Toilet Cleaning Instructions:

[Fire Watch]

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

[sisyphus]

One for you:

A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, and then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat.

He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down. Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her.

"Could I please sit in that seat?" he asked.

The lady was insulted; "You Americans are so rude," she said. "Can't you see my dog is sitting there?"

He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat.
He found himself back at the same place.

"Lady, I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down."

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude, you are arrogant."

He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said,
"Lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time; could I please sit there and hold your dog?"

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious."
With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down. The lady was speechless.

An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. "Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."

[psyko kat]

One for you:

A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, and then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat.

He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down. Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her.

"Could I please sit in that seat?" he asked.

The lady was insulted; "You Americans are so rude," she said. "Can't you see my dog is sitting there?"

He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat.
He found himself back at the same place.

"Lady, I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down."

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude, you are arrogant."

He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said,
"Lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time; could I please sit there and hold your dog?"

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious."
With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down. The lady was speechless.

An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. "Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."

,had to highlight to read, but is very funny, lol.

[psyko kat]

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog


HISS, not funny..
HISS, not funny.

[johnrocks]

One for you:

A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, and then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat.

He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down. Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her.

"Could I please sit in that seat?" he asked.

The lady was insulted; "You Americans are so rude," she said. "Can't you see my dog is sitting there?"

He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat.
He found himself back at the same place.

"Lady, I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down."

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude, you are arrogant."

He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said,
"Lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time; could I please sit there and hold your dog?"

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious."
With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down. The lady was speechless.

An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. "Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."

:))

[CID_0687]

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog
:))

[Arya]

My catz R not amused by this.....

:snooty:

:razz:

[Army Wife]

Finally they have found a use for a cat... :))

[ThinkingMan]

Do you tie the cats legs together? I heard this helps get "under the rim."

[blazer]

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog
:))

[Dragon1963]

HISS, not funny..
HISS, not funny.

Might I suggest a pair of Chihuahuas instead.

[Panhead0422]

My catz R not amused by this.....

:snooty:

:razz:


My dogs are all ROFL.

[Arya]

Oh, U R all mean for thinking such vicious thoughts about doing such nefarious things to cats.

(just don't tell my cats that I've been chuckling silently to them all....my legs would be forfeit if they knew :) )

[Army Wife]

Do you tie the cats legs together? I heard this helps get "under the rim."

You can but you need to tie only 2 legs together be they front to front, back to back, or front to back on the same side. That way when the cat tries to use his legs to brace him/herself from the swirling water the feet will fit right under the rim and remember if under the rim is exceptionally crusty the claws being extended will chip all those clumps right off. Though I have to admit I have found the cleaning examples of the front to back on one side leaves something to be desires, it just doesn't seem to clean as well.

[outfromunder]

Waiting for someone post a pic to LOLCatz this story...

[clearcarbon]

Might I suggest a pair of Chihuahuas instead.

There are several suitable
substitute agitators available.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v416/clearcarbon/troll/hugo/toilet_troll180a.gif