Canadian Researchers: We're Screwed if Zombies Ever Attack

[Iggy]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/uc/20090920/od_notw/nwx090920xml

LEAD STORY: Based on models of rampant infectious diseases, say researchers, civilization would be doomed if we were ever attacked by zombies.

If society were ever attacked by zombies, we would probably be doomed, and quickly. That was the conclusion of two university researchers in Ottawa, Ontario, who set up mathematical models hypothesizing zombie attacks as infectious diseases with the well-known characteristics of zombie biology from popular fiction. In fact, according to a July BBC News report, zombies are more threatening than virulent diseases because they can regenerate (unless decapitated or incinerated, of course). More troubling was the researchers' presumption that zombies move slowly, as in older movies, but in recent fiction, they're super-quick, making them nearly invincible. [BBC News, 7-18-09]
OMG!

[Army Wife]

Let's see...


Flame thrower...check
High powered Salt water hose...Check
Maltov cocktails....check
Dry ice...check
Property with a large cliff...check
Guillotine/Chainsaw...check


OK Iggy I am all set and ready for the invasion!

[super cool ski instructor]

:neutral:

[Iggy]

Let's see...


Flame thrower...check
High powered Salt water hose...Check
Maltov cocktails....check
Dry ice...check
Property with a large cliff...check
Guillotine/Chainsaw...check


OK Iggy I am all set and ready for the invasion!
You sound like you're ready. The last time I was attacked by zombies all I had was a wooden stake, a gun with silver bullets and a flask of holy water. Boy was I embarrassed. :redface:

[ALBOB2]

Let's see...


Flame thrower...check
High powered Salt water hose...Check
Maltov cocktails....check
Dry ice...check
Property with a large cliff...check
Guillotine/Chainsaw...check


OK Iggy I am all set and ready for the invasion!


Between my wife and I we have about 10,000 rounds of ammunition, the guns to shoot it with and all the skill necessary to use it well. Mind if we park our camper on your property? :cool:

[chip]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/

[gdoane]

They're Canadians. The only fights they've ever won were in a hockey rink. Of course they'd be doomed, unless they could get the zombies to join the NHL.

[Samm]

Between my wife and I we have about 10,000 rounds of ammunition, the guns to shoot it with and all the skill necessary to use it well. Mind if we park our camper on your property? :cool:

You are in for as big of a surprise as Iggy had... Zombies are already dead; guns don't do anything unless you blow their heads off. And a simple head shot won't do it... you gotta explode the sucker like a ripe watermelon.

[Samm]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/

Plot Summary for Zombieland

"In the horror comedy Zombieland focuses on two men who have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss -- but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-toting, zombie-slaying' bad ass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies."

I can hardly wait to find out how they do it... ;)


I wonder if they fool the Zombies into thinking that they are zombies too, by acting like Far Left Liberals... :think:

[Buffalo]

http://www.zombiesurvivalwiki.com/page/How+to+Kill+a+Zombie
good info here.

Thing is, are we talking about 28 days later type zombies, night of the living dead zombies, I am legend zombies? We really need more info to plan for our defenses. You go to war with the zombies with the army you have. We need to have the proper army.

[Buffalo]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/
Great potential.

[Creefer]

I saw the previews for Zombieland. Can't wait, might be the first movie I see in a theatre in about a decade.

It's like Left 4 Dead: The movie.

[MrShotShot]

If we're talking Romero zombies, we might have a chance. If it's the new-age runner types, we're screwed.

Can't wait to see Zombieland. Left 4 Dead 2 is also coming out later this fall and World War Z is in production.

[snagswolf]

I'd say with the huge popularity of video games like Resident Evil, there's a very large segment of the population already trained to handle zombie attacks.

I'm not worried.

BTW, do zombies have 2nd Amendment rights? Are we allowed to pry their guns from their cold dead fingers?

[Justus]

Yeah, depends on how powerful these things are... If they can hold and use weapons we're screwed, but I think after all the games and movies people get the idea. Of course it's much easier said/watched than done.

There are communities online completely dedicated to real zombie survival, it's crazy :eek: Most people expect there to be zombies similar to those in 28 days later (good movie), they're not your average kind that slowly walk toward you moaning.

