A New Kind of "Broken Home"

[heritagemom]

Thanks to the economy (and our dear leader), my husband now works in another state at a job that pays less than his former job. He was "lucky" to have found this job, but moving with him was not a good option. Houses are not selling where we live, our kid's school and friends are here as are our friends and support system. My husband is only able to come home every six to eight weeks which makes it difficult for our kids (I try to remain strong for them). As I share our story, I hear more and more about other families forced to live in the same way; one parent works in another state and commutes home when convenient or affordable. The new label for this is "geographically single". I have such an appreciation for military families who go through this for years at a time. I guess I should feel lucky that my husband isn't in harm's way every day. It has been one full year for us so far. We have adapted, but it has changed the dynamics of our family greatly. Our marriage has changed (some good, some bad) and the kids (though they still love him) have definitely drifted away from their dad. This is the hardest part by far. Seems our economy has created a new kind of broken home. Any others with similar circumstances?

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

I'm empathetic for your circumstances. A loss of a job is difficult when you have a family/responsibilities.

I have to wonder...and this in no way is meant as a chastisement...with your husband making less money at his new job...finding and taking work in another state...only able to come home once a month to every other month...how is this a solution to your financial need/problem? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to take a lower paying job where you currently live? Think of the savings you would have if he didn't have to pay for separate housing, travel/food while working/living in another state. Having to keep you and your children in your home in another state has to be financially draining.

Rent out your home until the market comes back up. Move to the state where your husband is currently working. Kids will learn to adapt when moved to a new area and it teaches them valuable life lessons they will need as adults. It's always a better choice to give a few material things up to keep a family together. Friends will still be friends..and you and the kids will make new friends as well. Heck, that's what the telephone and internet are for..keeping in touch.

I've not heard this story from other families..but I don't doubt it happens. It should only be a temporary solution...not a long term lifestyle imo.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family....

~Mysty

[RTchoke]

We had to do that for awhile too, but luckily he was only 4 hours away one way. He spent the week on my sister and brother in laws couch during the week and home on weekend. Luckily he found something closer and we didn't have to do it any longer. It was very wearing. We didn't even have a kid then either.

[heritagemom]

I'm empathetic for your circumstances. A loss of a job is difficult when you have a family/responsibilities.

I have to wonder...and this in no way is meant as a chastisement...with your husband making less money at his new job...finding and taking work in another state...only able to come home once a month to every other month...how is this a solution to your financial need/problem? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to take a lower paying job where you currently live? Think of the savings you would have if he didn't have to pay for separate housing, travel/food while working/living in another state. Having to keep you and your children in your home in another state has to be financially draining.

Rent out your home until the market comes back up. Move to the state where your husband is currently working. Kids will learn to adapt when moved to a new area and it teaches them valuable life lessons they will need as adults. It's always a better choice to give a few material things up to keep a family together. Friends will still be friends..and you and the kids will make new friends as well. Heck, that's what the telephone and internet are for..keeping in touch.

I've not heard this story from other families..but I don't doubt it happens. It should only be a temporary solution...not a long term lifestyle imo.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family....

~Mysty


You make good points, however we have worked through many, many options to keep our family together. It's not always cut and dry, and what sounds good in theory, doesn't always work out in real life.

So let me share a few additional circumstances that may help you understand. First, we had hoped this would be a short term situation. My husband was and is still looking for work nearer to our home. I'm not overstating this ... there is none! My son requires special medical care and the physicians we have worked with and know his situation best are near our home. We did consider selling our home, but most houses in our area are on the market from six to twelve months. We considered renting it out, but decided to leave that as a last resort. Initially, my husband's company paid for his housing;that will run out in January 2010. We Skype every day, and even though it is great to be able to see one another, it's not the real deal. As far as my kids adjusting or being adaptable, I think they do very well as it is. Again, in theory, I may agree that giving things up to be together as a family is good. It depends on what you have to give up and we may yet do that. Not looking for sympathy, just others who understand.

[NascarGirl2448]

My parents went through that when I was very young. My mom and I were in Seattle, my dad had taken a job back east and was living in North Carolina. We were in Seattle for 2 years before we were finally able to move and actually live in the same house. Before that the only time I saw my dad was when mom and I would fly out for Christmas.

