If....you live in -fill in state here-

[Gaby77]

State twist on the redneck jokes. We've all had these forwarded to us at one time or another, or we can all at the very least come up with a few ourselves.

I'll start with my own state:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.

If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah.

[Claymore]

If the four official seasons in your state are Bow, BlackPowder, Football, & Basketball ,,,
You live in Oklahoma.

[texan_rep]

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas;

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live in Texas;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas.

[melinda]

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas;

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live in Texas;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas.



:hug: :hug: :hug:

I find 70 degrees "a little chilly". :)

[Kataleah]

If the four official seasons in your state are Bow, BlackPowder, Football, & Basketball ,,,
You live in Oklahoma.

:lol: Go Sooners! :D

[Kataleah]

If the four official seasons in your state are Bow, BlackPowder, Football, & Basketball ,,,
You live in Oklahoma.


You know you're from Oklahoma if:

It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

People actually grow and eat okra.

'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.

Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game.

Fix-in-to is one word. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.

[super cool ski instructor]

Not necessarily a state thing...but I got this once in email and loved it!

Subject: Visiting Detroit

~For those planning to visit Detroit... You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music Hoe Down.

~Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

~The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am.

~The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm.

~Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

~Weekends are open game.

~If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

~If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

~Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

~Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75 and I-275 is a way of life. Just deal with it.

~If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."

~All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

~The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

~The attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. "DO NOT get out of your car."

~Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says Keep honking, I'm reloading."

~If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit.' I would suggest you duck.

~I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

~It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge."

~That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

~If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.

~The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.

[Gaby77]

Brilliant, folks! :))

[JimGP20]

1. If the fastest part of your commute is down your driveway, you live in California.

2. If you were born somewhere else, you live in California.

3. If you know how to eat an artichoke, you live in California.

4. If left is right and right is wrong, you live in California.

5. If your monthly house payments exceed your annual income, you live in California.

6. If you can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it, you live in California.

7. If you go to a tanning salon before going to the beach, you live in California.

8. If rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news, you live in California.

9. If you consult your horoscope before planning your day, you live in California.

10. If a glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery, you live in California.

[super cool ski instructor]

If you know how to pronounce Euchre, and know how to play it, you must be from Michigan.

[JimGP20]

If you know how to pronounce Euchre, and know how to play it, you must be from Michigan.


Or Indiana.... I used to play it all the time when I lived there. Kanasta too. :D

[super cool ski instructor]

And the ever popular:

If you show where you live by pointing to your hand...you could only be from Michigan.

[texan_rep]

If you know how to pronounce Euchre, and know how to play it, you must be from Michigan.

Or were in the Air Force...:razz:

[Dreamy]

:))

You know you are in Mass if....

There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house and that is how you give directions

[Army Wife]

You know you are in Kentucky if your local Dairy Queen accepts a $200 bill and give change for said bill.

[Dreamy]

You know you are in Kentucky if your local Dairy Queen accepts a $200 bill and give change for said bill.

:))

[Dreamy]

You know you are from Mass. if...

You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV

[super cool ski instructor]

You know you are from Mass. if...

You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV

Go pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd :))

[Dreamy]

Go pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd :))

OMG! I have been talking to a friend from Kentucky and he does that to me. But I got his accent down too.

Show enuff!! :))

[Dreamy]

You know you’re from Massachusetts if:

You know what a pocketbook is
You call them what they really are “sneakers” (not “tennies”)
You think if someone is nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:b7Gvw5VPFBpCJM:massroads.com/images/mbta_orange_line_wellington_outbound_20020825.jpgT he public transportation system is known as the "T" and you'd rather drive in bumper to bumper traffic for 4 hours to get to Boston than be caught dead on the "Orange Line"
You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house
There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house and that is how you give directions
If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names
53 degrees is "on the warm side"
http://www.grotech.com/uploads/logos/brigham.jpgYou've walked to Brigham's for an ice cream cone "to go" in the snow
You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV
You call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies"
A water fountain is called a bubbler. Say it "bubbla".
You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes
You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Eastham, Chatham, Haverhill, Peabody, Scituate, and Leominster
You know what they sell at a "packie"
You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round
Paranoia sets in when you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS
You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:HWcMHt98fPWx0M:http://imageserver0.textamerica.com/user.images.x/12/IMG_413112/_1214/T40412141344220.jpgYou've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop
You know what a "regular coffee" is!
You can navigate a rotary without a problem
You use the words "wicked" "****a" and "good" in the same sentence
You know what a frappe is
Saint Patrick's Day is your second favorite holiday
You drink tonic and would never consider using it on your hair
You never say "Cape Cod" you say "The Cape"
You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation at least once, in elementary school, but never to Bunka Hill
You know the Mass Pike and 495 create some sort of strange weather dividing line

:)) I love these!

