Bullying in America

[ConservativeCody]

When I went to middle school, I went to a school called Truesdell Middle School in Wichita, Ks. The name soon changed from Truesdell to TrueHell for me. Because that school was a living nightmare for all three years I went there. Those three years were the worst of my entire life.
I was constantly made fun of the entire time at that school, and there was nothing the current administration could do about it. How can you stop words? How can you control the words that come out of a teenagers mouth? I was miserable the entire time I was there. I was constantly hit, slapped, bookchecked ( They knocked the books out of your hands, and yelled in your face “Bookcheck!”), pushed, shoved, called names. And nothing could be done about it. The bullies were just allowed to pick on me because the school couldn’t do anything about words, only actions. If only they realized bullying as an action sooner.

A lot of bad things have happened because of bullying. There have been school shootings, suicides, and hospitalizations because of bullying. What has America done about this? Bullying needs to be stopped. A slap on the wrist and a three day suspension is not cutting it. They are just come to come back to school with twice the vindictive and completely molest the victim with harsh words again.
Sure, you can say that they are just words, that they have no effect, that the person can just ignore them. But do you know how hard it is for a teenager to ignore words. During middle school is when alot of kids LOW self-esteem is at an ALL-TIME-HIGH, thier bodies are changing and they are constantly aware of what other people are thinking of them. Words to them and about them have a huge impact on thier lives.
I went to the principles office so many times because i wanted these bullies gone. They were making my life a living hell and i wasnt going to spend the rest of my middle school life in constant fear of getting made fun of. How sick is that? How sick is the administration to allow something as cancerous as bullying to take root in thier school? Why did i have to go to school afraid, why should any kid be put in that situation?
I was considering suicide. I couldnt deal with it anymore. I had no friends, i was constantly made fun of, i was constantly pick on. I would almost cry everytime i woke up on the weekdays because i knew i had another day of hell to go through. There was nothing i could do about it. I tried fighting back, i would get into alot of fights, it got so bad, that the administrators made ME out to be the bully, and that the bullies were the victims. Such Bull%&$^. The school councelor tried telling my parents that sometimes, when a kid is bullied so much, that.. "They become the bullies".
I Realized that bullies, can be easily compared to vicious, bloodthirsty animals known as Wolves. I swear they can sense the fear in thier prey, then they lock on to thier target and close in. Cause, bullies are like a pack of wolves, they are strong in a pack, they find strength in numbers, but get them alone, and the worst they can do is snarl and growl.

The thing about me is though, is I never instigated anything. I never talked to anyone at that school. I was a mute. I realized then, that there was no point in suicide, that there was no point in partaking in drugs or alchohol, i realized, because of these idiots, that there was no point in arguing with ignorance. So i let them have thier fun, i let them harass me, i let them become the monsters they are destined to become. I decided to just let them fail in life, i would never see them again anyways.
When i was in middle school, i was verbally and physically assaulted every day, it got to the point where i hung out in the one place bullies stayed away from. The library. During this time, i found a love for books that i never had before. Before i was bullied, i never picked up a book. I discovered a way to escape from the real world, to ignore everything they say and do to me, all i had to do was flip the page and read on.
Unfortunately, not everyone can escape like i can. Something has to be done for those kids out there that are getting bullies. Its not fair to them, and its not fair to the parents when something bad happens to thier kid. What can be done about bullying?

Sorry its such a long post, but i was inspired by another teen suicide that happened yesterday, becuase of bullying. This bullying situation is getting out of hand and something needs to be done about it.

[ConservativeCody]

is there really a reason for bullying? is there? i would love to hear one single reason why bullying would be acceptable.

I also want to understand WHY people bully, i have never seen the point in it. I just want to understand what gives these kids the right to be total Ass-Holes...

[ConservativeCody]

also, i think that the punishment for bullying should be more severe, and that the kid take some anger management courses, becuase to verbally assualt someone until they cry, and laugh at them while they are crying, that is sick. there is...... something is seriously wrong with that child.

[mgifford]

is there really a reason for bullying? is there? i would love to hear one single reason why bullying would be acceptable.

I also want to understand WHY people bully, i have never seen the point in it. I just want to understand what gives these kids the right to be total Ass-Holes...

It makes the bullier feel better about himself to pick on others. A swift kick in the balls would have helped in the beginning. Plus, the thing to do on first day of school is to jump the biggest student you can find & try to kick his ass. After that your bad days will be over.

[sgdp]

I was bullied mercilessly though I had a small group of uber nerd "friends", term of endearment used loosely.

Funny, "The Boxer" just came on my iPod.

There's a lack of respect, for sure. But bullying is nothing new, and quite possibly instinctively alpha dominance-driven. Just the human way. :)

[jeepers]

Just the human way.

Oh, no it iisn't.

It's parents who accept this behavior in thier kids and the loose them on society. When you go 'it's just junior being junior', then it's excused, supported and ultimately reinforced to continue.

I'm not talking about the occasional fair scuffle between two kids who haven't learned yet that you really don't put your hands on other people. I'm talking about the pack mentaility that weeds out kids like struggling antelope on the Serengeti.

I was tortured in middle school by a couple of girls myself. For what? Going to school, being a good student and minding my own business. I eventually learned to stand there and stink eye them but that took a couple of years. Before that, had a girlfriend who was much tougher than me that ran shotgun. I eventually got to a point where I stood them down and they never bothered me again.

This is where children start the process of turning into *******s as adults. I've told my own middle schooler: Some of these kids will grow up to regret their behavior and actually turn into nice people. And some of these kids will absolutely not, will continue it. This is how small people turn into adult jerks. And if it's bad enough, criminals.

Step one in the process of decreasing the incidence: Stop tolerating it.

[malnila]

Oh, no it iisn't.

It's parents who accept this behavior in thier kids and the loose them on society. When you go 'it's just junior being junior', then it's excused, supported and ultimately reinforced to continue.

I'm not talking about the occasional fair scuffle between two kids who haven't learned yet that you really don't put your hands on other people. I'm talking about the pack mentaility that weeds out kids like struggling antelope on the Serengeti.

I was tortured in middle school by a couple of girls myself. For what? Going to school, being a good student and minding my own business. I eventually learned to stand there and stink eye them but that took a couple of years. Before that, had a girlfriend who was much tougher than me that ran shotgun. I eventually got to a point where I stood them down and they never bothered me again.

This is where children start the process of turning into *******s as adults. I've told my own middle schooler: Some of these kids will grow up to regret their behavior and actually turn into nice people. And some of these kids will absolutely not, will continue it. This is how small people turn into adult jerks. And if it's bad enough, criminals.

Step one in the process of decreasing the incidence: Stop tolerating it.

Good post! Bullying will only get to you if you allow it. Sometimes if you try to make friends and they don't want to, they wind up making themselves look stupid. I know it's hard to ignore but standing up for yourself or just ignoring and especially acting like the bullying doesn't get to you works wonders.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

First off, Conservative Cody...type in the word you wish to use..and let the word filter do it's work. You don't have to come up with creative ways of forming a curse word..the word filter does it for you. Remember to take a quick look at the forum rules on this..and you'll be in the clear. You may wish to go back and edit a few words in your first posts in this thread...type the word you wish to use..and let the word filter do the rest. ;)

Bullying. What can one say other then it's a multifaceted issue. Not all bullying is equal. Some kids bully due to a home environment that is unbearable, and they, these kids, need to feel empowered somewhere in their lives. Other kids, well, it's just part of their growing up process and grow out of it becoming healthy normal adults years later. Some kids engage in bullying as part of a 'pack mentality' of the group they are socializing in. Regardless of what type of bully or for what reasons one bullies...it has the same result on their victims...torture.

Where bullying gets stunted and stopped is when the person being bullied puts a stop to it. When the victim turns the tables and addresses the bullying to a point of stopping it. I know, some will say it's easier said then done...but all victims of bullies must cross the same bridge...fear. Take fear out of the equation...take away the response the bully is looking for..and you become less interesting to said bully..and they move on to greener pastors for someone who will give them that power feed of fear.

Each child must find their own way to deal with the 'fear' aspect of being bullied. Meaning, what works for one child does not mean it will work for another. Having a parent the child can talk too and help guide the child to self propagate the inner courage to deal with the issue by themselves is paramount. Having a parent try to deal with the bullying issue only makes it worse...like a pig to the spit, the bullies become merciless. Encouraging a child to find self fortitude...teaching the child what the bullying is and why it's happening..and helping the child to find his or her own voice is important. Most of all, it's up to the child being bullied that must find his or her own way to deal with the solution. In that, is a strong foundation on which that child will grow upon in later years.

Now physical bullying...kids getting beaten up by said bullies...whole new scenario...whole different flavor of bully. The school can and usually do deal with these types of bullies. It's the non-violent verbal bullies that get to slid under the radar. ;)

All that being said...exactly what do you want a school to do? Give a good talking too a parent and student who are sighted as bullies? What good is that going to do if said parent believes his or her little angle is perfect? Just how effective do you think that really is? Do you want kids to become daily complainers? Whining over every little perceived hurt by fellow students? How does that help the child who is facing a bully learn to deal with those types of personalities? The school can only do so much....so what exactly do you want them to institute upon the whole student body exactly? How would you 'fix' this specific issue?

~Mysty

[TonkaTim]

Man things have changed alot since I was in school.

Back in my day when someone was caught bullying they taken out behind the school handed a pair of boxing gloves as the principal rounded up the biggest kid in school and handed him a pair of boxing gloves as well if it was a big kid picking on a small one.

If they we caught fighting out came the gloves and they fought till exhausted or till one admitted defeat.

For the most part we had very little trouble, almost all the boys had pocket knives. We did not think of them as weapons, they were tools. Seeing rifles and shotguns hanging from racks was quite common on school grounds and nothing ever got shot. Except targets around Thanksgiving when we had the annual Turkey Shoot.

[notluzn]

If you're having problem now because of something that happend years ago, you need help. Either you stand up for yourself or get ran over. When I cam e to AZ and I had a Bully come up to me one time and it was his last because I broke his nose and tore his ear when I hit him upside the head.

If you have a kid that is bullied tell him or her to knock the hell out of the other kid because a bully doesn't like to do real battle. BTW, yes I got into trouble but it was worth it. Wow one day in detention. LMAO

[notluzn]

BTW, Bullying has been around for ever and is also in the Animal Kingdom so it's natural, but like I said, stand up to them and they will stop the bullying.

