prayers needed

[Hadassah]

My son's father called me today with news that he and his wife are getting a divorce, which I knew already from my son telling me last night. However, my son's father told me the reason why and when the reason comes out, it is going to rip my son's heart apart, even more than the divorce will.


Stepmom had an affair and the youngest baby is not my son's father's daughter, as he had thought all along. When my son finds out that this beautiful baby isn't his sister, he is going to be devastated.


I'm going to be affected too, because on top of dealing with a hurting son, I may have to even change my work schedule as dad will be moving out and child care arrangements will have to change. I need wisdom in this situation. And frankly, and I hate admitting this because it means I'm not Christ-like, I wanna bash stepmom's face in because of her selfishness.

[terri910]

Oh, Hadassah, I am so sorry for what other adults are going to put your son through....I will definitely be praying for your son and for you, too. :pray::pray::pray:



Oh...and as long as you just FEEL like bashing the stepmom, and don't actually do it, I wouldn't worry too much about whether you're being Christ-like. :hug:

[johnrocks]

This is terrible and I only wish the best for your Son, I know it will be traumatic however if a bond is there, a brother/sister relationship may still be possible if stepmom will allow it. Prayers to all concerned.

[Trinka]

God Bless You and Yours....May His peace be with each of you...I will ask for healing of all brokeness.....:pray:

[blazer]

Praying you and all involved! :hug:

[rhet 2]

My son's father called me today with news that he and his wife are getting a divorce, which I knew already from my son telling me last night. However, my son's father told me the reason why and when the reason comes out, it is going to rip my son's heart apart, even more than the divorce will.


Stepmom had an affair and the youngest baby is not my son's father's daughter, as he had thought all along. When my son finds out that this beautiful baby isn't his sister, he is going to be devastated.


I'm going to be affected too, because on top of dealing with a hurting son, I may have to even change my work schedule as dad will be moving out and child care arrangements will have to change. I need wisdom in this situation. And frankly, and I hate admitting this because it means I'm not Christ-like, I wanna bash stepmom's face in because of her selfishness.

Honestly, some people should never be allowed to walk around without somebody RESPONSIBLE able and willing to lock them down from time to time. And she's one of them. MEGA BARF

Christ-like? Did he or did he not rip hypocrit heads off and drive money-lenders from the Temple? Methinks He'd like to turn her over his own Lap and give her a dose of the discipline she surely never learned.

Praying for your wisdom and your endurance in the trials to come, dear one. YOU are responsible and disciplined and everything the SPOILED LITTLE BRAT is not. And the Squirt is so blessed to have you for a mom.

And, I'm praying for a sweet little girl who shouldn't be stuck living with a selfish little self-indulgent WASTED DEGENERATE when she needs a mom instead.

[jwil59]

I am praying about this

[Hadassah]

Thank you everyone.


I made a decision tonight and will be telling my son's father tomorrow. I will not allow this to affect my work, etc. I need to have things stable in my life so my focus can be on my son. He cannot have his father, stepmother, and me in an upheaval. I do not want my son ending up suicidal again.


I offered my ex a place to stay for the short term. He's worried that if he stayed here, stepmom would screw things up for my son as far as schooling is concerned. Would she really? Neither one of us thinks so, but hey, he didn't think she'd do what she did, either.

[bella-day]

Thank you everyone.


I made a decision tonight and will be telling my son's father tomorrow. I will not allow this to affect my work, etc. I need to have things stable in my life so my focus can be on my son. He cannot have his father, stepmother, and me in an upheaval. I do not want my son ending up suicidal again.


I offered my ex a place to stay for the short term. He's worried that if he stayed here, stepmom would screw things up for my son as far as schooling is concerned. Would she really? Neither one of us thinks so, but hey, he didn't think she'd do what she did, either.


Good decision. You son needs stability more than ever right now. You and the stability of your home will be his safe haven.

I pray that God grants your son peace and acceptance of the situation at hand and that he gives you the strength and ability to see your son through this time of turmoil in his life.

Having the affair is one thing...it's a hurtful thing without a doubt...but to carry on this charade by lying about the lineage of her baby is outrageous! So many lives will be affected by her lies. As hurt as your son and your ex will be...there are others...the grandparents for example.

I'm going to say a prayer for your son's father also. I have no doubt the man's heart and spirit are hanging on by a fine thread at the moment. I hope he will be able to heal from this wound and move on with his life.

What a generous person you are to offer him temporary shelter. Bless you for being such a generous lady.

Hang on hun, the ride is going to be bumpy for the next few weeks but I have faith the God above will carry you and your son through the darkness.

[rhet 2]

Good decision. You son needs stability more than ever right now. You and the stability of your home will be his safe haven.

I pray that God grants your son peace and acceptance of the situation at hand and that he gives you the strength and ability to see your son through this time of turmoil in his life.

Having the affair is one thing...it's a hurtful thing without a doubt...but to carry on this charade by lying about the lineage of her baby is outrageous! So many lives will be affected by her lies. As hurt as your son and your ex will be...there are others...the grandparents for example.