[super cool ski instructor]

OMG! I have been talking to a friend from Kentucky and he does that to me. But I got his accent down too.

Show enuff!! :))

:))

Seriously...I have always wanted an accent....we don't have one here in the Lower Penninsula.....we sound like all of the people on tv....very non descript. At least in the Upper Penninsula they sound like Minnesotans or Canadians :))

[Dreamy]

:))

Seriously...I have always wanted an accent....we don't have one here in the Lower Penninsula.....we sound like all of the people on tv....very non descript. At least in the Upper Penninsula they sound like Minnesotans or Canadians :))


I love accents too. Anyone who sounds like Elvis makes me swoon. lol

[Mustang JEB]

You might be from JEB's Glorious State of Louisiana if:

The crawdad mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass

You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee."

When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."

You've ever had Community Coffee.

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. (also, Thibideaux, Opelousas, Ponchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya)

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen!)

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You know the definition of "dressed."

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.

The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake.

You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax you something."

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

You don't realize until high school what a "county" is.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors).

You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people would refer to as a windbreaker) and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

You describe a color as "K&B Purple."

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins."

A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French Fries that fell under the seat.

You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.

You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.


You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.

[JimGP20]

I love accents too. Anyone who sounds like Elvis makes me swoon. lol



Heh heh..... thank you very much. :cool:

[Gaby77]

Ladies.... accents are overrated.

[super cool ski instructor]

I love accents too. Anyone who sounds like Elvis makes me swoon. lol

Sigh...I agree...

[melinda]

JEB ... I love those from LA. :))

[melinda]

Ladies.... accents are overrated.

por que?

[Dreamy]

Heh heh..... thank you very much. :cool:

:)) :hug: T-Bird!

[Gaby77]

por que?

:mrgreen:

[texan_rep]

You might be from JEB's Glorious State of Louisiana if:

The crawdad mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass

You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee."

When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."

You've ever had Community Coffee.

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. (also, Thibideaux, Opelousas, Ponchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya)

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen!)

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You know the definition of "dressed."

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.

The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake.

You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax you something."

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

You don't realize until high school what a "county" is.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors).

You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people would refer to as a windbreaker) and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

You describe a color as "K&B Purple."

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins."

A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French Fries that fell under the seat.

You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.

You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.


You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.

My mom's family is from New Iberia...so yes, I can pronounce all those towns (I believe you misspelled Thibodaux)...and I've had Community coffee...I know what nutria are (but we have them in Texas too)...

[Mustang JEB]

My mom's family is from New Iberia...so yes, I can pronounce all those towns (I believe you misspelled Thibodaux)...and I've had Community coffee...I know what nutria are (but we have them in Texas too)...


I cut and pasted that..

[bayoubill]

You might be from JEB's Glorious State of Louisiana if:

The crawdad mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass

You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee."

When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."

You've ever had Community Coffee.

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. (also, Thibideaux, Opelousas, Ponchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya)

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen!)

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You know the definition of "dressed."

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.

The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake.

You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax you something."

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

You don't realize until high school what a "county" is.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors).

You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people would refer to as a windbreaker) and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

You describe a color as "K&B Purple."

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins."

A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French Fries that fell under the seat.

You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.

You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.


You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.


:clap:


nice job, Jeb...

[bayoubill]

My mom's family is from New Iberia...so yes, I can pronounce all those towns (I believe you misspelled Thibodaux)...and I've had Community coffee...I know what nutria are (but we have them in Texas too)...


What are some of the names in your mom's family, Tex?


I've got cousins in New Iberia named Patout and Schwing, among others.

[Army Wife]

:))

It's true they even have the article from the paper where they wrote the whole thing up hanging in the lobby of the DQ like it is something to be proud of... :rolleyes:

[khigh]

You know you're from Oklahoma if:

It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

People actually grow and eat okra.

'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.

Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game.

Fix-in-to is one word. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.

The tea has to have sugar in it!