[mgifford]

If you're having problem now because of something that happend years ago, you need help. Either you stand up for yourself or get ran over. When I cam e to AZ and I had a Bully come up to me one time and it was his last because I broke his nose and tore his ear when I hit him upside the head.

If you have a kid that is bullied tell him or her to knock the hell out of the other kid because a bully doesn't like to do real battle. BTW, yes I got into trouble but it was worth it. Wow one day in detention. LMAO

Finally someone who agrees that "passivsm" is useless. For many years the "useless" government schools have tried to tell kids that they should let everyone kick their ass & then to turn around & kiss theirs. Obama, the appeaser is showing this week exactly what I'm speaking of. Evil people around the world aren't concerned with holding hands hands & singing "kum ba ya".

They want to dominate the world as they talk the most powerful country in the world into being a wimpy, scared, useless, entity that wreaks of a country that needs badly to stand up to the other powers of the world.

When I was in the lower grades, I was picked on a little bit. By the time I was ready to go to seventh grade, I remember telling my older friend how scared I was of going up & that I was so afraid I would be really picked on. He told me this: you'll have to start standing up for yourself & give it to them first.

When I went into the seventh, I picked the biggest boy in the school, & started a fight with him. The teacher came up & grabbed both our arms to take us to the principle. As she was walking along with us, I stated kicking him across & in front of her.

I was always very small, but from then on I never worried about bulling. Anyone who started telling me they wanted to fight, I popped them in the mouth first. I was still small when I entered the Military. A cook was serving one Sunday morning & for some reason he said I smarted off to him. I didn't necessarily.

Anyway, he saw me out that Saturday nite & told me to go outside from a club. I looked at his "twice my size" frame (he had been a boxer for a while) & said "I don't think so". I hit him in the head with a mug, which cut his ear off. When he went to the hospital, where they sewed it back on (it was only hanging from his loab).

The next weekend he came up to me again & ordered me outside. I reluctantly agreed & he nearly killed me before a bunch of people pulled me off. A couple of my friends smarted off to him after that & he smashed their "cheek bone" with an awesome right. From those days on I wasn't ever scared of anyone, even in 23 years as a cop. In fact, maybe that's why I became a cop.

Anyone who is pathetic enough to be an appeaser & to show the world that our country will fold under any threat will see the day that they will regret it. The socialist/communist thugs want us to fold so they can rule over us.

[ConservativeCody]

All that being said...exactly what do you want a school to do? Give a good talking too a parent and student who are sighted as bullies? What good is that going to do if said parent believes his or her little angle is perfect?
~Mysty

Children are a reflection of the parent, tell the parent what the kid is doing. If they dont care, then wound thier pride. Get them on the defensive so they take care of thier kid, to show that they can be a good parent and not allow this to happen.

Just how effective do you think that really is? Do you want kids to become daily complainers? Whining over every little perceived hurt by fellow students? How does that help the child who is facing a bully learn to deal with those types of personalities?

Thats the thing, you shouldnt have to deal with these kind of people at all. You should not have to be afraid of going to school because you have another day of torture to go through. Besides, complaining about bullying is not the same as coplaining about every day life, which is what teenagers do anyway. No one should have to deal with those types of personalities, and if society had any common sense we would have rooted out those personalities years ago. They have no reason to exist, that personality. No reason at all, it serves no purpose other than to bring other people down. Its just rude, vile, and completely unwanted. And it absolutely thrives in todays morale wasteland.


The school can only do so much....so what exactly do you want them to institute upon the whole student body exactly? How would you 'fix' this specific issue?


The school can only do so much? No, the children go to school there, it IS the schools job to ensure that the child has a nice,safe environment to learn in.
I would love to institute upon the whole student body on being nice. Really, its not difficult or hard. How hard is it to smile and say hi? It takes more effort to ridicule someone, to knock thier books out of thier hands, to think of ways to torture them. Those take more effort then a simple smile and a "Hello".

And its not unrealistic, it can happen. If I can do it, then so can others. Since i left truehell, i have always been nice, but there are some people that are just hell-bent on being vehemenly rude and insulting.
Like i said earlier, im not an instigator, i have never started any arguments, no fights, no nothing. Trouble always seems to find me becuase they see something in me that is vulnerable. Like i said, i can easily compare them to animals becuase they can sense the fear in someone.

And how to fix the problem? I have no real solution, but i did come up with this.

One :If the bully is caught bullying, have the parent come for a visit for the next whole day. Not only will the parent find out that thier child is a bully, which is embarrasing enough because the child is a reflection of the parent, but they will lose a days worth of wages as well, maybe then they will see that thier child has a problem, and do a little physical/verbal punishment of thier own to fix it.

Not all bullies are the same, and not all victims are the same, some take it harsher than others, just like some bullies are harsher than others. But what needs to be done is just be nice to people. Its such a simple concept but hardly anyone follows it. People treat other people like crap to elate themselves to a higher level, that is sick, since when has society allowed this? Why has society allowed this?

I was told by Dianne Peak, the current administrator of truesdell at the time, that i would have to allow the bullies to make fun of me becuase they cannot keep suspending students, based on allegations of verbal abuse. I was told that i would have to allow the monsters to continue to assault me. I was told that they were missing too much school..... i scoffed on the inside, yeah.... cuase school is soooooooooo important to these monsters that they reserve the right to keep me from having a decent learning experience.

I was suspended for three days becuase i asked Ms Peak if she was supporting the bullies. Becuase thats what it seemed she was doing. They were making the bullies out to be victims of fate.
i told her, "Everyone has a choice in what they do, sure, thier homelife may be bad, they might not have their every want and need, they may not have a dad in the picture, but they have the choice to do what they do, and they are choosing bad, so why dont you do your job, and get rid of them? they are doing nothing good here, i bet you that thier grades are crap ( i used a different word at the time), they are doing nothing productive here other than raising thier own self esteem by tearing down others. So looking at you as the administrator, i see you doing nothing to fix this problem. YOUR not doing YOUR job to make this a safe learning place for ME and every other bullied kid in this school."
I was treated with a three day suspension and a very clear order to not come to the administration office for problems.

I may have went a little over the top, but i was a kid with so much hate for these bullies. I still have alot of hate for bullies, when i was in middle school, i was short and couldnt do anything about it, becuase most of the bullies were maturing and they were bigger and stronger and i could be easily beaten. When i reached high scool, that all stopped. And i did everything i could to ensure no one was made fun of at my highschool. I wrote papers in the school newspaper about bullying issues, so that the administration would crack down on it.

I had the perfect story, i rode the bus to school, to and from school. And i was so fortunate to be on the bus with problem children, the bullies. There was a kid on the bus suffering from autism, and one day, they decided to pick on him. A student began grabbins his hair, and giving it a tug, what started out as tugs soon turned into hard pulls. the autistic kid didnt like this, and tried to move up to the front of the bus, the bus driver yelled at him to sit back down, he has an assigned seat and needs to stay there. Soon, the kid began pinching and pushing the autistic kid, who then began thrashing and screaming

Everyone on the bus began laughing at him, and they were telling the kid to keep pinching him, they were telling him to do it more.

Great thing is, i caught the whole thing on video. i had my camera on the bus, and turned on the video and caught the whole 10 minute scene on the bus. No one knew me at the time, they just knew i was a mute, that i never speak with anyone. so they were kind of worried when they saw i had the camera, but i just smiled at them and said, "Perfect for youtube". Thank god alot of those kids did not read the paper, becuase they would have realized i was a reporter for the school paper.

I turned the video in to the parents of the child, who lived right next door to me. I made a copy and went to my journalism teacher and after showing her it, asked if it was ok if i could use this for a story, i told her a little about my past and said i was very MOVED by this, and i NEED to write it. She told me "Absolutely", she could not believe how cruel kids are, or how cruel they can be. If she, as a teacher, did not know this? then do other teachers know this? do the administrators of the schools know this? These kids are like monsters, cruel, heartless, and very manipulative. They know how to work the system and be in the confines of morale standards. I think we should broaden our horizons a little bit, and not focus just on the bullies and the victims, but the root of the problem and what causes this, and fix that.

[ConservativeCody]

If you're having problem now because of something that happend years ago, you need help. Either you stand up for yourself or get ran over. When I cam e to AZ and I had a Bully come up to me one time and it was his last because I broke his nose and tore his ear when I hit him upside the head.

If you have a kid that is bullied tell him or her to knock the hell out of the other kid because a bully doesn't like to do real battle. BTW, yes I got into trouble but it was worth it. Wow one day in detention. LMAO

not everyone can do that. some people like me shy away from anything physical, i dont like how i feel when i get into arguments, so i know i'll hate what i feel when i get into a fight, so i tried not to.

[ConservativeCody]

BTW, Bullying has been around for ever and is also in the Animal Kingdom so it's natural, but like I said, stand up to them and they will stop the bullying.


or you could stand up to them, and it makes it worse. Becuase now they are getting a reaction out of you, you just made the game more exciting for them

[ConservativeCody]

If you're having problem now because of something that happend years ago, you need help.

if you actually read WHY i made this post, you will see that im very passionate about bullying because i was a victim myself, i was jsut giving background information of a real issue. I'm not writing this becuase of what happened years ago, im writing this becuase teens are killing themselves over this, litterally.

[mgifford]

or you could stand up to them, and it makes it worse. Becuase now they are getting a reaction out of you, you just made the game more exciting for them

If your answer is appeasement, why did you bother to ask us?

[ConservativeCody]

If your answer is appeasement, why did you bother to ask us?
appeasement? are you not reading? i vehemently hate these people, i would never appease to them. They need to be rid of.

[mgifford]

appeasement? are you not reading? i vehemently hate these people, i would never appease to them. They need to be rid of.

OK, appeasement is NOT standing up to someone & letting them walk on you right? Obama is an example. He wants to kiss the asses of all dictators & they will destroy America.

[ConservativeCody]

OK, appeasement is NOT standing up to someone & letting them walk on you right? Obama is an example. He wants to kiss the asses of all dictators & they will destroy America.


you are just not getting it, there is no appeasement, there is nothing but harsh words about them coming through my mouth, and no, i dont want to stand up to them, i shouldnt have to, they shouldnt be that way in the first place, there is no reason to.

besides like i said, i gave up long ago about arguing with ignorance. They believe they are in the right so i just let them think that. its not my job to make them be good, thats the schools, thats societies, im just getting the issue out there so people take notice.