I'm going to say a prayer for your son's father also. I have no doubt the man's heart and spirit are hanging on by a fine thread at the moment. I hope he will be able to heal from this wound and move on with his life.

What a generous person you are to offer him temporary shelter. Bless you for being such a generous lady.

Hang on hun, the ride is going to be bumpy for the next few weeks but I have faith the God above will carry you and your son through the darkness.

Well said!

I join you in those prayers.

Our Hadassah and her son are the best of the best. Here's to an Easter Sunday that sees the beginnings of new hope and new stabilities and new lives for all those affected by such a sad thing.

[USMCmom]

Good decision. You son needs stability more than ever right now. You and the stability of your home will be his safe haven.

I pray that God grants your son peace and acceptance of the situation at hand and that he gives you the strength and ability to see your son through this time of turmoil in his life.

Having the affair is one thing...it's a hurtful thing without a doubt...but to carry on this charade by lying about the lineage of her baby is outrageous! So many lives will be affected by her lies. As hurt as your son and your ex will be...there are others...the grandparents for example.

I'm going to say a prayer for your son's father also. I have no doubt the man's heart and spirit are hanging on by a fine thread at the moment. I hope he will be able to heal from this wound and move on with his life.

What a generous person you are to offer him temporary shelter. Bless you for being such a generous lady.

Hang on hun, the ride is going to be bumpy for the next few weeks but I have faith the God above will carry you and your son through the darkness.

Amen...Bella! Hadassah you and your son will be in my prayers. :pray:
God Bless & Have a Happy Easter

[Seanachie]

Hello Hadassah,

You, your Son and his Dad were included in my Easter prayers today at the Falls.

I prayed that the Good Lord send you the Wisdom of Solomon in dealing with this situation. I also prayed that He send you the Grace and determination of Ester in her dealings with her King. I have no doubt that you will need all of these Graces to see you through this all with the resolve that protect You, your Son and yes, even your former spouse as well as the spouse that has caused all of this consternation.

Please be as well as you can be Lady through all of this with God's Blessings.

Jim

[Hadassah]

Honestly, some people should never be allowed to walk around without somebody RESPONSIBLE able and willing to lock them down from time to time. And she's one of them. MEGA BARF

Christ-like? Did he or did he not rip hypocrit heads off and drive money-lenders from the Temple? Methinks He'd like to turn her over his own Lap and give her a dose of the discipline she surely never learned.

Praying for your wisdom and your endurance in the trials to come, dear one. YOU are responsible and disciplined and everything the SPOILED LITTLE BRAT is not. And the Squirt is so blessed to have you for a mom.

And, I'm praying for a sweet little girl who shouldn't be stuck living with a selfish little self-indulgent WASTED DEGENERATE when she needs a mom instead.


I'm really trying to not judge her (her behavior, yes, I am judging, but I'm trying to not judge her). I just don't understand something. She's acting worse now. She's being very nasty, very selfish, ignoring her kids. You'd think that since she had to own up to her behavior, she'd not be acting like a total bitch that is trying to make everyone around her miserable.



If there's a good psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual explanation for this, I'd love to know it.

[rhet 2]

I'm really trying to not judge her (her behavior, yes, I am judging, but I'm trying to not judge her). I just don't understand something. She's acting worse now. She's being very nasty, very selfish, ignoring her kids. You'd think that since she had to own up to her behavior, she'd not be acting like a total bitch that is trying to make everyone around her miserable.



If there's a good psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual explanation for this, I'd love to know it.

It's a reaction to guilt, dearling.

She's got two choices right now: admit she screwed up, repent and ask forgiveness, promising to straighten out in the future, accepting the consequences of past sins.

Which would be humiliating.

So, instead of accepting responsibillity for the damage she's done, she gets mad at everybody else, blaming others for her own free choices and for not "understanding her." :wall:

And, yes, that's the best way I know to increase the damage instead of dealing with the mess and doing what she can to set it right.

You are wise to forgive her -- yet, until she admits guilt before the LORD, repentence and restoration to fellowship is impossible.

You have to admit you screwed up and deserve to get creamed for it before you can forgive yourself, you know. And, until you forgive yourself, the forgiveness of others is hateful to you, since their forgiveness really rubs your nose in your own guilt, showing them to be a far nicer person than you are.

And that takes a huge amount of maturity which she obviously lacks.

She's got herself into a real tangled up psychological stink pool, and there's only one way out -- humility --- which bites like fury.

[repchick]

Praying for you and the Squirt.:pray:

[CID_0687]

Prayers for everyone involved Miss Haddie. :pray:

[Seanachie]

I'm really trying to not judge her (her behavior, yes, I am judging, but I'm trying to not judge her). I just don't understand something. She's acting worse now. She's being very nasty, very selfish, ignoring her kids. You'd think that since she had to own up to her behavior, she'd not be acting like a total bitch that is trying to make everyone around her miserable.