[ArmyMAJretired]

When I was growing up, my Dad worked constuction as a steam fitter. When housing slumped in the early 70's for about a year he had to work in other states.

We turned out OK. Mom kept the home fires burning and he came home about once a month for a weekend.

[CaptPops]

I've not heard this story from other families..but I don't doubt it happens. It should only be a temporary solution...not a long term lifestyle imo.



~Mysty

Think Military...

[angelicmadrigal]

Think Military...

That happens very frequently in the military or so I'm told.

Also wasn't there a period in American history where a large amount of men left their families headed someplace to build something, and then sent money home. I'm thinking Alaska pipeline, but i'm not sure.

[DRS]

Thanks to the economy (and our dear leader), my husband now works in another state at a job that pays less than his former job. He was "lucky" to have found this job, but moving with him was not a good option. Houses are not selling where we live, our kid's school and friends are here as are our friends and support system. My husband is only able to come home every six to eight weeks which makes it difficult for our kids (I try to remain strong for them). As I share our story, I hear more and more about other families forced to live in the same way; one parent works in another state and commutes home when convenient or affordable. The new label for this is "geographically single". I have such an appreciation for military families who go through this for years at a time. I guess I should feel lucky that my husband isn't in harm's way every day. It has been one full year for us so far. We have adapted, but it has changed the dynamics of our family greatly. Our marriage has changed (some good, some bad) and the kids (though they still love him) have definitely drifted away from their dad. This is the hardest part by far. Seems our economy has created a new kind of broken home. Any others with similar circumstances?

New?

When I was a kid my dad had to move hours away across until a place was ready for us, I say him like every second weekend

Then he had another job working as consultant travelling all over the US. It was like that for 10 years, and guess what it was not any politicians fault.

[jimjames418]

There are several occupations that require living away from home for periods of time. Think oil rigs in the gulf or the ocean. Think of crews on ships that are away from home. Heck even the barges on the Mississippi River have crews that away from home for up to a month at a time.

[heritagemom]

There are several occupations that require living away from home for periods of time. Think oil rigs in the gulf or the ocean. Think of crews on ships that are away from home. Heck even the barges on the Mississippi River have crews that away from home for up to a month at a time.

Taking nothing away from those families that live apart, for whatever reason, there seems to be a new trend with families, as a result of recent job losses, where either the husband or wife leave the home base to take a job in another location (choosing to keep the home base intact). And, this trend seems directly linked to the current administration's policies which have decimated so many companies. Why are families keeping the home base intact? Because they have little confidence that the new job will last long term either and they don't want to keep uprooting a home.

[angelicmadrigal]

Taking nothing away from those families that live apart, for whatever reason, there seems to be a new trend with families, as a result of recent job losses, where either the husband or wife leave the home base to take a job in another location (choosing to keep the home base intact). .

It's actually not a new trend. It has a lot of basis in history. Might be new to you, but it is certainly not new in the context of history.

[nick21ia]

It is not new and has nothing to do with the policies of the current administration or the old one. We were put down this path awhile ago, we are just now feeling the effects of decades of financial mismanagement by the FED.

[gdoane]

I'd run the numbers and see what the costs of living in two different places are. I know average monthly rent in Phoenix is $1,000 and hacking an extra $12,000 per year off of an income is a pretty hefty slice by any standard.

Plus there's the extra insurance, extra transportation, and I really wouldn't be surprised to come up with a figure that makes living apart cost about $20,000 extra per year than living together would.

That would make a $10 per hour pay cut make sense if it meant only maintaining one residence instead of dual residences.

It might mean a career change, but that happens to most everybody. I thought, honestly, that I'd be working in air traffic control communications at this point in my life. It's what I wanted to do, it's what I'm trained for but instead I'm working on 911 communications systems which is kind of related and actually more fun. Actually, I thought I'd be a linguistic expert and translator but soon found out that it's a whole lot of work for a teeny bit of money. Electronics is plan "B" already.

Everybody needs a plan "B", and when you're on plan "B" you need to work on plan "C".

[heritagemom]

I'd run the numbers and see what the costs of living in two different places are. I know average monthly rent in Phoenix is $1,000 and hacking an extra $12,000 per year off of an income is a pretty hefty slice by any standard.

Plus there's the extra insurance, extra transportation, and I really wouldn't be surprised to come up with a figure that makes living apart cost about $20,000 extra per year than living together would.

