Sleepovers

[SaintVegas]

PLEASE VOTE and comment, if you please. :)

How do you feel about sleepovers? If you have children, do you (or have you) allowed them to sleep over at another person's house?

Perhaps I am too paranoid, but I do not want my children to have sleepovers at our house or at anyone else's house, even trusted families.

There are too many horror stories out there of children doing terrible things after parents have gone to bed, or, worse, having horrible things done to them by the parents at the other homes.

What are your thoughts? Would you (do you) allow it? Are there restrictions? What do you say to your children if you do not allow sleepovers and they want to know why?

[MrShotShot]

I don't have a problem with them. I trust my children.

[SaintVegas]

I don't have a problem with them. I trust my children.

I trust my children as well, and they are still to young to have sleepovers (in my opinion because they are 5 and 7), but it isn't a matter of me trusting them. I have a problem trusting the parents of the other children in whose home they would sleep.

[SaintVegas]

I would allow them to sleep at their grandparents' home, however.

[Mimiheart]

It depends on the age. I was sleeping over and had sleepovers all the time when I was 7+. Never a problem. My kids sleep over at their grandparents' and aunt's houses.

[StoneScratcher]

Never having brothers, I learned what my friend's brother had that made him a boy through a sleepover. He stood there, with the door open, in front of the toilet and peed. He was one year older than my friend and I were. I felt bad for him, thinking he was abnormal, lol, poor kid, having to stand like that.

Sleepovers today? I'd worry more about the siblings and the divorced dad who still has a grudge over not getting the house or something when it comes to safety or who has the keys, stuff like that.

Different, of course, if you KNOW the family and are close enough to let your kids sleepover.

I did say this, didn't I? Different, of course, if you KNOW the family and are close enough to let your kids sleepover.

[RTchoke]

I have allowed both but I only started doing so this year.

Mimi is right. It depends on the age. I had a hard time with it, but I know at some point you have to let go. Doesn't make it easier.

[brouski]

After a certain age, there is such thing as sheltering and overprotecting a child to their detriment.

[Samm]

Sleepovers are a part of being a kid growing up. My kids (two girls) went on and hosted many sleepovers, but they were never allowed to go to a house that we had not visited and we insisted the parents of any of their guests meet with us as well.

No anonymous sleepovers is a good policy for adults too...

SaintVegas... Every good parent wants their kids to be absolutely safe 100% of the time. However, that is not realistic. You will stifle your children and risk their rebellion if you attempt to protect them by eliminating any possibility conjured up in your mind that they will be harmed if they are out of your sight. Teach your kids well and trust them... it will be rewarded in spades.

[sircharliebrown]

My daughter is almost 16. At this point, she does sleepovers at friends' houses and I don't "completely" know the family. I do always make contact with the parents, meet them, confirm the plans, etc. At some point you have to let your child have more freedom. This is kind of what I am dealing with now - letting her go/letting her make more of her decisions. You have to let them go someday and they have to be given the opportunity to make some of their own decisions before they are completely on their own. You just have to hope that you have raised them well and they will make the right decisions and should they make a wrong decision, they call. I've always taught my daughter that - no matter what you have done, call if you are ever in trouble.

[chip]

PLEASE VOTE and comment, if you please. :)

How do you feel about sleepovers? If you have children, do you (or have you) allowed them to sleep over at another person's house?

Perhaps I am too paranoid, but I do not want my children to have sleepovers at our house or at anyone else's house, even trusted families.

There are too many horror stories out there of children doing terrible things after parents have gone to bed, or, worse, having horrible things done to them by the parents at the other homes.

What are your thoughts? Would you (do you) allow it? Are there restrictions? What do you say to your children if you do not allow sleepovers and they want to know why?

Boy you are gonna have fun when they start driving.

[Floydian]

PLEASE VOTE and comment, if you please. :)

How do you feel about sleepovers? If you have children, do you (or have you) allowed them to sleep over at another person's house?

Perhaps I am too paranoid, but I do not want my children to have sleepovers at our house or at anyone else's house, even trusted families.

There are too many horror stories out there of children doing terrible things after parents have gone to bed, or, worse, having horrible things done to them by the parents at the other homes.

What are your thoughts? Would you (do you) allow it? Are there restrictions? What do you say to your children if you do not allow sleepovers and they want to know why?

You seem like a "helicopter" parent.

[LouC]

We allowed them, always with trepidation, with at the minimum having more than a cursory knowledge of the child our child was going to be with, preferably with getting to at least meet the friends parents and them get to meet us.

[LouC]

I answered yes always.