If there's a good psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual explanation for this, I'd love to know it.

Hello Hadassah,

You will be hard pressed to find any 'rational' answer to what this woman has done. The only thing that comes to my mind is the old adage; 'Misery loves company'.

I thank God that you have chosen, rightfully so, not to join in that misery and are prepared to rescue those you love from that very same misery. This certainly doesn't make life any easier for you but neither does it have to make your life miserable. Stick to your guns and protect those that you feel need your guidance and protection.

You have my prayers to the 'Big Guy' that He send you the strength, fortitude and determination to get you and those you love through this trying time. Keep the larger picture in mind and act accordingly; for this too shall pass with time guided along by your very own Wisdom.

Be well Lady,

Jim

[itsrea]

My son's father called me today with news that he and his wife are getting a divorce, which I knew already from my son telling me last night. However, my son's father told me the reason why and when the reason comes out, it is going to rip my son's heart apart, even more than the divorce will.


Stepmom had an affair and the youngest baby is not my son's father's daughter, as he had thought all along. When my son finds out that this beautiful baby isn't his sister, he is going to be devastated.


I'm going to be affected too, because on top of dealing with a hurting son, I may have to even change my work schedule as dad will be moving out and child care arrangements will have to change. I need wisdom in this situation. And frankly, and I hate admitting this because it means I'm not Christ-like, I wanna bash stepmom's face in because of her selfishness. Aww Had, I am so sorry...

Lord, We come before you broken, with hearts that will need your healing hand, and I ask that you wrap Hadassah and her son in your arms, hold them close to your heart so they can hear how you love them.. help them to turn to each other when in need, and help them to have the time with each other around that new work schedule too Lord.

We ask this in Jesus name,
Amen

[jwil59]

I'm really trying to not judge her (her behavior, yes, I am judging, but I'm trying to not judge her). I just don't understand something. She's acting worse now. She's being very nasty, very selfish, ignoring her kids. You'd think that since she had to own up to her behavior, she'd not be acting like a total bitch that is trying to make everyone around her miserable.



If there's a good psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual explanation for this, I'd love to know it.

I wish I knew what made people do the things they do.

I am praying for you guys

[Seanachie]

Hello Hadassah,

You and your were in my prayers to the Good Lord at the Falls this past Sunday. I again implored my plea to Him that He bestow upon you Solomon's Wisdom in dealing with this situation.

Be well Lady,

Jim

[CMike11]

I am really sorry. Honestly, I didn't quite follow it.

But I wish you all the best and I hope things get better.

[Hadassah]

Things really exploded this afternoon.



Stepmom threw my son's father out of the house this afternoon. My son was a wreck. Then daddy thought it best that my son "know the truth" that stepmom had an affair and that the youngest baby is not his sister. And I was stuck at work and couldn't get to my sobbing hurting son.



I must say though, that he did calm down and handled the rest of the evening well. He didn't think so, because he said , "I'm not handling it well cause I was in the bedroom hitting the floor with my fist." I told him that it was perfectly normal and perfectly ok to be that hurt and angry, as long as he didn't try to hurt himself or others. I was proud of him. He's getting to be so mature.

[rhet 2]

Things really exploded this afternoon.



Stepmom threw my son's father out of the house this afternoon. My son was a wreck. Then daddy thought it best that my son "know the truth" that stepmom had an affair and that the youngest baby is not his sister. And I was stuck at work and couldn't get to my sobbing hurting son.



I must say though, that he did calm down and handled the rest of the evening well. He didn't think so, because he said , "I'm not handling it well cause I was in the bedroom hitting the floor with my fist." I told him that it was perfectly normal and perfectly ok to be that hurt and angry, as long as he didn't try to hurt himself or others. I was proud of him. He's getting to be so mature.

Wow! Just wow!

You know, lovely lady, you're doing such a remarkably FINE job as that boy's mother, I'm in awe. Truly outstanding mom, beyond doubt.

And Squirt is turning into a man worthy of such a noble effort. Someday, when you're old and gray and terribly weary, he'll be your comfort and your mainstay, your pride and your joy, that's for sure! :clap:

Tell Squirt Man that Grandma Rhet thinks he handled the pain like a true man. Stuff like this HURTS -- and he dealt with the hurt beautifully. I'd have been outside ripping weeds out of the lawn or something, cussing like an old sailor fit to make the neighbors cringe.

[itsrea]

Aww Had, what a awful time for you both.. I'm glad that your son is open and talking to you about how he feels or what he's doing tho - I'll be sure to say some prayers for you all.

Rea

[doodle5]

prayers for all of you as you work through this hurting time!!

Christ is the healer in any situation!!

Christ will come with healing in His wings.
I think it is in Malachi last chapter.

WOW TO ALL OF THIS!!

People are hurting today more than ever and reactions along with it!!

The husband did a good thing for his emotions by hitting the floor.

