. They were very accomodating and positive, so we both felt well enough to walk around the city afterwards, just enjoying the day, something that rarely...well never...happens when we go into Sloan.

My husband will have a "team" meeting next week. They will do a CAT scan and then extensive analysis of where to radiate and how. After all of that they will being ten days of radiation, twice a day. They don't really think there will be any bad side effects. The skin irritation should be very minimal because of where the tumor is located. Phew.

I feel as if we're going in the right direction, and we certainly trust the team that is working with him, so hopefully we will have more to celebrate than just my daughter's wedding this August. Fingers crossed...toes too...arms, legs, braided hair....and such.


Bending my knees for you both, luv.

[jwil59]

Okay we met with the "radiation" team today. They were very accomodating and positive, so we both felt well enough to walk around the city afterwards, just enjoying the day, something that rarely...well never...happens when we go into Sloan.

My husband will have a "team" meeting next week. They will do a CAT scan and then extensive analysis of where to radiate and how. After all of that they will being ten days of radiation, twice a day. They don't really think there will be any bad side effects. The skin irritation should be very minimal because of where the tumor is located. Phew.

I feel as if we're going in the right direction, and we certainly trust the team that is working with him, so hopefully we will have more to celebrate than just my daughter's wedding this August. Fingers crossed...toes too...arms, legs, braided hair....and such.

I'm praying for yall. keep us updated. PM me if you have any specific prayer requests such as hurdles to cross. God bless

[Gregor]

You guys are terrific. Thank you!

[JenyEliza]

Okay we met with the "radiation" team today. They were very accomodating and positive, so we both felt well enough to walk around the city afterwards, just enjoying the day, something that rarely...well never...happens when we go into Sloan.

My husband will have a "team" meeting next week. They will do a CAT scan and then extensive analysis of where to radiate and how. After all of that they will being ten days of radiation, twice a day. They don't really think there will be any bad side effects. The skin irritation should be very minimal because of where the tumor is located. Phew.

I feel as if we're going in the right direction, and we certainly trust the team that is working with him, so hopefully we will have more to celebrate than just my daughter's wedding this August. Fingers crossed...toes too...arms, legs, braided hair....and such.

Excellent! Thank you for keeping us posted on Mr. Gregor's progress. I will say prayers for him that these treatments do the job, kill the tumor, produce a cure--and that the side effects are minimal. :pray:

:hug:

Jeny

[bella-day]

Okay we met with the "radiation" team today. They were very accomodating and positive, so we both felt well enough to walk around the city afterwards, just enjoying the day, something that rarely...well never...happens when we go into Sloan.

My husband will have a "team" meeting next week. They will do a CAT scan and then extensive analysis of where to radiate and how. After all of that they will being ten days of radiation, twice a day. They don't really think there will be any bad side effects. The skin irritation should be very minimal because of where the tumor is located. Phew.

I feel as if we're going in the right direction, and we certainly trust the team that is working with him, so hopefully we will have more to celebrate than just my daughter's wedding this August. Fingers crossed...toes too...arms, legs, braided hair....and such.

Great news!

Keep us updated on his progress. More prayers going up and many positive thoughts being sent your way.

[Gregor]

Thank you both...and while you're at it...if you don't mind...could you add that he gets to see his daughter walk down the aisle...and when he does....he feels healthy? That would be the greatest wedding gift she could receive.

[bella-day]

Thank you both...and while you're at it...if you don't mind...could you add that he gets to see his daughter walk down the aisle...and when he does....he feels healthy? That would be the greatest wedding gift she could receive.

How about that he gets to walk her down the aisle?

I'm hoping for a big celebration for your entire family.

A celebration of the union of your daughter and her true love; only to be topped off by your husband's recovery.

The power of positive thinking. I'm sure it's something you stress to your students.

It's a very powerful thing.

[rhet 2]

Thank you both...and while you're at it...if you don't mind...could you add that he gets to see his daughter walk down the aisle...and when he does....he feels healthy? That would be the greatest wedding gift she could receive.

That goes without saying. Already centered in my prayers, sweet chuck.

May the day she marries be brighter, richer, more joyous, flawed by not one hint of sorrow -- triple and more than the day you both first held her in your arms so many years ago.

[scipio337]

I had no idea Mrs. Samsa, my prayers for your husband and family.

I'm a 10 year survivor (diagnosed at 23) of malignant melanoma. The most important thing to me was being treated like I was before, not as a "sick person". Nothing would get me angrier or more self-pitying than my family coddling me or tiptoeing around the issue.

Congrats on the wedding!

[Gregor]

Sheesh...you all sure know how to make a girl cry! Cry happy.

Well today we got some news....I don't want to put the carriage before the cart, but when the news SEEMS good, we accept it as such!

Originally he was scheduled for 10 days of radiation, twice a day, followed by the heavy dose of chemo and his stem cell transplant. And that followed by a recovery period in the hospital of anywhere from two weeks to four weeks.

They've now decided to give him the radiation once a day for twenty days, and then they will wait until after the wedding for the chemo/stem cell treatment.

Yesterday meeting with the radiation specialist was particularly comforting. He said that it's not unusual for a small area to hang on to cells after the generalized chemo. My husband's cancer has gone from being present in his spleen and a tumor in his chest the size of a softball to not in the spleen and a nub sized tumor with some concentrated activity. The radiation specialist believes that the radiation could elminate it, or as he called it "sterilize the area" so that cancer will never grow back there. It's possible that our oncologist wants to see how this goes before deciding if my husband even needs the additional chemo. We'll know next week.

Anyway, the point is, that the radiation has very few side effects and they are all minor and temporary, so with your prayers....I am confident my husband will walk her down the aisle...and brace yourselves....WITH HAIR!!!

[rhet 2]

Sheesh...you all sure know how to make a girl cry! Cry happy.

Well today we got some news....I don't want to put the carriage before the cart, but when the news SEEMS good, we accept it as such!

Originally he was scheduled for 10 days of radiation, twice a day, followed by the heavy dose of chemo and his stem cell transplant. And that followed by a recovery period in the hospital of anywhere from two weeks to four weeks.

They've now decided to give him the radiation once a day for twenty days, and then they will wait until after the wedding for the chemo/stem cell treatment.

Yesterday meeting with the radiation specialist was particularly comforting. He said that it's not unusual for a small area to hang on to cells after the generalized chemo. My husband's cancer has gone from being present in his spleen and a tumor in his chest the size of a softball to not in the spleen and a nub sized tumor with some concentrated activity. The radiation specialist believes that the radiation could elminate it, or as he called it "sterilize the area" so that cancer will never grow back there. It's possible that our oncologist wants to see how this goes before deciding if my husband even needs the additional chemo. We'll know next week.

Anyway, the point is, that the radiation has very few side effects and they are all minor and temporary, so with your prayers....I am confident my husband will walk her down the aisle...and brace yourselves....WITH HAIR!!!


You got my prayers for exactly that! This is excellent news. Hang in there.

[JenyEliza]

That goes without saying. Already centered in my prayers, sweet chuck.

I thought it went without saying too. I'm envisioning Mr. Gregor walking his beautiful daughter down the aisle on her special day.

May the day she marries be brighter, richer, more joyous, flawed by not one hint of sorrow -- triple and more than the day you both first held her in your arms so many years ago.

Absolutely!!!! Couldn'ta said that better. :clap: :pray:

[JenyEliza]

....I am confident my husband will walk her down the aisle...and brace yourselves....WITH HAIR!!!

My ex won't even get to do that when our daughter marries, and he doesn't *have* cancer.

He is a chrome dome. Has been since his hair started falling out when we were in college. :D (he looks sort of like a 46 year old Rob Reiner).

I don't want to put the horse before the cart, either--but I have to say everything's starting to look pretty good, Mrs. Gregor.

I'll continue to pray for you all. :pray:

[bella-day]

Sheesh...you all sure know how to make a girl cry! Cry happy.

Well today we got some news....I don't want to put the carriage before the cart, but when the news SEEMS good, we accept it as such!

Originally he was scheduled for 10 days of radiation, twice a day, followed by the heavy dose of chemo and his stem cell transplant. And that followed by a recovery period in the hospital of anywhere from two weeks to four weeks.

They've now decided to give him the radiation once a day for twenty days, and then they will wait until after the wedding for the chemo/stem cell treatment.

Yesterday meeting with the radiation specialist was particularly comforting. He said that it's not unusual for a small area to hang on to cells after the generalized chemo. My husband's cancer has gone from being present in his spleen and a tumor in his chest the size of a softball to not in the spleen and a nub sized tumor with some concentrated activity. The radiation specialist believes that the radiation could elminate it, or as he called it "sterilize the area" so that cancer will never grow back there. It's possible that our oncologist wants to see how this goes before deciding if my husband even needs the additional chemo. We'll know next week.

Anyway, the point is, that the radiation has very few side effects and they are all minor and temporary, so with your prayers....I am confident my husband will walk her down the aisle...and brace yourselves....WITH HAIR!!!

It sounds like the doctor did give you guys some very positive news. I'm happy for both of you, Gregor.

Praying for the very best results.

[Gregor]

My ex won't even get to do that when our daughter marries, and he doesn't *have* cancer.

He is a chrome dome. Has been since his hair started falling out when we were in college. :D (he looks sort of like a 46 year old Rob Reiner).

I don't want to put the horse before the cart, either--but I have to say everything's starting to look pretty good, Mrs. Gregor.

I'll continue to pray for you all. :pray:

:wall: :wall: :wall: I did write carriage before the cart didn't I? A combo of a sip of Sambucca, working til 7 on the lit.mag with a room full of students, and an Italian born mother who never took the time to learn and then teach me American adages!

:doh:

My husband has what I call a yamukah spot in the center of his head. Before the chemo he was REALLY thinning, but when his hair came back in it seemed to cover more area. Hair can go through a lot of changes from chemo. Some people with straight hair say they get wavy hair or wavy to straight. Some have a color change. Some who are balding suddenly aren't! My husband's hair came back fine and soft.

[bella-day]

:wall: :wall: :wall: I did write carriage before the cart didn't I? A combo of a sip of Sambucca, working til 7 on the lit.mag with a room full of students, and an Italian born mother who never took the time to learn and then teach me American adages!

:doh:

My husband has what I call a yamukah spot in the center of his head. Before the chemo he was REALLY thinning, but when his hair came back in it seemed to cover more area. Hair can go through a lot of changes from chemo. Some people with straight hair say they get wavy hair or wavy to straight. Some have a color change. Some who are balding suddenly aren't! My husband's hair came back fine and soft.

One of my co-workers is being treated for spinal cord cancer.

She had the most beautiful straight, dark hair prior to her initial treatment. She became part of the bald brigade you have spoken of in this thread.

Her hair came back very curly and a shade or two lighter to boot.

[Gregor]

One of my co-workers is being treated for spinal cord cancer.

She had the most beautiful straight, dark hair prior to her initial treatment. She became part of the bald brigade you have spoken of in this thread.

Her hair came back very curly and a shade or two lighter to boot.

Isn't that sooo strange??

Here is what I can't understand: My husband managed to lose the hair on his head, his beard, and even those few strays sticking out of his ears...why, then, can't he lose those two tarantulas sitting above his eyes?! (AND he won't let me wax....):eek:

[bella-day]

Isn't that sooo strange??

Here is what I can't understand: My husband managed to lose the hair on his head, his beard, and even those few strays sticking out of his ears...why, then, can't he lose those two tarantulas sitting above his eyes?! (AND he won't let me wax....):eek:


Men are funny about wax and tweezers.

You just reminded me of a commercial that tickles me every time I see it. Have you seen the one about the man being fired? He asks his boss if it's the beard comb over.

You don't even get to see who the boss is talking to before the guy asks. It's hilarious.

Hey...there's an idea. You could suggest to your husband that it he keeps up with the eyebrow growth it could be the source of a brand new type of comb over.;)

[Gregor]

Men are funny about wax and tweezers.

You just reminded me of a commercial that tickles me every time I see it. Have you seen the one about the man being fired? He asks his boss if it's the beard comb over.

You don't even get to see who the boss is talking to before the guy asks. It's hilarious.

Hey...there's an idea. You could suggest to your husband that it he keeps up with the eyebrow growth it could be the source of a brand new type of comb over.;):)) :)) :)) The visual is fantastic!!!!!

[repchick]

Isn't that sooo strange??

Here is what I can't understand: My husband managed to lose the hair on his head, his beard, and even those few strays sticking out of his ears...why, then, can't he lose those two tarantulas sitting above his eyes?! (AND he won't let me wax....):eek:

When I had my chemo I lost the hair on my head all my body hair ,eyelashes and eyebrows.I was as smooth as a babies bottom all over. You do look weird without eyebrows and eyelashes. I just got my first hair cut since Nov. 05 .My hair came back darker and I have wavy hair now.My hair was always straight.

They make electric eyebrow trimers that could get control of those tarantulas.They work fairly well .My eyebrows came back in growing every which way . On a women that just wouldn't do.

I"m so glad to hear Mr. Gregors cancer is responding to treatment. It is a blessing.
I'll keep you in my prayers. :pray:

[JenyEliza]

Isn't that sooo strange??

Here is what I can't understand: My husband managed to lose the hair on his head, his beard, and even those few strays sticking out of his ears...why, then, can't he lose those two tarantulas sitting above his eyes?! (AND he won't let me wax....):eek:

My bald ex-husband also has pet tarantulas he will not allow anyone to tidy up, and it looks like our son will one day follow in his path. :( :))

[lsue]

I just finished reading this whole thread, and really didn't realize
that so many on the Hannity board was facing such battles with
cancer. But what just amazes me about each and every one of
you, is your positive attitudes. It's truly amazing.

I wish the very best to every one of you and the ones you love.

Hang in there!

Linda

[lsue]

The one thing missing in all this talk about surviving cancer is the recovery and even taking out the cancer itself with excellent nutrition.

A basic simple plan that anyone can do.

Completely eliminate alcohol, drugs and / or cigarettes (cigars) from your life FOREVER. If you drink wine then eat grapes instead. You get the benefit WITHOUT the deadly alcohol.

Juice at least 5 times a week and during the initial recovery from a traumatic event such as cancer do it everyday, or twice a day in the first few months. I'd recommend these two, but there are many possibilities:

Carrot, apple, red beet, parsley
Carrot, kale, spinach, celery, collard greens, parsley

Each day have a handful of raisins and at least two type of nuts (sunflower, pecans, walnuts, almonds).

Have a fruit plate every day:

Banana slices, kiwi slices, strawberries (or other fruit in season like blueberries, mango), grapefruit wedges, orange wedges

Have a good source of protein with rice each day. Baked fish, chicken breast, etc.

Have one or two yogurts everyday. There are soy based varieties for the folks who are lactose intolerant.

Get an excellent nutritional supplement like the one I've been using since 1992, Super Blue Green Algae.

Available at:
http://www.simplexityhealth.com/

I'd also recommend a high quality calcium supplement.

And finally get your body in motion at least three to four times a week. Their are many sports, games and other activities like hiking to get that heart pumping.

Anyway, just some excellent ideas that I know work based on my own experience of never having to face this type of situation (AND never will) and observing others who have made an easy full recovery from a life threatening disease like cancer.

When I hear about someone like Gregor's husband it makes me want to drop what I'm doing, get in my 4Runner, drive to wherever the person is and implement and oversee this recovery process that I've highlighted even if it takes a few months of my time.

---



These SUPER foods are great. I've been on this plan since being
diagnosed with macular degeneration last August, and the vision in
my left (dry) eye has responded so favorably. Wish the right one
(wet, retina leaking) would benefit from it. But no promise there.

My daughters best friend had a re-occurance of breast cancer and
was all prepared to do a second surgery with chemo/radiation up till
about 4 weeks ago. Get this. She orders a bloodroot/black salve
plus a yellow salve. Used these sort of like a poultice. Dated post
it notes, took pictures and this stuff actually "pulled" two "somethings"
(she says its the two tumors) out of her breast. Actually there were
some very small things that came out too. Sloughed off daily. She
thinks these could have been more cancer cells. I saw pictures of
this myself. I know her. I know what she's been through. This
really happened. I have never seen anything like this in my life, and
I would have pooh poohed it if I didn't know her personally. I pulled
up some info about it, and this stuff has been used for centuries in
other countries. It "supposedly" works on skin cancers, moles, warts,
skin tags, etc. I'm even thinking of ordering some to put on little
pre-cancerous things I pay a fortune for a dermatologist to freeze off
for me.

I just googled "blood root black salve cancer treatment".

[repchick]

Isue, DONT USE THAT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE





www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/Cancer/eschar.html

[Gregor]

When I had my chemo I lost the hair on my head all my body hair ,eyelashes and eyebrows.I was as smooth as a babies bottom all over. You do look weird without eyebrows and eyelashes. I just got my first hair cut since Nov. 06 .My hair came back darker and I have wavy hair now.My hair was always straight.

They make electric eyebrow trimers that could get control of those tarantulas.They work fairly well .My eyebrows came back in growing every which way . On a women that just wouldn't do.

I"m so glad to hear Mr. Gregors cancer is responding to treatment. It is a blessing.
I'll keep you in my prayers. :pray:

I wish there was a pictoral on women going through chemo. I swear, losing hair gives them a strength, a power, a beauty...I just can't describe. Maybe I project a little, but I am "good with vibes" and I can feel them coming into their own in a way women who haven't faced the struggles you've faced, sometimes don't, won't, can't....hard to explain. Does that make sense at all?

[Gregor]

My bald ex-husband also has pet tarantulas he will not allow anyone to tidy up, and it looks like our son will one day follow in his path. :( :))

awwwww....teach him to pluck!!! I have to say though...I HATE those overly "groomed" metro brows men are now sporting. There is something between tarantulas and Bette Davis eyes!

[lsue]

Isue, DONT USE THAT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE





www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/Cancer/eschar.html (http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/Cancer/eschar.html)





I saw that article when I was googling the salve. I saw many
other articles with huge successes. Skin cancer in particular.

I guess desperation will cause people to consider just about any-
thing when they believe their lives are in the balance. Black salve
has a very long benign history in medicine, so I would think if any-
thing, it would just be ineffective. I pray I hear good news from
her very soon.

[repchick]

I wish there was a pictoral on women going through chemo. I swear, losing hair gives them a strength, a power, a beauty...I just can't describe. Maybe I project a little, but I am "good with vibes" and I can feel them coming into their own in a way women who haven't faced the struggles you've faced, sometimes don't, won't, can't....hard to explain. Does that make sense at all?

What you say does make sense. The first time I walked into that chemo room I didn't know what to expect. My husband and the tech. adjusted my recliner and the tech. started my IV.After that I started to relax and look around the room .I was setting in a group with three other women . They started chatting to me as if they knew me personally and I guess in a way they did . They were seeing a reflection of themselves.I knew a that point I was becoming part of something I can only discribe as a sisterhood.
They gave me advice and helped ease my fears . My hair fell out 2 weeks after my first treatment and I became one of those women. It is almost like a right of passage . It is as if the physical fasade is gone and vanity is out the window and you are free to be who you really are.
There were women like me that had already had their mastectomies ,we helped and comforted the ones that had their surgery pending.The ones that were being treated form a recurrence were comforting and and offering advice to all of us .
Yes, it is a sisterhood and it effects many aspects of your life. It makes you reach out to total strangers and try to comfort them . I think it makes you more sensitive to peoples problems. I guess we've learned to laugh at ourselves and find humor and comfort in the most unexpected places.
Maybe this can explain the vibes you are feeling.