[notluzn]

not everyone can do that. some people like me shy away from anything physical, i dont like how i feel when i get into arguments, so i know i'll hate what i feel when i get into a fight, so i tried not to. Which is why you got picked on. It doesn't take much to learn how to defend yourself. how are you going to potect your wife and kids if you can't defend yourself? Im just saying. Time to workout and become some what stronger.

[notluzn]

or you could stand up to them, and it makes it worse. Becuase now they are getting a reaction out of you, you just made the game more exciting for them

Wrong!! Once you stand up to them they won't come back for more and that my firend is simple psychology. When you burn yourself on a stove you don't touch it again after the first time. Bullies are looking for the weak and not the reaction of a fight. They look for those that wont fight.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

Children are a reflection of the parent, tell the parent what the kid is doing. If they dont care, then wound thier pride. Get them on the defensive so they take care of thier kid, to show that they can be a good parent and not allow this to happen.



Thats the thing, you shouldnt have to deal with these kind of people at all. You should not have to be afraid of going to school because you have another day of torture to go through. Besides, complaining about bullying is not the same as coplaining about every day life, which is what teenagers do anyway. No one should have to deal with those types of personalities, and if society had any common sense we would have rooted out those personalities years ago. They have no reason to exist, that personality. No reason at all, it serves no purpose other than to bring other people down. Its just rude, vile, and completely unwanted. And it absolutely thrives in todays morale wasteland.



The school can only do so much? No, the children go to school there, it IS the schools job to ensure that the child has a nice,safe environment to learn in.
I would love to institute upon the whole student body on being nice. Really, its not difficult or hard. How hard is it to smile and say hi? It takes more effort to ridicule someone, to knock thier books out of thier hands, to think of ways to torture them. Those take more effort then a simple smile and a "Hello".

And its not unrealistic, it can happen. If I can do it, then so can others. Since i left truehell, i have always been nice, but there are some people that are just hell-bent on being vehemenly rude and insulting.
Like i said earlier, im not an instigator, i have never started any arguments, no fights, no nothing. Trouble always seems to find me becuase they see something in me that is vulnerable. Like i said, i can easily compare them to animals becuase they can sense the fear in someone.

And how to fix the problem? I have no real solution, but i did come up with this.

One :If the bully is caught bullying, have the parent come for a visit for the next whole day. Not only will the parent find out that thier child is a bully, which is embarrasing enough because the child is a reflection of the parent, but they will lose a days worth of wages as well, maybe then they will see that thier child has a problem, and do a little physical/verbal punishment of thier own to fix it.

Not all bullies are the same, and not all victims are the same, some take it harsher than others, just like some bullies are harsher than others. But what needs to be done is just be nice to people. Its such a simple concept but hardly anyone follows it. People treat other people like crap to elate themselves to a higher level, that is sick, since when has society allowed this? Why has society allowed this?

I was told by Dianne Peak, the current administrator of truesdell at the time, that i would have to allow the bullies to make fun of me becuase they cannot keep suspending students, based on allegations of verbal abuse. I was told that i would have to allow the monsters to continue to assault me. I was told that they were missing too much school..... i scoffed on the inside, yeah.... cuase school is soooooooooo important to these monsters that they reserve the right to keep me from having a decent learning experience.

I was suspended for three days becuase i asked Ms Peak if she was supporting the bullies. Becuase thats what it seemed she was doing. They were making the bullies out to be victims of fate.
i told her, "Everyone has a choice in what they do, sure, thier homelife may be bad, they might not have their every want and need, they may not have a dad in the picture, but they have the choice to do what they do, and they are choosing bad, so why dont you do your job, and get rid of them? they are doing nothing good here, i bet you that thier grades are crap ( i used a different word at the time), they are doing nothing productive here other than raising thier own self esteem by tearing down others. So looking at you as the administrator, i see you doing nothing to fix this problem. YOUR not doing YOUR job to make this a safe learning place for ME and every other bullied kid in this school."
I was treated with a three day suspension and a very clear order to not come to the administration office for problems.

I may have went a little over the top, but i was a kid with so much hate for these bullies. I still have alot of hate for bullies, when i was in middle school, i was short and couldnt do anything about it, becuase most of the bullies were maturing and they were bigger and stronger and i could be easily beaten. When i reached high scool, that all stopped. And i did everything i could to ensure no one was made fun of at my highschool. I wrote papers in the school newspaper about bullying issues, so that the administration would crack down on it.

I had the perfect story, i rode the bus to school, to and from school. And i was so fortunate to be on the bus with problem children, the bullies. There was a kid on the bus suffering from autism, and one day, they decided to pick on him. A student began grabbins his hair, and giving it a tug, what started out as tugs soon turned into hard pulls. the autistic kid didnt like this, and tried to move up to the front of the bus, the bus driver yelled at him to sit back down, he has an assigned seat and needs to stay there. Soon, the kid began pinching and pushing the autistic kid, who then began thrashing and screaming

Everyone on the bus began laughing at him, and they were telling the kid to keep pinching him, they were telling him to do it more.

Great thing is, i caught the whole thing on video. i had my camera on the bus, and turned on the video and caught the whole 10 minute scene on the bus. No one knew me at the time, they just knew i was a mute, that i never speak with anyone. so they were kind of worried when they saw i had the camera, but i just smiled at them and said, "Perfect for youtube". Thank god alot of those kids did not read the paper, becuase they would have realized i was a reporter for the school paper.

I turned the video in to the parents of the child, who lived right next door to me. I made a copy and went to my journalism teacher and after showing her it, asked if it was ok if i could use this for a story, i told her a little about my past and said i was very MOVED by this, and i NEED to write it. She told me "Absolutely", she could not believe how cruel kids are, or how cruel they can be. If she, as a teacher, did not know this? then do other teachers know this? do the administrators of the schools know this? These kids are like monsters, cruel, heartless, and very manipulative. They know how to work the system and be in the confines of morale standards. I think we should broaden our horizons a little bit, and not focus just on the bullies and the victims, but the root of the problem and what causes this, and fix that.

:hand: I don't know how old you are now....but reading your rather long post reads to me as though your still very much emotionally involved in this time of your life. May I suggest rather then being a victim/playing victim ....which is what your post drips with...that you stand up and take responsibility for your own inaction and take even more responsibility in how you could have dispelled the issue by yourself.

Talking to a bully's parent isn't going to solve squat. :rolleyes: It's been tried..and gee, guess what...doesn't do crap in stopping the bullying..in fact, it usually makes it worse. And you, a stated victim of bullying without any reason as to why they picked on you...should have known that. :naughty:

As to what types of people who were supposed bullies in middle school become...you may want to do some research of your own into the personality arch type matrixs.
Leaders...military...police-officers...prosecutors....judges....sports stars....t.v. and motion picture stars..reporters....have admitted too being bullies in school. Hmmmm....perhaps you can see past your own emotional hurt and see into the situation with an adult mind about what bullying is really all about verses being picked on as a kid by some very dysfunctional thugs. Thugs aren't bully's..and bully's aren't thugs. There is a difference.

Other then that...I'd say your in for some really glaring emotional episodes as you learn to deal with confrontation. Better to learn how to deal with and confront others in a positive and professional manner without cowering in the corner or being a forced mute in order to remove yourself from being a victim of what your perceive as bullied. IMO, Being Nice or playing nice is in reality being fake. I'd rather someone be genuine and truthful then fake PC nice. PC nice doesn't do squat for anyone. PC nice is the same as being lied too...as soon as you turn your back thinking someone has been genuine with you..they are already sticking steak knives in your back. It's a fake sense of forced politeness that has taken an entire generation down to nothing more the wussified robots ...:sick:..which, no thank you, I'll take the real, even if it means confrontation and truth that I may not want to hear.

~Mysty

[ConservativeCody]

Which is why you got picked on. It doesn't take much to learn how to defend yourself. how are you going to potect your wife and kids if you can't defend yourself? Im just saying. Time to workout and become some what stronger.


you shouldnt have to stand up for yourself, you shouldnt have to defend yourself, people shouldnt be Evil. But thats the thing isnt it, we dont live in a perfect world. People are Evil, People are Mean. Why? Why? Why? Why? There is no reason to be.

And i do work out, im no longer the short **** i was in middle school, im now 6'4 and the only way people mess with me are short drunks who think they are scrappers.

[notluzn]

you are just not getting it, there is no appeasement, there is nothing but harsh words about them coming through my mouth, and no, i dont want to stand up to them, i shouldnt have to, they shouldnt be that way in the first place, there is no reason to.

besides like i said, i gave up long ago about arguing with ignorance. They believe they are in the right so i just let them think that. its not my job to make them be good, thats the schools, thats societies, im just getting the issue out there so people take notice.

They shouldn't be that way in the first place? Um sorry kid but your shouldn't be that way either. Bullies have been around for thousands of years and is Natural but you need to understand that bullies never mess with Jocks and Fit active people. They look for the weakest link and in the Animal world they "Weakest Link" get killed off fast.

Go to a gym or join a sports team. Trust me that no bullies will mess with you or any kids you know that would do those simple things.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

Wrong!! Once you stand up to them they won't come back for more and that my firend is simple psychology. When you burn yourself on a stove you don't touch it again after the first time. Bullies are looking for the weak and not the reaction of a fight. They look for those that wont fight.

:clap::clap: Exactly correct. Doing 'nothing' is what feeds the fire in this case...Doing something makes the bullies move on to easier prey..as Jeepers posted early. Bullies don't want to work that hard..they want instant gratification and group approval...if they don't get it..they move on...period.

I always told my girls...don't you ever start a fight..but by god someone throws the first punch...you end it! :whistle:

~Mysty

[ConservativeCody]

:hand: I don't know how old you are now....but reading your rather long post reads to me as though your still very much emotionally involved in this time of your life. May I suggest rather then being a victim/playing victim ....which is what your post drips with...that you stand up and take responsibility for your own inaction and take even more responsibility in how you could have dispelled the issue by yourself.