Carlene

[jwil59]

Things really exploded this afternoon.



Stepmom threw my son's father out of the house this afternoon. My son was a wreck. Then daddy thought it best that my son "know the truth" that stepmom had an affair and that the youngest baby is not his sister. And I was stuck at work and couldn't get to my sobbing hurting son.



I must say though, that he did calm down and handled the rest of the evening well. He didn't think so, because he said , "I'm not handling it well cause I was in the bedroom hitting the floor with my fist." I told him that it was perfectly normal and perfectly ok to be that hurt and angry, as long as he didn't try to hurt himself or others. I was proud of him. He's getting to be so mature.

Oh my goodness. I am praying about this.

How is he today?

[Hadassah]

He's acting ok, but he told me he's very angry with his stepmother. Understandable.


I found out more. Stepmom is apparently flipping out because she's reacting to childhood traumas. My son's father also thinks she's mentally ill, but I know him.....he can be abusive and usually thinks very negatively, so I don't completely trust his assessment of anything.


My heart is starting to break for her.

[Hadassah]

My son wants to continue spending time with his stepmom. I don't want that at all for a few reasons. The big reason is, of course, how's she's acting.....like she doesn't care about the kids, going from happy one minute to screaming like a maniac the next, etc. Another reason is that she wants her new boyfriend, who may or may not be the baby's daddy, to move in now that she threw my son's father out. I don't want my son around that behavior.


I have no idea what to do. I don't believe my son is in imminent physical danger when he is there, but should I let him be around her?

[Seanachie]

Hello Hadassah,

OH! Hell NO! for a wealth or reasons as to what goes on in that particular environment! Letting your Son take part, wittingly or not, will develop a host of problems that YOU will have to deal with in the future. Draw the 'do not cross' line in the sand Lady!

Be well Lady,

Jim

[Seanachie]

Hello again Hadassah,

My apology for losing track of what this thread is all about. You and your entire Family are in my prayers to the 'Big Guy'. It just hit me in the head like a tommyknocker a moment ago as I was having my 'talk' with Him that I neglected to keep all of you in my prayers. I suppose reading your post and my reply had me all riled up a bit and I lost sight of that which is so important; simply praying. Again, my sincere apology.

Be well Lady,

Jim

[USMCmom]

My son wants to continue spending time with his stepmom. I don't want that at all for a few reasons. The big reason is, of course, how's she's acting.....like she doesn't care about the kids, going from happy one minute to screaming like a maniac the next, etc. Another reason is that she wants her new boyfriend, who may or may not be the baby's daddy, to move in now that she threw my son's father out. I don't want my son around that behavior.


I have no idea what to do. I don't believe my son is in imminent physical danger when he is there, but should I let him be around her?

Hadassah...you and your son are in my prayers. I think your instincts are right on target and I wouldn't want my child to see that kind of behavior either.
Take care & God Bless

[blazer]

Hello sweet sister! love and prayers! :hug:

[Hadassah]

The situation keeps getting worse and worse. I expected that, but does daddy really need to tell my son even more "dirty little secrets"?! :wall: He found out recently that his wife is a compulsive liar. (Duh, I could have told you she lied. She called the police on me a few years ago claiming abuse of my child by me in front of her.) He called me today to tell me that he's bringing my son home and he called his wife a "****nut". When I told him to not call his wife names in front of my son, he told me that he just told my son a few things (like about the lying) to explain to him that she was really "****ed up". Does my son need to know this?! (rhetorical question. I know he doesn't need to know).

[rhet 2]

The situation keeps getting worse and worse. I expected that, but does daddy really need to tell my son even more "dirty little secrets"?! :wall: He found out recently that his wife is a compulsive liar. (Duh, I could have told you she lied. She called the police on me a few years ago claiming abuse of my child by me in front of her.) He called me today to tell me that he's bringing my son home and he called his wife a "****nut". When I told him to not call his wife names in front of my son, he told me that he just told my son a few things (like about the lying) to explain to him that she was really "****ed up". Does my son need to know this?! (rhetorical question. I know he doesn't need to know).

I so pray for you
and
Squirt the Man
to have the wisdom
to know what is worth attention
and
what is so totally, eminently worthy of being ignored.

Poor luv.

I hold you and your son most dear and pray for the LORD to ease the way for you both.

:hug:

[bella-day]

Oh Haddi, in my prayers you two are.

I hope his Dad can get over this anger and remember that your son is just way too young to have to carry this with him.

[rhet 2]

Oh Haddi, in my prayers you two are.

I hope his Dad can get over this anger and remember that your son is just way too young to have to carry this with him.

Truth

Thunderation, at 60, I'd be too young for such baggage in my soul!

Crap like this blinds you to rainbows and robins, soccer balls and baseball bats -- and makes it impossible to hug puppies instead of kicking them.

Hard enough to drink the joys of living instead of wallowing in its manure, even for adults, much less kids.

I pray that man gets his head out of his own self-made mess and starts rejoicing with his son, instead.