[Samm]

I'd say with the huge popularity of video games like Resident Evil, there's a very large segment of the population already trained to handle zombie attacks.

I'm not worried.

BTW, do zombies have 2nd Amendment rights? Are we allowed to pry their guns from their cold dead fingers?

Relax... I don't think we are talking Rob Zombie... ;)

[ALBOB2]

You are in for as big of a surprise as Iggy had... Zombies are already dead; guns don't do anything unless you blow their heads off. And a simple head shot won't do it... you gotta explode the sucker like a ripe watermelon.


You obviously have no idea what type of guns I'm talking about. :twisted:

For instance, you ever seen the Charles Bronson movie Death Wish 3? In it he introduced an entire town of thugs to his friend Wildey. Wildey was a .475 Wildey Magnum. Charles and I have the same friend.;)



http://www.308sniper.com/images/wildey.jpg

[Andrew_980]

Shot guns, high powered rifles and a falcatta (a greek weapon built for removing heads and limbs) and a plan of where to go. I'm all set.

[Samm]

You obviously have no idea what type of guns I'm talking about. :twisted:

For instance, you ever seen the Charles Bronson movie Death Wish 3? In it he introduced an entire town of thugs to his friend Wildey. Wildey was a .475 Wildey Magnum. Charles and I have the same friend.;)

http://www.308sniper.com/images/wildey.jpg
You have two of those and 10,000 rounds of ammunition for them!? :eek:

(... and a wife that can shoot one!!!! :eek: :eek:)

You must be one of those rich Republicans we keep hearing about. :razz:

[DRS]

Simple solution, wait for winter then freeze the entire nation and then get a few hundred zambonis and then starting in the centre of the country going east west and south just start clearing the path, the rest can can grab brooms and clear the part and I will be there in yelling hurry hard. :D

[Dual867PowerMac]

Remember this classic?

[CaptainPike]

I know we're talking Canada, but was this research done with tax money from Canadians?

[blackcatrun]

A virus hit a ship in the carribion sea called the sweats in 1831. The infections spread was fast and effectively spread to every thing that boarded the ship with in hours. The Britsh navy quaunteened the ship as the crew was discribed as mad and looked dead fearing the crew would escape the ship the Navy decided to burn the ship with all aboard rather than let the new sickness spread to land so they towed it to open water and burned it.

They stopped ships from landing for months after until the crew was cleared fearing this odd plauge.

[angelicmadrigal]

You sound like you're ready. The last time I was attacked by zombies all I had was a wooden stake, a gun with silver bullets and a flask of holy water. Boy was I embarrassed. :redface:

Well obviously you failed, you were preparing for an attack by werewolves or vampires.

[gdoane]

Remember this classic?

I'm a gamer. I've got the Genesis cartridge in my hand. I don't have to remember the LucasArts game "Zombies Ate My Neighbors", I can play it in a minute flat.

The tagline is "The Neighbors Are Just Dying to Meet You!"

The game has a twisted sense of humor. The boss's name is "Dr. Tongue".

[AeroEngineer]

I know we're talking Canada, but was this research done with tax money from Canadians?

It was a infection simulation with custom transmission variables. The guys just made it about zombies to get mainstream publicity (it worked).

[ThrowCop]

I'm gonna be at Albob's if anyone needs to reach me...

[OldBuzzard]

Here's a good instructional video: "What to do in a Zombie Attack".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj7HMhIIAYU

[Hereintheusa]

I recommend Brian Keenes The Rising series (read the Rising first), forget everything you know about zombies because Keene's zombie apocalypse will make you want to take that gun and put it to your own head.

[Hereintheusa]

BTW as someone once said "swords dont need reloading"

[Army Wife]

You sound like you're ready. The last time I was attacked by zombies all I had was a wooden stake, a gun with silver bullets and a flask of holy water. Boy was I embarrassed. :redface:


Oh man I forgot the Holy Water!!
:((

[Army Wife]

Between my wife and I we have about 10,000 rounds of ammunition, the guns to shoot it with and all the skill necessary to use it well. Mind if we park our camper on your property? :cool:

Sure you can and I will even roll out the 100' hose and let you hook it up to your water tank...now I just have to decide what I am gonna charge you for rent. Unless you want to walk the perimeter at night to protect us from nighttime invasions. :mrgreen:

[The Girl from Ipanema]

:)) I love you guys :))

[Dual867PowerMac]

I'm a gamer. I've got the Genesis cartridge in my hand. I don't have to remember the LucasArts game "Zombies Ate My Neighbors", I can play it in a minute flat.