That would make a $10 per hour pay cut make sense if it meant only maintaining one residence instead of dual residences.

It might mean a career change, but that happens to most everybody. I thought, honestly, that I'd be working in air traffic control communications at this point in my life. It's what I wanted to do, it's what I'm trained for but instead I'm working on 911 communications systems which is kind of related and actually more fun. Actually, I thought I'd be a linguistic expert and translator but soon found out that it's a whole lot of work for a teeny bit of money. Electronics is plan "B" already.

Everybody needs a plan "B", and when you're on plan "B" you need to work on plan "C".

Who are you? Did you not read the prior posts? I seriously doubt you have ever been faced with this situation. Read before you reply. The way we live is IN FACT the most cost effective way. If that changes, we'll let you know.

[heritagemom]

It is not new and has nothing to do with the policies of the current administration or the old one. We were put down this path awhile ago, we are just now feeling the effects of decades of financial mismanagement by the FED.


Ummm yes, it does have to do with the policies of the current administration. And yes, it is a NEW trend brought on by these policies.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

You make good points, however we have worked through many, many options to keep our family together. It's not always cut and dry, and what sounds good in theory, doesn't always work out in real life.

So let me share a few additional circumstances that may help you understand. First, we had hoped this would be a short term situation. My husband was and is still looking for work nearer to our home. I'm not overstating this ... there is none! My son requires special medical care and the physicians we have worked with and know his situation best are near our home. We did consider selling our home, but most houses in our area are on the market from six to twelve months. We considered renting it out, but decided to leave that as a last resort. Initially, my husband's company paid for his housing;that will run out in January 2010. We Skype every day, and even though it is great to be able to see one another, it's not the real deal. As far as my kids adjusting or being adaptable, I think they do very well as it is. Again, in theory, I may agree that giving things up to be together as a family is good. It depends on what you have to give up and we may yet do that. Not looking for sympathy, just others who understand.

I do understand..as I pointed out in my first post to you..this is no way a chastisement or a casting of dispersion upon your choices. I've been where you are...and it landed me in Phoenix to accompany my own hubby while he finished up school. We ended up living there for two years...apart in the beginning for 4 months (we lived in California at the time..still do).

Looking at our outgo and income, it was I who choose to make the move in order to not only be under the same roof with my husband...but to save a boat load of money in the process. We knew no one in Az....which was a bit frighting..but doable. My middle child is/was a sever asthmatic...we ended up finding a wonderful doctor in Az who took very good care of her. As I've said..I've been there. It was, all in all, a wonderful experience...taking no second place...being together.

Granted..we didn't have to sell a home...which seems to be the largest sticking point in your own situation. Life happens quickly...and not always as we planned. Being together is the most precious thing you've got...hold onto it like it were gold! That's my best advice.

Skype is a great tool...as is the phone, internet and Twitter...but it's not the same is it? As a woman..I wanted and needed my man by my side. Worlds a big lonely place...made all the more palpable when your holding down base camp by yourself. Take a deep breath...dig deep into yourself as the CFO of your household...and do what's best for your family. The rest will follow. Perhaps a complete change for all of you would be a better solution? Meaning...have hubby look for work in a place you might consider moving too? You can pre-check out doctors, schools, area's..all from the comfort of your keyboard.

Hold fast...hold tight..and get that family under one roof asap. I know it's hard out there...only bearable as a unit, strong and loving to endure what's around each corner.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family..

~Mysty

[gdoane]

Who are you?

I'm Gene Doane, a radio network engineer living in Phoenix, Arizona. Nobody of consequence. Decorated war veteran, if that counts for much. I've done more for this nation that Obama could claim.


Did you not read the prior posts?

Of course I did. I always read through an entire thread before I reply to it.

I seriously doubt you have ever been faced with this situation.

That's not actually true. I've been on deployments to the Persian Gulf, to the North Sea, to the Mediterranean Ocean and it's a fact that I've sailed on five of the seven seas. So you're telling me I haven't been around? I've been all the way around this world and back. Doubt all you want. I've faced all kinds of situations.

Read before you reply. The way we live is IN FACT the most cost effective way. If that changes, we'll let you know.