[jwil59]

The situation keeps getting worse and worse. I expected that, but does daddy really need to tell my son even more "dirty little secrets"?! :wall: He found out recently that his wife is a compulsive liar. (Duh, I could have told you she lied. She called the police on me a few years ago claiming abuse of my child by me in front of her.) He called me today to tell me that he's bringing my son home and he called his wife a "****nut". When I told him to not call his wife names in front of my son, he told me that he just told my son a few things (like about the lying) to explain to him that she was really "****ed up". Does my son need to know this?! (rhetorical question. I know he doesn't need to know).

I agree with the others that he sounds kinda angry. Geez I am sorry you are feeling this stress Had. I am praying about this

[birdonawire]

I'm sorry I dont have any advice for you sweetie but you are still in my prayers. :pray:

[jwil59]

In my prayers as well. hang tough my dear friend

[doodle5]

No one wins in divorce!! ever.

You need wisdom and peace.

Carlene

My prayers.

[Hadassah]

:wall::wall::wall:


There's no place for my son to sleep tonight. He can, of course, stay here at home, but that means I have to take tomorrow off from work. Why on earth does this man and his wife have to keep screwing with my life and my son's life?

[blazer]

:hug:

[Hoobeedoo Bejesus]

I'm sorry, Hadassah.

You nor your son deserve this turmoil.

I can only imagine how angry it must make you to have this situation that is out of your realm of control affecting you and your son this way.

I pray there is peace ASAP!

[Hadassah]

Thanks, Hoobeedoo. :hug:


Truth be told, there are others here who are having it much worse than I am. I vent, I bitch, I moan, then I get to dealing with it and praying for those on here who need the prayers, like Mitchell and Itsrea. It's all I can do until this mess that my son's stepmom and dad made is cleared up. (Either that or punch the snot outta both of them. :lol: )

[rhet 2]

Thanks, Hoobeedoo. :hug:


Truth be told, there are others here who are having it much worse than I am. I vent, I bitch, I moan, then I get to dealing with it and praying for those on here who need the prayers, like Mitchell and Itsrea. It's all I can do until this mess that my son's stepmom and dad made is cleared up. (Either that or punch the snot outta both of them. :lol: )

I'm praying for all I'm worth.

Wish I could have some Squirt the Man -- and his beloved mama -- visitation in Texas, that I do!

But, you stand your ground and hold tough. The LORD will clean this up, you betcha. Best house cleaner in the business, our LORD. Knows where all the bugs are and gets them every one -- eventually. Just hang in there, dearest, you and Squirt, both.

And give your young man a huge hug from Grandma Rhet. Tell him I'm so proud of him, I could bust a gusset. Then tell him what a gusset is. Might get a chuckle or two from him. :hug:

[Seanachie]

Hello Hadassah,

You and your Family continue in my prayers to the Good Lord. Don't worry about 'bitching' or moaning and groaning too much. It's a positive thing to do when you feel the weight of the world on your own shoulders. Having the 'weight of the world' on one's shoulders is all relative as you have so succinctly pointed out. It doesn't matter much when that weight is felt so personally. You seem to have put it all in prospective. A darn good thing.

I hope and pray that the weight you are feeling is lifted off with the Graces of God.

Be well Lady,

Jim

[USMCmom]

Thanks, Hoobeedoo. :hug:


Truth be told, there are others here who are having it much worse than I am. I vent, I bitch, I moan, then I get to dealing with it and praying for those on here who need the prayers, like Mitchell and Itsrea. It's all I can do until this mess that my son's stepmom and dad made is cleared up. (Either that or punch the snot outta both of them. :lol: )

Think that we all need to vent...better here than on someone's face!:D (Although I have to admit to being tempted to do that a time or two!)
You and your family are in my prayers Hadassah...:pray:

[Hadassah]

Things have been a major struggle. Since my ex has no place to live right now, he's struggling with what he can do with my son on the nights he has him and struggling with how to get him to school. He has no ideas on what he's going to do with my son when school ends and he's working. It looks as if I'm going to have to start working nights because there's no way I am letting an almost 11 year old disabled kid stay by himself for 8 hours.


Not.

Gonna.

Happen.

[JenyEliza]

Nope, 11 is too young to stay all by himself for 8 hours.

I didn't let my twins stay home alone at that age, except perhaps when I made a quick dash to the store for milk, bread or cereal. All of 20-30 minutes and ONLY in the daylight hours. Never at night.

They're almost 15 now, and of course, I do leave them home alone for longer stretches and occasionally at night (which is still quick dash out when it's dark).

So, I'm with you Haddie. Not. Gonna. Happen.

Looks like you need to either

a) read the ex the riot act and tell him that HIS problems are not YOURS, and make HIM responsible for finding the solution.

or

b) get used to night shift.

Those seem to be your options at this point.

So sorry you're dealing with this.

:hug:
Jeny

[blazer]

Can you get a sitter?

