See It Clearly
July 21st, 2009, 6:03 pm
Plenty of jobs on the horizon. Here are some of the new careers people should consider training for, now!
1. Community Activist; ACORN will be recruiting activists. Prepare Now: buy brownshirt, brass knuckles, practice making intimidating faces (OK to use your mirror while practicing).
2. Census Taker; again ACORN membership will be helpful in breaking into this very hip and up and coming career! Prepare now: Try taking public transit anywhere, anytime. Count all the people in the bus/ subway car/and those who seem to be just enjoying the weekday between 9 AM and 5 PM. Then subtract anyone who is from a background too privileged to understand the plight of the poor. Take the remainder and multiply by two. Don't sweat the math, free calculators will be provided!
3. Neighborhood Watchperson; this exciting new career path will be open to anybody who is a member of ACORN or other approved community-first groups. Be a people person. Go out and meet your neighbors, get to know their thoughts fears and even their secret prejudices. (You can have a powerful impact on someone's life by helping him recognize his sublimated racism!) The truth will send him free! And you can help him get the truth he needs at one of the nearby Community Farms.
4. Political Guiding is a challenging but uplifting profession. You, can help run a Community Farm! You can teach Green values to those who, for whatever reason, have been deluded by discredited so-called experts. Imagine being a part of the team that converts sullen antisocial and self-centered "individualistic" failures, and watch them grow into sharing caring good neighbors with a green thumb!
5. Memory Guardians; This will require post graduate training in deconstructive analysis. The successful applicant will remove erroneous web-sites, be ever vigilant for media content that may not have sharing and caring values. There will also be a role for some of you more physical types, as this job may require kicking in doors to search for misguided books or other illegal non digitalized materials.
Thanks Atlas Shrugs
1. Community Activist; ACORN will be recruiting activists. Prepare Now: buy brownshirt, brass knuckles, practice making intimidating faces (OK to use your mirror while practicing).
2. Census Taker; again ACORN membership will be helpful in breaking into this very hip and up and coming career! Prepare now: Try taking public transit anywhere, anytime. Count all the people in the bus/ subway car/and those who seem to be just enjoying the weekday between 9 AM and 5 PM. Then subtract anyone who is from a background too privileged to understand the plight of the poor. Take the remainder and multiply by two. Don't sweat the math, free calculators will be provided!
3. Neighborhood Watchperson; this exciting new career path will be open to anybody who is a member of ACORN or other approved community-first groups. Be a people person. Go out and meet your neighbors, get to know their thoughts fears and even their secret prejudices. (You can have a powerful impact on someone's life by helping him recognize his sublimated racism!) The truth will send him free! And you can help him get the truth he needs at one of the nearby Community Farms.
4. Political Guiding is a challenging but uplifting profession. You, can help run a Community Farm! You can teach Green values to those who, for whatever reason, have been deluded by discredited so-called experts. Imagine being a part of the team that converts sullen antisocial and self-centered "individualistic" failures, and watch them grow into sharing caring good neighbors with a green thumb!
5. Memory Guardians; This will require post graduate training in deconstructive analysis. The successful applicant will remove erroneous web-sites, be ever vigilant for media content that may not have sharing and caring values. There will also be a role for some of you more physical types, as this job may require kicking in doors to search for misguided books or other illegal non digitalized materials.
Thanks Atlas Shrugs