I'm not one to tell people how to spend their money. I've got some $80,000 in video games in my living room. Probably not a wise investment but it's my money and I'll spend it how I like. I'm wasteful and frivolous. I can afford to be. I owe zero credit card debt and my house is nearly paid off.

You'd be AMAZED the kind of money you have when you aren't borrowing jack.

All I suggested was to review costs vs. income. Sorry you thought I was insulting your intelligence. You asked advice and I gave it. Color me stupid.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

Think Military...

That is a career choice..and one that yes, keeps family's apart. However, that is not this situation is it? This situation is a family who was already on a life track..when life threw a curve ball..and had to relook for oppertunities..which now keeps them seperated.

Someone else mentioned oil rig workers. Again..true..kept apart for weeks at a time ...and is a chosen career path....not a 'on a whim' type of work for a family who was already on track.

there are many jobs that require a family be apart. That is not this situation however. I thought that patently clear if one read the OP. :eh:

~Mysty

[gdoane]

That is a career choice..and one that yes, keeps family's apart. However, that is not this situation is it? This situation is a family who was already on a life track..when life threw a curve ball..and had to relook for oppertunities..which now keeps them seperated.

This is going to sound nuts, but it's true.

I was 8 years old, living in Wellington, KS when I heard about Phoenix, AZ in 1972. I made up my mind that I wanted to live there. My parents wound up buying a house in Phoenix in 1974, making me a very happy boy.

There's no way in heck you're getting me to move out of Phoenix. I wasn't born here (I was born in Indiana) but I'm gonna stay here. While I served in the U.S. Navy, I never felt at home anywhere but Phoenix.

I'm a single guy, I should be fairly mobile but my home town is Phoenix. I've lived in Kansas, Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Virginia and Louisiana but Phoenix is where I belong.
You can't buy me out of here. The US Navy tried, they offered me $50,000 cash to re-enlist and stay in Virginia. Yeah, right. Not happening. I wanted Arizona. Living on the east coast stifles me. I can't stand it that long.

Someone else mentioned oil rig workers. Again..true..kept apart for weeks at a time ...and is a chosen career path....not a 'on a whim' type of work for a family who was already on track.

there are many jobs that require a family be apart. That is not this situation however. I thought that patently clear if one read the OP. :eh:

~Mysty

Thing being, I don't think all that many career paths are "chosen" per se. I know I'm not doing today what I thought I'd be doing when I was in school.

If we could choose careers, then we'd all be rock stars or quarterbacks, but life doesn't work that way.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

This is going to sound nuts, but it's true.

I was 8 years old, living in Wellington, KS when I heard about Phoenix, AZ in 1972. I made up my mind that I wanted to live there. My parents wound up buying a house in Phoenix in 1974, making me a very happy boy.

There's no way in heck you're getting me to move out of Phoenix. I wasn't born here (I was born in Indiana) but I'm gonna stay here. While I served in the U.S. Navy, I never felt at home anywhere but Phoenix.

I'm a single guy, I should be fairly mobile but my home town is Phoenix. I've lived in Kansas, Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Virginia and Louisiana but Phoenix is where I belong.
You can't buy me out of here. The US Navy tried, they offered me $50,000 cash to re-enlist and stay in Virginia. Yeah, right. Not happening. I wanted Arizona. Living on the east coast stifles me. I can't stand it that long.

I completely understand. No...it's not nuts. Born and raised Cali girl here..and although I enjoyed your state and it's kind hospitable people, I yearned for home. So yeah, I get it. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. California is large enough that I can move a few hours and feel like I'm in a whole new world. Kinda spoiled really. We're moving to Pismo Beach come January...just lining up jobs to move too. I can't wait. Empty nest does serve a purpose...you get to have a life! lol.



Thing being, I don't think all that many career paths are "chosen" per se. I know I'm not doing today what I thought I'd be doing when I was in school.

If we could choose careers, then we'd all be rock stars or quarterbacks, but life doesn't work that way.

Again, your statement isn't wrong. I wasn't exactly overtly clear in what I was trying to say. Let me try again. There are those who begin a career and end up miles away from what they began as. Like your education verses what you do now...miles apart. Many change careers mid step...going from say military to oil rig...or from accounting to business owner...beauty shop operator to nurse. So on and so forth. Happens all the time.

What I meant was, one looses a job. Has responsibilities that must be met. You grab whatever suits your purpose and don't complain about it. You always have your eye towards what field you want to work in...keeping a temporary job to meet the responsibilities you have. That more fits in with the OP. No warning, loss of job..no jobs in the immediate town in which they live...first job available is hours away...you grab it and run with it until you can latch onto your next move.

Dealing with life's little punches has it's rewards as well as it's pitfalls. Having the family in two separate locations is one of the pitfalls. To those who have not had any real trauma in their life...no real slapping around by ole life...it can feel traumatic. The loss can feel tremendous. I believe that is more what the OP was trying to get across...trying to get a handle in ways to cope..reaching out to find others who may be in the same situation. It's hard out there...and it's hurting those who normally wouldn't be affected.

Personally, I've lived so much life for my short 43 years, that nothing shocks me anymore. Loss? Huh...yeah...that's life. You can always regain what you lose however. It's wanting what you have...not having what you think you want that wins the day every time. :shhh:


~Mysty

[DRS]

Taking nothing away from those families that live apart, for whatever reason, there seems to be a new trend with families, as a result of recent job losses, where either the husband or wife leave the home base to take a job in another location (choosing to keep the home base intact). And, this trend seems directly linked to the current administration's policies which have decimated so many companies. Why are families keeping the home base intact? Because they have little confidence that the new job will last long term either and they don't want to keep uprooting a home.

Your family decides to not live together has nothing to do with the politicians that has do with your own priorities.

You want an example of where you can blame the pols, I will give you one. When I was a kid our family was friends with a family where the wife had been kicked out of Russia as she served no purpose and the husband was sent to work in the mines in Russia.

[angelicmadrigal]

there are many jobs that require a family be apart. That is not this situation however. I thought that patently clear if one read the OP. :eh:

~Mysty

Actually, a lot of the men that LEFT and built the Alaska pipeline did so because they felt they had no other opptions either. It's a fairly similair situation. So again it's not a new trend. That is the whole point I've been making. When times are tough this happens, it's part of life., but it is definately not a new trend.

[smyrna]

Thanks to the economy (and our dear leader), my husband now works in another state at a job that pays less than his former job. He was "lucky" to have found this job, but moving with him was not a good option. Houses are not selling where we live, our kid's school and friends are here as are our friends and support system. My husband is only able to come home every six to eight weeks which makes it difficult for our kids (I try to remain strong for them). As I share our story, I hear more and more about other families forced to live in the same way; one parent works in another state and commutes home when convenient or affordable. The new label for this is "geographically single". I have such an appreciation for military families who go through this for years at a time. I guess I should feel lucky that my husband isn't in harm's way every day. It has been one full year for us so far. We have adapted, but it has changed the dynamics of our family greatly. Our marriage has changed (some good, some bad) and the kids (though they still love him) have definitely drifted away from their dad. This is the hardest part by far. Seems our economy has created a new kind of broken home. Any others with similar circumstances?

You can thank both Republicans and Democrats for NAFTA. You can thank both the Republicans and Democrats for the legislation that caused the economic disaster in mortgage loans. Our current President is a factor but he is only a part of the problem.

[Old_Mil]

That happens very frequently in the military or so I'm told.

Also wasn't there a period in American history where a large amount of men left their families headed someplace to build something, and then sent money home. I'm thinking Alaska pipeline, but i'm not sure.

This happened during the great depression in large numbers. It's a testament to the times we live in that it is happening again.

[Old_Mil]

Personally, I've lived so much life for my short 43 years, that nothing shocks me anymore. Loss? Huh...yeah...that's life. You can always regain what you lose however.

With the exception of the world's most valuable commodity: time.

[betwixt]

I completely understand. No...it's not nuts. Born and raised Cali girl here..and although I enjoyed your state and it's kind hospitable people, I yearned for home. So yeah, I get it. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. California is large enough that I can move a few hours and feel like I'm in a whole new world. Kinda spoiled really. We're moving to Pismo Beach come January...just lining up jobs to move too. I can't wait. Empty nest does serve a purpose...you get to have a life! lol.

I know exactly what you are talking about. Born and lived there for 23 yrs (I have moved away). It was awesome to be able to, go north 5 or 6 hours and get into the big trees, or go east and visit Reno or Las Vegas or the siera's. Go west and see Frisco and Santa Barbera, or head south and see....well...I never thought there was much of anything down southern Ca.:D. I miss that aspect of the Sac. area, being able to visit so many different locales.






~Mysty

I know exactly what you are talking about. Born and lived there for 23 yrs (I have moved away). It was awesome to be able to, go north 5 or 6 hours and get into the big trees, or go east and visit Reno or Las Vegas or the siera's. Go west and see Frisco and Santa Barbera, or head south and see....well...I never thought there was much of anything down southern Ca.:D. I miss that aspect of the Sac. area, being able to visit so many different locales.

[heritagemom]

I will not continue with the thread after today. I have actually connected with 11 families who are living under similar circumstances to mine. Eleven families who lost one or both jobs . . . now listen carefully . . . because of the government takeover of the auto industry, banks, slow down in the real estate market or they had to close a business related to those industries. We all agree this NEW trend is a result of the current administration's policies. Never before has the rug been pulled out from so many people so quickly. Oh, I know, you are going to start quoting statistics from prior administrations, the depression blah, blah--sorry, not the same. You can talk all you want about it not being a new trend, it was a choice, it was Bush's fault, etc. etc., we know differently and if it should happen to you, call us. We plan to help each other find work, housing and share resources to move beyond this. This is all I asked for--understanding and a little help. Thanks to many of you--to the rest, take your intellectualizing and partisan mean-spiritedness elsewhere.

[mysticbeauty_nbeast]

Actually, a lot of the men that LEFT and built the Alaska pipeline did so because they felt they had no other opptions either. It's a fairly similair situation. So again it's not a new trend. That is the whole point I've been making. When times are tough this happens, it's part of life., but it is definately not a new trend.

That specific era did see men go off to work on Hoover Damn, or the Alaska pipe line. Work was limited...and so many men went off to work on large projects. What came with most of those men in the following months? Their families. Those little tent cities and shack houses for temporary living for those families become real cities over they years. The photographic journal of both area's is truly amazing. People adapt...people go where they can raise their families and feed themselves. The American spirit..a truly awe inspiring thing.

Fast forward to modern day and specifically the OP. We become diligent in our idea of how we are to live our lives. Meaning...we go to college..we find a mate...we get married...we buy a home...you could almost make a list of the 'expectations' of the American mind set...put little boxes next to each item..and check them off. When that check list gets altered..that's when issues such as the OP rise to the surface. The OP is by no means a new story...far from it. The OP is a modern day solution to a very old problem.

Whenever one can...keep the family together. It's the family and it's support that will get one through an issue. Working and separated may look good on paper...but does massive damage in area's that are unrepairable within your familys personal life. 4 months and I was crying uncle...6 months and I was in sunny Glendale Az. lol. Been on both sides of that coin...hard to say the very least.

Choices..responsibility...these are not ideals old and antiquated...these are/can be standards to live a life by. Make a good choice and hope for the best outcome. Making a good choice at the time does not ensure a smooth sailing down the road. Responsibility..it would seem this is a word that has as much use in today's modern society as fairy tales do. Slowly, responsibility will resurface and reclaim it former glory within our society and it's mindset. Until then...then pinching of growing pains will continue.

~Mysty

[angelicmadrigal]

The OP is by no means a new story...far from it. The OP is a modern day solution to a very old problem.


That's what I'm trying to point out, however the OP seems to think she's discovered something new, and I'm simply pointing out it's got historical precedant.

[Vic Daring]

I will not continue with the thread after today. I have actually connected with 11 families who are living under similar circumstances to mine. Eleven families who lost one or both jobs . . . now listen carefully . . . because of the government takeover of the auto industry, banks, slow down in the real estate market or they had to close a business related to those industries. We all agree this NEW trend is a result of the current administration's policies. Never before has the rug been pulled out from so many people so quickly. Oh, I know, you are going to start quoting statistics from prior administrations, the depression blah, blah--sorry, not the same. You can talk all you want about it not being a new trend, it was a choice, it was Bush's fault, etc. etc., we know differently and if it should happen to you, call us. We plan to help each other find work, housing and share resources to move beyond this. This is all I asked for--understanding and a little help. Thanks to many of you--to the rest, take your intellectualizing and partisan mean-spiritedness elsewhere.

I'm curious. How exactly did you want people to respond?

You seem to have had some "correct answer" in mind.