your moms favorite saying

[Kazsirk]

My mom used to say
"Get your head out of the way so you can see what your doing!"

I never got that?

[StoneScratcher]

My mother: "You're just like your father!"

My father: "You're just like your mother!"

[Mimiheart]

"Put a sweater on, I'm cold."

[MrShotShot]

Shut the **** up!!!

Just kidding.

[sgdp]

"Live and let live."

And all kinds of southern expressions, half of which I don't understand.

[JudasGoat]

when we'd pull up in our driveway she'd say "home again home again, jiggity jog."
I think the poem is jiggity-jig though. And now I say it wrong too and like it better that way.

We had this old, old really small paring knife. That thing was sharp as balls too (figuratively speaking since balls aren't really sharp). Anyway, she'd always say-even when I was a teenager--"be careful with that knfie, it'll cut your goozle!"
I'm 37 now and I still have no idea what a goozle is. But I know that knife would have cut it.

She also likes putting extra Y's in things. Calling my father an "ill-tail" was "Iyill tayol!"

[Kazsirk]

Moms have weird sayings
that make no sense to anyone but her kids know she means it.

if you fall in the lake and freeze to death, I gonna kill you!!!

oooh-KAY!

[mboncher]

One from my grandmother:

"Only a friend will tell you that you have mustard on your face."

and my mother's favorite:

"So you're going to cut your nose off to spite your face?"

[Vaard]

just wait till your dad gets home.......

[hillplus]

Every time I walked out the door on a date, my mother would say 'remember who you are' as in, you are a child of God, behave like it. Now I say it to my kids.

[Residential Bob]

"They channel through me to eat."

"They take houses from single women."

"They took Michael's leg for the movie money."

"The people from Pleiades look just like us."

"You kids got gifts from Bill Gates and Saddam Hussein."

And many others. All her sayings are original.

[Iggy]

This one ususally came after a rousing chorus of me and my sister saying, "mom... mom... hey mom... look at this mom... mom look... mom... mom lookit this... mom... hey mom..."

Stop saying "mom"! Name your foot "mom" and it will always be with you!

[Kazsirk]

I am Your MOTHER and you will do as your mother tells you....do you understand me?....now go ask you father!

[sgdp]

"That's the real McCoy"

:eh:

[Army Wife]

"Because I'm the Mom that's why"

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out..."

"That's why God gave you two..."

"If everyone else jumped off the roof would you jump too?"

[angelicmadrigal]

"I'm going to give you away to the Indians" occasionally it was "I'm going to give you away to the gypsies"

[AutoRacer55]

you little ****!

[CaptainPike]

My grandma was the best. She would look up at the ceiling while yelling at the top her lungs, shouting various obscenities at my grandpa who may or may not have been somewhere in the house at the time.

Not really a saying. More of an action that let everyone know she was about to exit reality.

[nortman]

"I hope you have a kid who acts just like you"


Dammit, she got me.

[historynut]

Go play on the freeway.

Not as bad as it sounds. When I was a kid they were building a freeway a few streets over so for years you had a large clear area where you could play and throw balls and not have to worry about breaking windows. Or have your Mom worry that a car will hit you while you were playing in the street.

[smyrna]

"A little birdy told me".






:arrow::((

[jeepers]

"This too, shall pass".

And when you really couldn't find something or something was broken beyond redemption...'it's gone the way of all things'.

[Wookinstien]

Get out of there and give someone else a chance.

and my favorite.



Just smile and nod.

[Quid]

Me: “Mom, I am broke and I just got a flat tire.”

Mom: “Tough s**t”

[Mick R.]

One from my Grandma - "Son, you need to be back in the house by 12 o'clock - you know as well as I do there ain't nothin' but the devil out there after midnight."

[brody]

"Straighten up and act like somebody."

"Act like you've had some raisin'."

[Seanachie]

From Grandma: "If you're born to be shot....you'll never be hung....why ya rushing things"

From Mom in response to a younger Brother as we watched a National Geographic segment on African Elephants:

Ed: 'Hey Ma...how long does it take for an elephant to have a baby"?

Mom: "Why? Did ya get one pregnant"?

[dbs944]

If you aren't nice I'm going to take retroactive birth control pills

Do something, even if it is wrong (generally around the bridge table)

I'll knock you into the middle of next week

[breezyjr]

"I hope you have a kid who acts just like you"


Dammit, she got me.

