Saying goodbye to our pets

[bbt630]

Last Thursday night I made the painful decision to end the life of Butch, my 17+ year-old cat. I didn't want to let the events of last week pass by without talking about them, so I just began writing, bit by bit over several days.

What I have posted here is an abbreviated version of a work in progress, as I continue to find words I want to say.

So how do you deal with or have you dealt with the loss of a close companion?

[bbt630]

Butch, my faithful and loyal friend....

It has been a few days now since you took your last breath in my arms. The moment you went away, a part of me went with you. For you were in fact a part of me. I only wish my words would not have failed me as they did in those final moments.

I will always cherish the years we had together, while also lamenting the years we spent apart.

You stuck with me even after I chose to give you up to mom, believing it was best for both of us. For that, I am thankful to you.

I gave up those last years of you sleeping next to me, waking me up in the morning, greeting me when I came home, stretching out in my arms as we dozed on the couch...

I have missed all of that, and regret not taking you with me. Our Sunday afternoons just were not enough time together.

No matter how much food was in your bowl, there you were at the sink with that distinctive 'feed me' meow, for no other apparent reason then to see me put some food in your bowl. I know you were playin' me, but I got a kick out of doing it, and you faithfully rewarded me with playtime.

As a young cat, you never really understood the capture-and-return concept of the game of Fetch. You seemed to be having all the laughs of chasing the flying pink teddy bear, then wait for me to come and throw it back the other way.You seemed amused by that, but I had just as much fun entertaining you as you did playin' me.

Then there were the grocery bags you loved to attack and hide in...sneaking under me in between pushups...your hilarious response to being blown at from across the room....and you never did overcome your fear of vacuum cleaners.

You were one amusing young cat. Yes, I do remember all that, and if cats have long-term memories I'm sure you remembered too.

As the years went on your daily life took on a more mature stature, foregoing the kittenish antics in favor of mellower forms of entertainment and increasingly frequent naps under the bed. All the playful pettings and scratches you received were rewarded by the squinted eyes, the playful rolling, the raised chins, the occasional nudges. But most of all it was that awesome purr of yours that we all loved...family, friends, and even new acquaintances.

Though the years had begun to take their toll on your body, we did everything we could to give you a healthy and happy life, and judging by the love and affection you gave us, I believe we succeeded. You were fat, healthy, and happy.

But something had changed. For reasons unknown to us, that Garfield-like appetite of yours suddenly went away.

When mom let me know on Tuesday night that you were in trouble, my heart sank with the realization that the end of our time together was likely approaching, and painful choices would need to be made.

Wednesday I stopped in to see for myself. The tears had already been building since that Tuesday night phone call, and yet I had hoped to bring you in for one visit to the vet. 'Just one shot at helping you,' I thought, and maybe this problem could be treated. But once I saw you, my heart broke knowing that would not be the case.

Decisions needed to be made. The last thing I wanted was for you to suffer, but how could we best avoid that?

I really was hoping you would go peacefully in your sleep, curled up in a chair at home, with that perma-grin expression on your face. But I could not promise you that your affliction would not bring pain.

We decided to wait one more day.

By Thursday you had lost nearly half of your body weight and your weakened condition prevented you from sufficient trips to the water bowl. I knew that once dehydration set in you would spiral down quickly, and likely painfully.

You slowly lifted your head and lightly swished your tail as I approached you, much like you had done so many times before, and greeted me with a faint meow. For the next few hours I held you and petted you as much as I could, fighting a losing fight to hold back the tears.

When you tried to get down from the chair, I carefully carried you over to the kitchen for one last attempt at the food routine. But this time you merely sniffed the food, took one light sip of water, and walked back towards the chair.

Our last playtime had occurred. I knew the painful decision had to be made.

It was time to let you go.

You are a part of me.

Those words from my voice were the last things I wanted you to hear, but my choked-up throat and flowing tears got in the way. I hope that you already knew, and that you understood just how much you meant to me.

The bond we had will never be replaced. Given my choice, I would have brought you with me for the entire course of my life. But cats don't have the same natural life span as humans, so that just was not possible.

One day I will realize that you, just like my beloved pets before you, have become little more than a great memory. It will take longer for you to fade than the others, since I have so much more time and great memories to carry with me. And I know where your ashes will be, so I'll be sure to say HI BUTCH every time I pass Sleepy Hollow.