Talking to a bully's parent isn't going to solve squat. :rolleyes: It's been tried..and gee, guess what...doesn't do crap in stopping the bullying..in fact, it usually makes it worse. And you, a stated victim of bullying without any reason as to why they picked on you...should have known that. :naughty:

As to what types of people who were supposed bullies in middle school become...you may want to do some research of your own into the personality arch type matrixs.
Leaders...military...police-officers...prosecutors....judges....sports stars....t.v. and motion picture stars..reporters....have admitted too being bullies in school. Hmmmm....perhaps you can see past your own emotional hurt and see into the situation with an adult mind about what bullying is really all about verses being picked on as a kid by some very dysfunctional thugs. Thugs aren't bully's..and bully's aren't thugs. There is a difference.

Other then that...I'd say your in for some really glaring emotional episodes as you learn to deal with confrontation. Better to learn how to deal with and confront others in a positive and professional manner without cowering in the corner or being a forced mute in order to remove yourself from being a victim of what your perceive as bullied. IMO, Being Nice or playing nice is in reality being fake. I'd rather someone be genuine and truthful then fake PC nice. PC nice doesn't do squat for anyone. PC nice is the same as being lied too...as soon as you turn your back thinking someone has been genuine with you..they are already sticking steak knives in your back. It's a fake sense of forced politeness that has taken an entire generation down to nothing more the wussified robots ...:sick:..which, no thank you, I'll take the real, even if it means confrontation and truth that I may not want to hear.

~Mysty

the issue is still fresh in my mind, and im very passionate about it when i see that teens are ending thier lives because something as stupid as bullying.

i was in middle school.... lets see.... freshman, senior, junior, sophomore, freshman, 8th... thats about 5 years ago.

This is a very heated issue with alot of variables. Alot of things are taken into account when dealing with bullies.

[notluzn]

you shouldnt have to stand up for yourself, you shouldnt have to defend yourself, people shouldnt be Evil. But thats the thing isnt it, we dont live in a perfect world. People are Evil, People are Mean. Why? Why? Why? Why? There is no reason to be.

And i do work out, im no longer the short **** i was in middle school, im now 6'4 and the only way people mess with me are short drunks who think they are scrappers.

Welcome to reality dude. This world is full of bad people and the only way to deal with them is to fight back and kick some major ass. Anything thing it's not how tall you are it's if you can fight. Example, this guy that graduated HS already and was 6'2 found out that me "9th Grader at the time" didn't put up with BS. I'm 5'10 and I blackend both of his eyes when I broke his nose. He was mad at some chick and took it out on me and some other friend. After that fight we became good friends. It's all good

[ConservativeCody]

I'm baffled. So what? We just allow the bullies to attack someone to teach them a life lesson? Completely unacceptable. The point im still trying to get across, which everyone is ignoring.... is WHY they have to be like that in the first place. What in the hell gives them the right?

[notluzn]

:clap::clap: Exactly correct. Doing 'nothing' is what feeds the fire in this case...Doing something makes the bullies move on to easier prey..as Jeepers posted early. Bullies don't want to work that hard..they want instant gratification and group approval...if they don't get it..they move on...period.

I always told my girls...don't you ever start a fight..but by god someone throws the first punch...you end it! :whistle:

~Mysty I agree. Weakest Links are always going to be the target. That is nature from the beginning of time. One crack in the nose and the bully goes crying.

One thing I'm planning on doing is putting my girls into Karate or some other self defense class. I want them to beat the hell out of the first guy that doesn't know then meaning of "NO"! :)) :))

[notluzn]

I'm baffled. So what? We just allow the bullies to attack someone to teach them a life lesson? Completely unacceptable. The point im still trying to get across, which everyone is ignoring.... is WHY they have to be like that in the first place. What in the hell gives them the right? Why do Lions attack older and weaker animals or baby animals? When you learn that you'll get your answer.

[ConservativeCody]

Welcome to reality dude. This world is full of bad people and the only way to deal with them is to fight back and kick some major ass. Anything thing it's not how tall you are it's if you can fight. Example, this guy that graduated HS already and was 6'2 found out that me "9th Grader at the time" didn't put up with BS. I'm 5'10 and I blackend both of his eyes when I broke his nose. He was mad at some chick and took it out on me and some other friend. After that fight we became good friends. It's all good

congradulations, you just prove that the only way to solve this problem is with violence, my father said the same thing, that when he and mike got into a fight in middle scool, the teacher took them to the boxing ring and let them duke it out, soon after, they became best friends. hince him being "Uncle" Mike.

Im not saying im a pacificst, or that we should appease to the bullies, im just saying that something else has to be done. Alot of people cannot stand up for themselves, and im not saying we should take care of them, but we should try and stop this situation from ever happening,

yes, bullies have been around forever

why?

becuase we have allowed it


why?

becuase it teaches a life lesson


How?

it teaches you about confrontation situations


Well guess what, i dont care what anyone says, for someone to end thier life over something as you say is "Minimal" , or "Trivial" as bullying, then the problem has just escalated up to a "Major" problem in my books.

[ConservativeCody]

Why do Lions attack older and weaker animals or baby animals? When you learn that you'll get your answer.


Humans are not wild animals, that is where we are different from lions.

[ConservativeCody]

just like the animals in the wild, we have the same tendencies ,but we have the choice not to act on them. That is where the line is drawn.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

I agree. Weakest Links are always going to be the target. That is nature from the beginning of time. One crack in the nose and the bully goes crying.

One thing I'm planning on doing is putting my girls into Karate or some other self defense class. I want them to beat the hell out of the first guy that doesn't know then meaning of "NO"! :)) :))

All three of our girls..Karate for three years a piece..and you betcha they can take care of themselves...6'4 daddy made sure of that! lol :mrgreen: Sign your up...great for a truthful self image, self control and self asserted discipline.

Our girls turned out to be some really beautiful (inside and out) people that never attached themselves to vapid little click type groups. They had/have self esteem that didn't need to be bolstered by fake group power trips. I believe that is what our friends is trying to communicate..the viscous little cycle of clicks in school that feed on fake power in order to feed their over weaning egos. Pretty standard fare for high school..we all went through it to some degree.

~Mysty

[notluzn]

Humans are not wild animals, that is where we are different from lions.Not in a Million Years. It's in all DNA to target the weak. Do we or don't we is the only difference.

[notluzn]

All three of our girls..Karate for three years a piece..and you betcha they can take care of themselves...6'4 daddy made sure of that! lol :mrgreen: Sign your up...great for a truthful self image, self control and self asserted discipline.

Our girls turned out to be some really beautiful (inside and out) people that never attached themselves to vapid little click type groups. They had/have self esteem that didn't need to be bolstered by fake group power trips. I believe that is what our friends is trying to communicate..the viscous little cycle of clicks in school that feed on fake power in order to feed their over weaning egos. Pretty standard fare for high school..we all went through it to some degree.

~Mysty Sounds like your Girls did well. :)

[ConservativeCody]

Not in a Million Years. It's in all DNA to target the weak. Do we or don't we is the only difference.



really? its in all DNA to target the weak? I have never done such a thing, ever!, i have never looked at someone and compeltely disregared my morale values and decide, "Hey, that person looks weak, i should target them" No. Never. "Not in a Million Years".

Sure, you take away things like food, water, electricity, things that make society easier, and you will see us revert back to savage beasts, but we have these things, so people should stop acting like "Animals" and more like civilized people.

[notluzn]

really? its in all DNA to target the weak? I have never done such a thing, ever!, i have never looked at someone and compeltely disregared my morale values and decide, "Hey, that person looks weak, i should target them" No. Never. "Not in a Million Years".

Sure, you take away things like food, water, electricity, things that make society easier, and you will see us revert back to savage beasts, but we have these things, so people should stop acting like "Animals" and more like civilized people. I guess you didn't read the Do we or Don't we part.

Like I said, if a bully is picking on you, and you don't fight back, you're going to get picked on again and again and again and go cry to mommy. If you turn around and fight back, they won't come back and you just might become friends later. Is this so hard to understand people?

[ConservativeCody]

I guess you didn't read the Do we or Don't we part.

Like I said, if a bully is picking on you, and you don't fight back, you're going to get picked on again and again and again and go cry to mommy. If you turn around and fight back, they won't come back and you just might become friends later. Is this so hard to understand people?


again, everyone is going backto the defending yourself part, i UNDERSTAND that.... what i dont understand, what everyone is STILL ignoring.... is.


Why do they have to be that way in the first place? What gives them the right?

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

*snipped for this specific point*


Well guess what, i dont care what anyone says, for someone to end thier life over something as you say is "Minimal" , or "Trivial" as bullying, then the problem has just escalated up to a "Major" problem in my books.

Anyone who ends their life due to bullying is experiencing allot more in their lives then just bullying. Sorry..but that statement/excuse just doesn't fly with me.

And before you go on some tiraide about how I don't understand the full scope of the issue...you should know this..I am a mother of three girls..all ranging in age now from 25 to 19. I am a retired LVN/LPT. I've been a counselor for troubled and suicidal teens within my career.

Fact: Those who are thinking of suicide, usually have allot more going on in their lives then a unhappy school experience or day to day bullying. Usually these kids have sever emotional issue that run much deeper then the average teen angst and growing pains of adolescents. So before you begin to blame bullying for teen suicide rates..I suggest you educate yourself on the depth of 'why' teens choose suicide and what is sighted as the main reason or environmental/physical/emotional reasons as to why they commit suicide.

Linking 'bullying' to teen suicide rates is disingenuous at best. Is bullying sited as a side factor or contributing factor to a few cases of teen suicide...in some cases..yes. Is it the root of the main issue with that teen who is considering suicide? No...not it is not. If anything, that attitude is indicative of a larger emotional issue or environmental/home life issue within that specific teen's life then any issue raised alone within the issue of bullying by itself.

Remember...thuggery or teen thugs are not the same as bullies. Two separate animals. Schools can and do deal with thugs; who btw, are usually loners, few if any friends, violent and usually mentally disturbed for a myriad of reasons. Bullies...on the other hand, usually are 'click' type leaders or in the click hierarchy and are looking more for acceptance from the group mentality then simply striking fear and pain onto any random person. Think about it..bullies like an audience. Why? To garner acceptance from the group mentality. However, even bullies stay away from thugs. One person's bully is a perspective that is individualized from person to person...one person's friends is another person's bully. Thugs on the other hand are accepted by no one..and everyone understands them for what they are..thugs.