[Calibabe]

My son's father called me today with news that he and his wife are getting a divorce, which I knew already from my son telling me last night. However, my son's father told me the reason why and when the reason comes out, it is going to rip my son's heart apart, even more than the divorce will.


Stepmom had an affair and the youngest baby is not my son's father's daughter, as he had thought all along. When my son finds out that this beautiful baby isn't his sister, he is going to be devastated.


I'm going to be affected too, because on top of dealing with a hurting son, I may have to even change my work schedule as dad will be moving out and child care arrangements will have to change. I need wisdom in this situation. And frankly, and I hate admitting this because it means I'm not Christ-like, I wanna bash stepmom's face in because of her selfishness.

Oh Hadassah, I am really sorry to read this entire thread and here what has happened.

First off, you have a right to be angry and upset at this woman. She messed with what is yours, your son, by her messing around on her husband. Then to top it off she goes and gets pregnant. I am thankful that seeing how coniving and lying she is that she didn't have an abortion and did bring that baby to life. However she should have been honest with your ex and told him the moment she was pregnant that this child was not his or might not be his.

I feel for you with have to adjust your life because of someone else screw up. That just plain stinks.

What in the heck is going on with people these days? It seems like they don't give a rip about anyone around them but themselves. Don't they realize that actions have consequences? I guess not. Maybe I was born in a different generation, I don't know.

One thing for sure, as good a heart as your son seems to have (you ex could take a few pointers there from his son), I am in the camp that says "heck no, he won't go" to see her alone. That woman just does not seem stable to me mentally. If she is pulling this kind of junk, one can only think of what she might try to get away with if she is allowed to be alone with your son. That is the great power that children have. They can forgive faster than we can. Shows that your influence over him and your years of love and devotion are paying dividends if you ask me!

I hope all is worked out in a way that is good for you, your son and even your ex. He has a right to be angry but he also has a responsibility to your son. He is after all his father. So it is time for him to pull those boot straps up and tighten because the ride is gonna be bumpy. However any bumps should not affect your son. Also tell him to stop "sharing" information with an 11 year old. What is it with some people! This isn't a friend he has drinks with or is at work with, this is his son. You son shouldn't have to process that type of information at that age. He should just concentrate on what he needs to do to make his son happy. Maybe that will bring him some joy. I also would add it is mighty big of you to offer your place for him to stay at to get things in check. I know I couldn't do that. Just isn't in me.

I am sure that in all of this that Our Lord will see a resolution that works for all. Will keep you and your son in my prayers.

[jwil59]

Things have been a major struggle. Since my ex has no place to live right now, he's struggling with what he can do with my son on the nights he has him and struggling with how to get him to school. He has no ideas on what he's going to do with my son when school ends and he's working. It looks as if I'm going to have to start working nights because there's no way I am letting an almost 11 year old disabled kid stay by himself for 8 hours.


Not.

Gonna.

Happen.

I am praying that God will work all this out for you Hadassah, hang tough my friend.

How are things now?

[Hadassah]

I am praying that God will work all this out for you Hadassah, hang tough my friend.

How are things now?

Well, my ex may lose his job next Wednesday, which he says may be better for him right now. And stepmom is (supposedly) in the psychiatric emergency room right now.



Oh, and my son's doctor got mad about my son's father telling my son all this ****, so I passed it along that the doctor says to shut up. (No, he didn't use those exact words. They're just my translated, abreviated version)

[rhet 2]

Well, my ex may lose his job next Wednesday, which he says may be better for him right now. And stepmom is (supposedly) in the psychiatric emergency room right now.



Oh, and my son's doctor got mad about my son's father telling my son all this ****, so I passed it along that the doctor says to shut up. (No, he didn't use those exact words. They're just my translated, abreviated version)

Since my own words about this development are not fit for general society, I think I like Squirt's doc -- I know I like Squirt's mom. And fully share in her redacted translation of the doc's own verbal response.

PRAYING for all I'm worth, oh yes I am!

[blazer]

praying for you and all involved! :hug:

[EmmanuelGoldstein]

I'm so sorry :(

I'm not sure how to say this, but your son still has a 'sister' to love. Who her father is shouldn't change how he feels about her. But I do understand what you're saying here. I hope it all works out.

[EmmanuelGoldstein]

Stepmom threw my son's father out of the house this afternoon. My son was a wreck. Then daddy thought it best that my son "know the truth" that stepmom had an affair and that the youngest baby is not his sister. And I was stuck at work and couldn't get to my sobbing hurting son.



Oh no...

Why in the HELL did he feel it was appropriate to tell a child such a thing????

I am so very sorry hun.

[rhet 2]

I'm so sorry :(

I'm not sure how to say this, but your son still has a 'sister' to love. Who her father is shouldn't change how he feels about her. But I do understand what you're saying here. I hope it all works out.

Truth

Family is more in the mind than it ever is in the DNA. Or should be, anyway.

[EmmanuelGoldstein]

Truth

Family is more in the mind than it ever is in the DNA. Or should be, anyway.
Yes.