I don't know what happened to you when the life left your body, whether you faded into nothing, or if you can possibly know what I am saying right now. But there are those who believe that when we die, the pets we loved and who loved us will be there waiting. If that's the case, I'm sure you'll come trotting up to me as that fun-loving cat, ready for a game of fetch.

Until then...

Goodbye Butch, my cat, my pet, and my friend.

I'm going to miss you buddy.

[Jalend Skyr]

That was absolutely amazing. God bless you and be with you in your time of grief.

[johnrocks]

Sorry to hear of your loss, it is like losing a member of the family.

[psyko kat]

:(( so sorry about yer kitty.:((

[notluzn]

we had to put our 23 year old cat down late last year and I miss her a ton. there is a poem called the Rainbow Bridge. makes me sad every time and I don't get sad or botherd much.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

[Samm]

I lost my dear old dog; my wonderful (perfect actually) old male cat, and my 98 year old mother all within about a year. Of the three, my mother's death was the easiest to deal with. I will never forget the trusting yet pleading look in the eyes of those two beautiful animals as they died in our arms. On the other hand, my mother was ready to die (and we were prepared as well) and was content and pleased to know with certainty that her time had come and that she had not outlived any of her children.

[stoked]

Awe, it's gonna make me pay more attention to my little 16 year old ***** cat. They are awesome little critters and so hard to let go.

[LouC]

I lost my dear old dog; my wonderful (perfect actually) old male cat, and my 98 year old mother all within about a year. Of the three, my mother's death was the easiest to deal with. I will never forget the trusting yet pleading look in the eyes of those two beautiful animals as they died in our arms. On the other hand, my mother was ready to die (and we were prepared as well) and was content and pleased to know with certainty that her time had come and that she had outlived all of her children.

Samm I know of what you speak.

I have never hurt for a passed family member as I have and still do for my dogs that I had to put down.

[Gabby]

I lost my dear old dog; my wonderful (perfect actually) old male cat, and my 98 year old mother all within about a year. Of the three, my mother's death was the easiest to deal with. I will never forget the trusting yet pleading look in the eyes of those two beautiful animals as they died in our arms. On the other hand, my mother was ready to die (and we were prepared as well) and was content and pleased to know with certainty that her time had come and that she had outlived all of her children.
How did your mother outlive all of her children, yet you are here posting?

[Spaceman Spiff]

A few years ago when we had our cat Boots (19) put to sleep my wife found this online support group very helpful:

http://www.petloss.com/

[Gabby]

I think that what makes it hard about pets is that they cannot express in words to us what they are going through when they are sick or dying. I had an ausie cattle dog who died in 2005 at the age of 13. He was riddled in cancer. We knew that he was not feeing well for a long time but the vet could not find anything. 3 weeks after his last physical cancer showed up through most of his organs. It seemed to have grown to fast.

On his last day... we knew that he was dying and in great pain but he did not complain at all. He was just looking around the house for a place to hide, then he'd get up and pace around... he was vomitting blood by then. We took him to the vet and he was put down. while his death was sad, I was glad that his pain was over.

[blazer]

What sweet, loving remembrances of these loving pets! May you be comforted in your losses! :hug:

[LouC]

Last Thursday night I made the painful decision to end the life of Butch, my 17+ year-old cat. I didn't want to let the events of last week pass by without talking about them, so I just began writing, bit by bit over several days.

What I have posted here is an abbreviated version of a work in progress, as I continue to find words I want to say.

So how do you deal with or have you dealt with the loss of a close companion?

bbt630 I know how it can be.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

17 years companionship is a commitment that is so much more than they were "just a pet".

I have always felt a kinship with people who feel this way about their pets, their companions.

I have also wondered about and felt pity for those who do not understand us.

The kindest yet most horrible thing I ever had to do in my life was bring my Princess to the living room from our bedside where she had been with my bawling wife when the Veterinarian came to the house to put her down.

The Vet and the assistant were familiar with Princess having treated her for more than ten years and they were crying almost as hard as I was when we all gathered around her for the last time.

Whoa here I go again...

Princess was our 12 year old German Shepherd.