~Mysty

[ConservativeCody]

Sure, but bullying doesnt help someone with emotional issues, it just adds to the equation.

So will someone please answer the question as to WHY bullies are the way they are? gaining social acceptance is not a good answer, if it takes bullying to become acceptable in society, no wonder today is nothing but a morale wasteland.

[notluzn]

Sure, but bullying doesnt help someone with emotional issues, it just adds to the equation.

So will someone please answer the question as to WHY bullies are the way they are? gaining social acceptance is not a good answer, if it takes bullying to become acceptable in society, no wonder today is nothing but a morale wasteland.

Bullying didn't cause a morale wasteland at all. I don't know why you think so and it's totally false. Bullies are only Bullies to those that allow themselves to be bullied. If you can't understand that I don't know what else to tell you. Watch the movie Back to the Future and get it Mcfly

[ConservativeCody]

Bullying didn't cause a morale wasteland at all. I don't know why you think so and it's totally false. Bullies are only Bullies to those that allow themselves to be bullied. If you can't understand that I don't know what else to tell you. Watch the movie Back to the Future and get it Mcfly


are you serious? i never said bullying caused a morale wasteland... i said "if it takes bullying to become acceptable in society, no wonder today is nothing but a morale wasteland. " what i meant, was if it takes something BAD to become something GOOD, no wonder today is a morale wasteland.

And the thing you wont answer, or anyone for that matter.... is WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE THAT WAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

what gives them the right?

what is so wrong in thier lives that they have to be so evil?

[bitterclinger84]

again, everyone is going backto the defending yourself part, i UNDERSTAND that.... what i dont understand, what everyone is STILL ignoring.... is.


Why do they have to be that way in the first place? What gives them the right?

Actually, I think you're the one not getting the point.

No one is saying that they have a "right" to be *******s. But the fact of the matter is that there will always be people with that mentality.

Think about what everyone here has said so far. If every single kid who had ever been bullied beat the **** out of the bully, how long do you think those kids would be bullies?

[bitterclinger84]

Sure, but bullying doesnt help someone with emotional issues, it just adds to the equation.

So will someone please answer the question as to WHY bullies are the way they are? gaining social acceptance is not a good answer, if it takes bullying to become acceptable in society, no wonder today is nothing but a morale wasteland.

I would argue that it's the pacifistic way kids have been taught to deal with bullies that has lead to it being the epidemic it is.

[ConservativeCody]

Actually, I think you're the one not getting the point.

No one is saying that they have a "right" to be *******s. But the fact of the matter is that there will always be people with that mentality.

Think about what everyone here has said so far. If every single kid who had ever been bullied beat the **** out of the bully, how long do you think those kids would be bullies?

maybe its just me, but i cant see myself waking up with that kind of mentality. There HAS to be a reason for them to be this way, i would love to find out what that reason is, and then work to solve it.

like a little science project.

[bitterclinger84]

maybe its just me, but i cant see myself waking up with that kind of mentality. There HAS to be a reason for them to be this way, i would love to find out what that reason is, and then work to solve it.

like a little science project.

And usually there is a back story. But someone people are just jerks.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

maybe its just me, but i cant see myself waking up with that kind of mentality. There HAS to be a reason for them to be this way, i would love to find out what that reason is, and then work to solve it.

like a little science project.

I've given you the answer you seek twice now...and here it is third time. Look up personalities matrix. Ya know, Type A personalities, Type B personalities, Type C personalities. The answer you seek is in that matrix. Some people are a mix of arch types...some are hard A,B or C's. Some have sub-matrixed personalities disorders and deficits. Thugs...(not bullies) are part of that sub matrix. Meaning...personality disorders.

Do you know why the ideal of Utopia would never actual come to fruition? Because Man isn't built or designed that way. There will always be those who seek power...those who will find new depths of greed...those who wish to cause destruction and watch the world burn. This is part of the human experience; and no amount of PC teaching or whining is ever going to weed it out of our human genome...plain and simple.

We can however, channel and teach those with personalities disorders what is and what is not acceptable in a society. That doesn't mean however, it will every stop the natural state of human beings. I remember a saying....if we didn't know dark, then how would we ever know light? Same applies here.

There was a movie...Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man...shows a society who thought it had breed out of it all aggressive and dominate personality traits. It is a perfect example of what it is your questioning. Go watch it...it may be just the thing to answer all your question. Just don't ask how to use the sea shells...never did figure them out...lol.

~Mysty

[ConservativeCody]

And usually there is a back story. But someone people are just jerks.


yes, some people are just jerks... but WHY? i mean, i hate to keep asking this question, but i have never seen the reason to be one. I'm always nice no matter what, and i just try to understand how/why people can be jerks.. i just dont have it in me to be one, so i find it kind of.... alien.

i guess you could say that i wish people were a little like me when it comes to interacting with "People" , i really only do it when necessary , and when i do im always nice and formal when i first meet someone. To try to get the relationship to a good start, but like you said, some people are just jerks. but what i would like to know is WHY?

[ConservativeCody]

And usually there is a back story. But someone people are just jerks.


yes, some people are just jerks... but WHY? i mean, i hate to keep asking this question, but i have never seen the reason to be one. I'm always nice no matter what, and i just try to understand how/why people can be jerks.. i just dont have it in me to be one, so i find it kind of.... alien.

i guess you could say that i wish people were a little like me when it comes to interacting with "People" , i really only do it when necessary , and when i do im always nice and formal when i first meet someone. To try to get the relationship to a good start, but like you said, some people are just jerks. but what i would like to know is WHY?

[ConservativeCody]

I've given you the answer you seek twice now...and here it is third time. Look up personalities matrix. Ya know, Type A personalities, Type B personalities, Type C personalities. The answer you seek is in that matrix. Some people are a mix of arch types...some are hard A,B or C's. Some have sub-matrixed personalities disorders and deficits. Thugs...(not bullies) are part of that sub matrix. Meaning...personality disorders.

Do you know why the ideal of Utopia would never actual come to fruition? Because Man isn't built or designed that way. There will always be those who seek power...those who will find new depths of greed...those who wish to cause destruction and watch the world burn. This is part of the human experience; and no amount of PC teaching or whining is ever going to weed it out of our human genome...plain and simple.

We can however, channel and teach those with personalities disorders what is and what is not acceptable in a society. That doesn't mean however, it will every stop the natural state of human beings. I remember a saying....if we didn't know dark, then how would we ever know light? Same applies here.

There was a movie...Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man...shows a society who thought it had breed out of it all aggressive and dominate personality traits. It is a perfect example of what it is your questioning. Go watch it...it may be just the thing to answer all your question. Just don't ask how to use the sea shells...never did figure them out...lol.

~Mysty

i have seen that movie, one of my favorites. and i never got the point with the sea shells either.... i dont think we were meant to understand it.

but the idea of a utopia isnt what im aiming for, im just aiming for people being nice. I mean, it is not HARD at all............ a simple smile and hello is all you have to say to make someones day.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

i have seen that movie, one of my favorites. and i never got the point with the sea shells either.... i dont think we were meant to understand it.

but the idea of a utopia isnt what im aiming for, im just aiming for people being nice. I mean, it is not HARD at all............ a simple smile and hello is all you have to say to make someones day.

This idea of 'nice'. Let's get that out of the way now shall we? Were is it written or detailed that anyone 'has' to be nice? What does nice really offer us? Nice is empty imo. A smile and hello isn't being 'nice', it's being polite....and yes, there is a difference between the two.

Being polite shows good manners..but rarely does more then open an atmosphere that may offer more politeness. Now as I'm out in the world doing whatever I have too, I run into many people. I hold the door for them..and don't expect a Thank You..as I did it for myself..not for them. I allow others to take the right of way...not for them..but to make sure my safety is first and foremost as I drive. I reach up and grab the bottle of whatever for the elderly woman who can't reach it and walk away. I do it because that's how I'm wired..how I'm built so to speak. If I am one example of one personality, then certainly there is an direct opposing personality out there. It really is as simple as that.

Environment...can mean allot in the developmental stages of a human being. If your surrounded by disgusting behavior and told or taught by action that it's perfectly acceptable, then your more apt to behave in the same manner. If you surrounded by positive behavior and told or taught by action that it's perfectly acceptable, then you more apt to behave in the same manner. However, environment is not always the litmus test for personality. There are terrific parents out there who have horrific messes for kids...There are equally horrific parents out there who have wonderful gifts for kids. Parentage is part of the equations, as is environmental factors..but it's not the whole equation now is it?

I would suggest you taking a college level sociology class, anthropology class and a basic humanities class. Between the three, you'll find the base answer your looking for.

~Mysty

[bitterclinger84]

yes, some people are just jerks... but WHY? i mean, i hate to keep asking this question, but i have never seen the reason to be one. I'm always nice no matter what, and i just try to understand how/why people can be jerks.. i just dont have it in me to be one, so i find it kind of.... alien.

i guess you could say that i wish people were a little like me when it comes to interacting with "People" , i really only do it when necessary , and when i do im always nice and formal when i first meet someone. To try to get the relationship to a good start, but like you said, some people are just jerks. but what i would like to know is WHY?

I don't know, I've never been the type to just be mean for no good reason either.

[ConservativeCody]

Environment...can mean allot in the developmental stages of a human being. If your surrounded by disgusting behavior and told or taught by action that it's perfectly acceptable, then your more apt to behave in the same manner. If you surrounded by positive behavior and told or taught by action that it's perfectly acceptable, then you more apt to behave in the same manner. However, environment is not always the litmus test for personality. There are terrific parents out there who have horrific messes for kids...There are equally horrific parents out there who have wonderful gifts for kids. Parentage is part of the equations, as is environmental factors..but it's not the whole equation now is it?

I would suggest you taking a college level sociology class, anthropology class and a basic humanities class. Between the three, you'll find the base answer your looking for.

~Mysty


ah, classic Nature Vs Nurture. And i completely agree, there are different situations. but being nice/polite.

"Where does it say that everyone HAS to be nice or polite?"

let me ask you this, "Where does it say that you HAVE to be a jerk?"
"Where does it say that you HAVE to make fun of someone"
"Where does it say that you HAVE to be mean?"
"" Vile
"" Rude
The list can go on and on. you dont HAVE to be anything. life is full of choices and so many people are making the wrong ones.