You said it much more eloquently than I did; I'm glad you understood my point.

[rhet 2]

Yes.

You said it much more eloquently than I did; I'm glad you understood my point.

You have a Voice of your own -- and it is well worth the listening. :hug:

[misa]

Praying for all involved. In Jesus name.

[Hadassah]

OK, with this garbage going on between my son's dad and his wife, my son's dad has been scrambling for child care coverage when Squirt gets out of school on the days when he is with dad. Well, now school's over and his dad informed me last night that after our son turns 11 (in August) he intends to leave him home alone while he is working. Oh, no, I don't think so!!!!! Leave a disabled (mildly so but still disabled) child home alone for 7.5 to 8 hours?!?! So, I decided to look at day camps because I can't easily adjust my schedule to work nights. (I know, this should be dad's problem, not mine. But he's my son, so that means I have to do what I have to do.)


The one I really, really want has flexible hours and days so that for now, he can go only 2 or 3 days a week and when he turns 11 he can go all 5 days, if he wants. But it's gonna cost me mucho bucks. *sigh*

[blazer]

Sorry Haddie! :hug:

[rhet 2]

OK, with this garbage going on between my son's dad and his wife, my son's dad has been scrambling for child care coverage when Squirt gets out of school on the days when he is with dad. Well, now school's over and his dad informed me last night that after our son turns 11 (in August) he intends to leave him home alone while he is working. Oh, no, I don't think so!!!!! Leave a disabled (mildly so but still disabled) child home alone for 7.5 to 8 hours?!?! So, I decided to look at day camps because I can't easily adjust my schedule to work nights. (I know, this should be dad's problem, not mine. But he's my son, so that means I have to do what I have to do.)


The one I really, really want has flexible hours and days so that for now, he can go only 2 or 3 days a week and when he turns 11 he can go all 5 days, if he wants. But it's gonna cost me mucho bucks. *sigh*

GAG a Maggot! What kind of an IDIOT is "daddy dearest" anyway? That would be illegal as hell in Texas.

Haddie, I'm praying hard for a solution for you and Squirt.

I wish you could just pack him up and send him to Grandma Rhet for the summer. Or I could pack me up and go to you. :(( Squirt Man is far to precious a treasure to risk like that.

Any chance that Sir Dearest could/would split the cost of the camp? :pray:

[Calibabe]

OK, with this garbage going on between my son's dad and his wife, my son's dad has been scrambling for child care coverage when Squirt gets out of school on the days when he is with dad. Well, now school's over and his dad informed me last night that after our son turns 11 (in August) he intends to leave him home alone while he is working. Oh, no, I don't think so!!!!! Leave a disabled (mildly so but still disabled) child home alone for 7.5 to 8 hours?!?! So, I decided to look at day camps because I can't easily adjust my schedule to work nights. (I know, this should be dad's problem, not mine. But he's my son, so that means I have to do what I have to do.)


The one I really, really want has flexible hours and days so that for now, he can go only 2 or 3 days a week and when he turns 11 he can go all 5 days, if he wants. But it's gonna cost me mucho bucks. *sigh*

Uh, why isn't Dad paying for this expense since it is "his days" that this will be happening on? Would he be willing to split the cost? Just a though since he is responsible for taking care of his son.

[jwil59]

OK, with this garbage going on between my son's dad and his wife, my son's dad has been scrambling for child care coverage when Squirt gets out of school on the days when he is with dad. Well, now school's over and his dad informed me last night that after our son turns 11 (in August) he intends to leave him home alone while he is working. Oh, no, I don't think so!!!!! Leave a disabled (mildly so but still disabled) child home alone for 7.5 to 8 hours?!?! So, I decided to look at day camps because I can't easily adjust my schedule to work nights. (I know, this should be dad's problem, not mine. But he's my son, so that means I have to do what I have to do.)


The one I really, really want has flexible hours and days so that for now, he can go only 2 or 3 days a week and when he turns 11 he can go all 5 days, if he wants. But it's gonna cost me mucho bucks. *sigh*

I am praying about that camp, or that God will provide another way for your son to be cared for properly.

Hang in there my friend

[Hadassah]

GAG a Maggot! What kind of an IDIOT is "daddy dearest" anyway? That would be illegal as hell in Texas.

Haddie, I'm praying hard for a solution for you and Squirt.

I wish you could just pack him up and send him to Grandma Rhet for the summer. Or I could pack me up and go to you. :(( Squirt Man is far to precious a treasure to risk like that.

Any chance that Sir Dearest could/would split the cost of the camp? :pray:

Apparently it's not illegal here.


And no, he can't pay any of the cost of the camp because now, in addition to having no place to live, he lost his job, as of today.

[Hadassah]

Uh, why isn't Dad paying for this expense since it is "his days" that this will be happening on? Would he be willing to split the cost? Just a though since he is responsible for taking care of his son.