[Broseph]

Will you meet me at the Fountain
When I reach the glory land
Will you meet me at the Fountain
Shall I clasp your friendly hand (paw)?
Other friends will give me welcome,
Other loving voices cheer,
There’ll be music at the Fountain,
Will you meet me there?

[GoBucks]

bbt630, I am so sorry for your loss, but that was a wonderful tribute to your cat. It made me all teary.

I understand the pain you are going through and hope it will not linger to long and leave you with only the good memories.

jen

[CMike11]

I am sorry about your cat. I have two cats of my own, George, a big black flurry number, and Fred, a smaller gray and white.

The problem with having pets, is that you get attached the, and when they go it's very painful.

[melinda]

Butch, my faithful and loyal friend....

It has been a few days now since you took your last breath in my arms. The moment you went away, a part of me went with you. For you were in fact a part of me. I only wish my words would not have failed me as they did in those final moments.

I will always cherish the years we had together, while also lamenting the years we spent apart.

You stuck with me even after I chose to give you up to mom, believing it was best for both of us. For that, I am thankful to you.

I gave up those last years of you sleeping next to me, waking me up in the morning, greeting me when I came home, stretching out in my arms as we dozed on the couch...

I have missed all of that, and regret not taking you with me. Our Sunday afternoons just were not enough time together.

No matter how much food was in your bowl, there you were at the sink with that distinctive 'feed me' meow, for no other apparent reason then to see me put some food in your bowl. I know you were playin' me, but I got a kick out of doing it, and you faithfully rewarded me with playtime.

As a young cat, you never really understood the capture-and-return concept of the game of Fetch. You seemed to be having all the laughs of chasing the flying pink teddy bear, then wait for me to come and throw it back the other way.You seemed amused by that, but I had just as much fun entertaining you as you did playin' me.

Then there were the grocery bags you loved to attack and hide in...sneaking under me in between pushups...your hilarious response to being blown at from across the room....and you never did overcome your fear of vacuum cleaners.

You were one amusing young cat. Yes, I do remember all that, and if cats have long-term memories I'm sure you remembered too.

As the years went on your daily life took on a more mature stature, foregoing the kittenish antics in favor of mellower forms of entertainment and increasingly frequent naps under the bed. All the playful pettings and scratches you received were rewarded by the squinted eyes, the playful rolling, the raised chins, the occasional nudges. But most of all it was that awesome purr of yours that we all loved...family, friends, and even new acquaintances.

Though the years had begun to take their toll on your body, we did everything we could to give you a healthy and happy life, and judging by the love and affection you gave us, I believe we succeeded. You were fat, healthy, and happy.

But something had changed. For reasons unknown to us, that Garfield-like appetite of yours suddenly went away.

When mom let me know on Tuesday night that you were in trouble, my heart sank with the realization that the end of our time together was likely approaching, and painful choices would need to be made.

Wednesday I stopped in to see for myself. The tears had already been building since that Tuesday night phone call, and yet I had hoped to bring you in for one visit to the vet. 'Just one shot at helping you,' I thought, and maybe this problem could be treated. But once I saw you, my heart broke knowing that would not be the case.

Decisions needed to be made. The last thing I wanted was for you to suffer, but how could we best avoid that?

I really was hoping you would go peacefully in your sleep, curled up in a chair at home, with that perma-grin expression on your face. But I could not promise you that your affliction would not bring pain.

We decided to wait one more day.

By Thursday you had lost nearly half of your body weight and your weakened condition prevented you from sufficient trips to the water bowl. I knew that once dehydration set in you would spiral down quickly, and likely painfully.

You slowly lifted your head and lightly swished your tail as I approached you, much like you had done so many times before, and greeted me with a faint meow. For the next few hours I held you and petted you as much as I could, fighting a losing fight to hold back the tears.

When you tried to get down from the chair, I carefully carried you over to the kitchen for one last attempt at the food routine. But this time you merely sniffed the food, took one light sip of water, and walked back towards the chair.

Our last playtime had occurred. I knew the painful decision had to be made.

It was time to let you go.

You are a part of me.

Those words from my voice were the last things I wanted you to hear, but my choked-up throat and flowing tears got in the way. I hope that you already knew, and that you understood just how much you meant to me.

The bond we had will never be replaced. Given my choice, I would have brought you with me for the entire course of my life. But cats don't have the same natural life span as humans, so that just was not possible.

One day I will realize that you, just like my beloved pets before you, have become little more than a great memory. It will take longer for you to fade than the others, since I have so much more time and great memories to carry with me. And I know where your ashes will be, so I'll be sure to say HI BUTCH every time I pass Sleepy Hollow.

I don't know what happened to you when the life left your body, whether you faded into nothing, or if you can possibly know what I am saying right now. But there are those who believe that when we die, the pets we loved and who loved us will be there waiting. If that's the case, I'm sure you'll come trotting up to me as that fun-loving cat, ready for a game of fetch.

Until then...

Goodbye Butch, my cat, my pet, and my friend.

I'm going to miss you buddy.

OK, I'm crying now ... my heart breaks for you, but you did have a wonderful seventeen years. I've never had to make that decision ... I don't know how I would deal with it.
I've had pets die over the years, but thankfully, the decision was never in our hands, but always God's.
As sad as this is, I loved reading it.
I loved seeing your relationship with Butch thru your eyes.
I hope you find peace. :hug:

[melinda]

we had to put our 23 year old cat down late last year and I miss her a ton. there is a poem called the Rainbow Bridge. makes me sad every time and I don't get sad or botherd much.

wow ... 23!!
my Tommy is 19, and I thought that was old.

:hug:

[JoJo626]

:hug: bbt630, I'm so sorry for your loss. You posted a very loving tribute to Butch.

[Livey]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a special kittie several years ago. I always referred to her as the kittie love of my life. I know it is painful. Your writing is touching and sweet, and it is obvious that Butch was well loved.

[Remus Lupin]

Very sorry to hear! I will say a prayer for you and your family.

[LouC]

How did your mother outlive all of her children, yet you are here posting?

I thought his meaning was she had lived long but still not so long that she had witnessed the death of any of her children.

[Samm]

How did your mother outlive all of her children, yet you are here posting?

Whoops... :redface:

[hatman]

bb,
That was an awesome tribute to Butch. You did him so well my friend.

I think of myself as a 'tough guy' (others say I'm a softie). but that moved me to tears. I think we love our pets so much because we see them as the ultimate 'innocents' their whole lives. I feel your pain, truly.

I'll leave you with a poem I saved that my Vet gave me on the passing of Buddy many years ago.

"Grieve not
Nor speak of me with tears
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you
I loved you so---
Twas Heaven here with you"

And I believe in the Rainbow Bridge.

[Ballygrl]

So how do you deal with or have you dealt with the loss of a close companion?

I've had dogs almost my whole life, but I haven't been able to have 1 since I lost my 2 dogs in Oct. 2004 and May 2005.

I had a beagle in 1998 whom I adopted in about 1992 from a shelter, they estimated that he was 1 or 2. He was a momma's boy and would run to me everytime my husband would want to play rough with him. We had talked about getting another dog for my husband. I took my dog whose name was Rush BTW and yes he was named after Rush Limbaugh because he was cute, adorable and a little overweight, well anyway we took him to get his nails cut and the vets office had listed a 5 week old lab mix who had been abandoned in a cart outside of a grocery store. We ended up adopting her. We had to wait a week to pick her up, and I remember when I went to pick her up, my husband had to work, and in the vets office I held her and told her that I would love her and feed her but she would be Daddy's dog since I already had my own dog. By that night I couldn't imagine my life without her, I was so in love with this beautiful 6 week old puppy. When my husband got home that night we were arguing over holding her because I didn't want to let her go, I don't ever remember feeling the love that I had for this dog with any of my other dogs, I loved them all, but this 1 was so special to me.

When she was 5 years old she developed a blood disorder, it was either that or bone marrow cancer, since we couldn't do a biopsy of her bone marrow because she was so sick, we decided to treat it as if she definitely had the blood disorder. I never saw my husband cry before, but he did when they told us how sick she was.

