Some Military humor for you.

[F9thRet]

Please note, In RL I have the utmost respect for every branch of Service. Figured we could have a fun thread though with this.

MILITARY LANGUAGE CONVERSION CHART



NAVY / USMC
ARMY
AIR FORCE

Head
Latrine
Powder Room

Rack
Bunk
Single with ruffle and duvet

Mess Deck / Chow Hall
Mess Hall / Mess Tent
Dining Facility or 'The Cafe'

"Cookie", stew burner
Spoon/Cook
Contract Chef

Coffee / Mud
Cup of Joe
Vanilla Skim Latte'

Bug Juice
Kool-Aid
Shirley Temple

Utilities / Digitals
BDUs / ACUs
Casual Wear

Seaman / Private
Private
Bobby / Jimmy

Chief / Gunny
Sergeant
Bob / Jim

Captain / Skipper
Colonel/Sir/Ma'am
Robert / James

Captain's Mast
Article 15
Time Out

Berthing / Barracks
Open-bay Barracks
Apartment

Skivvies / U-Trau
Underwear
Panties

Brig
Confinement
Grounded

Zoom Bag
Flight Suit
Business Casual

Cover / Head Gear
Beret/Lid
Optional

Ship's Store / NEX
PX Trailer
AAFES Shopping Mall

TAD
TDY
Paid Vacation

Cruise / Afloat
Deploy
Huh?

Ground Grabbers
Athletic Shoes
Flip-Flops

Run
Sprint
Ride

Shipmate / Marine
Battle Buddy
Don't Ask, Don't Tell or Honey

6 weeks in the bush
1 year deployment
Back on Base for Happy Hour

Boon Dockers
Jump Boots
Birkenstocks

Low Quarters
Plastic Shoes
Patent Leather Pumps

SEAL
SF/Ranger
Librarian

Shore Patrol / MPs
MPs
SF

Ooh-Rah!
Hoo-ah!
Hip-Hip hurray!

MRE
MRE
Happy Meal

Salute
Salute
Wave

Obstacle Course
Confidence Course
Class 6 Parking Lot

Grinder / Drill Field
Parade Field
Lounger with umbrella

Ge-Dunk
Snack Bar
Chuck E. Cheese

PT Test
APFT
"No conversion available"

Dept. of the Navy
DoD
DoD Lite

Midshipman
Cadet
Debutant

Hard-Core
Strak
"Way Too Serious"

24/7
24/7
9 - 4

Swabbie
Grunt
Preppie

And for the respective ROTC cadets:
Weapons Training
Map Reading
Ultimate Frisbee

Stephen

[GoBucks]

so I am guessing, not a big AF fan?

[Claymore]

February 1976, Grafenwohr, W.Germany, Regimental Gunnery.

The commo guys ran a field phone from the TOC into the range latrine where we were shooting Night Table (8) *You Treadheads know what I mean*. Our squadron XO went to the crapper (a FREEZING 2-holer) and after a minute to let him get settled in to thetask of getting rid of some used C-rats, the field phone rings:

XO "Uh,, Latrine, Major ##### speaking."

Spec4 medic (who will remane nameless), "Yes, Sir. This is the TOC. Have you seen the Colonel?"

XO "He's not in here."

Medic "Are you sure, Sir?"

XO, "Yes, Just me and the icecicles on my butt."

Medic. "OK, Thanks, Sir. If you see him, can you tell him the Sergeant Major is looking for him?"

The phone gets hung up.
30 seconds later,,, Ring-Ring

XO "Latrine, Major ##### speaking."

CSM, "Sir, this is CSM &&&&&, Is the Ol'Man in there?"

XO "No, Sar'Major, The CO ain't in here."

CSM. "OK, Sir. If you see him, tell'im I'm lookin' for him."

XO. "Will do, Sar'Major,"

The phone gets hung up.
30 seconds later,,, Ring-Ring!

XO. "Latrine! Major #####. Who the HELL are you?"

CO. " Bob?, Colonel @@@@@ here. Any calls for me?"

XO " (ABSOLUTELY UNPRINTABLE)"

[Claymore]

bump

[mryukon]

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

[F9thRet]

so I am guessing, not a big AF fan?

First sentence of this thread.

Please note, In RL I have the utmost respect for every branch of Service. Figured we could have a fun thread though with this.
-------------
Just wanted to make it clear, I have no problem with the AF
I almost joined the AF myself, but opted for the Marine Corp instead. But it was close.

Stephen

[Claymore]

Army definition:

NCO Academy- The establishment where one is taught diplomatically to say things like;

"No, Lt. Jones, the Roach Coach does not follow us on the FTX."

"Lt. Jones, PLEASE stop playing with the grenade."

"Lt. Jones, the radio handset works better if you Push and Hold while you are talking."

"Lt. Jones, This SITREP would make more sense if you used TODAYS CEOI instead one of last week's pages."

"Lt. Jones, STOP playing with that grenade!"

"No, Lt. Jones, tracers are NOT pretty."

"That coordinates is incorrect, Lt. Jones. According to your calculations, we're in downtown Bayrueth. Just how far is that away from Hohenfels?
You might want to refigure and use the right map sheet."

"Yes, Lt. Jones, there is a reason I carry live rounds in my .45 and you do not. No, Lt.Jones, I do not have time to tell you all of them and NO, Lt. Jones, you are not getting your grenade back."

[ALBOB2]

That list is the biggest load of crap I've ever seen in my life. Who in their right mind would EVER put vanilla in a latte? :evil:

[Claymore]

that list is the biggest load of crap i've ever seen in my life. Who in their right mind would ever put vanilla in a latte? :evil:

Airlift Command

[ALBOB2]

Airlift Command

Those bastards give the rest of us a bad name. :evil:

[Claymore]

Those bastards give the rest of us a bad name. :evil:


Yeah, but if you don't get your pizza hot'n'fresh in 30 minutes, it's free.:)

[breezyjr]

HEY! But kinda sorta maybe as an AF wife I might take a little bit of offense to that.

But it is still funny as hell!

[Claymore]

HEY! But kinda sorta maybe as an AF wife I might take a little bit of offense to that.

But it is still funny as hell!


What,,, did your pizza get to you late and cold?

:)