If he hadn't just lost his job, not only would I have been paying for the camp, but transporting our son back and forth (since it's near my work). Instead of being the 50-50 sharing of the time, it would be back to being 85-15, with me taking the 85%. Do I mind? No, as long as it doesn't last for a long, long time, because I know dad is going through hell trying to find a place to live and therefore a place for our son to be when he's not with me.
Oh, and I would have sent him on my days too.


Since dad just lost his job, I'm going to be sending our son 2 days a week to the camp. One of dad's days and one of mine. Won't cost me anywhere near as much. It's a win-win-win situation for all of us. :mrgreen:

[Hadassah]

I am in tears. My son just came to me and told me he missed his sister, "H". This is the second child born to daddy and stepmom; the child who is autistic. Then my son says "We figure that she only wants to keep "H" around because she gets a check." I said "We, who?" Apparently, those words came out of daddy's mouth. :wall:

[itsrea]

I am in tears. My son just came to me and told me he missed his sister, "H". This is the second child born to daddy and stepmom; the child who is autistic. Then my son says "We figure that she only wants to keep "H" around because she gets a check." I said "We, who?" Apparently, those words came out of daddy's mouth. :wall:I am so sorry (((((((Had))))))) so very, very sorry.

[rhet 2]

I am in tears. My son just came to me and told me he missed his sister, "H". This is the second child born to daddy and stepmom; the child who is autistic. Then my son says "We figure that she only wants to keep "H" around because she gets a check." I said "We, who?" Apparently, those words came out of daddy's mouth. :wall:

:((

Were you able to correct Squirt's attitude and thinking? :((

I love you both so very much and just hate seeing this kind of pain for either of you!

I'm praying that the LORD gets Dad back on the Straight Path asap!

[Hadassah]

Things are not better at all. Dad still has no job and no place to live. Stepmom hasn't seen my son, whom she said she loved like he was her own, in months. And my son may have to change school districts, again, back to the one I removed him from, if dad doesn't get a place to live in my son's current school district. I removed him for a very big reason. I don't want him going back there.

[blazer]

:hug: :pray:

[rhet 2]

Things are not better at all. Dad still has no job and no place to live. Stepmom hasn't seen my son, whom she said she loved like he was her own, in months. And my son may have to change school districts, again, back to the one I removed him from, if dad doesn't get a place to live in my son's current school district. I removed him for a very big reason. I don't want him going back there.

Can he list his legal address as your place?

I don't want him going back there, either.

And he's been so happy in the new one. :((

Praying hard about this, I am!

[Hadassah]

Can he list his legal address as your place?

I don't want him going back there, either.

And he's been so happy in the new one. :((

Praying hard about this, I am!

If I list him here then he will end up going to the city schools and there ain't no way that is going to happen. My son wanted to go to a charter school, but since he has an IEP, they won't take him.


Unless a miracle happens today, then as of September, my son will be going back to his old school district. God will be with my son wherever my son goes, but I pray that if it's not God's Will that my son goes back to the old school district, then it will not happen.

[jwil59]

If I list him here then he will end up going to the city schools and there ain't no way that is going to happen. My son wanted to go to a charter school, but since he has an IEP, they won't take him.


Unless a miracle happens today, then as of September, my son will be going back to his old school district. God will be with my son wherever my son goes, but I pray that if it's not God's Will that my son goes back to the old school district, then it will not happen.


I join you in that prayer. Hang tough my friend

[rhet 2]

I join you in that prayer. Hang tough my friend

Yeah. Me, too. With tears falling.

H, tell Squirt Grandma Rhet's praying like fury. I do like your young man so very much and so want him safe and happy. :((

[CexEdgeld]

Cat, my thoughts and prayers are with your friend for a full recovery. Also prayers for his family and friends that they will have the strength to get through this ordeal.

[Hadassah]

Well, my son's father finally got a job. He started today. He still hasn't been able to put down the deposit and first month's rent on his new place because the landlord hasn't been around. I'm still praying that God will provide a place in the school district where my son has been going to school. :pray:



Stepmom lost the home today....it's now in foreclosure. Also, she has been diagnosed as bipolar.

[rhet 2]

Well, my son's father finally got a job. He started today. He still hasn't been able to put down the deposit and first month's rent on his new place because the landlord hasn't been around. I'm still praying that God will provide a place in the school district where my son has been going to school. :pray:



Stepmom lost the home today....it's now in foreclosure. Also, she has been diagnosed as bipolar.

And I'm still praying right along with you!

[Hadassah]

He put down the deposit today. My son is going back to the old school district. :((



My ex can be such an idiot. When I found out this evening that my son was definitely going back to his old school district, I took a deep breath to compose myself because I could feel myself start to cry. My ex said "Don't make a big production over it. He will be fine." I said, "I won't." He responded with "You just did." I said, "You call that a big production? Taking a deep breath when my son isn't even around is a big production?! You call your ex-wife a "skank" in front of my son, multiple times, and I'm making a big production?"


:wall: :rolleyes: