What makes SPOUSES CHEAT??...A Discussion and Rant on a subject in the News....

[roger teekell]

I will admit that I have experienced this in my own life..

It hurts..

You want to roll over and die when it first comes to light..

You do get over it for the most part but you may never be the same again..

In my experience I was working nights and she was working days so we would not have to put our new baby in Daycare..She spent a lot of time with our next door neighbor and my golfing buddy..I saw signs but dismissed them because at one time her and I had a very unique kind of relationship...The kind romance novels are written about..

So in our case I think it was a HUGE lack of communication and loneliness which got out of control....It really sucked...But that was ~10 years ago..I like to think I learned a valuable lesson.

So the old addage "Communication is Key" certainly has proven it's validity.

Always TALK to your spouse...Don't let things get "Boring" and always remember WHY you fell in live with them in the first place.

Anyone else feel like sharing a story??

[Pauper66]

Your story sounds a lot like my story. Just change neighbor to roommate and golfing buddy to football team.

[ThrowCop]

:))

[gwhughes]

I've seen it happen a lot, but never experienced it when it mattered. I had one cheat, but her cheating gave me an easy out, which I gladly took. Sorry for you folks who've had it done to you, I couldn't imagine how I'd react in your shoes.



LOL pauper....

[PredFan]

Why do spouces cheat? Probably there are as many reasons as stars in the heavens. I have been married three times. In none of those times did I or my spouse cheat. Even though things got pretty bad toward the end of my first two marriages. How do I know this? it would take too long to explain but I know.

I personally would never cheat. I never did even at the end of my second marriage when we were staying together for the kids sake. Of course any woman good looking enough to tempt me, wouldn't have anything to do with me. ;)

Of all the reasons, I believe the #1 reason is low self-esteem. Finding someone who will love you again is a booster to the ego especially when your marriage is sour.

[sgdp]

We're primal animals no matter how much we try to delude ourselves into thinking we're above instincts.

IMHO, it's a survival/reproduction mechanism. Breed with as many people as you can.

[roger teekell]

We're primal animals no matter how much we try to delude ourselves into thinking we're above instincts.

IMHO, it's a survival/reproduction mechanism. Breed with as many people as you can.

I totaly disagree..

As I know several people that have been together over 20 years and never cheated..

So that's not it..

I think that SOME people know how to keep the fire burning..

But each situation is different..

I just thought that sharing our stories here might help some people that are at a crossroads..

Maybe not...But that was my thinking.

[sgdp]

I totaly disagree..

As I know several people that have been together over 20 years and never cheated..

So that's not it..

I think that SOME people know how to keep the fire burning..

But each situation is different..

I just thought that sharing our stories here might help some people that are at a crossroads..

Maybe not...But that was my thinking.

I've never had a S/O. I can only tell stories based on the observations it.

I'm not saying it's true for all. Just relaying why some may do so.

[super cool ski instructor]

We're primal animals no matter how much we try to delude ourselves into thinking we're above instincts.

IMHO, it's a survival/reproduction mechanism. Breed with as many people as you can.

Oh that is such a cop-out.

One that is used by people who have no self control and are too damn passive aggressive to actually discuss problems with their spouse.

[Gaetano "Tommy" Lucchese]

Because you can't trust anyone. Ever.

[nortman]

Because you can't trust anyone. Ever.

Well, that's a real downer.

I disagree. You can trust people, you just have to be careful who you trust.

[sgdp]

Oh that is such a cop-out.

One that is used by people who have no self control and are too damn passive aggressive to actually discuss problems with their spouse.

Most animals are not monogamous. We're nothing but animals.

[breezyjr]

Because you can't trust anyone. Ever.

I completely agree with this statement. I live by it. And because I live by it, my husband and kids suffer because of it.

My first husband, the first/only person I ever trusted, cheated on me. Because of that I have never trusted another person. Ever.

In the back of my head I always have two questions: "what do they want?" or "what are they lying about"?

My kids, god luv em, learned at an early age don't ever lie to me. Ya just can't. I ask too many questions because I just don't believe what anyone is saying. Give too many answers, and I will catch you in a lie.

As to why people cheat? Stupid decisions, lack of control, a desire for more attention, or just flat out animalism.

Why ever people cheat it is wrong and it destroys lives for a long time.

[PredFan]

I'm sticking with low self-esteem.

[countmein]

Selfishness, plain and simple.

[Theranna]

Agreed, it is a selfish decision to cheat. I have a huge family because people can't help cheat. Funny how my parents never cheated. Forty-one years of marriage and two cheat scares, one of which my mother handled like a total champ, the other my sister and I annoyed the woman out of calling the house anymore, and they're still together. Cheating is easy and marriage is work.

[blazer]

I feel like some people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence!

[nortman]

I feel like some people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence!I'm sure that's part of it. Selfishness, immaturity, lack of respect, lack of a "moral compass", ignoring said "moral compass"..............