[JoJo626]

My son turned 10 in June. He's only slept over at a couple of friends' homes, and those times were not "slumber parties" with lots of boys. Once I even had to resort to letting him stay over at a girl friend's (female friend not "girlfriend") house due to a family emergency and nobody else I trusted could keep him overnight. At his age, he's not into girls, so I was not worried.

[sgdp]

My father never let my best friend spend the night at our house. We always had to go to hers. Reason?

He was afraid she might dream he molested her and have him arrested.

What the hell is up with that?

[Ninjacorpse]

I had some things happen in my childhood that I would not consider healthy. If my child was not over the age of 12 or going to someones house I really trusted I would not let them spend the night.

[snagswolf]

Never had a problem with them. Of course, my boys didn't start sleeping over until they were around 10. Which is old enough to know if anything wrong was going on.

[snagswolf]

My father never let my best friend spend the night at our house. We always had to go to hers. Reason?

He was afraid she might dream he molested her and have him arrested.

What the hell is up with that?
Yeah, that's pretty weird.

But it is something guys have to be aware of these days. When I was helping out with my kids' activities growing up, such as T-ball and bible school, I was always aware not to be alone with any of the girls. It's sad that circumstances have made it so you have to be aware of that, but someone making something up, or even reading a situation wrong, has the potential to mess up your life bigtime.

[NascarGirl2448]

I started having sleepovers when I was around 10, actually. Our neighborhood was a pretty close knit place also. Everyone knew everyone else and really, I don't think any parents actually worried about their kids sleeping over at someone else's house.

[Apatriot]

PLEASE VOTE and comment, if you please. :)

How do you feel about sleepovers? If you have children, do you (or have you) allowed them to sleep over at another person's house?

Perhaps I am too paranoid, but I do not want my children to have sleepovers at our house or at anyone else's house, even trusted families.

There are too many horror stories out there of children doing terrible things after parents have gone to bed, or, worse, having horrible things done to them by the parents at the other homes.

What are your thoughts? Would you (do you) allow it? Are there restrictions? What do you say to your children if you do not allow sleepovers and they want to know why?

We haven't done many, and only in case of people we know and trust fairly well.

[jeepers]

Have to know the parents, they have to know me. It was hard the first time. She called about every two hours because she wanted to talk about it.

Don't do it randomly in either direction. I'm not a helicopter parent, but I'm also not flip about it either. Doesn't just apply to sleepovers, it's all of the other activities that both of my kids do.

Is it safe?
Is it supervised?
Who is supervising?
Is it age appropriate?
Does it fit our values?

I've said yes and I've said no. Once with great fanfare of opposition from the child. Stood my ground. Turns out the thing wasn't the thing to do (as reported by her friends, later).

You know your kid, do you know your kid's friends? Their parents? Their siblings? Their tendencies to be strict? Too lenient? Whacky sibling?

You've received massive input if you interact with your child on a daily basis. You've heard the friend stories. Stories about their lives. Watched them interact in your home, etc.

Some of the bad stuff is predictable, even with 'nice' people. I can think of one of my child's 'friends' whose parents are much more lenient than I am. She's not high on my outside of the home sleepover list. Because I trust my OWN kid, I have no issue if a sleepover offer was made for her over here. I know what I'M not going to allow. I know that my kid isn't into being stupid. I'm also not one of those 'fun parents' in the sense that I'm more interested in being entertaining than treating kids like kids who need adult guidance.

As I always say "I'm fun but I'm not THAT fun". :lol:

My perfect sleepover situation is to meet parents that are 'like me'. Fun, but don't put up with BS. Kind, but not so much that they let their kids get away with stupidity. People who take supervision seriously, which means that your kid is included in this. People who can predict behavior and makes plans accordingly. (Like there are some things that I won't do with kids in a large group because I can't guarantee total supervision, that sort of thing. Or knowing what is just too tempting for a kid to not risk breaking major rules...)

I think that this sort of thing needs to be in moderation, with rational boundaries of frequency. But it should be allowed. If a parent has an issue with the parents of others, then hosting one yourself would be the thing to do.

I had parents who RARELY let me do this and it was to the level of being moronic. Not even with the closest of friends until I was well into my teens. I missed out on a level of social interaction that I'm still not happy about. I can see concern, but keeping a kid in a bubble means that they can end up being targets because of naivete.

It's a balancing act between safety and learning how to operate in the world.

[traditional_woman]

I have to KNOW AND trust them. I had some pretty strange things happen to me(as a teen) either by a parent or a male sibling. I grew up on Air Force bases, so if stuff like that can happen on AF bases it can happen anywhere. I'm quick to tell them no if i don't know the parents well. I'd rather them have their friends sleep over anyway.