[ConservativeCody]

life is full of choices and so many people are making the wrong ones.


and yes, it is thier choice if they want to, but WHY? WHY would they want to? it makes no sense. I guess since im not a mean person, i find this kind of alien. It really bugs me.

[bitterclinger84]

This idea of 'nice'. Let's get that out of the way now shall we? Were is it written or detailed that anyone 'has' to be nice? What does nice really offer us? Nice is empty imo. A smile and hello isn't being 'nice', it's being polite....and yes, there is a difference between the two.

Being polite shows good manners..but rarely does more then open an atmosphere that may offer more politeness. Now as I'm out in the world doing whatever I have too, I run into many people. I hold the door for them..and don't expect a Thank You..as I did it for myself..not for them. I allow others to take the right of way...not for them..but to make sure my safety is first and foremost as I drive. I reach up and grab the bottle of whatever for the elderly woman who can't reach it and walk away. I do it because that's how I'm wired..how I'm built so to speak. If I am one example of one personality, then certainly there is an direct opposing personality out there. It really is as simple as that.

Environment...can mean allot in the developmental stages of a human being. If your surrounded by disgusting behavior and told or taught by action that it's perfectly acceptable, then your more apt to behave in the same manner. If you surrounded by positive behavior and told or taught by action that it's perfectly acceptable, then you more apt to behave in the same manner. However, environment is not always the litmus test for personality. There are terrific parents out there who have horrific messes for kids...There are equally horrific parents out there who have wonderful gifts for kids. Parentage is part of the equations, as is environmental factors..but it's not the whole equation now is it?

I would suggest you taking a college level sociology class, anthropology class and a basic humanities class. Between the three, you'll find the base answer your looking for.

~Mysty

^ What she said.

[bitterclinger84]

and yes, it is thier choice if they want to, but WHY? WHY would they want to? it makes no sense. I guess since im not a mean person, i find this kind of alien. It really bugs me.

lol I think it bugs most people when they can't understand why someone does something.

[sisyphus]

and yes, it is thier choice if they want to, but WHY? WHY would they want to? it makes no sense. I guess since im not a mean person, i find this kind of alien. It really bugs me.

You could add a dose of ignorance and/or lack of empathy and/or just plain stupidity....:((

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

ah, classic Nature Vs Nurture. And i completely agree, there are different situations. but being nice/polite.

"Where does it say that everyone HAS to be nice or polite?"

let me ask you this, "Where does it say that you HAVE to be a jerk?"
"Where does it say that you HAVE to make fun of someone"
"Where does it say that you HAVE to be mean?"
"" Vile
"" Rude
The list can go on and on. you dont HAVE to be anything. life is full of choices and so many people are making the wrong ones.

Really? Your sure in every scenario that people YOU deem rude are making a wrong choices? Wow..that must be some insight you've got going on there to be able to do that. I believe they call that being 'judgmental'...which in this day in age is a wrong thing or bad thing..is it not?

What YOU deem wrong may to someone else be a perfectly appropriate reaction to YOU. hmmmm...but that can't be right because YOU deem yourself to be nice. Nice must mean 'right' and rude must mean wrong? So how can that be? Why would anyone be rude (read wrong) to someone whose nice (read right).

your getting into a larger and larger broad brush that is painting a skewed version of the topic you first raised...bullies. There is no way to force someone to be nice...there is no way to force a 'nice' clause onto a nation of individuals with varied cultural backgrounds, ethics; and morals. There just isn't. There is no law that states you can't be offended. Look at politics today...it's not much different then the social structure of the high school model you first discussed. But hey...they all 'act' nice on camera. They all smile and say 'hello'. They all pander to their base...but does that make them truly good people? I don't believe so...which is why I don't believe in 'nice'. I believe in truth, being respectful, being a person of your word and being a person who services his or her own responsibilities. Nice can be thrown out the window...replace it with respect and with honesty..and you just may have something worth holding onto.

~Mysty

[bitterclinger84]

Really? Your sure in every scenario that people YOU deem rude are making a wrong choices? Wow..that must be some insight you've got going on there to be able to do that. I believe they call that being 'judgmental'...which in this day in age is a wrong thing or bad thing..is it not?

What YOU deem wrong may to someone else be a perfectly appropriate reaction to YOU. hmmmm...but that can't be right because YOU deem yourself to be nice. Nice must mean 'right' and rude must mean wrong? So how can that be? Why would anyone be rude (read wrong) to someone whose nice (read right).

your getting into a larger and larger broad brush that is painting a skewed version of the topic you first raised...bullies. There is no way to force someone to be nice...there is no way to force a 'nice' clause onto a nation of individuals with varied cultural backgrounds, ethics; and morals. There just isn't. There is no law that states you can't be offended. Look at politics today...it's not much different then the social structure of the high school model you first discussed. But hey...they all 'act' nice on camera. They all smile and say 'hello'. They all pander to their base...but does that make them truly good people? I don't believe so...which is why I don't believe in 'nice'. I believe in truth, being respectful, being a person of your word and being a person who services his or her own responsibilities. Nice can be thrown out the window...replace it with respect and with honesty..and you just may have something worth holding onto.

~Mysty

I don't think that calling people out for bullying is judgemental... I think if you start going down that road, you end up at a place where there is no such thing as objective right and wrong.

[sisyphus]

Really? Your sure in every scenario that people YOU deem rude are making a wrong choices? Wow..that must be some insight you've got going on there to be able to do that. I believe they call that being 'judgmental'...which in this day in age is a wrong thing or bad thing..is it not?

What YOU deem wrong may to someone else be a perfectly appropriate reaction to YOU. hmmmm...but that can't be right because YOU deem yourself to be nice. Nice must mean 'right' and rude must mean wrong? So how can that be? Why would anyone be rude (read wrong) to someone whose nice (read right).

<snip>

~Mysty

Now we are getting into the defining of the real meaning of 'to discriminate'....:sick:
The implication that one can and does make choices based on their nature and upbringing.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

I don't think that calling people out for bullying is judgemental... I think if you start going down that road, you end up at a place where there is no such thing as objective right and wrong.

I agree in large part the base premise of right and wrong in this specific scenerio can be subjective. Which was my point.

The response here was a self based perception of someone being rude verses being polite..right? I could be polite..smile, say hello with a big grin on my face..and that doesn't mean everyone is going to perceive that action as 'nice'. That is the larger point here. Personal perception verses Facts. Add to that..the person who presents as supposedly (by their own statements) nice pointing to someone who isn't (by there own admission others not being nice) being nice..may be doing so by another environmental factor...ie the person who THINKS they are being nice may in fact be a part of the cause for the reaction he or she is receiving. Ah-Ha...I believe we have something Watson! lol.

To constantly have the same reaction by a wide variety of person's with a wide variety in cultural backgrounds treating a person in exactly the same way is suspicious at best. I hardly believe that Cody has only ever experienced bullying type behavior from his/her peers. I do believe Cody is looking to be told he/she is right..and the supposed bully's are wrong. O.K...Bullys are wrong...IF there isn't a causative factor that doesn't make them bullies, but instead would better be defined a reactionaries to a larger issue...personality conflict. I can't give that type of assurance as I don't know Cody or how he/she behaves in public or around his/her peers...just as I don't know the actions of these 'bullies' in which the topic started are disgusting vile little teens.

We can all agree that no one likes a bully. Who can argue that? Thugs...ugh...who wants to deal with one. However that's not Cody's premise or topic. Cody's premise is 'why'. To which I believe many of us have explained to the best of our abilities as to why these personalities exist. Yet...that's not satisfactory to Cody is it? No..he/she still presses forward in wild assertions and larger and larger broad brush statements as to what he/she thinks and judges who is nice verses not nice. My responses have been to make Cody look at the actual statements he or she made..and understand or refine their comments.

~Mysty

[ConservativeCody]

IF everyone could be nice, that would be great, if everyone could be polite, even better, if people had better morale judgement, totally awesome.

but we dont live in a perfect world and there ARE people out there hell-bent on making others peoples lives as miserable as possible.

but its not the action that im getting ticked off at, its the essence of it. The fact it has to exist in the first place. why cant we, as a society root it out? like you said in the movie "Demolition Man" how the society weeded out agression, i wouldnt go that far, agression is part of the drive that makes us sucessful.

but something has to be done about these bullying issues, they are nothing but a blight upon society and a plague upon humanity. Like every disease, it deserves to be purged.

[ConservativeCody]

I agree in large part the base premise of right and wrong in this specific scenerio can be subjective. Which was my point.

The response here was a self based perception of someone being rude verses being polite..right? I could be polite..smile, say hello with a big grin on my face..and that doesn't mean everyone is going to perceive that action as 'nice'. That is the larger point here. Personal perception verses Facts. Add to that..the person who presents as supposedly (by their own statements) nice pointing to someone who isn't (by there own admission others not being nice) being nice..may be doing so by another environmental factor...ie the person who THINKS they are being nice may in fact be a part of the cause for the reaction he or she is receiving. Ah-Ha...I believe we have something Watson! lol.

To constantly have the same reaction by a wide variety of person's with a wide variety in cultural backgrounds treating a person in exactly the same way is suspicious at best. I hardly believe that Cody has only ever experienced bullying type behavior from his/her peers. I do believe Cody is looking to be told he/she is right..and the supposed bully's are wrong. O.K...Bullys are wrong...IF there isn't a causative factor that doesn't make them bullies, but instead would better be defined a reactionaries to a larger issue...personality conflict. I can't give that type of assurance as I don't know Cody or how he/she behaves in public or around his/her peers...just as I don't know the actions of these 'bullies' in which the topic started are disgusting vile little teens.

We can all agree that no one likes a bully. Who can argue that? Thugs...ugh...who wants to deal with one. However that's not Cody's premise or topic. Cody's premise is 'why'. To which I believe many of us have explained to the best of our abilities as to why these personalities exist. Yet...that's not satisfactory to Cody is it? No..he/she still presses forward in wild assertions and larger and larger broad brush statements as to what he/she thinks and judges who is nice verses not nice. My responses have been to make Cody look at the actual statements he or she made..and understand or refine their comments.

~Mysty
+100! i like this alot, finally!!!!!
You just stated what i have been trying to get across, albiet with a little more "Sophisticated' terms. Thank you mysty

IF there isn't a causative factor that doesn't make them bullies

that right there, is what i have been trying to say all along.
Why cant we, as a society, completely get rid of this factor?