Also, you might be from Oklahoma if:

You've seen a buffalo and it's not at the Zoo

You've hit a cow and got a ticket for it (Oklahoma is a free range state- no fences required)

White Water Rafting is going down the river in an inner tube with a beer inner tube floating next to you

You think the Wichita Mountains are really mountains

You think that Lake Texoma is a really big lake

Going to the beach means driving 8 hours to Houston to swim in the Gulf

You know "the city" means Oklahoma City

Tornadoes are a good event to film while sitting on your porch in your underwear with a beer in hand

You find artillery shells in your front yard and think nothing of it (might only be a Lawton/Ft. Sill thing)

You know that the "big city" is Dallas and it's an event to go there

You've been to a honky tonk

The only dance club you have is a country dance hall

You don't mind being in a room full of rattlesnakes during the Apache rattlesnake festival

You know that Rush Springs has the best watermelon

You know all your neighbors and can take whatever you want out of their house when they aren't home- as long as you return it with a beer

You haven't seen a "green" car (Smart Car)

You don't flinch when you see a horse tied up at the court house

You say "ya'll" for any group of people

Every carbonated drink is a Coke, even if it's Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew

[khigh]

Here's some more Oklahoma ones:

You know the difference between the city of Durant and the city of Doo-rant.

It doesn't seem peculiar if your spouse says "I'm going in to town for something" even though you live in town.

- You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, and Okemah.
- You can remember the last 12 times a state legislator seriously introduced a bill involving castration, and he didn't mean farm animals.
- You don't turn on the news until 20 minutes past the hour, because that's the only thing you care about anyway.
- You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.
- "Howdy" seems to be a normal way of greeting another adult, with no irony intended.
- You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.
- It bothers you not one iota to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.
- A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
- You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.


Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

You've ever been excused from school because "the cows got out."

You can recall hot summers by the year they happened easier than you can remember your mother's birthday.

You can drive 80 mph on a two-lane dirt road with one hand, but driving 45 mph on a four-lane expressway in a city scares you to death.

You use manure on your grass instead of Weed and Feed.

Going to WalMart is a daily thing and know the locations of the 15 closest ones. (I've even drivin' 4 hours to Amarillo to go to WalMart, buy a Coke and drive back- nothing else to do here).

[THE LIGHT]

You Know You’re In Arizona When ….

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.

You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees.

You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.

The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.

You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.

You can make sun tea instantly.

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

Sunscreen is sold year round and kept right at the checkout counter.

You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.

Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.

You can pronounce Saguaro, Tempe, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, and Cholla.

You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"

You can fry an egg on the hood of a car in the morning.

You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.

No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.

You see two trees fighting over a dog.

You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River

You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves

You hear people say "but it's a dry heat!"

You buy salsa by the gallon.

Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."

You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

Most homes have more firearms than people.

People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.

You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.

If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.

You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You take rain dances seriously.

You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember the name of the incumbent.:whistle:

When a rainy day puts you in a good mood.

When you drive two miles around a parking lot looking for a shady place - even in the dead of winter.

You feed your chickens ice cubes to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

You "hug" a cactus only once in your lifetime.


When you have to look up "mass transit" in the dictionary.

A hundred ten in the shade is sorta hot, but you don't have to shovel it off your driveway.

You wear a bola tie.

You take a stroll on Ho Hum Way.

The beer is chilled and filled with chili.

A haboob happens.

Petrified doesn't mean scared.

Standin' on the corner sounds good.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. :shifty:

You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

[blazer]

You know you are from Georgia.....


1. You can properly pronounce Chickamauga, DeKalb, Dahlonega, Smyrna, Buena Vista, Valdosta, Hahira, Houston Co., Milan, Okefenokee, and La Fayette.
P.S.. Atlanta = ADD-LANNA not AT-LANT-A.

2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of
shade.

5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at weddings and funerals.

7. You think everyone from a Yankee-state has an accent.

8. You measure distance in minutes.

9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

13. You know someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

14. Almost everyone you know is either Baptist or Methodist.

15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

16. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.

17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

18. Ironically, you only crave Chik-Fil-A and alcohol on Sundays..when neither are sold.

19. On one side of the road there's Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field.

20. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

21. "YALL is a word.

22. Fried chicken is a major part of your diet

23. Krispy Kreme dounuts are the only kind of dounuts you eat.

24. You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater.

25. When a single snowflake falls, the entire state shuts down, even if it doesn't stick. The radio and TV news will make snowstorm reports every 10 minutes and the grocery store will be completely sold out of bread, milk, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

26. People actually grow, eat and like okra!

27. You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.

28. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

29. Panama City Beach, Florida is a big deal.

30. You understand that at least once a year your car will turn yellow with pollen.

31. You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.

32. You say "tuna fish sandwich." (not tuna sandwich)

33. You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.

34. Braves=good. Yankees=bad. Mets=LOATH

35.You love sweet tea, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and all Southern comfort food...and Southern comfort

36. You don’t appreciate it, You preciate it.

37. Your last words might be, "Yall watch this."

38. Herschel Walker, Larry Munson, Sid Bream, Hank Aaron are legends

39. You say and know what "I bet your sittin in tall cotton right now" means

40. You use the heater in the mornin and AC in the afternoon during the "winter" season

41. You might have heard of people finding their lost boat in a lake that has dried up recently

42. You know that Hurricanes are those the really big storms that give us lots of rain and a lil wind while at the same times destroys Florida!

43. You know there is more than one type of Pecan

44. You know the general population in the state will be stocking up on ammo and guns due to the new President

45. You say "mash" instead of "push", for example...buttons

46. The Redneck Games in Dublin and Smileys Flee Market are kinda a big deal

47. Savannah is The place to go to in the state for St. Patty's Day

And finally...
This one is the absolute Gospel truth! I have said this so many
times!!


48. You are 100% Georgian if you have ever had this conversation:



"You wanna coke?"



"Yeah."


"What kind?"


"Dr Pepper

[texan_rep]

What are some of the names in your mom's family, Tex?


I've got cousins in New Iberia named Patout and Schwing, among others.

Loog and Landry (but that's hardly a surprise)...

[EnchantedFrog]

If you are served chili and salsa as a side dish at breakfast, you're probably in Texas.

If your chili has beans in it, you're probably NOT in Texas.

If you have driven I-20 for 12 hours straight and haven't crossed a state line, you're definately in Texas (but by then you should be pretty close to either New Mexico or Louisiana, depending on your direction of travel.

[Dreamy]

If you live in the best place to be a sports fan in this country you are likely in Massachusetts/New England

If you have some of the most diverse weather you are likely in New England.

If you have beautiful meadows,mountains,oceans and lakes you are likely in New England.

If you use only use 25 letters of the alphabet to speak then you are likely from Boston.

[FoxGranadaChuck]

If you are in a state where there are almost as many ways to fix barbeque as there are people, you are in Tennessee.

If you are in a state where Elvis Presley and Johnny Majors are highly revered, you are in Tennessee.

If you drive through either Cocke or Hancock Counties, you are in Tennessee.

If you drive on I-40 or I-75 and it turns into an oversized parking lot on Saturday afternoons during the fall season, you are in Tennessee.

If you are in Dollywood, you are in Tennessee.

[dittoheadAZ]

If you're glad that your former governor left, because she was screwing up the state, but now you're even more nervous because she's got a big hand in screwing up the country... you must be from Arizona!

[dittoheadAZ]

Not necessarily a state thing...but I got this once in email and loved it!

Subject: Visiting Detroit

~For those planning to visit Detroit... You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music Hoe Down.

True!

~Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

And trying to spell the latter phonetically can get you banned. :)

~Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75 and I-275 is a way of life. Just deal with it.

STILL? The first three were under construction when I left in 1974! (275 may not have existed yet...)

~The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

Just like the 101 out here. I think most people believe that the highway sign is the speed limit.

~The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.
I thought you just went right, and then made a U-turn. But that could be only on the divided highways. (Haven't been out there since 1996, but I remember it when I was young.)

[dittoheadAZ]

If you know how to pronounce Euchre, and know how to play it, you must be from Michigan.

To 5 or to 10?

[dittoheadAZ]

:))

Seriously...I have always wanted an accent....we don't have one here in the Lower Penninsula.....we sound like all of the people on tv....very non descript. At least in the Upper Penninsula they sound like Minnesotans or Canadians :))

Yeah - I used to live near Detroit, and I don't have an accent at all. (Except when I'm talking in my long-time-acquired-from-watching-UK-telly-programmes British accent.)

When we moved out to AZ though, my sister developed an AZ "southwestern" sound...

[dittoheadAZ]

I love accents too. Anyone who sounds like Elvis makes me swoon. lol

Thankyouverymuch - uh-huh-HUH!

[Claymore]

If you know how to pronounce Euchre, and know how to play it, you must be from Michigan.

Or Adams County, IL.

[Claymore]

You know your from Oklahoma if breakfast starts with scrambled eggs, grits, salsa, biscuits and gravy before you get to your pancakes, sausage, biscuts and gravy.

[Claymore]

To 5 or to 10?
To 5. that's why you have a 2 & a 3 for counters.

[Claymore]

If your inheiritence from your grandfather consists of a BBQ recipe, a chili recipe, and season tickets for the Sooners, You live in Oklahoma

[PredFan]

You must be in Florida if:

English is your 2nd language.