We spent thousands in medicine hoping it was the blood disorder, if it was it could be treated, if it was the bone marrow cancer it couldn't be. My husband loved her so much but he pulled away from her emotionally, I think he prepared himself for the inevitable, I couldn't do it though, and she and I got even closer. Even though she ended up getting so sick 2 1/2 months later, I still prayed for a miracle. I didn't want to put her down, I wanted her to be home with us when she passed. We were due to take her to the vet the next day but I prayed for God to take her while I was holding her. I stayed up with her holding her until about 3AM, I was so tired that I fell asleep, a couple of hours later, at 5:30AM I hear my husband say "it's over".

It's the most devastating thing I've ever felt. My Father passed away when I was 21 and I loved him very much, but I never felt the hurt and sadness that I did with this dog. I cried for months, and I still cry. She was only 5 years old and I never lost a dog that young, they always lived til old ages.

We thought about adopting a dog again, but the hurt is still there. I just don't want to hurt like that again. I feel bad though because there are so many dogs in shelters that need homes, but I'm just afraid. I still think about going to a pet grief counselor for a couple of sessions because the hurt is still there.

My dog Rush passed away 7 months after my other dog, his was easier to handle because he was old by this point and he had a great life. He was unable to walk a couple of months before he passed away, my husband said that we should talk about putting him down, and I said to him I can't, as long as he has an appetite he's not going anywhere. He couldn't walk but he sure as heck loved his food. It was hard because to take him out you had to carry him out to the yard, let him do his thing, then I'd take him in the basement to clean him up. We did this 2-3 times a day everyday. His spleen had been enlarged and the vet said it would burst and he would only have a short time after that. His spleen burst 1 night, by the next morning we knew, we took him to the vet and by this time he was comatose. I asked the vet if there was anything they could do at all for him or was this really the end, and if we didn't put him down how long would he last, she said a few hours, so we made the choice and we both held him in our arms.

Sorry this is so long, but the OP brought out so many feelings I've kept inside for so long.

[Ballygrl]

bbt, I didn't even get to tell you that I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope it can become acceptable to you at some point and you can think of all the happy memories and not just be sad.

[alexz2317]

Last summer I lost my cat Tonka. She was 17 years old. I'm only 21 years old so she has been apart of almost all my life. It was sad to see her last night alive. She couldn't pick her head up and kept on falling over. I had to go to work at midnight so I thought for sure that I had to bury her the next morning. But my father buried her, he spent the final moments with her. R.I.P. Tonka

[Wookinstien]

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj241/Wookinstien/showpic.jpg
I lost Quinn in 2006. She died of cancer. Quinn saved my life by getting help when I had my stroke. I still cry sometimes.

Then Katie came along...
http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj241/Wookinstien/DSCF0003.jpg
Everytime I get sad about Quinn, I hug Katie.

[bella-day]

bbt,
I'm so sorry for your lose. I wish there were words I could say that would ease your pain right now but as someone that has had to make this decision for a loved pet...I know that isn't possible.

You loved Butch like a family member and I have no doubt he looked to you as his Dad. As you illustrated in your memorial post you had many happy years with him.

May God touch your heart and remove the pain your presently feel by replacing it with happy memories and the knowledge that you did the best thing for Butch.

:hug:

[janer]

Ballygirl's story sounds like ours. One of our dogs, adopted when he was ten, never had a home, lived with us for three years. In the last months of his life, he started to lose mobility and had to be carried outside to "go", and carried upstairs to bed at night, and down in the morning. We were going to the vets 2-3 times a month for treatments, but there came a point where we knew it was the end, and my DH just broke down. In the past two years, he has lost his wonderful mom, an aunt and uncle and bore up - in his profession he deals with the critically ill, and death is no stranger - but this just hit him hard.
But the epilogue is that a month later, through an odd set of circumstances, we were put in touch with someone who was dealing with a critical illness in the family and who had to give up the dog they'd had since he was a pup. We took our other dog, and arranged a meeting, and everyone got along, so we gave the little guy a home. We never expected to get another dog so soon, and certainly he's not a "replacement", but he is a reminder that "pet people" are a breed apart.

[bbt630]

Thanx to everyone for their thoughts and participation in this thread.

I really wanted people to read this but was nervous about posting it, worried it might drop unnoticed.

Again, thanx everybody.:hug:

[curtis123]

Sorry for your loss.

I care for a lot of critters, and I see death very often with them, but some of them really latch on to your heart. There's some of them, that when the time comes, I'm going to be a mess. I sympathize with you.