[ConservativeCody]

instead of turning a negative into a negative, why dont we turn a negative into a positive? why dont we teach kids to do that?

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

Now we are getting into the defining of the real meaning of 'to discriminate'....:sick:
The implication that one can and does make choices based on their nature and upbringing.

:shifty: discriminate against bullies? or those who complain about them? :whistle:

Nature verses Nurture.. old debate...anyone get the score on which is ahead yet?

~Mysty

[sisyphus]

IF everyone could be nice, that would be great, if everyone could be polite, even better, if people had better morale judgement, totally awesome.

but we dont live in a perfect world and there ARE people out there hell-bent on making others peoples lives as miserable as possible.

but its not the action that im getting ticked off at, its the essence of it. The fact it has to exist in the first place. <snip>


The root cause is too basic to human nature to be removed, IMHO.
We each need to always reach to our 'better angels' and try to treat each other with kindness. Remembering that, no matter how much someone may **** us off, they do have value as a human individual.
:naughty: And learn to hide the bodies if they get too annoying:whistle:;)

[bitterclinger84]

I agree in large part the base premise of right and wrong in this specific scenerio can be subjective. Which was my point.

The response here was a self based perception of someone being rude verses being polite..right? I could be polite..smile, say hello with a big grin on my face..and that doesn't mean everyone is going to perceive that action as 'nice'. That is the larger point here. Personal perception verses Facts. Add to that..the person who presents as supposedly (by their own statements) nice pointing to someone who isn't (by there own admission others not being nice) being nice..may be doing so by another environmental factor...ie the person who THINKS they are being nice may in fact be a part of the cause for the reaction he or she is receiving. Ah-Ha...I believe we have something Watson! lol.

To constantly have the same reaction by a wide variety of person's with a wide variety in cultural backgrounds treating a person in exactly the same way is suspicious at best. I hardly believe that Cody has only ever experienced bullying type behavior from his/her peers. I do believe Cody is looking to be told he/she is right..and the supposed bully's are wrong. O.K...Bullys are wrong...IF there isn't a causative factor that doesn't make them bullies, but instead would better be defined a reactionaries to a larger issue...personality conflict. I can't give that type of assurance as I don't know Cody or how he/she behaves in public or around his/her peers...just as I don't know the actions of these 'bullies' in which the topic started are disgusting vile little teens.

We can all agree that no one likes a bully. Who can argue that? Thugs...ugh...who wants to deal with one. However that's not Cody's premise or topic. Cody's premise is 'why'. To which I believe many of us have explained to the best of our abilities as to why these personalities exist. Yet...that's not satisfactory to Cody is it? No..he/she still presses forward in wild assertions and larger and larger broad brush statements as to what he/she thinks and judges who is nice verses not nice. My responses have been to make Cody look at the actual statements he or she made..and understand or refine their comments.

~Mysty

Hmm...I think I see what you're saying.

But I have to disagree on one point. Regardless of what your personal situation is, certain behaviours are still wrong.

For example:

You are 10 years old and your father is verbally/emotionally/physically abusive. So you go to school and find the smallest kid in class and beat the **** out of him.

Wrong. Plain and simple. Is there more to the story than "That kid's a jerk!"? Of course there is! But explaining a behaviour should never be the same as excusing it.

[ConservativeCody]

:shifty: discriminate against bullies? or those who complain about them? :whistle:

Nature verses Nurture.. old debate...anyone get the score on which is ahead yet?

~Mysty


i believe they are tied, since they both have an impact on who the child becomes. But choice is what makes the child who he/she really is. they have a choice to let thier parents/environment affect them/ influence who they are. Its all a matter of choice, and if we took that away, we would take away the very thing that makes us human and not wild animals.

i realize that people make bad choices, that they do bad/ stupid things. I realize that not every teen is a hormone controlled bag of bones, i realize that not every bully has the same story, I realize that victims can stand up and fight.

I understand that not everything is black and white, i know that in between there is nothing but shades of grey, i realize that everything can be percieved totally different, that manors and cultural influences have a huge impact on how we perceive people.

Like mysty said, im just trying to understand the essence of "Why".


of why people live in those shades of grey instead of the confines of black and white. of what is right and what is wrong. I know that there will always be a debate on what is morally/ethically acceptable.

im really just trying to understand the essence of "Why"
like i said before, i can never see myself making fun of someone for sport, like i said, its kind of "Alien" to me, and to see other people doing it is WRONG to me. To others, it might be a way of the bully releasing thier feelings. Or to some they make out the bully to be just another victim of fate.

All this is fine and dandy, but i still never get my question answered. and that is "Why?"

[ConservativeCody]

and i guess you havent realized this, but i know that there is never going to be a satisfactory answer as to "Why" bullies exhist. I realize this, this was all a scheme so i could show people that there IS no reason good enough, There is no ACCEPTABLE answer.

No matter how you look at it ,bullying is wrong.

you could give all the reasons in the world, and none of them will ever be good enough to justify the existence of bullies/bullying.

Therefore, we as a society should root it out. If there is no acceptable answer as to why it should exist, then why does it?

[bitterclinger84]

*throws hands in the air and walks away*

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

Hmm...I think I see what you're saying.

But I have to disagree on one point. Regardless of what your personal situation is, certain behaviours are still wrong.

For example:

You are 10 years old and your father is verbally/emotionally/physically abusive. So you go to school and find the smallest kid in class and beat the **** out of him.

Wrong. Plain and simple. Is there more to the story than "That kid's a jerk!"? Of course there is! But explaining a behaviour should never be the same as excusing it.

Agreed..even if we understand the rationale behind the behavior..the behavior is destructive...why? It intrudes upon another human beings physical person. Which is wrong.

Same example you gave.but altered some.....same boy..Dad pushes it to far one night..years of verbal and physical abuse...Dads goes to wail on the son...and the son beats the living you know what outta of the Dad. Is that Right or Wrong? Is not the Dad the causative factor for the son's behavior?..whether we deem the base act of hitting someone right or wrong...does not the environmental factor then justify the reason making it right..or at the very least self defense?

Now, take Cody's example...what's the causative factor in that scenario? Every peer bullies him/her for no apparent reason? Now that seems odd doesn't it? Especially in light of the example I expounded upon.....:whistle: Unless the point is to be made that no causative factor was ever present..and just outta shear draw of bad luck it was Cody's day in the barrel? For four years of high school?. ....mmmm....really nice guy/gal...constant bullying.....hmmmm ...school admin. issuing a 'no more coming to the office to complain' note.....sorry..I'm patient and I'm loving toward my fellow man...but I'm not buying it. There's a piece missing here. A really big piece....

Maybe it's just me...

~Mysty

[bitterclinger84]

Agreed..even if we understand the rationale behind the behavior..the behavior is destructive...why? It intrudes upon another human beings physical person. Which is wrong.

Yay! We agree :)

Same example you gave.but altered some.....same boy..Dad pushes it to far one night..years of verbal and physical abuse...Dads goes to wail on the son...and the son beats the living you know what outta of the Dad. Is that Right or Wrong? Is not the Dad the causative factor for the son's behavior?..whether we deem the base act of hitting someone right or wrong...does not the environmental factor then justify the reason making it right..or at the very least self defense?

Self defense, pure and simple. Hell, even if he shot and killed his dad, I'd rule no foul on that one. Agreed?

Now, take Cody's example...what's the causative factor in that scenario? Every peer bullies him/her for no apparent reason? Now that seems odd doesn't it? Especially in light of the example I expounded upon.....:whistle: Unless the point is to be made that no causative factor was ever present..and just outta shear draw of bad luck it was Cody's day in the barrel? For four years of high school?. ....mmmm....really nice guy/gal...constant bullying.....hmmmm ...school admin. issuing a 'no more coming to the office to complain' note.....sorry..I'm patient and I'm loving toward my fellow man...but I'm not buying it. There's a piece missing here. A really big piece....

I dunno, you could be right. Maybe he/she was just really nerdy *shrugs* There are those kids that pretty much everyone picks on because they're not "normal". And those are usually the kids behind the Columbines....

Maybe it's just me...

~Mysty

Again, you could have a point, but I don't know enough about the situation to make a judgement call.

[ConservativeCody]

Agreed..even if we understand the rationale behind the behavior..the behavior is destructive...why? It intrudes upon another human beings physical person. Which is wrong.

Same example you gave.but altered some.....same boy..Dad pushes it to far one night..years of verbal and physical abuse...Dads goes to wail on the son...and the son beats the living you know what outta of the Dad. Is that Right or Wrong? Is not the Dad the causative factor for the son's behavior?..whether we deem the base act of hitting someone right or wrong...does not the environmental factor then justify the reason making it right..or at the very least self defense?

Now, take Cody's example...what's the causative factor in that scenario? Every peer bullies him/her for no apparent reason? Now that seems odd doesn't it? Especially in light of the example I expounded upon.....:whistle: Unless the point is to be made that no causative factor was ever present..and just outta shear draw of bad luck it was Cody's day in the barrel? For four years of high school?. ....mmmm....really nice guy/gal...constant bullying.....hmmmm ...school admin. issuing a 'no more coming to the office to complain' note.....sorry..I'm patient and I'm loving toward my fellow man...but I'm not buying it. There's a piece missing here. A really big piece....

Maybe it's just me...

~Mysty

again, not an instigator, im actually a mute ( i can speak, i just choose not to most of the time), i never even looked at them. and i never got picked on in highschool, it was only in middle school, we moved to Florida for my high school, we werent going to put up with the same kids in highschool that we did in middle school.

My mom went into one of the offices and got caught in the door, and the kids in the office began laughing at her. she turned around and told them "Arnt you in trouble, arnt you supposed to be quiet" and they had to odacity to tell her to shut up, and continue laughing. Absolutely sickening.

and the secretary right there said nothing
ms diane peak said nothing.
My mom looked at Ms peak and all ms peak said, "they are already suspended, we cant do anything more to them"
i think it was just the lack of care in public schools. They really dont care about the students, once in a while you'll get the rare teacher/administrator that does.




i tried telling her for years that the current administration was incompetent, but she had to see it to believe it herself. She never believed that kids could be so cruel becuase they were never that way when she was in school.

You are right mysty


times have changed.


.

[ConservativeCody]

and that thing about that note, it wanst a note, it was just a thought.

i was telling her how to do her job becuase she wasnt doing it well. i wounded her pride in an attempt to get her to understand what im going through. IT didnt work.

[Gabby]

If you're having problem now because of something that happend years ago, you need help. Either you stand up for yourself or get ran over. When I cam e to AZ and I had a Bully come up to me one time and it was his last because I broke his nose and tore his ear when I hit him upside the head.

If you have a kid that is bullied tell him or her to knock the hell out of the other kid because a bully doesn't like to do real battle. BTW, yes I got into trouble but it was worth it. Wow one day in detention. LMAO

Schools today practice what they call zero tollerance. A school kid who does what you describe here where I live, the kid who broke the nose and tore the ear will be in the d-home for a couple of years for assault.

Schools seem to allow the bullying. They will prosecute child who uses physical violence to stand up for him/herself or protects him/her self.

[ConservativeCody]

Schools today practice what they call zero tollerance. A school kid who does what you describe here where I live, the kid who broke the nose and tore the ear will be in the d-home for a couple of years for assault.

Schools seem to allow the bullying. They will prosecute child who uses physical violence to stand up for him/herself or protects him/her self.

exactly, the kid who uses physical contact is the one that gets into worse trouble,becuase of this zero tolerance policy. even if the kid was defending himself from a verbal assault , its all about whoever threw the first punch.

[ConservativeCody]

which is why i coudlnt do anythinga bout the bullying besides report it to the administrators.

[bitterclinger84]

Schools today practice what they call zero tollerance. A school kid who does what you describe here where I live, the kid who broke the nose and tore the ear will be in the d-home for a couple of years for assault.

Schools seem to allow the bullying. They will prosecute child who uses physical violence to stand up for him/herself or protects him/her self.

This is what I was talking about earlier.

As a society, we've taken such a namby-pamby sissified approach to bullies, that the bullies have prevailed. :mad:

[angelicmadrigal]

pfft, I got what you would consider "bullied" and sexually harassed. I survived. Learned some valuable lessons from it to. "Don't take **** from people." and "People suck". Sometimes life isn't good, you have to deal with *******s. That's just the way it is. There's two ways to deal with it: learn how to cope or lay down and die.

[Gabby]

which is why i coudlnt do anythinga bout the bullying besides report it to the administrators.

I was in high school a very long time ago.... graduated in 1968. There was a girl i my school who got picked on horribly. She was tall, almost 6 ft in 9th grade. She had a large nose, was homely and she was very shy. The other students used to call her 'banana nose' and tease her all the time. I never could figure out why anyone would treat another person that way. I was always nice to her because I was brought up to treat all people with respect. But she and I never became friends. The way she was treated was horrible. I used to get on the case of anyone I saw treating her that way. But it only stopped the meanness for the time I was around.

In the end, she got the last laugh. Last I heard of her, she went to college, turned into a real beauty, got her degree and went on to have a good life. But I image that her high school days are a black cloud in her life.

The only reason I can figure out that so many mistreated her I high school is that she was shy and had no friends to buffer her. She was an easy target… and some people are just raised to be snotty brats who mistreat others.

I feel for what you went through. You say that you are often ‘mutt’ by choice. I can image that this alone was enough to make people single you out. Junior high is especially rough because the kids , especially the older ones, think that are soooo tough and soooo mature. It’s a tough age for kids I general. So they often pick on the kids who they can get away with picking on.

[Gabby]

exactly, the kid who uses physical contact is the one that gets into worse trouble,becuase of this zero tolerance policy. even if the kid was defending himself from a verbal assault , its all about whoever threw the first punch.

In our schools both kids get punished if there is a fight. They do not care who started the fight or why it happened. They will press charges against both kids. So even if a student defends themself from an attack... they can end up being charged with assault of one type or another.

[ConservativeCody]

I was in high school a very long time ago.... graduated in 1968. There was a girl i my school who got picked on horribly. She was tall, almost 6 ft in 9th grade. She had a large nose, was homely and she was very shy. The other students used to call her 'banana nose' and tease her all the time. I never could figure out why anyone would treat another person that way. I was always nice to her because I was brought up to treat all people with respect. But she and I never became friends. The way she was treated was horrible. I used to get on the case of anyone I saw treating her that way. But it only stopped the meanness for the time I was around.

In the end, she got the last laugh. Last I heard of her, she went to college, turned into a real beauty, got her degree and went on to have a good life. But I image that her high school days are a black cloud in her life.

The only reason I can figure out that so many mistreated her I high school is that she was shy and had no friends to buffer her. She was an easy target… and some people are just raised to be snotty brats who mistreat others.

I feel for what you went through. You say that you are often ‘mutt’ by choice. I can image that this alone was enough to make people single you out. Junior high is especially rough because the kids , especially the older ones, think that are soooo tough and soooo mature. It’s a tough age for kids I general. So they often pick on the kids who they can get away with picking on.

100% true.

[ConservativeCody]

im only a talker when i find something im passionate about. I have been on hannity forums every day for the past year and a half or something, and i finally joined in febuary, and then i only speak on the forums about something im very passionate about.

I usually sit and listen to what other people have to say and then i make my own inference. So i do know a thing or two (mysty), when im talking about teenagers, becuase i see them, and listen to them. They completely disgust me.

[Gabby]

I'm baffled. So what? We just allow the bullies to attack someone to teach them a life lesson? Completely unacceptable. The point im still trying to get across, which everyone is ignoring.... is WHY they have to be like that in the first place. What in the hell gives them the right?

Cody,

What gives them the right is that they can do it and no one stops them.

IMHO, school administrations should keep an eye on this and do things to stop the harrassment of students. School counselors can help a student learn how to deal with it. It seems to me that bullying is becoming more of a problem in our schools as the school administrations loose more and more control over the student's behaviors.

[notluzn]

Schools today practice what they call zero tollerance. A school kid who does what you describe here where I live, the kid who broke the nose and tore the ear will be in the d-home for a couple of years for assault.

Schools seem to allow the bullying. They will prosecute child who uses physical violence to stand up for him/herself or protects him/her self.

And this is why those wimpy kids are going to be pick on and made fun of and run to mommy crying and the bully will still keep getting his way with the other kids. What ever works

[notluzn]

Cody, I can honestly say, you need to open your eyes a bit wider and see a larger picture and understand that you'll never understand why unless you just except the fact that it's part of human nature and will never go away.

[notluzn]

In our schools both kids get punished if there is a fight. They do not care who started the fight or why it happened. They will press charges against both kids. So even if a student defends themself from an attack... they can end up being charged with assault of one type or another.What school is that? I work with many SRO's and they find out who started it and take that one down to Detention center.

[notluzn]

And geeze stupid people wonder LOL :)) :)) :))This is what I was talking about earlier.

As a society, we've taken such a namby-pamby sissified approach to bullies, that the bullies have prevailed. :mad:

[notluzn]

The Administators can care less and have enough to do. How about bring back paddling back to schools?which is why i coudlnt do anythinga bout the bullying besides report it to the administrators.

[Dragon1963]

I must have had a bully that wasn't human then. All this talk about bullies will do this if you do that. I call it ********, because I did everything. I ignored my bully when he wasn't bothering me, I stood up to him, I ratted on him, etc., etc.,etc. and all it go me was misery for nearly two full years of school. The only reason I survived those years is I had friends and teachers who kept me from total emotional meltdown.

[jantwenty1981]

A few years ago my then 6th grade daughter reported a girl for stealing someone's cell phone. When the thief and her "gang" found out, they began harassing her, pushing her against lockers, dumping her backpack contents. One of them said she was going to kill my daughter. The school claims they take threats seriously. When we discussed it with the vice principal and requested the girl be suspended, as their rules state, the v.p. told us, "You don't really want her suspended do you? What will she do during the day, her parents both work? We can't have her staying home alone." Every time we've had a problem with bullies, the schools blow it off. We actually moved to a different school area to avoid the gang. When the time for high school came, that same gang and my daughter ended up in the same school again. The same bully began harassing her again, saying she was going to smash my daughter's face in. The principal merely told her to stay away from my daughter. Wow. Needless to say, my daughter now does online high school.

[Greyclouds]

Not in a Million Years. It's in all DNA to target the weak. Do we or don't we is the only difference.

You are correct, but there are some people who are genetically predisposed to not be aggressive.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monoamine_oxidase

Lower expression of MAO genes leads to more aggressive behavior. Sadly, this sort of behavior has been preserved since the beginnings of our species. The more aggressive person wins in the race to reproduce. The shy person who sits in the corner is less likely to reproduce.

The saying, "nice guys finish last," really does have a biological basis.



Having said that, one solution to avoid being bullied is to use very surgical physical violence that won't result in permanent damage, disability or other repercussions. People CAN take this too far, and if they do, you get VERY bad situations. Just be prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions though. Bullies who have been humiliated can hold a grudge...

[MrShotShot]

I must have had a bully that wasn't human then. All this talk about bullies will do this if you do that. I call it ********, because I did everything. I ignored my bully when he wasn't bothering me, I stood up to him, I ratted on him, etc., etc.,etc. and all it go me was misery for nearly two full years of school. The only reason I survived those years is I had friends and teachers who kept me from total emotional meltdown.

Did you beat him within an inch of his life with a baseball bat?

That's what I did to my bully in high school. And yes, I got in serious trouble for it. But you know what, he never bothered me again.

[Dragon1963]

Did you beat him within an inch of his life with a baseball bat?

That's what I did to my bully in high school. And yes, I got in serious trouble for it. But you know what, he never bothered me again.

No, I didn't. School was on a military base and we didn't live close enough to the bully for me to find him alone on a weekend to beat him with a bat.

Besides if I had taken a bat with me to school the principle or one of the teachers would have taken it away from me as I entered.

[notluzn]

Lower expression of MAO genes leads to more aggressive behavior. Sadly, this sort of behavior has been preserved since the beginnings of our species. The more aggressive person wins in the race to reproduce. The shy person who sits in the corner is less likely to reproduce.

... And just like it is, women want men who can protect them or will fight, not someone that is a big fat wimp.

[angelicmadrigal]

And just like it is, women want men who can protect them or will fight, not someone that is a big fat wimp.

Why exactly would I require or want a man to protect me?