I hope all is well with Mr. Gregor. :pray: :pray: :pray:

[rhet 2]

What you say does make sense. The first time I walked into that chemo room I didn't know what to expect. My husband and the tech. adjusted my recliner and the tech. started my IV.After that I started to relax and look around the room .I was setting in a group with three other women . They started chatting to me as if they knew me personally and I guess in a way they did . They were seeing a reflection of themselves.I knew a that point I was becoming part of something I can only discribe as a sisterhood.
They gave me advice and helped ease my fears . My hair fell out 2 weeks after my first treatment and I became one of those women. It is almost like a right of passage . It is as if the physical fasade is gone and vanity is out the window and you are free to be who you really are.
There were women like me that had already had their mastectomies ,we helped and comforted the ones that had their surgery pending.The ones that were being treated form a recurrence were comforting and and offering advice to all of us .
Yes, it is a sisterhood and it effects many aspects of your life. It makes you reach out to total strangers and try to comfort them . I think it makes you more sensitive to peoples problems. I guess we've learned to laugh at ourselves and find humor and comfort in the most unexpected places.
Maybe this can explain the vibes you are feeling.

I hope all is well with Mr. Gregor. :pray: :pray: :pray:

Those who have endured, as you have, know yourselves to be tough -- and that shows those of us who have not yet endured that we, too, are tougher than we know: if you can endure, so can we.

And, that, I think is the "aura" of strength that we sense from you and Gregor and Jeny. That is the strength you give to me, anyway. The knowledge that I too can endure -- and laugh while doing it. :hug:

[repchick]

Comming form you Rhet that is one of the highest compliments I could ever recieve.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[jwil59]

What you say does make sense. The first time I walked into that chemo room I didn't know what to expect. My husband and the tech. adjusted my recliner and the tech. started my IV.After that I started to relax and look around the room .I was setting in a group with three other women . They started chatting to me as if they knew me personally and I guess in a way they did . They were seeing a reflection of themselves.I knew a that point I was becoming part of something I can only discribe as a sisterhood.
They gave me advice and helped ease my fears . My hair fell out 2 weeks after my first treatment and I became one of those women. It is almost like a right of passage . It is as if the physical fasade is gone and vanity is out the window and you are free to be who you really are.
There were women like me that had already had their mastectomies ,we helped and comforted the ones that had their surgery pending.The ones that were being treated form a recurrence were comforting and and offering advice to all of us .
Yes, it is a sisterhood and it effects many aspects of your life. It makes you reach out to total strangers and try to comfort them . I think it makes you more sensitive to peoples problems. I guess we've learned to laugh at ourselves and find humor and comfort in the most unexpected places.
Maybe this can explain the vibes you are feeling.

I hope all is well with Mr. Gregor. :pray: :pray: :pray:

This is one of the best posts I have ever read.......God bless you.

[Gregor]

What you say does make sense. The first time I walked into that chemo room I didn't know what to expect. My husband and the tech. adjusted my recliner and the tech. started my IV.After that I started to relax and look around the room .I was setting in a group with three other women . They started chatting to me as if they knew me personally and I guess in a way they did . They were seeing a reflection of themselves.I knew a that point I was becoming part of something I can only discribe as a sisterhood.
They gave me advice and helped ease my fears . My hair fell out 2 weeks after my first treatment and I became one of those women. It is almost like a right of passage . It is as if the physical fasade is gone and vanity is out the window and you are free to be who you really are.
There were women like me that had already had their mastectomies ,we helped and comforted the ones that had their surgery pending.The ones that were being treated form a recurrence were comforting and and offering advice to all of us .
Yes, it is a sisterhood and it effects many aspects of your life. It makes you reach out to total strangers and try to comfort them . I think it makes you more sensitive to peoples problems. I guess we've learned to laugh at ourselves and find humor and comfort in the most unexpected places.
Maybe this can explain the vibes you are feeling.

I hope all is well with Mr. Gregor. :pray: :pray: :pray:
This gave me the chills. We too expected to find this ominous experience, but being at Sloan everyone is in the same boat, and so, in many regards, it's like we're all in the army fighting together against the enemy that is cancer. There are times that it's scary or challenging and you just want to go back to the way it was when you didn't have that fight, but there are not choices, so you unite and charge forward.

I noticed a big difference between the women who put scarves around their heads and those with wigs. The women with wigs tend to be older, and certainly there is NO shame in donning a wig. I suspsect many women do when they are outside of Sloan. But withint its confines the majority tie scarves around their heads, heads which are held very high, and they do indeed exude a strength unlike I've ever seen in anyone before.

This weekend I was at a graduation party talking to a woman who lost her child to cancer many years ago. I recognized in this mother, now a grandmother, that fierce quality of a female fighter. She moved her family to Maryland because at that time Sloan didn't have a cancer unit for children, but Johns Hopkins did. She was a single mother of four, who had owned a business she closed, to get her child the best care she could. It seems to me that there is a well from which this mysterious force is drawn, call it God or faith or just the human will, but this woman is still fighting that battle for her child, even though the child passed long ago.

What I enjoy reading most in your posts is the strength you exude. You've been to hell, a hell many people will be visiting even though they may not konw it yet, and you have found a will to share with others what you found there and have found on that journey out of that woeful center. It's key to me to talk about it and talk about it openly. Again, others may not know what tomorrow could bring the same diagnosis but when they do, your message will matter more than they could ever have imagined.

I have been very upfront with my students all along the way. One day one of my students said, "I don't know how you do it. I would fall apart." And I said to her, "No you wouldn't. You just don't know it yet, and I hope you never will. But you would "do it" too. And you would have your moments, but you would not fall apart." I think this has been almost as important a lesson to share with them as the English I teach. The big "C" doesn't have to destroy you. It can be conquered, and even if ultimately it leads to the end of your life, it may take your body but it doesn't have to take your soul.

[Gregor]

Those who have endured, as you have, know yourselves to be tough -- and that shows those of us who have not yet endured that we, too, are tougher than we know: if you can endure, so can we.

And, that, I think is the "aura" of strength that we sense from you and Gregor and Jeny. That is the strength you give to me, anyway. The knowledge that I too can endure -- and laugh while doing it. :hug:

Early on a fellow patient at Sloan told my husband that Cancer hates laughter, and we have been laughing ever since.

[repchick]

I hope what I posted will help someone that is going through this process and give insight to people who haven't had to go down that path. It's a time for soul searching and self evaluation. What was so important before becomes very insignificant.

I wore straw golfing hats tilted to the side to show a little attitude. :)) The wigs are just too hot and I knew that wasn't for me . Whatever a person chooses as headcovering is a personal choice.

[Gregor]

I hope what I posted will help someone that is going through this process and give insight to people who haven't had to go down that path. It's a time for soul searching and self evaluation. What was so important before becomes very insignificant.

I wore straw golfing hats tilted to the side to show a little attitude. :)) The wigs are just too hot and I knew that wasn't for me . Whatever a person chooses as headcovering is a personal choice.

Exactly. Each finds his/her own way to cope...but I do like yours!!!!!:cool:

[JenyEliza]

Those who have endured, as you have, know yourselves to be tough -- and that shows those of us who have not yet endured that we, too, are tougher than we know: if you can endure, so can we.

And, that, I think is the "aura" of strength that we sense from you and Gregor and Jeny. That is the strength you give to me, anyway. The knowledge that I too can endure -- and laugh while doing it. :hug:

I'm not feeling particularly strong or jovial the last couple of days, so you can probably strike me off that little list there, missy. :naughty:

This journey is not all fun, although fun can be found if you look hard enough.

Tonight (or this morning, I should say) I just need a vacation from all of this nonsense. A vacation in a bottle is the best I can manage, and so in a moment I am going to dip into the meds my doctor has generously prescribed and take a little 4 hour vacation from the mess we call my life. Just enough vacation to rest my bones and then get up and start all over again when I get the kids up and take them to school.

Life...God didn't promise fair. Just interesting. And in my case, He's kept His promise and made my life WAY more interesting than He needed to. ;)

Thanks for the kind words and the compliments. I don't deserve them, and now I'm a weary weeping mess who is going to take that vacation in a bottle!! :mrgreen:

:hug:

Jeny

[Gregor]

I'm not feeling particularly strong or jovial the last couple of days, so you can probably strike me off that little list there, missy. :naughty:

This journey is not all fun, although fun can be found if you look hard enough.

Tonight (or this morning, I should say) I just need a vacation from all of this nonsense. A vacation in a bottle is the best I can manage, and so in a moment I am going to dip into the meds my doctor has generously prescribed and take a little 4 hour vacation from the mess we call my life. Just enough vacation to rest my bones and then get up and start all over again when I get the kids up and take them to school.

Life...God didn't promise fair. Just interesting. And in my case, He's kept His promise and made my life WAY more interesting than He needed to. ;)

Thanks for the kind words and the compliments. I don't deserve them, and now I'm a weary weeping mess who is going to take that vacation in a bottle!! :mrgreen:

:hug:

Jeny What specifically is making right now so rough. I know the MRI. I know the illness itself. All that is more than enough. Is it coming to a head, is it frustration, is there more? Talk it through...if you want to. :hug:

[Dreamy]

Those who have endured, as you have, know yourselves to be tough -- and that shows those of us who have not yet endured that we, too, are tougher than we know: if you can endure, so can we.

And, that, I think is the "aura" of strength that we sense from you and Gregor and Jeny. That is the strength you give to me, anyway. The knowledge that I too can endure -- and laugh while doing it. :hug:


Very well stated Rhet.

Gregor,prayers for your husband and yourself and your entire family. :pray:

I am truly humbled reading these stories. God bless you all.

[lsue]

I hope what I posted will help someone that is going through this process and give insight to people who haven't had to go down that path. It's a time for soul searching and self evaluation. What was so important before becomes very insignificant.

I wore straw golfing hats tilted to the side to show a little attitude. :)) The wigs are just too hot and I knew that wasn't for me . Whatever a person chooses as headcovering is a personal choice.




One of the local news anchors here in Tulsa, a couple of years ago,
went through breast cancer. She made a reality show of sorts out
of it. From the chemo room, to home movie of her husband shaving
her head out in the back yard. I think he shaved his also. It was
very interesting. And she always has the biggest, brightest smile
on her face that you can imagine. She appears to be living life to
the fullest extent possible. I'm sure she gave real hope to a lot of
viewers going through the same battle.

[Gregor]

Just aggravation.

So we met with the oncologist today. We thought that the news would be good. It wasn't. It wasn't bad, but not good either, but what I'm getting frustrated with is the half information. I want to know everything fully, and while I understand they don't know much of the time, there are things they do know...for instance, that the goal of the last two r-chops was to get a PET back with a 0 reading. So, even though a 4 sounded good to us, coming down from a 17, it was meaningless. Next week is the liver biopsy and radiation starts. Then the doctor said that what he would be doing wasn't optimal, but he was adjusting for our daughter's wedding. We asked if my husband should just miss it, and he said, "No. I don't think it will make a difference." Think. Maybe. Could be. We'd hoped. Blah, blah, blah. Absolutes, buddy, we need absolutes, and if that absolute is death, let us know now so we can take a freaking trip to New Zeland.

Thank you for letting me rant.

[bella-day]

Just aggravation.

So we met with the oncologist today. We thought that the news would be good. It wasn't. It wasn't bad, but not good either, but what I'm getting frustrated with is the half information. I want to know everything fully, and while I understand they don't know much of the time, there are things they do know...for instance, that the goal of the last two r-chops was to get a PET back with a 0 reading. So, even though a 4 sounded good to us, coming down from a 17, it was meaningless. Next week is the liver biopsy and radiation starts. Then the doctor said that what he would be doing wasn't optimal, but he was adjusting for our daughter's wedding. We asked if my husband should just miss it, and he said, "No. I don't think it will make a difference." Think. Maybe. Could be. We'd hoped. Blah, blah, blah. Absolutes, buddy, we need absolutes, and if that absolute is death, let us know now so we can take a freaking trip to New Zeland.

Thank you for letting me rant.

The frustration must be overwhelming. Although you and I disagree on a variety of political subject I feel we have much in common.

I'm one that is better suited to having all the information before me so I can roll it around in my head and make what I feel is the best decision. From what you just posted I can see you feel the same way.

Have faith Gregor. You and your family are in our prayers.

Rant when you need to or just want to. We are here for you when you need a shoulder to lean on.

[repchick]

Gregor ,they all become talking heads after a while. I simpathize with you It has to be very frustrating. It looks like they could have given you better info.. Maybe they will be able to tell you more after the biopsy.

You all Have my Prayers :hug: :hug:

[JenyEliza]

Just aggravation.

So we met with the oncologist today. We thought that the news would be good. It wasn't. It wasn't bad, but not good either, but what I'm getting frustrated with is the half information. I want to know everything fully, and while I understand they don't know much of the time, there are things they do know...for instance, that the goal of the last two r-chops was to get a PET back with a 0 reading. So, even though a 4 sounded good to us, coming down from a 17, it was meaningless. Next week is the liver biopsy and radiation starts. Then the doctor said that what he would be doing wasn't optimal, but he was adjusting for our daughter's wedding. We asked if my husband should just miss it, and he said, "No. I don't think it will make a difference." Think. Maybe. Could be. We'd hoped. Blah, blah, blah. Absolutes, buddy, we need absolutes, and if that absolute is death, let us know now so we can take a freaking trip to New Zeland.

Thank you for letting me rant.

I've got nothing for you or Mr. Gregor--except to send my love and hugs. I feel your frustration...vent away.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Isn't it weird how we all need to vent--but it's never really at the same time? It's like we're on an invisible schedule we don't know about--it just works that when one of us is doing OK, one's just treading water, and one just isn't OK and needs vent away, yada yada. We're here for you!

Let me know if I can help, OK?

Love & hugs,

:hug:

Jen

[rhet 2]

Just aggravation.

So we met with the oncologist today. We thought that the news would be good. It wasn't. It wasn't bad, but not good either, but what I'm getting frustrated with is the half information. I want to know everything fully, and while I understand they don't know much of the time, there are things they do know...for instance, that the goal of the last two r-chops was to get a PET back with a 0 reading. So, even though a 4 sounded good to us, coming down from a 17, it was meaningless. Next week is the liver biopsy and radiation starts. Then the doctor said that what he would be doing wasn't optimal, but he was adjusting for our daughter's wedding. We asked if my husband should just miss it, and he said, "No. I don't think it will make a difference." Think. Maybe. Could be. We'd hoped. Blah, blah, blah. Absolutes, buddy, we need absolutes, and if that absolute is death, let us know now so we can take a freaking trip to New Zeland.

Thank you for letting me rant.

Rant on.

I asked my brother-in-law, who's a retired oncologist, about why docs do this. He says they're most of them convinced patients are too stupid or too emotionalized to understand or accept the hard facts. They're also terrified of being wrong. He said once a patient demanded how long he had to live. Bro told him that stats showed an average of 2 months. He sold his business, etc., and, to avoid inheritance taxes, gave most of what he had to his kids. When he was still alive two years later, he sued my bro for lying to him and telling him he only had 2 mos.The malpractice insurance company settled out of court -- with a subsequent hike in premiums to the docs,of course.

I told bro. he and his fellows were out of their gourds. Like you, I want it straight up -- simple, but straight, without all the gobbledy-gook technospeak.

[Gregor]

So...believe it or not I woke up thinking about this thread and how much I ranted yesterday. I went back and read what I wrote and realized I still feel exactly the same way.

Here's what's been going on.

The doctor at Sloan has a study group for a treatment that has been very successful. My husband could not be placed in the group because a routine blood test turned up that the Hep C. HUH? WHA? There really is only one way to get Hep C, and that's blood to blood, like intravenous drug users. Considering that we almost didn't get married because of my husband's fear of needles and the fact that he needed a blood test, that ruled out the number one cause of Hep C. Other causes? The barber. The manicurist. Sloppy dentists. In short, who knows? Additionally, 20% of Hep C cases NEVER have known cause. We finally "guessed" that it was from one of two minor surgeries my husband had before they screend for Hep C. He wasn't told he was transfused, but specifically with his knee surgery he might have been. So, suddenly he wasn't in the study group. But then the great news, the doctor decided to treat him the same as the study group patients anyway. We were thrilled. This is the best of the best and he was getting a treatment that had a highly successful cure rate (87%)!!!

R-Chop is a type of chemo that is given. Normally they will give you 6 R-Chop. But this doctor gave him 4 R Chop and then 3 ICE (another mixture of chemicals) treatments. After the 4th R Chop my husband's PET had gone from a 28 ( a reading revealing very active cancer) to a 2.8 (a reading that might have meant the cancer was gone.) BUT after the ICE, his PET was up again. It was 5.4. The doctor was baffled and ordered a biopsy, which confirmed that the "nub" (my husband's tumor shrank from a softball size to a nub) had active cells. Next he schedule a PET scan, and sure enough--the activity had gone up to a 17. That meant the ICE had done nothing. His cancer is sensitive to R-Chop, but not ICE. (Sensitive means it responds.)

Okay, so the doctor ordered two more R-Chop treatments. That's all my husband can have. 6 treatments per patient. Then his plan was do another PET, then follow that up with radiation, then a transplant, which involved heavy duty chemo and the return of my husband's own stem cells which were harvested months ago, to help him regain his strength. That's what we were told. Period.

The R-Chop was done, and his number was 4. We figured that was good news. The cancer was going down, right? Then the doctor rescheduled his radiation. It was going to be twice a day for ten days, but he changed it to once a day for 20. We figured that meant he wanted to see what was up before giving him the heavy duty chemo. Maybe this meant things were improving. My husband asked the nurse who called with this info and she said, "Sounds right," but since we never heard from the doctor, we didn't know any different. We're not fools, and we don't cling to false hope, but we are smart enough to know that the condition of your mind helps your healing, so we do try to stay as positive as possible. And when the doctor told us recently, after the cancer was clearly still present that there are only two chances to cure my husband's lymphoma and the odds of it working were 50/50 and he believed my husband would fall in the upper 50%, meaning he would be cured, we used that as the "energy" to stay up. Again, not ignorant of the fact of what 50/50 means, but not maudlin and despondent either. Oh, I forgot one other thing. When we met with the radiation specialist he said it isn't uncommon for some cells to hang on and that radiation goes in and destroys them leaving the "site" sanitized." This sounded right and very positive, so coupled with all the other facts we had we thought we were finally making GOOD progress.

Then the appointment yesterday. The vibe was odd, and I don't like that. I felt as if the Fellow and our doctor were NOT on the same page, and the Fellow who is as smart as our doctor seemed to be evasive in his answers. I didn't think it was because the Fellow didn't want to "hurt our feelings," I believed it was because he was disagreeing with some of what our doctor is doing. That's complete speculation on my part, but it's founded on a comment he made last visit. We were talking about the study group and the Fellow said, "Yes, the group did respond, but only four in the group had your situation..."

Then our doctor came in. He said, "Let me tell you straight out, the R-Chop failed. It did absolutely nothing. You have to understand that. The purpose of the R-Chop was to get a 0 reading, the cancer is still there, it's a 4, but it will grow." His demeanor was completely the opposite of all the other times we've seen him. It was obvious that the Fellow had told him we thought things were improving and he wanted to squelch that idea right away. Okay. Then he said, that the way we are proceeding is not opitmum, but that he doesn't think it will make a difference, although he doens't know, but he's doing it for the wedding. I said, "I would prefer my husband skip the wedding and get cured." He said, "Go to the wedding. I don't think it will make a difference if we wait a little bit after the radiation before we do the stem cell transplant." The answers were abrupt. He said that he needed to see the liver biopsy because he didn't want to overtax my husband's system and cause him to become very sick, which he could. He wanted the radiation once a day instead of twice because he didn't want him to get too taxed, he wasn't sure his system could handle it and he didn't want him to be very sick. (I know...he repeated himself.) Then he said, that would take us to the beginning of July and since the wedding is in the beginning of August, he felt the sct could wait until after that. He, the doctor, would be around and if ANYTHING came up, he'd be there to help us and not to worry about it. Then my husband asked, "If the radiation works, would we still need to do the transplant?" And he said, "Yes. Because there would still probably be microscopic cells in your body." Okay, so far fine, albeit disconcerting...and then this....

My husband said, "Since we know the R-Chop worked and the ICE didn't, should we have just stayed with the R-Chop instead of stopping it for the ICE." The doctor said, "That's a very good question. The answer is: I don't know. There is no way of telling."

Now in that I do appreciate his honesty...BUT....one of the FEW things that has kept ME going in this (I can work w/ my husband, but that also requires me to stay as up as possible) has been that we are getting the best of the best, and if it doesn't work, at least we know we gave it the best fight possible. Suddenly, he had singlehandedly created tangible doubt for me. His PET was a 2.8 after 4 R-chops. That means virtually gone...because frequently any reading under a 3 is a false reading. And then the R-chop was stopped for the ICE, which did nothing.

And now that's what I can't shake. Because...I believe it would have put him in remission and then everything would have been different. Am I wrong? Could be. But based on everything I know and all the information I've gathered and the Fellow's reaction and the doctor's look, and my gut, and maybe even a little illusion and dellusion and false hope and anxiety, everything all combined, I cannot shake that.

I left feeling sick, my husband is teetering on hope and planning for his death, I have two girls I won't distress for no reason but who can't be left out in the dark, and the anxiety of knowing that the doctor isn't sure but thinks that the wait in between the radiation and wedding won't make a difference...thinks....

Worst of all, now I'm not sure I trust what he says. When he says "It's not optimum, but I THINK it's okay." Does that mean, "It's probably hopeless so enjoy the wedding"? Or does it mean exactly what he says? I am going to call him this week and ask him directly. I want information. I want truth. If the truth is: "We don't know." Then give me that. But right now I'm just not so sure.

I said to him, "I know far from the best case scenario has played out. But we aren't at the worst case scenario, yet, are we?"

He said, "We passed the first chapter, and we're into the second. We want the second chapter to be the las, because if it isn't, we're in a whole new book."

My husband asked him, "Have you gone to that book before?"

He paused and said, "Yes. You don't want to go to that book."

Then we had lunch.
Then we watched TV and at popcorn and ice cream.
Then I passed out with a feeling of dread I haven't had in months.

Liver biopsy on Tuesday.

[bella-day]

I hope you get the best news from the liver biopsy. It could be the doctor really needs the results from that test before deciding exactly what should be done. At least that is the impression I'm getting from what you have posted.

From what you have posted I can easily understand your frustration regarding the R Chop treatment. Could it be the protocol they followed was to discontinue it; use the ICE treatment and then have the option of 2 more R Chop treatments? That's the only reason I can come up with. But then that is just based on the information you have given in your post as I have no medical knowledge or first hand experience on which to base that notion.

Maybe it would be a good idea to speak with the doctor without your husband present. It's something I would consider.

Not discussing all of this with your daughters is understandable but must open a whole new conflict for you. Gregor, there has to be someone that you can speak freely in front of. You are carrying around so much right now...it can't be good for you.

I hope posting helps to relieve some of that stress. But we are here to support you and listen whenever needed.

More prayers going up.

Take care.

[Gregor]

I hope you get the best news from the liver biopsy. It could be the doctor really needs the results from that test before deciding exactly what should be done. At least that is the impression I'm getting from what you have posted.

From what you have posted I can easily understand your frustration regarding the R Chop treatment. Could it be the protocol they followed was to discontinue it; use the ICE treatment and then have the option of 2 more R Chop treatments? That's the only reason I can come up with. But then that is just based on the information you have given in your post as I have no medical knowledge or first hand experience on which to base that notion.

Maybe it would be a good idea to speak with the doctor without your husband present. It's something I would consider.

Not discussing all of this with your daughters is understandable but must open a whole new conflict for you. Gregor, there has to be someone that you can speak freely in front of. You are carrying around so much right now...it can't be good for you.

I hope posting helps to relieve some of that stress. But we are here to support you and listen whenever needed.

More prayers going up.

Take care.


Well just purging helped a lot. Then I talked to my husband which helped more, and finally, we have a list of friends and family who I keep posted, but I have a small, very close circle to whom I vented all. Already I've gotten responses from them that really helped to get me grounded again.

I'm going to share a few excerpts with you because I think you'll see just how very fortuante I am. Also, for others going through this, they will see how imperative it is that you get all that "icky" stuff out of your mind, put it apart from you, and get the perspective of others. I'm strong, but I also know when I can't go it alone. And this was one of those times. I am so happy I didn't just suppress what I was feeling and let it all out.

The girls know everything, except things like statistics and "you only get two treatments to beat this and this is your second." I see no reason to put that burden on them when everything could still turn out fine. ESPECIALLY, with my younger daughter's wedding just months away. She also is in Chicago and we're in NY, so, really, what can she do except wring her hands, and there is nothing productive in creating that scenario!

Anyway, here are some of the comments I received:
I don’t know what to say. With health and invisible evil things floating around inside a body, everything seems to be a guessing game. You HAD to try the ice because it seemed cutting edge and hopeful…you DIDN”T have a choice. What if r-chop hadn’t been as successful? —you’d be wishing you had tried the ice. You CANNOT second guess anything you’ve done…everything done was the best possible choice at the time. These evil cells are sinister and unpredictable. How spot on was that? With those comments my doubts dissipated!

When you call the doctor to clarify, he will not tell you that what he meant to say is that the case is hopeless. He is saying that life is about living, living joyously and the wedding is a most joyful moment that could lift spirits and perhaps heal as well as an r-chop. What could be more touching than a father walking his daughter down the aisle, or for that matter, HAVING a father to walk a daughter down the aisle. Again, she really gave me clarity.

Live and laugh….do what you’ve always done… His body will keep fighting, with the help of treatments because he has such beautiful people to live for….


If there were a guidebook at to what to say in a situation like this....wouldn't that be the model?!

From another friend:
OK
I know that sickening feeling when things are not optimum and the news is ambiguous. I can't tell you to forget it because it is not easy. BUT this is my read.

Having dealt with many doctors and many dire scenarios over my life time....I have seen a trend. Doctors know a lot about the scientific aspects of their expertise and react to it. They are always guarded in what they say and predict. It is what they feel they must do. It is often disconcerting. But there is a great deal they don't know and they do not like that feeling anymore than we do. The human body is very much a machine....BUT there are too many factors that science has absolutely NO control over that make prognosis impossible and treatment difficult. Each of us is indeed UNIQUE.

I do feel the same way as you do- the what if they had done the 6 instead of the 4 and then 2. It is very understandable to be feeling that way. But please remember that while the doctors may have totally screwed up- they could have just as easily totally hit their mark. They are giving him the best treatments available and I suspect they thought his case would react best to their protocol- it just didn't. They were wrong. That said- they reduced the cancer to damn near oblivion....and THAT is what you must remember. That the cancer did respond SO IT IS NOT invincible. It CAN be stopped and they are VERY close to doing just that.

As far as missing the wedding- I am on the side of going. Not because I believe that this is hopeless- far from it. I just don't think a couple of weeks will make any difference in so far as how many more cells will be left unattended to multiply. The scientist must be relied on to give you his best guess, because that is what WE are all doing- guessing. Considering the next treatment step after the wedding- if a few more cells have grown- they will be wiped out along with those present before the wedding. That is my opinion. AND the happiness factor that he will get being there is incalculable. These are the elements that are immeasurable..... and can add to the mitigating factors that give the body that necessary intangible BOOST it needs to conclude this fight in the favorable column.

So what to do to make sure he has a favorable outcome....... It IS the mind. It is that indomitable spirit that we all have within us that can rise to the occasion when it is needed. Lance Armstrong found it and my mother found it. We have to help him find it too. Medicine will do what it will, but he must find the optimism and courage to climb out of the abyss. It is easy to feel discouraged and hopeless but it is deadly and cannot be allowed. No matter how you feel, you MUST convey a strong sense of optimism. You may indeed get the Academy Award for it- but it is vital. Lance had his mother and my mother had her children. It is like that damn spot, or clock, or picture you are supposed to focus on when you are in labor-- a tangible manifestation that assists your "survival."

After speaking with my mom about what it is that pulled her through these many bouts of cancer and "you have 3 months at most diagnoses"...there is a thread. She refused to leave us. She felt a keen sense of responsibility to be there for us and would not let anything get in the way. She had the ultimate faith in HER ability to end the threat. Of course she also indulged in what I considered witchdoctorism - sending for Holy Water from Lourdes, etc. but it was important because SHE was convinced that it would help her. So we have to find things that will help him be convinced. Yoga was one of those things that helped my mother- and if there is any way to sign him up with a yoga instructor or Ashram- I would go for it. They have an uncanny way of helping you connect with your inner energy. Today, cancer patients do visualization with psychologists- Yoga does that and more.

We will talk more--expect a bottle of Water from Lourdes in the mail.


Now...who can say that I'm not blessed?

I sincerely hope that these words of wisdom from women who have many, many struggles of their own, will help you all as much as they helped me. And thank you to you all here....Bella, Jeny, Rhet, and Rep for adding yourselves and your wisdom to my list of women worth listening to!!!

[rhet 2]

Well just purging helped a lot. Then I talked to my husband which helped more, and finally, we have a list of friends and family who I keep posted, but I have a small, very close circle to whom I vented all. Already I've gotten responses from them that really helped to get me grounded again.

I'm going to share a few excerpts with you because I think you'll see just how very fortuante I am. Also, for others going through this, they will see how imperative it is that you get all that "icky" stuff out of your mind, put it apart from you, and get the perspective of others. I'm strong, but I also know when I can't go it alone. And this was one of those times. I am so happy I didn't just suppress what I was feeling and let it all out.

The girls know everything, except things like statistics and "you only get two treatments to beat this and this is your second." I see no reason to put that burden on them when everything could still turn out fine. ESPECIALLY, with my younger daughter's wedding just months away. She also is in Chicago and we're in NY, so, really, what can she do except wring her hands, and there is nothing productive in creating that scenario!

Anyway, here are some of the comments I received:
How spot on was that? With those comments my doubts dissipated!

Again, she really gave me clarity.



If there were a guidebook at to what to say in a situation like this....wouldn't that be the model?!

From another friend:


Now...who can say that I'm not blessed?

I sincerely hope that these words of wisdom from women who have many, many struggles of their own, will help you all as much as they helped me. And thank you to you all here....Bella, Jeny, Rhet, and Rep for adding yourselves and your wisdom to my list of women worth listening to!!!


Thank you for sharing this wisdom, too. You're right: you are most blessed -- and now you've blessed us by sharing.

My Grandmama used to tell us that "Life is a banquet full of God's gifts -- and the best way to get more heaped on your plate is to see how much of what He's already given you you can scrape onto the plate of somebody with less than He's given you."

You just did that, luv. Thanks.

I am greatly ....... "cheered up" isn't the right word....... and "comforted" is too often used so it's hollow ..... maybe "uplifted"? No, encouraged..... Nope, still not right: STRENGTHENED. That's it: toughened up, made firmer, steadier on my own feet, much less shakey quakey on the inside.

Thanks. :hug:

[Gregor]

Thank you for sharing this wisdom, too. You're right: you are most blessed -- and now you've blessed us by sharing.

My Grandmama used to tell us that "Life is a banquet full of God's gifts -- and the best way to get more heaped on your plate is to see how much of what He's already given you you can scrape onto the plate of somebody with less than He's given you."

You just did that, luv. Thanks.

I am greatly ....... "cheered up" isn't the right word....... and "comforted" is too often used so it's hollow ..... maybe "uplifted"? No, encouraged..... Nope, still not right: STRENGTHENED. That's it: toughened up, made firmer, steadier on my own feet, much less shakey quakey on the inside.

Thanks. :hug:
AND THANK YOU!

I love your grandmother's saying.

It's interesting...once I purged myself of all those reverberating thoughts that were bouncing around inside my head...something I've always thought resembled holding a microphone too close to an amplifier...I felt released! No doubt, had I hung on to them and kept them to close to me, they would have continued to get louder and more discordent.

I teach writing, and I always tell my students that it's best to take those troubling thoughts, put them down on paper, and get them out of their heads to be read at a distance. It's amazing how much the light of day and bright white paper and ink can ease what seemed impossible to be soothed inside one's mind.

Ditto for letting it all out here and to my friends today.

Just now I sent my husband out for subs. I told him I had come to the conclusion that the worst thing I could do was treat him differently and act as if it's all over! SO...I asked him to make me coffee and sent him out to get dinner....now it feels as if nothing's changed!!!

THANKS AGAIN. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[rhet 2]

AND THANK YOU!

I love your grandmother's saying.

It's interesting...once I purged myself of all those reverberating thoughts that were bouncing around inside my head...something I've always thought resembled holding a microphone too close to an amplifier...I felt released! No doubt, had I hung on to them and kept them to close to me, they would have continued to get louder and more discordent.

I teach writing, and I always tell my students that it's best to take those troubling thoughts, put them down on paper, and get them out of their heads to be read at a distance. It's amazing how much the light of day and bright white paper and ink can ease what seemed impossible to be soothed inside one's mind.

Ditto for letting it all out here and to my friends today.

Just now I sent my husband out for subs. I told him I had come to the conclusion that the worst thing I could do was treat him differently and act as if it's all over! SO...I asked him to make me coffee and sent him out to get dinner....now it feels as if nothing's changed!!!

THANKS AGAIN. :hug: :hug: :hug:


Good for you!

I don't know about you, but in my heart of hearts, my girls are still 19 inches long-- though they're grown with babies of their own, they always will be -- and Cuddle Bear is still the handsome, wise, and wonderous dog who stole my heart nearly 40 years ago -- pot belly, bald head, and dentures -- these are not the man I've fought and starved and slaved with -- and adored-- for so long -- just external "stuff" that doesn't count at all, 'cause his own heart and mind are still the same -- except more so-- the exact same man who made my own heart start singing so long ago.

And, for what it's worth, since I also teach writing -- YOU GO, GIRL! Double bond, there, sweet teacher. Double bond.

One of my favorite lessons is comparison contrast based writing -- I love to have my students pretend they're buying a new car -- or, during campaign season, decide who to vote for -- by writing an essay exploring all the pros and cons and ins and outs and fors and againsts and goods and bads -- ANY decision whatsoever comes much clearer when you write about it.

In fact, in my Bible is an envelop with a little letter written to each of my beloved, telling each of them what a special blessing they have been to me, listing specific character traits that have meant so much, events that are forever glued in my memory. My son-in-law will preach my funeral when the time comes -- and is to read each of those aloud, one by one by one. I've been trying to make a special point of telling each of the children and grandkids every time we get together one thing that makes him or her special, just a brief thank you, but the letter is where I've put it all together for when the time comes.

Is that too maudlin of me? I hope not, because I want each one of them to know how thankful I am they've been part of me, but I don't want that to get in the way of our relationships in the right-now, either, because I don't want our relationships to change, not one little bit -- what we've got now is just too special exactly as it is. But, I don't think we tell each other that often enough, because life is just so full of gotta-do's, and I so want each one of them to know.........

[Gregor]

Good for you!

I don't know about you, but in my heart of hearts, my girls are still 19 inches long-- though they're grown with babies of their own, they always will be -- and Cuddle Bear is still the handsome, wise, and wonderous dog who stole my heart nearly 40 years ago -- pot belly, bald head, and dentures -- these are not the man I've fought and starved and slaved with -- and adored-- for so long -- just external "stuff" that doesn't count at all, 'cause his own heart and mind are still the same -- except more so-- the exact same man who made my own heart start singing so long ago. The girls still call around ten times a day. I just hung up with the one in Chicago because she's lost and needed me to check mapquest, while the one in NY wanted to go over the menu for her sister's shower! I fall more and more in love with my husband every year. That wasn't always the case, we went through a bumpy spell, but we came out of it better and stronger than ever. I'm so proud of him and how courageous he's been through this ordeal. Grace under pressure....that defines him.

And, for what it's worth, since I also teach writing -- YOU GO, GIRL! Double bond, there, sweet teacher. Double bond.

One of my favorite lessons is comparison contrast based writing -- I love to have my students pretend they're buying a new car -- or, during campaign season, decide who to vote for -- by writing an essay exploring all the pros and cons and ins and outs and fors and againsts and goods and bads -- ANY decision whatsoever comes much clearer when you write about it. Sound like excellent assignments!!!


In fact, in my Bible is an envelop with a little letter written to each of my beloved, telling each of them what a special blessing they have been to me, listing specific character traits that have meant so much, events that are forever glued in my memory. My son-in-law will preach my funeral when the time comes -- and is to read each of those aloud, one by one by one. I've been trying to make a special point of telling each of the children and grandkids every time we get together one thing that makes him or her special, just a brief thank you, but the letter is where I've put it all together for when the time comes.

Is that too maudlin of me? I hope not, because I want each one of them to know how thankful I am they've been part of me, but I don't want that to get in the way of our relationships in the right-now, either, because I don't want our relationships to change, not one little bit -- what we've got now is just too special exactly as it is. But, I don't think we tell each other that often enough, because life is just so full of gotta-do's, and I so want each one of them to know.........

Nope. We talk about "our plans" all the time. One time, when I flew to Vacouver for a conference, I left a lengthy good-bye note...just in case! The other day we were talking about whether to use the plots on LI or to go up to Vermont, where my husband is from. I told him I don't really want to RIP with strangers and besides, Vermont is REALLY cold. AND my husband wants a plain pine box, but I told him he has to write a note so I can nail it to his box so everyone doesn't think I was just being cheap about it!!!

Remember what I said he heard from very early on? Cancer doesn't like laughter...so laugh and laugh and laugh...if only to get even!

[rhet 2]

Remember what I said he heard from very early on? Cancer doesn't like laughter...so laugh and laugh and laugh...if only to get even!

This you help me do. :))

[CrusaderFrank]

I met a woman closely associated with John of God and he plans on coming to NYC this fall.

You should plan on seeing him when he's here. If you can't, I can put you in contact with the woman who is in Connecticut and arranges for small groups to meet John at his sanctuary in Brazil.

[Gregor]

I met a woman closely associated with John of God and he plans on coming to NYC this fall.

You should plan on seeing him when he's here. If you can't, I can put you in contact with the woman who is in Connecticut and arranges for small groups to meet John at his sanctuary in Brazil.

I meant to write back to you! That's very kind of you!

[bella-day]

Well just purging helped a lot. Then I talked to my husband which helped more, and finally, we have a list of friends and family who I keep posted, but I have a small, very close circle to whom I vented all. Already I've gotten responses from them that really helped to get me grounded again.

I'm going to share a few excerpts with you because I think you'll see just how very fortuante I am. Also, for others going through this, they will see how imperative it is that you get all that "icky" stuff out of your mind, put it apart from you, and get the perspective of others. I'm strong, but I also know when I can't go it alone. And this was one of those times. I am so happy I didn't just suppress what I was feeling and let it all out.

The girls know everything, except things like statistics and "you only get two treatments to beat this and this is your second." I see no reason to put that burden on them when everything could still turn out fine. ESPECIALLY, with my younger daughter's wedding just months away. She also is in Chicago and we're in NY, so, really, what can she do except wring her hands, and there is nothing productive in creating that scenario!

Anyway, here are some of the comments I received:
How spot on was that? With those comments my doubts dissipated!

Again, she really gave me clarity.



If there were a guidebook at to what to say in a situation like this....wouldn't that be the model?!

From another friend:


Now...who can say that I'm not blessed?

I sincerely hope that these words of wisdom from women who have many, many struggles of their own, will help you all as much as they helped me. And thank you to you all here....Bella, Jeny, Rhet, and Rep for adding yourselves and your wisdom to my list of women worth listening to!!!

You purge whenever you feel the need hun and thank you for sharing the thoughts from these women that are a very important part of your life. Friends are wonderful aren't they? They have a way of keeping us grounded.

[Gregor]

Liver biopsy tomorrow...so much depends!

[rhet 2]

Liver biopsy tomorrow...so much depends!

Prayers, luv. We shall not forget. May your fears be defeated, and your hopes confirmed, made new and strong and sure. May your fight bring you victory, sweek chuck. :pray:

Tomorrow, we call hospice for Daddy, so we can more or less warehouse the poor darling until the end comes for him. And I hate that. It is hard to stop fighting, even though there is no real hope and his best option is going home to be with the LORD. :((

But NOT for you and Mr. Gregor! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT. We shall NOT give up your cause!

[Gregor]

Prayers, luv. We shall not forget. May your fears be defeated, and your hopes confirmed, made new and strong and sure. May your fight bring you victory, sweek chuck. :pray:

Tomorrow, we call hospice for Daddy, so we can more or less warehouse the poor darling until the end comes for him. And I hate that. It is hard to stop fighting, even though there is no real hope and his best option is going home to be with the LORD. :((

But NOT for you and Mr. Gregor! NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT. We shall NOT give up your cause!

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were going through that!

My thoughts and prayers are with you....

This may not be the place for this...but I'm going to share it anyway...Today my husband running back and forth to Home Depot....I was cleaning and grading, and when he got back from the store, he was commenting on how much pollen was covering my car and how he wanted to buff it out for me. I told him that only part of the paint comes back when you buff it, as I tried to get all the color up last summer. I walked to the door, and there...beside my old 250,000 mile civic...was a brand new one...for my 50th birthday.

It's the first time he ever surprised me successfully. I STILL can't believe me. Soooo tomorrow he is riding to the doctor in style! (BTW: He traded in his car to get me mine....yes, I cried.)

[repchick]

It's the first time he ever surprised me successfully. I STILL can't believe me. Soooo tomorrow he is riding to the doctor in style! (BTW: He traded in his car to get me mine....yes, I cried.)
[/quote]

You have a gem just like me . My husband had a new car setting in the drive when we arrived back from the doctors office after my cancer diagnoses. I had prevously wrecked mine. It was useable but didn't look that great.

BTW:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :clap: :clap:

[repchick]

Liver biopsy tomorrow...so much depends!

Prayer going out :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray:

[repchick]

Tomorrow, we call hospice for Daddy, so we can more or less warehouse the poor darling until the end comes for him. And I hate that. It is hard to stop fighting, even though there is no real hope and his best option is going home to be with the LORD. :((



Rhet I know how it is to lose your Dad .I lost my Dad when I was 19 and it still hurts. My heart goes out to you . With love and many:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[rhet 2]

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were going through that!

My thoughts and prayers are with you....

This may not be the place for this...but I'm going to share it anyway...Today my husband running back and forth to Home Depot....I was cleaning and grading, and when he got back from the store, he was commenting on how much pollen was covering my car and how he wanted to buff it out for me. I told him that only part of the paint comes back when you buff it, as I tried to get all the color up last summer. I walked to the door, and there...beside my old 250,000 mile civic...was a brand new one...for my 50th birthday.

It's the first time he ever surprised me successfully. I STILL can't believe me. Soooo tomorrow he is riding to the doctor in style! (BTW: He traded in his car to get me mine....yes, I cried.)


Definitely a keeper. We're so blessed in the men we married!

[Gregor]

You have a gem just like me . My husband had a new car setting in the drive when we arrived back from the doctors office after my cancer diagnoses. I had prevously wrecked mine. It was useable but didn't look that great.

BTW:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :clap: :clap:

WOW, that is terrific!!!!!

I just can't figure out how he worked all this out in between chemo and doctor's visits. It was such a supreme act of selflessness...Go Mr. Gregor!

[rhet 2]

You have a gem just like me . My husband had a new car setting in the drive when we arrived back from the doctors office after my cancer diagnoses. I had prevously wrecked mine. It was useable but didn't look that great.

BTW:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :clap: :clap:

WOW, that is terrific!!!!!

I just can't figure out how he worked all this out in between chemo and doctor's visits. It was such a supreme act of selflessness...Go Mr. Gregor![/QUOTE]

He is worthy of your love.

But, then, you are worthy of his, too.

True mates are hard to find.

I hope your daughters' choices are as blessed as your own has been. I shall pray for this for the one whose turn at the altar is coming so soon. :hug:

[Gregor]

Definitely a keeper. We're so blessed in the men we married!

Yes we are....so sorry, though, to learn about your dad.:hug:

[rhet 2]

Yes we are....so sorry, though, to learn about your dad.:hug:

He and Mama lived for each other and for their kids -- for 60 years. They set a pattern that is hard to live up to.

True men and women who are willing to do that are rare these days, I think.

[repchick]

Definitely a keeper. We're so blessed in the men we married!

You've got that right Rhet . I thank God everyday for my husband.

[rhet 2]

You've got that right Rhet . I thank God everyday for my husband.

My Cuddle Bear, too. Funny, but I adore him now more than ever, even when we first started dating. Amazing how much wiser and more precious he's learned to be over the years, especially now that the kids are grown and its just the two of us most of the time. :))

[JenyEliza]

Definitely a keeper. We're so blessed in the men we married!

And then of course, there's me. I had to seek and marry the reject. ;)
(who, strangely, has recently turned into the nice guy I remember and fell in love with 20 years ago--maybe he thinks he's still in my will?) ;) *sigh* :))

[Gregor]

He and Mama lived for each other and for their kids -- for 60 years. They set a pattern that is hard to live up to.

True men and women who are willing to do that are rare these days, I think.

Has he been ill long? Has your mother passed? I just know the torture I went through with my mother's illness, and I really feel for you.

[JenyEliza]

True mates are hard to find.



Truer words were never spoken. *sigh* :(

[JenyEliza]

WOW, that is terrific!!!!!

I just can't figure out how he worked all this out in between chemo and doctor's visits. It was such a supreme act of selflessness...Go Mr. Gregor!

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Gregor!!

And YAY MR. GREGOR, YOU ROCK!! :clap: :clap:

[rhet 2]

Has he been ill long? Has your mother passed? I just know the torture I went through with my mother's illness, and I really feel for you.

Mama suffered a massive stroke three years ago. When the nursing home refused to give her more physical therapy, I turned my living room into a hospital room and learned how to do the massage and exercises and the feeding tube myself. Daddy sat on the couch beside her bed holding her hand for hours at a time while I cared for her. Her favorite cake was lemon chiffon, and I made dozens of them, fed her a tiny fork full at a time. She couldn't talk, but her eyes gleamed when it was time for that cake. Every year since, I've baked one on her birthday in remembrance.

She died in my arms when her kidneys finally failed. He and I sat there for the longest time just holding each other and holding her before I called for Cuddles to call for the ambulance. I never left his side for weeks and weeks afterwards. I still feel his arms around my shoulder -- and his boney old shoulders under mine.

He already had signs of Alzheimers before the stroke, but Mama was covering it up from us kids. After the funeral, I think he just stopped fighting to remember because he no longer had to care for her. Eventually, we moved him in with my oldest brother and then into a home that specializes in that horrid disease.

But, for months and months and months now, he's called me by her name, and when he'd start looking for her, or he had to be in the hospital for some reason, he'd settle down as long as I was at his side holding his hand. Perhaps it is just that he and I were together when she left us, or perhaps there is something about me that echoes her. I know many have commented on how much I look like her. It's impossible to know exactly what he's thinking.

So, it's sort of tearing me up that I can't stay with him now. I KILL for the right to be the one sponging his mouth out or rubbing ice on his lips. But San Antonio is just too far away and I've got a teaching contract. He wouldn't want me to welch on that commitment. And I know bro's every bit as caring as I would be. I shouldn't grieve like this. I know I shouldn't. But I do. I miss them both so much.

[Gregor]

Mama suffered a massive stroke three years ago. When the nursing home refused to give her more physical therapy, I turned my living room into a hospital room and learned how to do the massage and exercises and the feeding tube myself. Daddy sat on the couch beside her bed holding her hand for hours at a time while I cared for her. Her favorite cake was lemon chiffon, and I made dozens of them, fed her a tiny fork full at a time. She couldn't talk, but her eyes gleamed when it was time for that cake. Every year since, I've baked one on her birthday in remembrance.

She died in my arms when her kidneys finally failed. He and I sat there for the longest time just holding each other and holding her before I called for Cuddles to call for the ambulance. I never left his side for weeks and weeks afterwards. I still feel his arms around my shoulder -- and his boney old shoulders under mine.

He already had signs of Alzheimers before the stroke, but Mama was covering it up from us kids. After the funeral, I think he just stopped fighting to remember because he no longer had to care for her. Eventually, we moved him in with my oldest brother and then into a home that specializes in that horrid disease.

But, for months and months and months now, he's called me by her name, and when he'd start looking for her, or he had to be in the hospital for some reason, he'd settle down as long as I was at his side holding his hand. Perhaps it is just that he and I were together when she left us, or perhaps there is something about me that echoes her. I know many have commented on how much I look like her. It's impossible to know exactly what he's thinking.

So, it's sort of tearing me up that I can't stay with him now. I KILL for the right to be the one sponging his mouth out or rubbing ice on his lips. But San Antonio is just too far away and I've got a teaching contract. He wouldn't want me to welch on that commitment. And I know bro's every bit as caring as I would be. I shouldn't grieve like this. I know I shouldn't. But I do. I miss them both so much.
Of course you should grieve. My mother was always shocked by how people try to get others to cut short the grieving process. I know your father is still here, but you are experiencing a loss, in many ways more profound than even a death. To me, those feelings you are having are a testimony to what a wonderful person your dad is. If you were able to neatly secure your emotions and happily move on, it would suggest that his impact was far less profound than what it clearly was. You have been a committed, loving daughter to your parents. As blessed as you have been to have them, they have been to have you. Time will ease the grief you're feeling, but you know that. For now you have my sympathy. I'm sorry you're going through this and that these last years for your parents have been hard. No doubt it was all made easier for them, though, due to your and your brother's dedication and love.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Gregor]

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Gregor!!

And YAY MR. GREGOR, YOU ROCK!! :clap: :clap:

Thank you!!! Every year he gives me a card telling me what he's going to give me: A housekeeper, a trip to England, carpet etc.etc.etc. to the point where it's become a joke. He isn't the problem. He'd make good. The problem is, I end up not wanting to spend the money. This time, though, he decided he'd forgo the card...and I'm so glad he did!!!! It's beeeeautiful!

[rhet 2]

Thank you!!! Every year he gives me a card telling me what he's going to give me: A housekeeper, a trip to England, carpet etc.etc.etc. to the point where it's become a joke. He isn't the problem. He'd make good. The problem is, I end up not wanting to spend the money. This time, though, he decided he'd forgo the card...and I'm so glad he did!!!! It's beeeeautiful!

Thank you for understanding my grief, friend. It helps.

Isn't it strange how we spend and spend and spend on our family, but when it comes to ourselves feel guilty and fight to avoid spending at all? Just my monthly trip to the hair salon makes me feel like a spendthrift! :))

Enjoy that car, luv. You need it, and just because it is beautiful and you can think of a thousand things where the money should have been spent doesn't mean you shouldn't revel in the luxury once in a while!

Besides, think of how much joy you give Mr. Gregor in luxuriating in his gift.

Happy birthday, lady bug. May your week be filled with such happiness, repeated over and over. Especially today. :pray:

[bella-day]

WOW, that is terrific!!!!!

I just can't figure out how he worked all this out in between chemo and doctor's visits. It was such a supreme act of selflessness...Go Mr. Gregor!

Gregor,
Do we share a birthday?

New car? You are right...Go Mr. Gregor!

Enjoy, and happy belated Birthday!

[Gregor]

Gregor,
Do we share a birthday?

New car? You are right...Go Mr. Gregor!

Enjoy, and happy belated Birthday!

Well, we're both Geminis. My birthday is actually June 5th. He had been thinking about it, but since we had the long weekend, he just went for it...

So you actually just wished me an early birthday...and thank you! It's a REALLY big one....fi...fi..fi...fifty!

[Gregor]

Thank you for understanding my grief, friend. It helps.

Isn't it strange how we spend and spend and spend on our family, but when it comes to ourselves feel guilty and fight to avoid spending at all? Just my monthly trip to the hair salon makes me feel like a spendthrift! :))

Enjoy that car, luv. You need it, and just because it is beautiful and you can think of a thousand things where the money should have been spent doesn't mean you shouldn't revel in the luxury once in a while!

Besides, think of how much joy you give Mr. Gregor in luxuriating in his gift.

Happy birthday, lady bug. May your week be filled with such happiness, repeated over and over. Especially today. :pray:
It's just an amazing vehicle! We took it into the city for Mr. Gregor's biopsy today....at one point I was looking so closely at the bells and whistles...I almost hit someone...thank God he was next to me! Then on the way home he said, "Do you feel as if everyone is aiming at us?!" AND I DID. Funniest of all was when the garage attendent said, "This is a BEAUTIFUL car!" And it so is!

THANK YOU for all your warmth and kindness.

[lsue]

He and Mama lived for each other and for their kids -- for 60 years. They set a pattern that is hard to live up to.

True men and women who are willing to do that are rare these days, I think.






45 yrs in October for us. Doesn't seem that long at all, tho.

I am very sorry to hear about your father. I lost my father
almost two years ago. I still have trouble believing that he
is really gone. Thankfully it was very fast. From Tuesday
night, rallied well for a couple of days or so, then passed
away the following Sunday night.

[bella-day]

Well, we're both Geminis. My birthday is actually June 5th. He had been thinking about it, but since we had the long weekend, he just went for it...

So you actually just wished me an early birthday...and thank you! It's a REALLY big one....fi...fi..fi...fifty!

Yes that is a big one. But 50 is a nice number. You are still young enough to turn heads but old enough to be taken seriously.

That is an unbeatable combination!

I enjoyed it last year...:whistle:

[Jesso]

It's just an amazing vehicle! We took it into the city for Mr. Gregor's biopsy today....at one point I was looking so closely at the bells and whistles...I almost hit someone...thank God he was next to me! Then on the way home he said, "Do you feel as if everyone is aiming at us?!" AND I DID. Funniest of all was when the garage attendent said, "This is a BEAUTIFUL car!" And it so is!

THANK YOU for all your warmth and kindness.

Just wondering how everything is going.
PM me :hug:

[Gregor]

Just wondering how everything is going.
PM me :hug:

Hi there daughter. We're in coasting mode. He is getting radiation right now. Taking himself into the city each day. He is a quarter of the way through. So far so good. Today he noticed a lump IN his throat (not on it--thank God!)...a side effect.

We're indulging in the belief that this will all make everything bad go away. If we're right...SO YAY, and if we're wrong....no need to worry about that right now.

Thank you for asking!

[rhet 2]

Hi there daughter. We're in coasting mode. He is getting radiation right now. Taking himself into the city each day. He is a quarter of the way through. So far so good. Today he noticed a lump IN his throat (not on it--thank God!)...a side effect.

We're indulging in the belief that this will all make everything bad go away. If we're right...SO YAY, and if we're wrong....no need to worry about that right now.

Thank you for asking!

Thanks for the update. He is constantly in our prayers. So are you.

[Jesso]

Hi there daughter. We're in coasting mode. He is getting radiation right now. Taking himself into the city each day. He is a quarter of the way through. So far so good. Today he noticed a lump IN his throat (not on it--thank God!)...a side effect.

We're indulging in the belief that this will all make everything bad go away. If we're right...SO YAY, and if we're wrong....no need to worry about that right now.

Thank you for asking!
I'm glad things are going okay.

Sending all my love to all of you :hug:

[Stuball]

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were going through that!

My thoughts and prayers are with you....

This may not be the place for this...but I'm going to share it anyway...Today my husband running back and forth to Home Depot....I was cleaning and grading, and when he got back from the store, he was commenting on how much pollen was covering my car and how he wanted to buff it out for me. I told him that only part of the paint comes back when you buff it, as I tried to get all the color up last summer. I walked to the door, and there...beside my old 250,000 mile civic...was a brand new one...for my 50th birthday.

It's the first time he ever surprised me successfully. I STILL can't believe me. Soooo tomorrow he is riding to the doctor in style! (BTW: He traded in his car to get me mine....yes, I cried.)
I didnt see this till now
This makes my Civic a baby with 106,000 miles
What color is the new one?

[Gregor]

I didnt see this till now
This makes my Civic a baby with 106,000 miles
What color is the new one?

Well figure I drive 100 miles a day during the school year (x 183 or so) and then there are the city trips, and on top of that, when the car was new I drove it cross country a few times. Those miles add up fast!

Anyway, it's red, like my old civic, only much brighter and shinier!!!

Poor Mr. Gregor took my old Civic, but the air conditioning wasn't working, so a trip to the mechanic went from a compressor to a compressor, a water pump, the entire lines to and from the air conditioner, a windshield, a catalytic converter, all of which will do nothing for the oil burning problem it has.

I guess his intuition was accurate: It was time to get me a new car!!! Only now I wish he hadn't traded his in for mine. It looks like we're going to need a replacement for ole red.

[rhet 2]

Well figure I drive 100 miles a day during the school year (x 183 or so) and then there are the city trips, and on top of that, when the car was new I drove it cross country a few times. Those miles add up fast!

Anyway, it's red, like my old civic, only much brighter and shinier!!!

Poor Mr. Gregor took my old Civic, but the air conditioning wasn't working, so a trip to the mechanic went from a compressor to a compressor, a water pump, the entire lines to and from the air conditioner, a windshield, a catalytic converter, all of which will do nothing for the oil burning problem it has.

I guess his intuition was accurate: It was time to get me a new car!!! Only now I wish he hadn't traded his in for mine. It looks like we're going to need a replacement for ole red.


Isn't that the way it always goes? He's still a jewel. Hugs to you both -- and admiring glances for New Red. No hugs for the mo-chine, mind you, but joy that you have Red and your Mister, both. :hug:

[Gregor]

Someone asked today: What do I say to a friend who has cancer? That thread will come and go, so I wanted to put up what we went through in a thread that will be permanent. Here is what we found:

Well I'll tell you some of our experiences and you can pick and choose.

First, though, your own intuition and the suggestions from others thus far, have been spot on. Also one approach does not fit all. So much depends on the nature of the person who has been diagnosed.

Here were some of the don'ts:

"Oh my God. That's bad....that's really bad...."
"Have you thought about what will happen if the worst case scenario comes true? Like, have you gotten all your papers in order?"
"Well if he does die, we can always move in with you and help with the bills."
"Cancer just freaks me out. I could never handle it. I don't know how you're handling it. I've seen too many people die horrible deaths from it. I don't know how you're managing."

Blessedly, those were the only four comments I got that gave me pause. And in all those instances it was simply people being awkward or a lot more honest about their own fears/experiences than we needed to hear.

Here were some dos:

A hug. Followed by, "If you need me...."
"Mr. Gregor loves life more than anyone I know...ain't no cancer gonna beat him down!"
"I have never seen anyone handle this as well as you two."
If it's true: "We all have every reason to be hopeful. The numbers on this are great and you're at the best cancer hospital in the world."
"I can't wait for when we're all having dinner together a decade from now, and Mr. Gregor says, 'You know I never get sick,' and you will shoot him a look like, 'What are you talking about?' and we will all laugh." (This, btw, was said by one of the people who said one of the don'ts...redemption!)
"We will beat this. We will find out what will make him stronger, we will help getting him to and from the hospital, we will do whatever it takes..." (It was the "we" part, so "we" never felt alone!)
One day when I got upset because of a bad doctor's appt.. I apologized for crying. "Whoever told you that you have to be strong all the time!" I said I had to be strong for him. "Be strong for him, and cry with us."
After a bad doctor's appt.:"It's a good thing I don't know where that doctor lives, because if I did, he'd be in big trouble!" (She really wasn't going to beat him up, but I like knowing she would ;-)
"How are you?"
"How is he?"
"What can I do for you?"
"What can I do for him?"
"I love you."
"I love him."
"We're all in this together."

Notice how much the good outweighed the bad. We made sure that people around us were put at ease by bringing up the word cancer a lot, so it became less of a taboo. That opened the door for communication which ultimately made it easier for us. We didn't want pity looks, and we didn't get them, because we acted with strength and courage. Sometimes you find answers in the oddest places. I had read a novel one summer in which the main character talked about how her mother had hid her leukemia from her, and she was angry at her mother because she said, "The only good thing about cancer is that it gives you time to make things right." A friend of ours was dying of lung cancer and I stopped in to see him, and he pulled me aside and said, "It has gone to my lungs and brains; I'm going to die. Why am I even bothering? Why am I even going on?" I was at a loss, and then suddenly remembered the line from the book and said to him, "Because you are the man of your family and you always take care of them. And even now you're making sure that they are in the best possible place they can be before you leave them."

The strength that one finds once one gets over the stigma of "the c word" is incredible. Remember, people die from many illnesses, and at one time cancer was the worst of them all, but not today. There are many, many, many cancer survivors. Our attitude has been that if the prognosis is good, why would we have wasted all this time fretting? And if the prognosis is bad, then it's even more important that we enjoy the days we have and not succumb to depression and waste them.

Someone I work with whose son was diagnosed with brain cancer told me the rule in her family was no more than a "15 minute pity party a day." We have had very few of those, but I liked the idea of compartmentalizing the illness and not allowing it to consume you mentally.

We also had a lot of humor to keep us going. My husband was told that "cancer hates laughter," and so he was committed to laughing as much as possible. After we told that to our crazy friends they started sending us "cancer cards" filled with "cancer jokes." I'm sure this will cause shock and horror in some, but for Mr. Gregor it kept him laughing when his treatment was at its worst. They were really bad jokes, btw, not bad like over the top, but bad like corny. A friend of ours calls him regularly to say, "You think YOU have problems, I got ink on my favorite shirt!" That keeps him laughing, and when I had to give him his daily shots and three shots of one drug all in a row for ten days, I made up "circus needle." That's where I sang a circus song and danced the needle around...some people would have killed me, but it made him laugh, and he even asked one nurse if she would do "circus needle" in the hospital! When he seems to be getting down, I give him a chance to talk it through, and then I turn it around..."Well I'm sorry you're sad...but what about me??? You think I like the idea of taking out the garbage by myself???" Again, he gets the joke but also knows he's important. In our more serious moments I have told him that he is much more prepared to go it alone than I am, and so I will kill him if he dies and I will never speak to him again!!! After a particularly bad appt., he wanted to talk seriously about the possibility of his death, and I turned it into a tit for tat. If you die of cancer then XXX, but if I die in a flaming car crash tomorrow then XXX. For instance: "If you die of cancer then I will have to sell the house and move into an apartment because I can't handle the house along....if I die in a flaming car crash you better not marry a floosy and give away our children's inheritance to her!!!" Cause you know what? Nobody knows what will happen an hour from now, never mind in that nebulous entity called: the future.

Finally, giving "stuff." This is a double edged sword. Our dear, dear friends sent us a fruit basket that we loved, but a well meaning co-worker took up a collection and got us food gift certificates for local restaurants. That was REALLY nice...BUT it also really brought the illness home to us, and we were kind of sadder that day than other days. For that reason I would recommend against that sort of thing, although it depends on the person.

I hope this helps a little. As I said, one size does not fit all, but remembering that this is your friend and not CANCER makes it all a lot easier to get through. You want your friends to feel that they can be perfectly open with you without fear of pity or hysteria. I'm SURE you're doing everything you should be doing, and the fact that you came here suggests they are very fortuante to have a friend like you.

[Gregor]

This was from a thread about waiting for tests:
Absolutely. I will never forget the appointment with the oncologist on the day he was supposed to lay everything out for us. It was pure misery getting through work and then sitting in his waiting room. When he called us in and said, "Did I get the report from the hospital? Well let me have them fax it now...hmmm...I'm sorry this is the first time I'm reading this...it looks like folicular lymphoma, that's very slow growing...yes, that's what I think it is, although they mention diffuse B cell, that's quick growing...hmmmm...well it doesn't matter. We treat it all the same way," I wanted to pummel him. Then he took the marrow from one side, when it needed to be bi-laterial, and was discussing reports with my husband while taking the marrow!!! AND LEFT after he removed it, so my husband couldn't get answers. The next day we called Sloan, and it's the difference between feeling like a victim and being empowered. Once Sloan told us what we were dealing with and laid out a plan, it has been far easier to accept and to go forward.

BTW: According to our doctor at Sloan it NEVER was folicular; there was no sign of folicular. It is diffuse B cell.

They key is making sure you have an oncologist you trust and who knows what he's doing. I am convinced had we stayed with that other doctor, our problems would have been far worse than they are now. We tend to be "nice," and go along, but a friend told me early, no matter how good the doctor is or the hospital, you have got to be your own advocate. And that advice has made all the difference in the world.

[Gregor]

This was from a discussion about prostatitis vs. prostate cancer:

According to the National Cancer Institute, your numbers are just moderately elevated.

PSA test results report the level of PSA detected in the blood. The test results are usually reported as nanograms of PSA per milliliter (ng/ml) of blood. In the past, most doctors considered PSA values below 4.0 ng/ml as normal. However, recent research found prostate cancer in men with PSA levels below 4.0 ng/ml (2). Many doctors are now using the following ranges, with some variation:

0 to 2.5 ng/ml is low
2.6 to 10 ng/ml is slightly to moderately elevated
10 to 19.9 ng/ml is moderately elevated
20 ng/ml or more is significantly elevated

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/f.../Detection/PSA

If your doctor hasn't discussed the possibility of prostatitis with you, I would suggest you bring it up to him. By using antibiotics first to rule it out, you can save yourself unnecessary surgery...and worry. It's just a thought.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/prostatitis/DS00341
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pro...341/DSECTION=2
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pro...341/DSECTION=3
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pro...341/DSECTION=7
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pro...341/DSECTION=8

[Stuball]

Another do
The day after NY Meetup number 43 June 3 2009
Post 235897
I cant believe Mr Gregor parked in a tow away zone AGAIN!!!

[rhet 2]

Another do
The day after NY Meetup number 43 June 3 2009
Post 235897
I cant believe Mr Gregor parked in a tow away zone AGAIN!!!

As long as he's not driving Gregor's new one when it happens! :))

[dragonriot]

I don't know if I'm supposed to jump in to this thread with my own wishes, but here it goes anyway...

My father was diagnosed with Colon Cancer a couple years ago. At some point, the cancer metastasiced to his liver. He has gone through 2 surgeries, and chemotherapy, and we thought he was in remission. Now again he has been diagnosed with another tumor, again on his liver, and he is being excedingly calm about it, like he has accepted something that he won't tell his family yet.

Please keep him in your prayers, as I keep your families in mine. Pray that he will make it through this next surgery, and live a long and happy life with his wife, my mother, who loves him unconditionally, as Jesus loves all of his children. Please pray that my mom, God love her, stops being so stubborn about not wanting to switch her diet to something she may not like, but that may save my dad's life. They still eat the same old processed, preserved crap that they've always eaten, the very stuff that caused my dad's cancer in the first place. We have a new food plan waiting for them when they are ready to change, but my dad won't change because my mom won't change. If not for her stubborness, my dad would already be eating healthier, living healthier, and be happier.

Thank you all for your loving prayers.

[Gregor]

I don't know if I'm supposed to jump in to this thread with my own wishes, but here it goes anyway...

My father was diagnosed with Colon Cancer a couple years ago. At some point, the cancer metastasiced to his liver. He has gone through 2 surgeries, and chemotherapy, and we thought he was in remission. Now again he has been diagnosed with another tumor, again on his liver, and he is being excedingly calm about it, like he has accepted something that he won't tell his family yet.

Please keep him in your prayers, as I keep your families in mine. Pray that he will make it through this next surgery, and live a long and happy life with his wife, my mother, who loves him unconditionally, as Jesus loves all of his children. Please pray that my mom, God love her, stops being so stubborn about not wanting to switch her diet to something she may not like, but that may save my dad's life. They still eat the same old processed, preserved crap that they've always eaten, the very stuff that caused my dad's cancer in the first place. We have a new food plan waiting for them when they are ready to change, but my dad won't change because my mom won't change. If not for her stubborness, my dad would already be eating healthier, living healthier, and be happier.

Thank you all for your loving prayers.

You got it!!!! It sounds like you're really going through a tough time all around.

[Gregor]

Today's anxiety is as bad as the first time we walked into the oncologist's office to find out what the treatment would be. Only then we had all kinds of hope because we had been assured that lymphoma has such a high cure rate that my husband could be cured. This time I am filled with fear and dread. We were told that if the radiation worked, and no cancer cells appeared on the PET that my husband will be put in the hospital and bombarded with chemo that will kill everything in his body. Then he will receive his own stem cells that were harvested months ago. That should build him back up and he should go into remission. If, however, the radiation didn't do the job, we are dealing with what the oncologist called "the next book," a book--he said--we don't want to go into. We know what his ominous words mean, and yet Mr. Gregor looks so good, we can hardly believe it's possible, and yet, he's been raspy these last few weeks, has had a discomfort in his chest, and we both fear that the cancer is still there. I am reading a book for work called "My Sister's Keeper" about a girl who is dying of leukemia and it talked about the Murphy's Law of cancer treatment which is that the more horrific you feel during chemo the better it is--it means the poison is working. A nurse told us the same thing, and I am afraid because my husband's chemo was so easy and he endured it so well.

I am tempted to take a xanex before we go in--I don't want to fall apart for his sake...but yesterday we had our "moment" and we realize that the gift of July and our daughter's wedding last week, may well end up being the best time of our lives.

I'm going to run to the gym now and work off some of this anxiety. I'll be back later with the results.

[Hadassah]

Today's anxiety is as bad as the first time we walked into the oncologist's office to find out what the treatment would be. Only then we had all kinds of hope because we had been assured that lymphoma has such a high cure rate that my husband could be cured. This time I am filled with fear and dread. We were told that if the radiation worked, and no cancer cells appeared on the PET that my husband will be put in the hospital and bombarded with chemo that will kill everything in his body. Then he will receive his own stem cells that were harvested months ago. That should build him back up and he should go into remission. If, however, the radiation didn't do the job, we are dealing with what the oncologist called "the next book," a book--he said--we don't want to go into. We know what his ominous words mean, and yet Mr. Gregor looks so good, we can hardly believe it's possible, and yet, he's been raspy these last few weeks, has had a discomfort in his chest, and we both fear that the cancer is still there. I am reading a book for work called "My Sister's Keeper" about a girl who is dying of leukemia and it talked about the Murphy's Law of cancer treatment which is that the more horrific you feel during chemo the better it is--it means the poison is working. A nurse told us the same thing, and I am afraid because my husband's chemo was so easy and he endured it so well.

I am tempted to take a xanex before we go in--I don't want to fall apart for his sake...but yesterday we had our "moment" and we realize that the gift of July and our daughter's wedding last week, may well end up being the best time of our lives.

I'm going to run to the gym now and work off some of this anxiety. I'll be back later with the results.


:hug::hug::hug:

My mom's chemo was fairly easy.......and she's been cancer free for 5 or 6 years now.

[Jesso]

Today's anxiety is as bad as the first time we walked into the oncologist's office to find out what the treatment would be. Only then we had all kinds of hope because we had been assured that lymphoma has such a high cure rate that my husband could be cured. This time I am filled with fear and dread. We were told that if the radiation worked, and no cancer cells appeared on the PET that my husband will be put in the hospital and bombarded with chemo that will kill everything in his body. Then he will receive his own stem cells that were harvested months ago. That should build him back up and he should go into remission. If, however, the radiation didn't do the job, we are dealing with what the oncologist called "the next book," a book--he said--we don't want to go into. We know what his ominous words mean, and yet Mr. Gregor looks so good, we can hardly believe it's possible, and yet, he's been raspy these last few weeks, has had a discomfort in his chest, and we both fear that the cancer is still there. I am reading a book for work called "My Sister's Keeper" about a girl who is dying of leukemia and it talked about the Murphy's Law of cancer treatment which is that the more horrific you feel during chemo the better it is--it means the poison is working. A nurse told us the same thing, and I am afraid because my husband's chemo was so easy and he endured it so well.

I am tempted to take a xanex before we go in--I don't want to fall apart for his sake...but yesterday we had our "moment" and we realize that the gift of July and our daughter's wedding last week, may well end up being the best time of our lives.

I'm going to run to the gym now and work off some of this anxiety. I'll be back later with the results.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Sending all my love to you and "Daddy"

I'm sure everything will be just fine.

[Gregor]

:hug::hug::hug:

My mom's chemo was fairly easy.......and she's been cancer free for 5 or 6 years now.

That's a great comfort Hadassah...in fact, just about everything you've said/done has been a comfort. Can you tell I didn't make it to the gym??? Mr. Gregor brought me a second cup of coffee and I figure these are the creature comforts of which you take advantage when you can!!!

[Gregor]

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Sending all my love to you and "Daddy"

I'm sure everything will be just fine.

That's our little girl....I'll let you know later honey.:hug:

[Hadassah]

That's a great comfort Hadassah...in fact, just about everything you've said/done has been a comfort. Can you tell I didn't make it to the gym??? Mr. Gregor brought me a second cup of coffee and I figure these are the creature comforts of which you take advantage when you can!!!


Amen!


I am trying to make myself work out......so maybe I'll do some extra reps for ya. How's tha sound? That way, you can enjoy your coffee and Mr. Gregor.

[Gregor]

Amen!


I am trying to make myself work out......so maybe I'll do some extra reps for ya. How's tha sound? That way, you can enjoy your coffee and Mr. Gregor.

Depending on how things go, I'll get there tonight. When we got home from the wedding I thought I'd weigh much more than I did when we left, but I weighed the same, so now I feel compelled to continue getting that number down. I'd like to be under 110 by the time school starts which is a very realistic goal....I'm 115 now and school starts in three weeks. So much depends on Mr. G. of course and his needs....I never realized how much time working out takes!!!!!

[Jesso]

That's our little girl....I'll let you know later honey.:hug:

Please do, and here's one more hug for the hell of it :)
:hug:

[Gregor]

The PET scan was negative and so the doctor stated that Mr. G is in his first FULL remission. This was so important because it shows that the drugs and radiation can control his cancer and it makes way for any additional treatments he may need. Originally the doctor was absolute that Mr. G would be admitted to the hospital for a heavy chemo dose followed by a stem cell transplant. He isn't absolute right now, but he will meet with the team next Wednesday and then tell us how to proceed from here. There are a few possibilities including the chemo (it eliminates any microscopic cells that might still exist) or just a three month break before returning to Sloan and getting another PET.

Continue to send those good vibes and we will continue to keep you updated! THANK YOU!

[Hadassah]

The PET scan was negative and so the doctor stated that Mr. G is in his first FULL remission. This was so important because it shows that the drugs and radiation can control his cancer and it makes way for any additional treatments he may need. Originally the doctor was absolute that Mr. G would be admitted to the hospital for a heavy chemo dose followed by a stem cell transplant. He isn't absolute right now, but he will meet with the team next Wednesday and then tell us how to proceed from here. There are a few possibilities including the chemo (it eliminates any microscopic cells that might still exist) or just a three month break before returning to Sloan and getting another PET.

Continue to send those good vibes and we will continue to keep you updated! THANK YOU!


That is great news. I am so happy to hear that.

[jwil59]

The PET scan was negative and so the doctor stated that Mr. G is in his first FULL remission. This was so important because it shows that the drugs and radiation can control his cancer and it makes way for any additional treatments he may need. Originally the doctor was absolute that Mr. G would be admitted to the hospital for a heavy chemo dose followed by a stem cell transplant. He isn't absolute right now, but he will meet with the team next Wednesday and then tell us how to proceed from here. There are a few possibilities including the chemo (it eliminates any microscopic cells that might still exist) or just a three month break before returning to Sloan and getting another PET.

Continue to send those good vibes and we will continue to keep you updated! THANK YOU!


Good news. You guys are in my prayers everyday.

[Gregor]

Thank you guys so much.

I know this is a battle, not the war...but it sure was an important battle and today we're celebrating!!!!!! (I even called my daughter on her honeymoon!!!!)

[repchick]

I'm so happy for you and Mr. G . Prayers will still be going out. :pray::pray::hug::hug:

[Jesso]

The PET scan was negative and so the doctor stated that Mr. G is in his first FULL remission. This was so important because it shows that the drugs and radiation can control his cancer and it makes way for any additional treatments he may need. Originally the doctor was absolute that Mr. G would be admitted to the hospital for a heavy chemo dose followed by a stem cell transplant. He isn't absolute right now, but he will meet with the team next Wednesday and then tell us how to proceed from here. There are a few possibilities including the chemo (it eliminates any microscopic cells that might still exist) or just a three month break before returning to Sloan and getting another PET.

Continue to send those good vibes and we will continue to keep you updated! THANK YOU!

Yay :D

Whenever you see this...give him a great big sloppy kiss from me.
:hug: :hug:

[bella-day]

The PET scan was negative and so the doctor stated that Mr. G is in his first FULL remission. This was so important because it shows that the drugs and radiation can control his cancer and it makes way for any additional treatments he may need. Originally the doctor was absolute that Mr. G would be admitted to the hospital for a heavy chemo dose followed by a stem cell transplant. He isn't absolute right now, but he will meet with the team next Wednesday and then tell us how to proceed from here. There are a few possibilities including the chemo (it eliminates any microscopic cells that might still exist) or just a three month break before returning to Sloan and getting another PET.

Continue to send those good vibes and we will continue to keep you updated! THANK YOU!

I haven't been posting as much as usual lately. I hate I didn't see this post sooner.

Fantastic news! You guys must be thrilled.

[Gregor]

Thank you! Bella, I only just found this out yesterday and didn't post til last night....

We took ourselves out to a really nice Spanish dinner...Jesso: the restaurant is on First Avenue and is called Maya....YUM!

[Gregor]

I'm so happy for you and Mr. G . Prayers will still be going out. :pray::pray::hug::hug:

Thank you! We won a BIG battle...but there's still a war going on....

[repchick]

Thank you! We won a BIG battle...but there's still a war going on....
I know how the battle works . I'm still fighting with everything I have. I want you and Mr. G to do the same. I got a Good check-up on the 30th. Doc gave me 4 months untll my next appointment. I'm on top of the world.
I so hope and pray that you and Mr. G wll be able to do that soon:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Gregor]

I know how the battle works . I'm still fighting with everything I have. I want you and Mr. G to do the same. I got a Good check-up on the 30th. Doc gave me 4 months untll my next appointment. I'm on top of the world.
I so hope and pray that that you and Mr. G wll be able to do that soon:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

WOWOWOWOWOW THAT is great news! All those hugs back atcha!!!!!!

[lee66219]

You and yours still remain in my prayers.

[Jesso]

Jesso: the restaurant is on First Avenue and is called Maya....YUM!

I'll be sure and check it out :)

[Gregor]

Big day tomorrow: We find out about the stem cell transplant.

[Hadassah]

Big day tomorrow: We find out about the stem cell transplant.



:pray::pray::pray::hug::hug::hug:

[repchick]

Big day tomorrow: We find out about the stem cell transplant.
Prayers are going out for you and Mr. G . :hug::hug::pray::pray:

Keep us posted.

[Gregor]

Thank you all again...here is what's going on:
Hi all....

As you know Mr. G is in remission, but just as we thought, Sloan still wants to go forward with his stem cell transplant. This is their normal protocol in cases like Mr. G's and it was expected.

We will go to Sloan for various tests and the insertion of a catheter through which the chemo and the transplant will be administered the two days after Labor Day. Then on that Thursday, Mr. G will be admitted and his chemo, B.E.A.M., will begin. BEAM is, evidently, very tolerable. During the first few days when the chemo is administered he will not feel exceptionally fatigued--just the normal chemo routine we've come to know and love....well not quite love.... The stem cell transplant will be anti-climatic. They will defrost his frozen stem cells (these were harvested last winter) and they will be injected into him through the catheter. Soon after, though, the effects of the chemo will be more significant--mostly extreme fatigue. By the time he is released, approx. three weeks after that, he should feel close to normal. He will then need to be home about three months, just to fully recover. The Sloan team felt this was a good time to do the transplant because he is in remission and he is, according to the doctor "buff..." I think his term for healthy, although I am amused every time he tells Mr. G how buff he is! The purpose is to kill off any microscopic cells that don't show on tests...in short to sweep out all the bad stuff, so only the good stuff remains.

Life will be a little complicated for awhile longer, but hopefully this will kill all those cancer buggers and then life will be a whole lot LESS complicated! Thank you all so much for thinking about us and sending us all those healing vibes!

[Gregor]

So tomorrow is the big day. This week the doctor used the C word...CURE...and we are hopeful. They don't throw that word around willynilly at Sloan. It's going to be a rough month, but we're braced for it.

[Hadassah]

So tomorrow is the big day. This week the doctor used the C word...CURE...and we are hopeful. They don't throw that word around willynilly at Sloan. It's going to be a rough month, but we're braced for it.


It will go well......:hug::hug::hug:


I am looking forward to the day the doc says he is cured.....not just because I want to see that, but because I want to say "I told you so! I told you he'd be fine!" :mrgreen::shifty:

[Lisa4Catholics]

So tomorrow is the big day. This week the doctor used the C word...CURE...and we are hopeful. They don't throw that word around willynilly at Sloan. It's going to be a rough month, but we're braced for it.I hope he will be okay Gregor.

[bella-day]

So tomorrow is the big day. This week the doctor used the C word...CURE...and we are hopeful. They don't throw that word around willynilly at Sloan. It's going to be a rough month, but we're braced for it.

Prayers and best wishes to you both.

[bodacious changed]

I'm watching the Terry Fox story. My prayers are with you. A good friend just recently diagnosed with breast cancer; my heart is trying not to break. She has been told that she cannot handle any of her horses anymore. They are all she lives for, but now has to switch gears. To live for herself. I didn't realize that during the new chemotherapy you would have to absolutely change all of your life.

On the other hand, my grandmother's chemotherapy was nothing short of applying "chernobyl to body"
back in the 60's.

[Gregor]

I'm watching the Terry Fox story. My prayers are with you. A good friend just recently diagnosed with breast cancer; my heart is trying not to break. She has been told that she cannot handle any of her horses anymore. They are all she lives for, but now has to switch gears. To live for herself. I didn't realize that during the new chemotherapy you would have to absolutely change all of your life.

On the other hand, my grandmother's chemotherapy was nothing short of applying "chernobyl to body"
back in the 60's.

Different people react to chemo differently. For the most part my husband handled it very well. Even this one has gone much better than the way it could have gone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend. Please keep up updated.

[Gregor]

Thanks guys. Here's the update:

Mr. G has been in the hospital 16 days. It hasn't been horrible, although his stomach is giving him a problem--not an unusual response to this treatment. He has been a little stir crazy and was quite weak for the last week, but I can see a MARKED difference today. His levels are coming up and they are saying they may even release him on Tuesday!!!! Hard to believe!!!!! He will then need to follow up with the R from R-Chop six times. (I'm not sure of the schedule.)

This hasn't been nearly as bad as I anticipated. He says, "That's cause you're not me," but he forgets just how bleak the treatment sounded before he actually experienced it. For me, knowing that this COULD be a cure, this has been very, very easy...plus I found a great discount designer clothing store just a block away! The only difficulty has been the exhaustion...getting up for work at 5:30, leaving work at 4:00, driving to the city, and then home, sometimes getting in after midnight. Ugh. Small, small, small stuff though...all things considered! Whatever you're all doing for us, it's working!

[bella-day]

Thanks guys. Here's the update:

Mr. G has been in the hospital 16 days. It hasn't been horrible, although his stomach is giving him a problem--not an unusual response to this treatment. He has been a little stir crazy and was quite weak for the last week, but I can see a MARKED difference today. His levels are coming up and they are saying they may even release him on Tuesday!!!! Hard to believe!!!!! He will then need to follow up with the R from R-Chop six times. (I'm not sure of the schedule.)

This hasn't been nearly as bad as I anticipated. He says, "That's cause you're not me," but he forgets just how bleak the treatment sounded before he actually experienced it. For me, knowing that this COULD be a cure, this has been very, very easy...plus I found a great discount designer clothing store just a block away! The only difficulty has been the exhaustion...getting up for work at 5:30, leaving work at 4:00, driving to the city, and then home, sometimes getting in after midnight. Ugh. Small, small, small stuff though...all things considered! Whatever you're all doing for us, it's working!

Good news! It's great to hear the dread was worse than the reality.

Now about your schedule...you are going to drive yourself to exhaustion. I hope when they release him Tuesday; keep a positive thought there, not if but when they release him. I hope you are able to slow down a bit. You know, kick your feet up so you can relax enjoy a movie with Mr. G while munching on some popcorn.

You've had so much on your plate over the last year. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon and return to a slower pace so you will have time to smell the roses.

[repchick]

Thanks guys. Here's the update:

Mr. G has been in the hospital 16 days. It hasn't been horrible, although his stomach is giving him a problem--not an unusual response to this treatment. He has been a little stir crazy and was quite weak for the last week, but I can see a MARKED difference today. His levels are coming up and they are saying they may even release him on Tuesday!!!! Hard to believe!!!!! He will then need to follow up with the R from R-Chop six times. (I'm not sure of the schedule.)

This hasn't been nearly as bad as I anticipated. He says, "That's cause you're not me," but he forgets just how bleak the treatment sounded before he actually experienced it. For me, knowing that this COULD be a cure, this has been very, very easy...plus I found a great discount designer clothing store just a block away! The only difficulty has been the exhaustion...getting up for work at 5:30, leaving work at 4:00, driving to the city, and then home, sometimes getting in after midnight. Ugh. Small, small, small stuff though...all things considered! Whatever you're all doing for us, it's working!

This could not have been better news. I know it's been a long haul .

Hang in there . I 'm praying for a wonderful and glorious Christmas season for all my friends I care about on the O.O. :hug::hug::hug:

[Gregor]

Hi all...just a quick update.

First of all...bella...popcorn! Yum.

Okay...so we've had a bit of setback, but so far nothing we can't deal with. The Tues. plan was if all went perfectly, which, of course, it never does.

About a week ago Mr. G started spiking a fever. That could be normal or could be a sign of some kind of infection. They treated it with antibiotics at first, but now they're doing tests and may remove him from them and treat him with steroids instead. His spirits dipped a bit today, but after I got there and his doctor told him this was NOT abnormal, he perked up. The fevers are accompanied by extreme shaking and chills and he still isn't able to eat, so you can imagine how being in a room for three weeks combined with those effects feels. He is very weak--has trouble holding the cell phone for long and such--but none of this is completely unexpected or, at least not as it seems now, dangerous.

I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. Bella...you're right, I do get warn down. It's rough going from work to the hospital to home, and a little more complicated now that the UN is in session...although I noticed lighter traffic today so maybe it's keeping more cars out of the city which is nice.

Anyway, feeling a little sorry for us, I started chatting with a woman in the garage whose 41 year old sister has colon cancer and is dying. I also passed a little girl with her mom, pulling her spongebob square pants suitcase--her hair, of course, sparse...and I realized just how blessed we are.

Thank you again. Me

[jwil59]

Hi all...just a quick update.

First of all...bella...popcorn! Yum.

Okay...so we've had a bit of setback, but so far nothing we can't deal with. The Tues. plan was if all went perfectly, which, of course, it never does.

About a week ago Mr. G started spiking a fever. That could be normal or could be a sign of some kind of infection. They treated it with antibiotics at first, but now they're doing tests and may remove him from them and treat him with steroids instead. His spirits dipped a bit today, but after I got there and his doctor told him this was NOT abnormal, he perked up. The fevers are accompanied by extreme shaking and chills and he still isn't able to eat, so you can imagine how being in a room for three weeks combined with those effects feels. He is very weak--has trouble holding the cell phone for long and such--but none of this is completely unexpected or, at least not as it seems now, dangerous.

I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. Bella...you're right, I do get warn down. It's rough going from work to the hospital to home, and a little more complicated now that the UN is in session...although I noticed lighter traffic today so maybe it's keeping more cars out of the city which is nice.

Anyway, feeling a little sorry for us, I started chatting with a woman in the garage whose 41 year old sister has colon cancer and is dying. I also passed a little girl with her mom, pulling her spongebob square pants suitcase--her hair, of course, sparse...and I realized just how blessed we are.

Thank you again. Me

I am still praying for you guys everyday.

hang tough and keep us updated. God bless

[Gregor]

I am still praying for you guys everyday.

hang tough and keep us updated. God bless

Well thank you and evidently it helps. He had a horrific night last night, but seemed GREATLY improved today.

[bella-day]

Hi all...just a quick update.

First of all...bella...popcorn! Yum.

Okay...so we've had a bit of setback, but so far nothing we can't deal with. The Tues. plan was if all went perfectly, which, of course, it never does.

About a week ago Mr. G started spiking a fever. That could be normal or could be a sign of some kind of infection. They treated it with antibiotics at first, but now they're doing tests and may remove him from them and treat him with steroids instead. His spirits dipped a bit today, but after I got there and his doctor told him this was NOT abnormal, he perked up. The fevers are accompanied by extreme shaking and chills and he still isn't able to eat, so you can imagine how being in a room for three weeks combined with those effects feels. He is very weak--has trouble holding the cell phone for long and such--but none of this is completely unexpected or, at least not as it seems now, dangerous.

I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. Bella...you're right, I do get warn down. It's rough going from work to the hospital to home, and a little more complicated now that the UN is in session...although I noticed lighter traffic today so maybe it's keeping more cars out of the city which is nice.

Anyway, feeling a little sorry for us, I started chatting with a woman in the garage whose 41 year old sister has colon cancer and is dying. I also passed a little girl with her mom, pulling her spongebob square pants suitcase--her hair, of course, sparse...and I realized just how blessed we are.

Thank you again. Me

I hate to hear Mr. G has had such a rough week.

You are both in my prayers.

[Gregor]

I hate to hear Mr. G has had such a rough week.

You are both in my prayers.

Well they worked! He is getting out either tomorrow or Sunday!:hug:

[CrusaderFrank]

Well they worked! He is getting out either tomorrow or Sunday!:hug:

SWEEEEEEEEEET!

[bella-day]

Well they worked! He is getting out either tomorrow or Sunday!:hug:


Yes! I'm so happy to read this!

I'll keep you guys in my prayers. Full recovery...fully cured. That is the goal.

:hug:

[Gregor]

K! On my way to get him....ahhhhh a Sunday at home WITHOUT having to drive into the city. Not to be selfish...but SWEET indeed!!!!

[jwil59]

K! On my way to get him....ahhhhh a Sunday at home WITHOUT having to drive into the city. Not to be selfish...but SWEET indeed!!!!

Relax a little, you deserve it.....I'm praying for you guys

[Gregor]

Here is the complete update:

Mr. G spent around three and a half weeks or so in Sloan getting a major treatment. He was still in remission, buff as his doctor/secret admirer likes to say, but they do this to shock and awe any stealth micro cancer cells. First they bombarded him with B.E.A.M. (a bunch of chems) and then they re-injected his own stem cells to build him back up. He got through relatively unscathed until the final week when his stomach rebelled against the chemo and hospital food and he started spiking a fever--unrelated. They had told him that he would be so drained that after sleeping the day away he would awaken exhausted. They were right. Paradoxically even though he was figuratively catatonic, he was also stir crazy, because even though the rooms are quite nice and I provided daily entertainment including singing and tap dancing, enough is enough and/or some people just don't appreciate talent. Oddly, they released him last weekend, even though it seemed premature to all, including his doctor. In Queens, he spiked a fever and a sudden bout of stubbornness, refusing to turn back even though, as the doctor later confirmed, a voice of reason rightly suggested it. (That would be I--the reasonable one.) He survived the night and hasn't had a fever since; this is where everyone collectively knocks on wood!

He is now eating better, and he is meeting small but important goals: Today one was to go into the backyard and not only did he succeed, but he fed the goldfish too! In all seriousness that was a significant milestone and quite a distance from where he was less than a week ago! This is what's expected: His levels will come up and he will increasingly feel like his old self...the healthy one, so make that his young self.

He still needs six more chemo treatments, the "R" in RCHOP. So, you had to ask: What is Rituximab (Rituxan)?:
Rituximab (Rituxan) is a drug used in the treatment of Non-Hodgkin Lymphomas (NHL). It is one of a special group of drugs called ‘monoclonal antibodies’. Rituximab that attaches itself to a special molecule called CD20 that is present on the surface of B-cells. It is the B-cells that become cancerous in many lymphomas. By attaching to this molecule, Rituximab inactivates the cancer cells and eliminates them. As it binds only to a very specific molecule present on B-cells only, Rituximab produces no ill effects on normal cells in the body. Rituximab is now considered a standard part of initial treatment when used with chemotherapy combinations like CHOP. Three large studies have demonstrated that not only does adding Rituximab delay disease relapse or progression, it may also result in improved survival. Rituximab is therefore given with each cycle of chemotherapy, and may be continued for a period beyond completion of chemotherapy cycles. For those who have been treated earlier with chemotherapy alone and have now relapsed or progressed, Rituximab may be administered as a salvage treatment.

In any event, his full recovery period will take some time and he is restricted in terms of going into crowds and/or which foods he eats (no sushi, salad bars, undercooked stuff), but we're sure heading where we need to be headed.

Thank you all so much for your concern, prayers, vibes, communication, and wishes.

[bella-day]

It's really good to see you post the words full recovery. I know this has been a major ordeal your entire family but it sounds like you guys are slowly but surely headed in the right directioin.

I have a co-worker that survived NHL. He completed his journey to full recovery 3 years ago. The man is as healthy as can be now.

I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

May God comfort and strengthen both of you as Mr. G completes his journey to full recovery.

[jwil59]

Here is the complete update:

Mr. G spent around three and a half weeks or so in Sloan getting a major treatment. He was still in remission, buff as his doctor/secret admirer likes to say, but they do this to shock and awe any stealth micro cancer cells. First they bombarded him with B.E.A.M. (a bunch of chems) and then they re-injected his own stem cells to build him back up. He got through relatively unscathed until the final week when his stomach rebelled against the chemo and hospital food and he started spiking a fever--unrelated. They had told him that he would be so drained that after sleeping the day away he would awaken exhausted. They were right. Paradoxically even though he was figuratively catatonic, he was also stir crazy, because even though the rooms are quite nice and I provided daily entertainment including singing and tap dancing, enough is enough and/or some people just don't appreciate talent. Oddly, they released him last weekend, even though it seemed premature to all, including his doctor. In Queens, he spiked a fever and a sudden bout of stubbornness, refusing to turn back even though, as the doctor later confirmed, a voice of reason rightly suggested it. (That would be I--the reasonable one.) He survived the night and hasn't had a fever since; this is where everyone collectively knocks on wood!

He is now eating better, and he is meeting small but important goals: Today one was to go into the backyard and not only did he succeed, but he fed the goldfish too! In all seriousness that was a significant milestone and quite a distance from where he was less than a week ago! This is what's expected: His levels will come up and he will increasingly feel like his old self...the healthy one, so make that his young self.

He still needs six more chemo treatments, the "R" in RCHOP. So, you had to ask: What is Rituximab (Rituxan)?:
Rituximab (Rituxan) is a drug used in the treatment of Non-Hodgkin Lymphomas (NHL). It is one of a special group of drugs called ‘monoclonal antibodies’. Rituximab that attaches itself to a special molecule called CD20 that is present on the surface of B-cells. It is the B-cells that become cancerous in many lymphomas. By attaching to this molecule, Rituximab inactivates the cancer cells and eliminates them. As it binds only to a very specific molecule present on B-cells only, Rituximab produces no ill effects on normal cells in the body. Rituximab is now considered a standard part of initial treatment when used with chemotherapy combinations like CHOP. Three large studies have demonstrated that not only does adding Rituximab delay disease relapse or progression, it may also result in improved survival. Rituximab is therefore given with each cycle of chemotherapy, and may be continued for a period beyond completion of chemotherapy cycles. For those who have been treated earlier with chemotherapy alone and have now relapsed or progressed, Rituximab may be administered as a salvage treatment.

In any event, his full recovery period will take some time and he is restricted in terms of going into crowds and/or which foods he eats (no sushi, salad bars, undercooked stuff), but we're sure heading where we need to be headed.

Thank you all so much for your concern, prayers, vibes, communication, and wishes.

Good news, I'm still praying about this

[rhet 2]

Good news, I'm still praying about this

We all are. Both thanksgiving and petition.

[Gregor]

Thank you so much. Your prayers seem to be working! He is coming along. We're continuing the weekly visits to Sloan for his ritoxan shots, and I have to give him neupogin shots three times a week, but even though his strength has been very slow to come back...it is.

[rhet 2]

Thank you so much. Your prayers seem to be working! He is coming along. We're continuing the weekly visits to Sloan for his ritoxan shots, and I have to give him neupogin shots three times a week, but even though his strength has been very slow to come back...it is.

Good news. Slow and steady is as good as sudden and excited. As long as he's improving, we are content. Thank you, LORD!

[Larry, Curly & Mohamed]

My 30 year old niece was just diagnosed with Contagious T-Cell Lymphoma. Its amazing that they caught it. She had a strange rash and went to a dermatologist. He did a biopsy and she got this diagnosis. Shes in the first stage. Although not curable, her prognosis is good for up to 12 years WITH treatment.

[rhet 2]

My 30 year old niece was just diagnosed with Contagious T-Cell Lymphoma. Its amazing that they caught it. She had a strange rash and went to a dermatologist. He did a biopsy and she got this diagnosis. Shes in the first stage. Although not curable, her prognosis is good for up to 12 years WITH treatment.

She just hit my prayer list, luv. "With God, all things are possible." Including successful treatment. I am grateful that He got it caught in the first stage.

[Larry, Curly & Mohamed]

She just hit my prayer list, luv. "With God, all things are possible." Including successful treatment. I am grateful that He got it caught in the first stage.

Thank you!!

[Gregor]

My 30 year old niece was just diagnosed with Contagious T-Cell Lymphoma. Its amazing that they caught it. She had a strange rash and went to a dermatologist. He did a biopsy and she got this diagnosis. Shes in the first stage. Although not curable, her prognosis is good for up to 12 years WITH treatment.
Did you mean cutaneous T-cell lymphoma? The rash is usually the only sign of this lymphoma, and people often ignore it, so you're absoultely right!!! It's such a blessing that it was in the earliest stages.

There is a foundation that deals with this illness. You may want to check out this site:
http://www.clfoundation.org/about_cutaneous_lymphoma/CL_fast_facts.htm

All the best to your niece and to you.

[Larry, Curly & Mohamed]

Did you mean cutaneous T-cell lymphoma? The rash is usually the only sign of this lymphoma, and people often ignore it, so you're absoultely right!!! It's such a blessing that it was in the earliest stages.

There is a foundation that deals with this illness. You may want to check out this site:
http://www.clfoundation.org/about_cutaneous_lymphoma/CL_fast_facts.htm

All the best to your niece and to you.

YES. That is it. Thank you!

[jwil59]

My 30 year old niece was just diagnosed with Contagious T-Cell Lymphoma. Its amazing that they caught it. She had a strange rash and went to a dermatologist. He did a biopsy and she got this diagnosis. Shes in the first stage. Although not curable, her prognosis is good for up to 12 years WITH treatment.

Any news about you neice? I am praying about this.

[Gregor]

Pet scan results on Thursday. Please bombard Mr. G. with good vibes and/or prayers. Thanks.

[jwil59]

Pet scan results on Thursday. Please bombard Mr. G. with good vibes and/or prayers. Thanks.

I am praying about this every day. God bless

[rhet 2]

Pet scan results on Thursday. Please bombard Mr. G. with good vibes and/or prayers. Thanks.

YOu gots it, luv. Hang tough!

[Gregor]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the good thoughts!

[repchick]

You got it. :pray::hug:

[Gregor]

Ick...so the stomach ache starts for the next two days....I just want to hear, "There is nothing there; he's still in remission." God knows (literally) we could sure use a breather!

[JenyEliza]

Pet scan results on Thursday. Please bombard Mr. G. with good vibes and/or prayers. Thanks.

You and Mr. G have my prayers--and always have. :pray:

[rhet 2]

Ick...so the stomach ache starts for the next two days....I just want to hear, "There is nothing there; he's still in remission." God knows (literally) we could sure use a breather!

Yeah. Major tension. Prayers and positive hugs hugs hugs for you too.

[Hadassah]

Pet scan results on Thursday. Please bombard Mr. G. with good vibes and/or prayers. Thanks.

:hug::hug::hug:

[repchick]

Pet scan results on Thursday. Please bombard Mr. G. with good vibes and/or prayers. Thanks.

Prayers going out for tomorrow.:pray:

[Hadassah]

Ick...so the stomach ache starts for the next two days....I just want to hear, "There is nothing there; he's still in remission." God knows (literally) we could sure use a breather!

How are you doing this morning?

[Gregor]

Thank you all. There is a bit of activity on the PET--what he described as a very small, low glow--but the Doctor said he couldn't even see it and he doesn't believe it's going to be a problem. All that means for now is the next time Mr. G gets scanned instead of a CAT Scan, they'll do a PET Scan--and that's not for 6 months, anyway...so clearly he isn't worried about it. He was a little concerned with a dip in Mr. G's white blood cell count. He's not sure as to that which he should attribute it. He thinks it could be the hep, but, it could even be a vitamin thing, so he told him to start taking vitamins. He goes back in a month, and in a few months, he has 4 more Rituxan (chemo treatments....well the R in R-Chop, which is a kind of chemo.) Liver levels look good and stable, which is great. Thanks for your support and concern. This is good news in the New Year! I appreciate you all!!!!

[Hadassah]

Thank you all. There is a bit of activity on the PET--what he described as a very small, low glow--but the Doctor said he couldn't even see it and he doesn't believe it's going to be a problem. All that means for now is the next time Mr. G gets scanned instead of a CAT Scan, they'll do a PET Scan--and that's not for 6 months, anyway...so clearly he isn't worried about it. He was a little concerned with a dip in Mr. G's white blood cell count. He's not sure as to that which he should attribute it. He thinks it could be the hep, but, it could even be a vitamin thing, so he told him to start taking vitamins. He goes back in a month, and in a few months, he has 4 more Rituxan (chemo treatments....well the R in R-Chop, which is a kind of chemo.) Liver levels look good and stable, which is great. Thanks for your support and concern. This is good news in the New Year! I appreciate you all!!!!

I am crying from sheer joy! :hug: :hug: :hug:

[jwil59]

Thank you all. There is a bit of activity on the PET--what he described as a very small, low glow--but the Doctor said he couldn't even see it and he doesn't believe it's going to be a problem. All that means for now is the next time Mr. G gets scanned instead of a CAT Scan, they'll do a PET Scan--and that's not for 6 months, anyway...so clearly he isn't worried about it. He was a little concerned with a dip in Mr. G's white blood cell count. He's not sure as to that which he should attribute it. He thinks it could be the hep, but, it could even be a vitamin thing, so he told him to start taking vitamins. He goes back in a month, and in a few months, he has 4 more Rituxan (chemo treatments....well the R in R-Chop, which is a kind of chemo.) Liver levels look good and stable, which is great. Thanks for your support and concern. This is good news in the New Year! I appreciate you all!!!!

Ok then we will just keep praying about this.

[rhet 2]

I am crying from sheer joy! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Ditto that! I'm thrilled and so grateful!

[repchick]

Thank you all. There is a bit of activity on the PET--what he described as a very small, low glow--but the Doctor said he couldn't even see it and he doesn't believe it's going to be a problem. All that means for now is the next time Mr. G gets scanned instead of a CAT Scan, they'll do a PET Scan--and that's not for 6 months, anyway...so clearly he isn't worried about it. He was a little concerned with a dip in Mr. G's white blood cell count. He's not sure as to that which he should attribute it. He thinks it could be the hep, but, it could even be a vitamin thing, so he told him to start taking vitamins. He goes back in a month, and in a few months, he has 4 more Rituxan (chemo treatments....well the R in R-Chop, which is a kind of chemo.) Liver levels look good and stable, which is great. Thanks for your support and concern. This is good news in the New Year! I appreciate you all!!!!


This is great news.

I guess you will be back giving Mr.G neupogen injections in a few months?

You will not be suffering from needle withdrawel for much longer. Are you stil giving shots to your friends's cat?

[bella-day]

Thank you all. There is a bit of activity on the PET--what he described as a very small, low glow--but the Doctor said he couldn't even see it and he doesn't believe it's going to be a problem. All that means for now is the next time Mr. G gets scanned instead of a CAT Scan, they'll do a PET Scan--and that's not for 6 months, anyway...so clearly he isn't worried about it. He was a little concerned with a dip in Mr. G's white blood cell count. He's not sure as to that which he should attribute it. He thinks it could be the hep, but, it could even be a vitamin thing, so he told him to start taking vitamins. He goes back in a month, and in a few months, he has 4 more Rituxan (chemo treatments....well the R in R-Chop, which is a kind of chemo.) Liver levels look good and stable, which is great. Thanks for your support and concern. This is good news in the New Year! I appreciate you all!!!!

Great news!

Prayers for Mr. G's continued progress.

[Gregor]

This is great news.

I guess you will be back giving Mr.G neupogen injections in a few months?

You will not be suffering from needle withdrawel for much longer. Are you stil giving shots to your friends's cat?

Ha! You have a GREAT memory! Well today they called and they don't like his white blood cell count, so they want him to get neulasta on Monday--but the down side is that since we only have nupogen in the frig, he has to go there and get it....darn!!!

My friend has been able to care for the kitty, who is doing really well, btw...but I'm on call as the next in line should he need to or want to go away!!!

You're so cute!

[Gregor]

Thanks you guys....I'm beginning to realize that we can't look to these six month visits as being based on all going well. There are going to be glitches, and the key is to get through from visit to visit.

OH! Rep!! In a few months when he starts up his Rituxan again, I will be poised and ready to plunge!!!!

[repchick]

Thanks you guys....I'm beginning to realize that we can't look to these six month visits as being based on all going well. There are going to be glitches, and the key is to get through from visit to visit.

OH! Rep!! In a few months when he starts up his Rituxan again, I will be poised and ready to plunge!!!!


Poor Guy.:))

[Gregor]

Poor Guy.:))

Gregor needle hands!

[rhet 2]

Gregor needle hands!

:))

Good teacher. Good mom. And even better wife.

I am WOMAN. Hear me roar.

And watch me be all things to all mankind. :))

:hug: oh, Lady Fair

[repchick]

Gregor needle hands!
I couldn't give a shot to anyone. I have trouble cleaning out cuts and bandaging them. I'm not the best nurse. :))

[Gregor]

Been a crazy week. So today he went for his neulasta and some bloodwork. His cough is horrible and kept me up all night. But because he's male, he's stubborn and won't take the codeine cough syrup.

Here is a topic for discussion:

My husband is a really great guy...but he's still 17 and sometimes he thinks I'm his mom, so he is still rebelling. Something like: Take your cough syrup becomes, "No. I don't want to." (The end result last night was I got no sleep and had to stay home from work today.) Also, as a male, he often thinks he knows better than everyone else, even the doctors. Example: Yesterday he had a fever. Fever = hospital immediately. He fought me w/ this a year ago and could have died, which was made very clear to him. A fever means infection and with his white blood cells depleted it could cross the line to death. So I said, "We have to go." He explained a million different reasons why we didn't, including lowering the heat. End result, the fever did go down, but it could just as easily have not gone down...which is why they want him in the hospital. On New Year's he spit up some blood, from his cough--but again, a sign of infection, which he ignored.

Now, as I have explained to him repeatedly: I cannot possibly know all the complications that go on in his head and heart and spirit when dealing with this disease. But in addition to being a guy w/ cancer, he's still my husband, and I am not going to walk on eggshells. So, when he does annoying things I will make it clear that he has to cut it out, just as I did for the other 28 of our 30 years together.

I tell him all the time I'm going to write a book called: What about ME? The tale of a cancer survivor's spouse!!!

There is a whole psychology that goes with having a family member who is dealing with the enormity of this illness, and it re-defines and re-shapes your entire relationship.

Most recently, he's gotten traits I saw in my mother in her last year of life...only HE is in remission...but then I struggle with, but what if he comes out of remission?! Those traits include: "I don't know what to eat, nothing appeals to me." I fought with my mom in her final years because she wanted me to know what she wanted to eat. I can't believe I'm doing this all over again with him. I know how hard it is to think of what to eat when your appetite is suppressed, but why do they think I know better than they do?! (BTW: I have dropped down to 105 lbs w/ his illness, cause I don't know what to eat either! But I don't ask HIM what I should eat!!!)

I feel as if I am constantly second guessing what he needs and, yet, I'm keenly aware that my life is passing me by too as I do the catering.

I know some of you have lost loved ones to cancer and others have had cancer yourself, and I also know that what I'm expressing isn't unusual. I'm not sure there really is an answer, just the need to vent now and then. I think I'd be less cranky if he'd taken the damn cough syrup last night!!!!

Later alligators.

[bella-day]

And you would probably feel more rested.

I understand what you are talking about. The disease and the victim of this horrible disease becomes the center of the universe. It's a universe that spins out of control at times and has a gravitational pull that can almost leave you (caregiver/loving family member) feeling empty.

What many overlook is that the family also becomes victims of the disease. We sometimes feel we must walk on egg shells as you say to help maintain some kind of sanity throughout it all.

Venting is a very good thing. It helps us get those things that weigh heavily in our minds and hearts out so they do not weigh us down. I hope putting your thoughts into words helped in that area for you today.

Now, let's talk about you for a second. You have got to try to take better care of yourself. If Mr. G was up coughing for the better part of the night he too must be exhausted...which means he has got to fall asleep sometimes during the day.

That should leave an opening for you. What's more relaxing than a nice, hot, bubble bath followed by a short nap? A small bit of personal indulgence goes a long way you know.

Take care of yourself Gregor and when you need a shoulder on which to lean...I'll offer mine. :hug:

[rhet 2]

Been a crazy week. So today he went for his neulasta and some bloodwork. His cough is horrible and kept me up all night. But because he's male, he's stubborn and won't take the codeine cough syrup.

Here is a topic for discussion:

My husband is a really great guy...but he's still 17 and sometimes he thinks I'm his mom, so he is still rebelling. Something like: Take your cough syrup becomes, "No. I don't want to." (The end result last night was I got no sleep and had to stay home from work today.) Also, as a male, he often thinks he knows better than everyone else, even the doctors. Example: Yesterday he had a fever. Fever = hospital immediately. He fought me w/ this a year ago and could have died, which was made very clear to him. A fever means infection and with his white blood cells depleted it could cross the line to death. So I said, "We have to go." He explained a million different reasons why we didn't, including lowering the heat. End result, the fever did go down, but it could just as easily have not gone down...which is why they want him in the hospital. On New Year's he spit up some blood, from his cough--but again, a sign of infection, which he ignored.

Now, as I have explained to him repeatedly: I cannot possibly know all the complications that go on in his head and heart and spirit when dealing with this disease. But in addition to being a guy w/ cancer, he's still my husband, and I am not going to walk on eggshells. So, when he does annoying things I will make it clear that he has to cut it out, just as I did for the other 28 of our 30 years together.

I tell him all the time I'm going to write a book called: What about ME? The tale of a cancer survivor's spouse!!!

There is a whole psychology that goes with having a family member who is dealing with the enormity of this illness, and it re-defines and re-shapes your entire relationship.

Most recently, he's gotten traits I saw in my mother in her last year of life...only HE is in remission...but then I struggle with, but what if he comes out of remission?! Those traits include: "I don't know what to eat, nothing appeals to me." I fought with my mom in her final years because she wanted me to know what she wanted to eat. I can't believe I'm doing this all over again with him. I know how hard it is to think of what to eat when your appetite is suppressed, but why do they think I know better than they do?! (BTW: I have dropped down to 105 lbs w/ his illness, cause I don't know what to eat either! But I don't ask HIM what I should eat!!!)

I feel as if I am constantly second guessing what he needs and, yet, I'm keenly aware that my life is passing me by too as I do the catering.

I know some of you have lost loved ones to cancer and others have had cancer yourself, and I also know that what I'm expressing isn't unusual. I'm not sure there really is an answer, just the need to vent now and then. I think I'd be less cranky if he'd taken the damn cough syrup last night!!!!

Later alligators.

Venting is a good thing -- and Repchick has very broad and comfy shoulders. She doesn't mind a bit. :) And so does Bella.

[Neither do I, really. But don't tell them that.]

It's not just men. I've known some women like this, too. And it does get worse when they really DO need the docs. It's almost like they're defying the reality of feeling awful, almost a rebellion against the illness itself that spills over into their personal relationships.

And it's not just cancer. It's almost every debilitating physical ailment.

I feel for you with all my heart -- and deeply admire your constancy and determination.

And it doesn't matter what you eat. It doesn't matter whether you WANT to eat of not. Shove something nourishing down both your throats whether you're hungry or not, whether it's appetizing or not. Set an alarm clock and EAT, like swallowing medicine -- because the food is medicine-- it's energy and life force to use to fight back.

That's what I've been doing, and I'm back up to a little over 115 -- ten more pounds to gain back.

But that's only because my own darling and my daughter do to me what you have done with your's: "So, when he does annoying things I will make it clear that he has to cut it out, just as I did for the other 28 of our 30 years together." They do that with me, too.

What you call "catering," I've been calling "hovering" -- and now I've got to rethink my attitude toward that "hovering" -- and make myself see their perspective a bit more deeply.

:hug:

[Gregor]

And you would probably feel more rested.

I understand what you are talking about. The disease and the victim of this horrible disease becomes the center of the universe. It's a universe that spins out of control at times and has a gravitational pull that can almost leave you (caregiver/loving family member) feeling empty.

What many overlook is that the family also becomes victims of the disease. We sometimes feel we must walk on egg shells as you say to help maintain some kind of sanity throughout it all.

Venting is a very good thing. It helps us get those things that weigh heavily in our minds and hearts out so they do not weigh us down. I hope putting your thoughts into words helped in that area for you today.

Now, let's talk about you for a second. You have got to try to take better care of yourself. If Mr. G was up coughing for the better part of the night he too must be exhausted...which means he has got to fall asleep sometimes during the day.

That should leave an opening for you. What's more relaxing than a nice, hot, bubble bath followed by a short nap? A small bit of personal indulgence goes a long way you know.

Take care of yourself Gregor and when you need a shoulder on which to lean...I'll offer mine. :hug:

Thank you for your understanding and your shoulder!

Here's what happened: For the first time since my husband has been sick, I got sick. Last night when his fever spiked, all I could think of is: Now what do I do? Our girls are amazing, but neither lives near us, and both have jobs. We have great friends, but they too have lives and work in the morning, and so it all falls on me, which normally isn't even really "falling." Nothing has been "that hard," with the exception of starting school in September, and having to go straight from work to the hospital every day, and then back home late only night, only to start out at 5:30 AM all over again. That was rough in a, "I think I might fall asleep driving" kind of way...oh, and "How am I going to get these papers graded, when I don't have any time to get it done" kind of way too. Again, in the total scheme of dealing with cancer if that was my biggest "problem" I recognize that both I and WE are blessed. I didn't mind taking today off from work, but everytime I do, I have to call in plans for four different classes and, since I've already taken so much time off with him, I have to make sure they're REAL lessons. My students shouldn't have to suffer because of me. Fortunately we were in the middle of plays in all my classes, and they can read them aloud. I just want to add, that I have been very up front w/ my students, and the result is that when I'm out they are GOLDEN.

Anyway, if you can muddle through that rambling mess here is what you will get:
1. I'm tired and sick, and so a little cranky.
2. My husband is tired and sick, and so a little cranky.
3. He has cancer so his tired and sick takes priority over mine, which makes me crankier when I'm tired and sick.
4. I hate missing work.
5. He keeps whining, which is even more annoying since I'm tired and cranky.

Oh and this:
He is in remission. He is not 100% yet, but he's pretty strong for the most part. I have an hour commute to work and never come home without more work to do. There is a part of me that wonders (silent, martyr suffering) why he can't make egg salad for himself. He has solved all the problems of the world on the computer. He has mulched all the leaves in our acre large backyard. But he can't boil an egg.

Okay. I'm through. And you're right Bella: The venting makes ALL the diff.

[Gregor]

Venting is a good thing -- and Repchick has very broad and comfy shoulders. She doesn't mind a bit. :) And so does Bella.

[Neither do I, really. But don't tell them that.]

It's not just men. I've known some women like this, too. And it does get worse when they really DO need the docs. It's almost like they're defying the reality of feeling awful, almost a rebellion against the illness itself that spills over into their personal relationships.
YES! Well put, and I realize that spirit is probably what is keeping him so strong!!!!

And it's not just cancer. It's almost every debilitating physical ailment.

I feel for you with all my heart -- and deeply admire your constancy and determination.

And it doesn't matter what you eat. It doesn't matter whether you WANT to eat of not. Shove something nourishing down both your throats whether you're hungry or not, whether it's appetizing or not. Set an alarm clock and EAT, like swallowing medicine -- because the food is medicine-- it's energy and life force to use to fight back.

That's what I've been doing, and I'm back up to a little over 115 -- ten more pounds to gain back. That's what I tell him. But again, as an obstinate child he with get that little impish grin and tell me he ate nothing. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


But that's only because my own darling and my daughter do to me what you have done with your's: "So, when he does annoying things I will make it clear that he has to cut it out, just as I did for the other 28 of our 30 years together." They do that with me, too.
I do. With humor. The truth is I'd rather vent here than at him. It gets it out of me, and then I can be the strength he really does need. I think we were both thrown by the "little glow" and the low white blood cell count. We really thought we'd be going in and he'd say, "Pefect! Now get on with living!" I am beginning to realize we're going to have to "rethink" these six month visits and what happens in between.

What you call "catering," I've been calling "hovering" -- and now I've got to rethink my attitude toward that "hovering" -- and make myself see their perspective a bit more deeply.

:hug:
Actually, I think I may have to re-think what I termed catering and recognize it more as hovering!!! The reason I used the word "cater" is that's what my mother always used to say, and so I adopted that term. But, in truth, the word hover captures better what I do and what I want to do and what he needs. Thanks for that! You don't need to rethink anything. Having two people makes a world of difference, and I have no doubt you are extremely considerate of those around you.

[rhet 2]

YES! Well put, and I realize that spirit is probably what is keeping him so strong!!!!
That's what I tell him. But again, as an obstinate child he with get that little impish grin and tell me he ate nothing. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I do. With humor. The truth is I'd rather vent here than at him. It gets it out of me, and then I can be the strength he really does need. I think we were both thrown by the "little glow" and the low white blood cell count. We really thought we'd be going in and he'd say, "Pefect! Now get on with living!" I am beginning to realize we're going to have to "rethink" these six month visits and what happens in between.


Actually, I think I may have to re-think what I termed catering and recognize it more as hovering!!! The reason I used the word "cater" is that's what my mother always used to say, and so I adopted that term. But, in truth, the word hover captures better what I do and what I want to do and what he needs. Thanks for that! You don't need to rethink anything. Having two people makes a world of difference, and I have no doubt you are extremely considerate of those around you.

Hah!

From your keyboard to the ears of the Cuddly Bear and the Kate on that "considerate of those around me" bit -- and to my own heart which is not wise enough to merit those words.

I will say this: it is extremely frustrating when I see something that just a few months ago would NEVER have happened because I would have been there to stop it or something I used to do all the time without even thinking about that is now a constant and real battle to do at all.

I HATE THIS CREEPING INEFFICACY that is slowing sapping my strength and energy and Get Up and DO IT.

At the same time, when the sudden dizzy hits and my head feels like a spike is being shoved into my temple and my legs literally will not hold be up and I find myself slowly sliding down the wall, sticking my back into it just as hard as I can just to keep from falling over face down -- and the Kate or the Bear grab me and get me into my chair or on the couch and fetch the water and the damned pills --

-- well, the SHEER COMFORT of turning loose and letting them control things for just a bit is indescribable, too. Suddenly, "hover" is the greatest SOFT and HUGGIE WONDER in all the world.

Hang tough, oh Soft and Huggable Wonder of the World.

Sometimes, it's not so easy to tell our Soft and Huggable Hoverers what we really think and feel.

[Gregor]

Hah!

From your keyboard to the ears of the Cuddly Bear and the Kate on that "considerate of those around me" bit -- and to my own heart which is not wise enough to merit those words.

I will say this: it is extremely frustrating when I see something that just a few months ago would NEVER have happened because I would have been there to stop it or something I used to do all the time without even thinking about that is now a constant and real battle to do at all.

I HATE THIS CREEPING INEFFICACY that is slowing sapping my strength and energy and Get Up and DO IT.

At the same time, when the sudden dizzy hits and my head feels like a spike is being shoved into my temple and my legs literally will not hold be up and I find myself slowly sliding down the wall, sticking my back into it just as hard as I can just to keep from falling over face down -- and the Kate or the Bear grab me and get me into my chair or on the couch and fetch the water and the damned pills --

-- well, the SHEER COMFORT of turning loose and letting them control things for just a bit is indescribable, too. Suddenly, "hover" is the greatest SOFT and HUGGIE WONDER in all the world.

Hang tough, oh Soft and Huggable Wonder of the World.

Sometimes, it's not so easy to tell our Soft and Huggable Hoverers what we really think and feel.

I can't imagine ANYONE not wanting to be soft and huggable towards you.

My husband is handling this amazingly well...but remember, his battle hasn't been close to yours. He even got through chemo vomit free. In his defense (against me) however, he really has been knocked on his arse with this cold. I still have residual effects, my daughters still have residual effects, and he has none of the immune system we have to battle it. You know how it is: When you feel really crappy everything is even worse than it is. He just happens to feel really crappy at the same time I do.

Here's something curious: I used to get sick ALL THE TIME. In a year and a half, since his diagnosis, this is the first time I've gotten sick. Weird, huh?

He better let me sleep tonight. That's all I'm saying.

[rhet 2]

I can't imagine ANYONE not wanting to be soft and huggable towards you.

My husband is handling this amazingly well...but remember, his battle hasn't been close to yours. He even got through chemo vomit free. In his defense (against me) however, he really has been knocked on his arse with this cold. I still have residual effects, my daughters still have residual effects, and he has none of the immune system we have to battle it. You know how it is: When you feel really crappy everything is even worse than it is. He just happens to feel really crappy at the same time I do.

Here's something curious: I used to get sick ALL THE TIME. In a year and a half, since his diagnosis, this is the first time I've gotten sick. Weird, huh?

He better let me sleep tonight. That's all I'm saying.

Not weird at all. Want weird? Neither has the Bear or the Kate. :))

Praying for that good night's sleep for you BOTH. :hug:

[repchick]

Been a crazy week. So today he went for his neulasta and some bloodwork. His cough is horrible and kept me up all night. But because he's male, he's stubborn and won't take the codeine cough syrup.

Here is a topic for discussion:

My husband is a really great guy...but he's still 17 and sometimes he thinks I'm his mom, so he is still rebelling. Something like: Take your cough syrup becomes, "No. I don't want to." (The end result last night was I got no sleep and had to stay home from work today.) Also, as a male, he often thinks he knows better than everyone else, even the doctors. Example: Yesterday he had a fever. Fever = hospital immediately. He fought me w/ this a year ago and could have died, which was made very clear to him. A fever means infection and with his white blood cells depleted it could cross the line to death. So I said, "We have to go." He explained a million different reasons why we didn't, including lowering the heat. End result, the fever did go down, but it could just as easily have not gone down...which is why they want him in the hospital. On New Year's he spit up some blood, from his cough--but again, a sign of infection, which he ignored.

Now, as I have explained to him repeatedly: I cannot possibly know all the complications that go on in his head and heart and spirit when dealing with this disease. But in addition to being a guy w/ cancer, he's still my husband, and I am not going to walk on eggshells. So, when he does annoying things I will make it clear that he has to cut it out, just as I did for the other 28 of our 30 years together.

I tell him all the time I'm going to write a book called: What about ME? The tale of a cancer survivor's spouse!!!

There is a whole psychology that goes with having a family member who is dealing with the enormity of this illness, and it re-defines and re-shapes your entire relationship.

Most recently, he's gotten traits I saw in my mother in her last year of life...only HE is in remission...but then I struggle with, but what if he comes out of remission?! Those traits include: "I don't know what to eat, nothing appeals to me." I fought with my mom in her final years because she wanted me to know what she wanted to eat. I can't believe I'm doing this all over again with him. I know how hard it is to think of what to eat when your appetite is suppressed, but why do they think I know better than they do?! (BTW: I have dropped down to 105 lbs w/ his illness, cause I don't know what to eat either! But I don't ask HIM what I should eat!!!)

I feel as if I am constantly second guessing what he needs and, yet, I'm keenly aware that my life is passing me by too as I do the catering.

I know some of you have lost loved ones to cancer and others have had cancer yourself, and I also know that what I'm expressing isn't unusual. I'm not sure there really is an answer, just the need to vent now and then. I think I'd be less cranky if he'd taken the damn cough syrup last night!!!!

Later alligators.

You should talk to my husband . He most likely feels the same way about me as you do about Mr. G. I most likely have driven that poor man nuts many times. I have a script in my jewelery box that I can't decide if I want to fill or not. I think it might help me but if it doesn't I have to wean myself off it. He asks me at least once a week "Do yo want me to get that filled for you"? I reply" I haven't decided if I'm going to take it or not"? Then we go through the whole disscusion about not eating right and on and on .

[repchick]

[quote=rhet 2;18929881]Venting is a good thing -- and Repchick has very broad and comfy shoulders. She doesn't mind a bit. :) And so does Bella.

You give me way too much credit. :hug:

[Gregor]

K...he took his cough syrup....let's see how this goes!

[repchick]

:hug::hug:I'll pray for re****l sleep for both of you.

[jwil59]

Been a crazy week. So today he went for his neulasta and some bloodwork. His cough is horrible and kept me up all night. But because he's male, he's stubborn and won't take the codeine cough syrup.

Here is a topic for discussion:

My husband is a really great guy...but he's still 17 and sometimes he thinks I'm his mom, so he is still rebelling. Something like: Take your cough syrup becomes, "No. I don't want to." (The end result last night was I got no sleep and had to stay home from work today.) Also, as a male, he often thinks he knows better than everyone else, even the doctors. Example: Yesterday he had a fever. Fever = hospital immediately. He fought me w/ this a year ago and could have died, which was made very clear to him. A fever means infection and with his white blood cells depleted it could cross the line to death. So I said, "We have to go." He explained a million different reasons why we didn't, including lowering the heat. End result, the fever did go down, but it could just as easily have not gone down...which is why they want him in the hospital. On New Year's he spit up some blood, from his cough--but again, a sign of infection, which he ignored.

Now, as I have explained to him repeatedly: I cannot possibly know all the complications that go on in his head and heart and spirit when dealing with this disease. But in addition to being a guy w/ cancer, he's still my husband, and I am not going to walk on eggshells. So, when he does annoying things I will make it clear that he has to cut it out, just as I did for the other 28 of our 30 years together.

I tell him all the time I'm going to write a book called: What about ME? The tale of a cancer survivor's spouse!!!

There is a whole psychology that goes with having a family member who is dealing with the enormity of this illness, and it re-defines and re-shapes your entire relationship.

Most recently, he's gotten traits I saw in my mother in her last year of life...only HE is in remission...but then I struggle with, but what if he comes out of remission?! Those traits include: "I don't know what to eat, nothing appeals to me." I fought with my mom in her final years because she wanted me to know what she wanted to eat. I can't believe I'm doing this all over again with him. I know how hard it is to think of what to eat when your appetite is suppressed, but why do they think I know better than they do?! (BTW: I have dropped down to 105 lbs w/ his illness, cause I don't know what to eat either! But I don't ask HIM what I should eat!!!)

I feel as if I am constantly second guessing what he needs and, yet, I'm keenly aware that my life is passing me by too as I do the catering.

I know some of you have lost loved ones to cancer and others have had cancer yourself, and I also know that what I'm expressing isn't unusual. I'm not sure there really is an answer, just the need to vent now and then. I think I'd be less cranky if he'd taken the damn cough syrup last night!!!!

Later alligators.

Gee Gregor I don't know what to say about all that.

Just know I am praying for you guys every day. Hang tough dear

[jwil59]

K...he took his cough syrup....let's see how this goes!


I pray you will sleep tonight

[Gregor]

"After all... tomorrow is another day." Scarlett O'Hara

He took the cough syrup and slept all night as did I. He is feeling much better, and while I still have "something," I wisely dragged myself into work today so I could set everything up and take tomorrow, worry free.

A combo of my venting, your wise words, and your prayers, have set me back to happy hovering!!!!

Thank you all!

[rhet 2]

"After all... tomorrow is another day." Scarlett O'Hara

He took the cough syrup and slept all night as did I. He is feeling much better, and while I still have "something," I wisely dragged myself into work today so I could set everything up and take tomorrow, worry free.

A combo of my venting, your wise words, and your prayers, have set me back to happy hovering!!!!

Thank you all!

Tha's awrigh' then -- and we'll get even when we need the venting, words, and positive vibes. :))

Praying for tomorrow's results will we be. May your day be filled with victories and cause for great joy. :hug:

[Gregor]

Tha's awrigh' then -- and we'll get even when we need the venting, words, and positive vibes. :))

Praying for tomorrow's results will we be. May your day be filled with victories and cause for great joy. :hug:

You got it...no today is a day of rest...tomorrow he goes to the doctor...and I go back to work...I realized this week that I've hung pretty tough, but there are things worrying me now about him and between that and being sick, everything is kind of weighing me down.

[jwil59]

"After all... tomorrow is another day." Scarlett O'Hara

He took the cough syrup and slept all night as did I. He is feeling much better, and while I still have "something," I wisely dragged myself into work today so I could set everything up and take tomorrow, worry free.

A combo of my venting, your wise words, and your prayers, have set me back to happy hovering!!!!

Thank you all!

God bless you. We are in this with ya for the long haul. I'm glad you got some rest.

[Gregor]

Quickie update:

So I knew he should NOT take the train into Sloan today and I happily hovered over him and drove. He has been coughing so much and I don't like his breathing at all, and then two nights in a row he had night sweats, so we thought he might have pneumonia.

His white blood cell count came up as it should have w/ the Neulasta, but his neutrofils, which give him immunity, are extremely low. They don't know what the underlying cause is. It could be whatever it is that is causing the cough or something else. The doctor is not worried that it's cancer, exactly, because the PET was so recent. The nurse practitioner (who is amazing), though, said that they will keep a close eye on him, perhaps doing a CAT and another bone marrow test if his levels don't improve. He will get a blood test near home next week, and then go into Sloan in two weeks. They did a major swab to check for viruses and took more blood...results next week. His chest x-ray was fine, so no pneumonia.

It's always the not knowing that's the hardest and there is always so much not knowing.

Onward we march.

Thanks you guys.

[rhet 2]

Quickie update:

So I knew he should NOT take the train into Sloan today and I happily hovered over him and drove. He has been coughing so much and I don't like his breathing at all, and then two nights in a row he had night sweats, so we thought he might have pneumonia.

His white blood cell count came up as it should have w/ the Neulasta, but his neutrofils, which give him immunity, are extremely low. They don't know what the underlying cause is. It could be whatever it is that is causing the cough or something else. The doctor is not worried that it's cancer, exactly, because the PET was so recent. The nurse practitioner (who is amazing), though, said that they will keep a close eye on him, perhaps doing a CAT and another bone marrow test if his levels don't improve. He will get a blood test near home next week, and then go into Sloan in two weeks. They did a major swab to check for viruses and took more blood...results next week. His chest x-ray was fine, so no pneumonia.

It's always the not knowing that's the hardest and there is always so much not knowing.

Onward we march.

Thanks you guys.

I HATE waiting for test results and "further developments" -- my fullest sympathy.

In this case, good-ish news, sort of -- but not the outstanding whoop ass ALL CLEAR we hope and pray for.

Rest and enjoy as much as you can this weekend -- try not to worry more than you can help.

I luv you. We all luv you, as a matter of fact. :hug:

[repchick]

Quickie update:

So I knew he should NOT take the train into Sloan today and I happily hovered over him and drove. He has been coughing so much and I don't like his breathing at all, and then two nights in a row he had night sweats, so we thought he might have pneumonia.

His white blood cell count came up as it should have w/ the Neulasta, but his neutrofils, which give him immunity, are extremely low. They don't know what the underlying cause is. It could be whatever it is that is causing the cough or something else. The doctor is not worried that it's cancer, exactly, because the PET was so recent. The nurse practitioner (who is amazing), though, said that they will keep a close eye on him, perhaps doing a CAT and another bone marrow test if his levels don't improve. He will get a blood test near home next week, and then go into Sloan in two weeks. They did a major swab to check for viruses and took more blood...results next week. His chest x-ray was fine, so no pneumonia.

It's always the not knowing that's the hardest and there is always so much not knowing.

Onward we march.

Thanks you guys.

So glad there was no pneumonia. With a compromised immune system that would be a hard one to fight.
I'll keep praying on this until we get the all clear from you. :hug:

[jwil59]

Quickie update:

So I knew he should NOT take the train into Sloan today and I happily hovered over him and drove. He has been coughing so much and I don't like his breathing at all, and then two nights in a row he had night sweats, so we thought he might have pneumonia.

His white blood cell count came up as it should have w/ the Neulasta, but his neutrofils, which give him immunity, are extremely low. They don't know what the underlying cause is. It could be whatever it is that is causing the cough or something else. The doctor is not worried that it's cancer, exactly, because the PET was so recent. The nurse practitioner (who is amazing), though, said that they will keep a close eye on him, perhaps doing a CAT and another bone marrow test if his levels don't improve. He will get a blood test near home next week, and then go into Sloan in two weeks. They did a major swab to check for viruses and took more blood...results next week. His chest x-ray was fine, so no pneumonia.

It's always the not knowing that's the hardest and there is always so much not knowing.

Onward we march.

Thanks you guys.

Good news about the chest film and no pneumonia.

I am praying for you guys and would like to personally thank you for the lesson in courage.

God bless

[eaglewings]

That's good news Gregor. Please pray for me, I have potentially cancerous lesions in my duodenum which means that they intend to do a Whipple procedure, cutting out entire duodenum, and twenty percent of pancreas because the pancreas shares its blood supply with that portion of the intestine. I thank you in advance for your prayers.

[jwil59]

That's good news Gregor. Please pray for me, I have potentially cancerous lesions in my duodenum which means that they intend to do a Whipple procedure, cutting out entire duodenum, and twenty percent of pancreas because the pancreas shares its blood supply with that portion of the intestine. I thank you in advance for your prayers.

Ok then I will add you to my daily prayer list. When is the procedure?

[Gregor]

That's good news Gregor. Please pray for me, I have potentially cancerous lesions in my duodenum which means that they intend to do a Whipple procedure, cutting out entire duodenum, and twenty percent of pancreas because the pancreas shares its blood supply with that portion of the intestine. I thank you in advance for your prayers.

Oh dear. Plese share the details with us as you learn them if you think it will be helpful. You have my prayers and healing vibes. All the best to you.

[Hadassah]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

[rhet 2]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

Keep us posted.

Prayers begin NOW!

[texan_rep]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

:eek:
:pray:

Don't **** around with this...

[repchick]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

Check you PM'S

[Gregor]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

You know my thoughts and prayers are with you. As we discussed, most are benign...and this is like most....that's my final word.

[bella-day]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

To the list you have been added.

Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.

[jwil59]

I wasn't planning on making this public, but as sick to my stomach as I am, I figure, the more prayers and good vibes I get, the better.

I found a lump in my breast. That, in and of itself, doesn't worry me too much, but combined with the other symptom I am having, well, I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed, the 30th, at 3:30pm (EST)

I am praying about this everyday. Hang tough, God is in control

[Hadassah]

Can I throw up now? I'm scared. :cry:

[repchick]

You can throw up now if you want.

Hun , I know you're scared. If I were there I'd go with you.

It will be alright.

Prayers going out. :hug::pray:

[rhet 2]

Can I throw up now? I'm scared. :cry:

Baby doll,, you wouldn't be human if you weren't scared.

I wish Rep and I both were with you.

Just keep reminding yourself of all the times God has dug you out of a mess in the past. Remember the car crisis? He got you through that one. He'll get you through this one, too.

:hug: :hug: :hug: a million bajillion katrillion :hug: that never end

[Gregor]

Where are we at now Hadassah???

[Hadassah]

You can throw up now if you want.

Hun , I know you're scared. If I were there I'd go with you.

It will be alright.

Prayers going out. :hug::pray:

If either you or Rhet or both of you could have come with me, one of you would have been designated driver, cause I'd have gotten seriously drunk. :))

[rhet 2]

If either you or Rhet or both of you could have come with me, one of you would have been designated driver, cause I'd have gotten seriously drunk. :))

:))

Tomorrow, more tests, right?

[Hadassah]

Where are we at now Hadassah???

At the time you posted, I was still at work. :mrgreen:


Here's what happened today: Went to the docs today at 3:30pm. Had bloodwork drawn and will have mammogram tomorrow. I have to go back in two weeks and we'll go from there. It's likely that I will need a MRI of the brain because apparently, from the preliminary exam, some of the problems I am having are resulting from an issue with my pituitary gland. I've already got cysts/tumors around the pituitary gland and my guess is that they have grown larger and are causing issues by pressing on the pituitary gland.


(The doctor asked me if I smoked pot because pot can affect the pituitary gland and cause some of the issues I am having. I laughed. (No, I don't smoke pot))