That actually came from my dad, I hated that curse once I had Kids.

I unleashed the exact same curse on my 18 yo son here a while back.

[Stream77]

"Do you think I'm talking to the wall"?

"Keep it up, mister, and you'll be laughing out of the other side of your face!"

"Who are you calling 'she'; 'she' is a cat!" (whenever we didn't address her properly as "Mom")

[psyko kat]

if some food or drink had a bad taste, my Mom would say,
''that's bad enough to gag a maggot''

[heritagemom]

"And, we're off like a herd of turtles" (every time we got in the car)

[RickRhetoric]

El día tiene ojos, la noche tiene oídos (The day has eyes, the night has ears).

[pattyk]

Go outside and play!

[Kazsirk]

I am so sick and tired of you...
I was scared to death...
I was sweating Blood Because of you....
you are going to be the death of me...
you might as well just shoot me...

she is still quite alive and well.

[ExDem]

I thought you were lying dead in a ditch some where.
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?

But this one question provoked sheer panic and fear:

Is there something you want to tell me?

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

I remember more the little saying my Mom used with my brothers...who are almost 12 and 10 years younger then me.

"You keep doing that and you're gonna get stuck like that!" Usually said during an ugly face contest that my brothers would do at the table while eating dinner.

"There's starving people in the world that would be happy to have that!...Eat it..it's good for you!" Oh, timeless classic. One brother actually said back "then send it to them cuz I don't like it" Got him a nice smack on the bum.

"Who do you think I am, the maid?" This usually as Mom picked up a trail of socks, shoe's and other items that were being picked up throughout the house once the boys got home from school...like a trail of bread crumbs.

"Answer me!"..boys would begin to say something which landed them this little beauty "Don't you talk back to me when I'm talking to you!" :rolleyes: real darned if you do, darned if you don't scenario there.

"If it's not bleeding or falling off then it's not that bad..Go play!" This as one of the two boys would come in whining/crying for the umpteenth time.

"I swear you gonna send me to an early grave..then what will you do?" usually repeated when one or both of the of two boys would do something dare devilish and Mom found out about it. The usual response from my little brother..."anything I want!" and run like the dickens down the hall.

LOL...I swear, I thought my brothers were going to be the end of that poor woman....Now they both have children of their own..and the Mom's curse came out as each boy had their first child at home..."may they be just like you...." From what I've heard, both boys blanched at the thought...lol.

~Mysty

[croupier101]

never cross a river without at least 4 forms of ID.

[BillBrown]

when we'd pull up in our driveway she'd say "home again home again, jiggity jog."
I think the poem is jiggity-jig though. And now I say it wrong too and like it better that way.

We had this old, old really small paring knife. That thing was sharp as balls too (figuratively speaking since balls aren't really sharp). Anyway, she'd always say-even when I was a teenager--"be careful with that knfie, it'll cut your goozle!"
I'm 37 now and I still have no idea what a goozle is. But I know that knife would have cut it.

She also likes putting extra Y's in things. Calling my father an "ill-tail" was "Iyill tayol!"

My grandmother did the "home again jiggidy-jog" thing, too. I had forgotten all about that.

Are you sure "goozle" wasn't gizzard?


She was an old time Southern Baptist.
She used to tell me that the Man in the Moon (a man-looking shadow that's on the Moon) was sent there because he burned trash on Sunday.

We couldn't do anything on Sunday except go to church.

[kat]

From Grandma:

"Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?"

from Mom:

"Life isn't fair. Never has been, never will be...... deal with it and move on!"

" Walkin ain't crowded"

" Stop pouting or an elephant will sit on your lip."

I also got the " I hope you have a kid just like you"........ I did.

[supreme_war_Pig]

Whenever we'd see a animal dead in the road, she would say:

"His mother told him not to play in the road".

Sad....but effective.

[twinheart]

hahahaha!! - I've seen a few of my Mom's favorites here already -

Who are you calling 'she'; 'she' is a cat!" (whenever we didn't address her properly as "Mom") - afavorite of Mom's -

Remember who you are - another, although both my Grandmother, who lived with us all of my life, would also echo it on the way out the door - requiring me of course to explain to my date just exactly who I was -

and yes, my Mom said that she hoped that I had a beautiful little baby just like me, with that sweet little smile - and I did - and I wished it on my own daughter, only I must have wished it too hard, because she had twins - identical girls.......

another favorite was "we've had a bit of excitement here" - which is to this day a precursor to something that went horribly wrong - last time it was my Mom breaking her arm.....any time we hear that phrase, we mentally brace for what will come next -

on and yes, the "if your friends jumped off the empire state building, would you jump too?" - Mom asked that of my sister once, saying would she do it if I did it - Dory (my sister) looked over at me, smiled and promptly said yes - but only if it was me who jumped, because I would never make her do anything that would hurt her - it was funny watching my Mom going between exasperation, to pride, to fear to love - my sister is my best friend, and that is entirely due to the way that we were raised - funny sayings and all -

[betwixt]

"You do/say that one more time and you'll be picking your self up off the floor"

[snagswolf]

When I looked like I was beginning to cry, my grandmother would say, "You better stick that lip back in before some bird comes by and ****s on it."

Grandma wasn't the cuddling type.

[ThrowCop]

"How can someone who's supposed to be so smart do something sooooooooo darn stupid?"

"I'll be surprised if you see your 18th birthday!"


I got those a lot...

[Justus]

"Move your hands!"


That's pretty much all I remember. My mother was a young one, and not very wise.

[srbedgood]

Don't put that in your mouth you don't know where it's been!

[betwixt]

for sweet pitty's sakes.

"bless your little pea pickin heart".. . . no idea what if means fully, she said it.

[ISYairio]

I brought you into this world and I can take you out.

Keep it up and I'll give you to the black people down the road. (??? She prefers to date black guys wth?)

So? Do as I say not as I do.

And? I am Mom - if you don't like it you can get out of under my roof.

Move your hands!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Poor Mom, perhaps if she had actually followed through enough to scare my sister. :neutral:

[Kazsirk]

She would ball up her fist and shake it under my nose and say "I am going to knock you flat".. or "into next week".. or "out cold".. or "your block off"...

She only ever slapped us and never actually punched us with her fist.

her slaps worked pretty good.

she was also good at pointing and making me figure out what she was pointing at.

[MattieV]

"Dare to be different."
And, "Your future lies before you like a path of fallen snow. Be careful how you tread it for every step will show." (I know she didn't make this one up, but I don't know where it came from.) It did, however, make me pause to think before making some important decisions in my life.

[Kazsirk]

"Dare to be different."
And, "Your future lies before you like a path of fallen snow. Be careful how you tread it for every step will show." (I know she didn't make this one up, but I don't know where it came from.) It did, however, make me pause to think before making some important decisions in my life.

That is a good thought....

what if I pee in the snow mom?

hee hee

[JeffM]

"If you get killed, I'll hurt you."

[Lego-Man]

"Did your mother have any kids that lived"?

[MattieV]

That is a good thought....

what if I pee in the snow mom?

hee hee

:D:DThen you'll leave a clear, colorful and easy path to follow!:angel::angel: ha ha

[SaintVegas]

Whenever I left a mess in my room, my mother would inevitably say,

"Were you born in a barn?!"

I never understood this......I always wanted to say, "I don't know, weren't you there?"

[GoBucks]

"I hope you have a kid who acts just like you"


Dammit, she got me.


The "Mother's Curse".... my mom got me too!

[ScottFree]

"Wait till your Father gets home!"
I am 5th of 6 kids. When my mom really got mad at one of us, she sould shout our name. Only she was so flustered, she would forgot what your name was, so she would say all of our names. Sometimes she'd even yell the dog's name. "Mark!.. Roy!...Spot!... Scott!!!! Get over here right now!" It was quite funny. Until dad got home, that is.

[GoBucks]

for years I thought my name was "dammit Jennifer"

[Ballygrl]

"If you're going to join other people and jump on someone (she meant verbally) just stop for a minute and realize they have a Mother that loves them".

[RTchoke]

"I hope you have a kid who acts just like you"


Dammit, she got me.

Hubby says his mom always used to say that too. Whenever DD does something he brings that up. I've always asked him "yeah, but what the hell did I ever do to your mother to deserve this?"

I never get an answer. :eh:

:D

[ScottFree]

I always loved this from Bill Cosby

"Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that."

[JoJo626]

You can put on enough clothes to get warm, but you can't get nekkid (naked) enough to get cool.

grinning like a run-over dog.

hungry as a wild ape

if your brains were cotton, it wouldn't make a tampon for a flea

[janer]

I don't remember what it was, but I'm sure if she said it once, she said it a hundred times.

[alexz2317]

ACHTUNG!!!!, she was German by the way :razz:

[JenyEliza]

Oh.....so many many gems from my Mom.

Here's the best of her classics:

"Use your head for something besides a hat rack"

I've (put away, washed, vacuumed, whatever)....7,482 times. (precisely THAT number and ALWAYS THAT NUMBER).

"If wishes were nickels, I'd be rich"

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

"Go to your room"

"You're grounded until you're 42"
(I will be 47 in December, so I am NO LONGER GROUNDED YAY()

I'll have to think on this more.... :D

ETA:

My grandmother's all-time favorite:

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph"....(if she was just a bit ticked off)

If she was REALLY REALLY ticked off it was:

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph......and the wee damned Donkey too" (God bless her Irish-Catholic soul, may she RIP).
(which meant to us grandkids to head for the hills, Grandmom is going to lose it).

[JenyEliza]

"Wait till your Father gets home!"
I am 5th of 6 kids. When my mom really got mad at one of us, she sould shout our name. Only she was so flustered, she would forgot what your name was, so she would say all of our names. Sometimes she'd even yell the dog's name. "Mark!.. Roy!...Spot!... Scott!!!! Get over here right now!" It was quite funny. Until dad got home, that is.

I'm one of 4. My Mom would "call roll" too when she was really mad.

OR....she would start using first and middle names and get 'em screwed up.

"Michael Anne" quickly became a fun joke in our house! LOL

Not that my brother appreciated that.

[alexz2317]

"Quit acting like your father"!!

[Stuball]

If I had cats before I had kids I never wouldve had kids

[Missy2]

when we'd pull up in our driveway she'd say "home again home again, jiggity jog."
I think the poem is jiggity-jig though. And now I say it wrong too and like it better that way.

We had this old, old really small paring knife. That thing was sharp as balls too (figuratively speaking since balls aren't really sharp). Anyway, she'd always say-even when I was a teenager--"be careful with that knfie, it'll cut your goozle!"
I'm 37 now and I still have no idea what a goozle is. But I know that knife would have cut it.

She also likes putting extra Y's in things. Calling my father an "ill-tail" was "Iyill tayol!"

Did we have the same mother?

Actually, she's right with the jiggity-jog" as it's the second verse of the poem...the first is buy a fat pig...the second is buy a fat hog...so the last word changes to rhyme. :-)

Your "goozle" is your throat. When some one got choked, my mom would say it went down the wrong "goozle hole"....lol

[jeepers]

My grandmother's all-time favorite:

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph"....(if she was just a bit ticked off)

If she was REALLY REALLY ticked off it was:

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph......and the wee damned Donkey too" (God bless her Irish-Catholic soul, may she RIP).
(which meant to us grandkids to head for the hills, Grandmom is going to lose it).

I remember that conversation way back when you told me about the donkey add-on to this one. Told my mother and she cracked up.

Last time that *I* used "Jesus, Mary, Joseph"...?

Yesterday, when my son was caught doing something dangerous. :lol:

(and everytime NOW, I think in my head "...and the wee donkey, too!"

:lol: :hug:

[JenyEliza]

I remember that conversation way back when you told me about the donkey add-on to this one. Told my mother and she cracked up.

Last time that *I* used "Jesus, Mary, Joseph"...?

Yesterday, when my son was caught doing something dangerous. :lol:

(and everytime NOW, I think in my head "...and the wee donkey, too!"

:lol: :hug:

I'm glad that wee donkey helps you and that he cracked your Mom up! :hug: :mrgreen:

Thank YOU for allowing me to share a little of my Grandmother's love. Believe it or not, even when she pulled out that wee damned donkey, it was always out of love.

Like it or not, she had an Irish temper. As do I (her namesake and look alike, same as my daughter who looks like us both and carries her middle name). The way she was raised to handle her temper was to be as "ladylike" as possible. "The wee damned donkey" was as vulgar as she got--ever. So we knew she was very serious when that poor donkey got trotted out. :))

When I was little, I used to envision Jesus, Mary and Joseph dragging out a very hesitant donkey on a rope to take his lickings whenever she'd say "wee damned donkey". LOL :))