The tagline is "The Neighbors Are Just Dying to Meet You!"

The game has a twisted sense of humor. The boss's name is "Dr. Tongue".
"Terror in Aisle 5."

:))

[Panhead0422]

Plot Summary for Zombieland

"In the horror comedy Zombieland focuses on two men who have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss -- but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-toting, zombie-slaying' bad ass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies."

I can hardly wait to find out how they do it... ;)


I wonder if they fool the Zombies into thinking that they are zombies too, by acting like Far Left Liberals... :think:

DAMN IT!!!!! Stop insulting zombies by comparing them with liberals. The zombies have a much higher intelligence level.:mrgreen:

[Panhead0422]

I'd say with the huge popularity of video games like Resident Evil, there's a very large segment of the population already trained to handle zombie attacks.

I'm not worried.

BTW, do zombies have 2nd Amendment rights? Are we allowed to pry their guns from their cold dead fingers?

:doh::)):)):))

[Dragon1963]

My list:

Aluminum baseball bat...check
Cave with concrete and steel blast door...work in progress
Canned food.....not enough
Instant Ramen....need more
9mm pistol with expanding tip ammo....check
Riot Shotgun....buy
Shotgun ammo(slug and shot).....buy
Reloading equipment and supplies for it...buy

Uh.....can we put the invasion off for about 25 years?

[Claymore]

They're Canadians. The only fights they've ever won were in a hockey rink. Of course they'd be doomed, unless they could get the zombies to join the NHL.

Curling! Heave curling stones at the zombies! Knock flat on their butts to freeze on the ice!

[VCaddy05]

You are in for as big of a surprise as Iggy had... Zombies are already dead; guns don't do anything unless you blow their heads off. And a simple head shot won't do it... you gotta explode the sucker like a ripe watermelon.

in the more recent movies they ar just infected not dead. kinda like rabies or something, in the classics they are already dead and you have to blow their heads off! So i guess it depends on what senario

[VCaddy05]

My list:

Aluminum baseball bat...check
Cave with concrete and steel blast door...work in progress
Canned food.....not enough
Instant Ramen....need more
9mm pistol with expanding tip ammo....check
Riot Shotgun....buy
Shotgun ammo(slug and shot).....buy
Reloading equipment and supplies for it...buy

Uh.....can we put the invasion off for about 25 years?

my list:

Bat: check
plenty of firearms: check
Ammo: ehh... never enough
canned food: need more
Romen: check
underground bunker on 100 acre ranch: on the wish list

[Fitz]

No cricket bats yet?

[Samm]

No cricket bats yet?

Ever try to take a head off with a cricket bat? Not very efficient... :neutral:

[Fitz]

Ever try to take a head off with a cricket bat? Not very efficient... :neutral:
I'm sad now... someone please restore my faith in the forums.
I'll be at the Winchester if you need me.

[Wookinstien]

If the Zombies do rise then I will arm myself with and AA12 and crates of Sabot rounds and Dragonsbreath rounds.

and a box of Jerky.....

[gdoane]

Ever try to take a head off with a cricket bat? Not very efficient... :neutral:

Go into a redneck sports bar and accuse people of owning a cricket bat. You'll get your head knocked off, all right.

[NascarGirl2448]

Someone's been watching too many sci-fi movies.

[gdoane]

Someone's been watching too many sci-fi movies.

That's like being too rich or too good looking. Ain't possible.

[NascarGirl2448]

That's like being too rich or too good looking. Ain't possible.

:)) How else would the Canadians ever think zombies were going to attack?

[Vic Daring]

I'm sad now... someone please restore my faith in the forums.
I'll be at the Winchester if you need me.

The Winchester!

(Or you may want to try decapitating them with old vinyl LPs.)

[ALBOB2]

You have two of those and 10,000 rounds of ammunition for them!? :eek:

(... and a wife that can shoot one!!!! :eek: :eek:)

You must be one of those rich Republicans we keep hearing about. :razz:


No, no; we only have one of those. (It's the only gun I have that she doesn't out shoot me with, it's just too big for her hands.) Her big boomer is a .454 Casull. And the 10,000 rounds is of various calibers.

But yes, we are those evil rich Republicans you keep hearing about. :twisted:

[ALBOB2]

Sure you can and I will even roll out the 100' hose and let you hook it up to your water tank...now I just have to decide what I am gonna charge you for rent. Unless you want to walk the perimeter at night to protect us from nighttime invasions. :mrgreen:


Oh absolutely. I've seen enough scary movies to know, night time is when all the fun happens.:dance:

[gdoane]

:)) How else would the Canadians ever think zombies were going to attack?

I figured they got the idea from Canada's national health care rationing that makes them wait until they're either better or dead.

[Dragon1963]

I figured they got the idea from Canada's national health care rationing that makes them wait until they're either better or dead.

Would becoming a zombie mean you got better? :think:

[supreme_war_Pig]

Let's see...


Flame thrower...check
High powered Salt water hose...Check
Maltov cocktails....check
Dry ice...check
Property with a large cliff...check
Guillotine/Chainsaw...check


OK Iggy I am all set and ready for the invasion!

I have said it before, and I'll say it again:

I, for one, am waiting with great anticipation for the zombies to come!

[nebcon]

:)) How else would the Canadians ever think zombies were going to attack?

Because they saw the two people Americans voted for last year.

[blackcatrun]

Because they saw the two people Americans voted for last year.

ooooh man, that hurt.

[Army Wife]

and a box of Jerky.....

Well don't come looking for a handout if all you are bringing to the party is one lil ol' box of jerky!


:mrgreen:

[Army Wife]

Oh absolutely. I've seen enough scary movies to know, night time is when all the fun happens.:dance:

Well you go have fun but make sure itd done quietly so I can get up early and make waffles for breakfast... :cool:

[Samm]

Go into a redneck sports bar and accuse people of owning a cricket bat. You'll get your head knocked off, all right.

"Cricket anyone?" :mrgreen:

http://tonysleep.co.uk/system/files/images/1165_11a.jpg




... that's a little big... I couldn't find a smaller appropriate one. You can delete it. ;)

[Fitz]

"Cricket anyone?" :mrgreen:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/__HtUh2-43JE/RxmFyzVjt7I/AAAAAAAAARs/ffIv_Bolss8/s400/shaunofthedead.jpg
Cheers to vic

[Samm]

Cheers to vic

Sorry I missed the reference... that is not the kind of movie I would ever notice let alone go see. ;)

[Old_Mil]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/uc/20090920/od_notw/nwx090920xml


OMG!

So long as you have a good 20 sided die that you can roll well, you'll be set.

Alternative view: Zombies attacked in November 2008, and yes - we're all going to die.

[Wookinstien]

Well don't come looking for a handout if all you are bringing to the party is one lil ol' box of jerky!


:mrgreen:

Its a BIG box.. :))

[Army Wife]

Its a BIG box.. :))

Well in that case...com'on down I'll have you park your trailer next to ALBOB...

[gdoane]

Zombies Unite! Form a Political Party! Take the Undead Vote back from the Democrats and ACORN!

Reasons why Zombies should be Conservatives:

1. Don't want no stinkin' health care.
2. Been taxed to death already.
3. No need for Cradle To Grave government.
4. If it's green then it's about to fall off.
5. Looking for brains and can't find them in liberals.

[Vic Daring]

Zombies Unite! Form a Political Party! Take the Undead Vote back from the Democrats and ACORN!

Reasons why Zombies should be Conservatives:

1. Don't want no stinkin' health care.
2. Been taxed to death already.
3. No need for Cradle To Grave government.
4. If it's green then it's about to fall off.
5. Looking for brains and can't find them in liberals.

See, now that's funny.

Good stuff.

[Army Wife]

Zombies Unite! Form a Political Party! Take the Undead Vote back from the Democrats and ACORN!

Reasons why Zombies should be Conservatives:

1. Don't want no stinkin' health care.
2. Been taxed to death already.
3. No need for Cradle To Grave government.
4. If it's green then it's about to fall off.
5. Looking for brains and can't find them in liberals.

Now that is high comedy there people! :)) :))